Chapter 3 - Wonderful
"I wanna have you, 'cause you're all I've got, don't wanna lose you, 'cause it means a lot
All the joy this world can bring, doesn't give me anything, when you're not here
Idiot me, stupid fool, how could you be, so uncool?
To fall in love with someone who, doesn't really care for you, it's so obscure
But I feel, wonderful, yes I feel wonderful"
Wonderful by Annie Lennox
Charlie drew a deep breath before she pulled the door to the Blooming Rose open and entered. She could do this, it didn't matter that she had never been to a whorehouse before, she was a guy and most guys had been to a brothel at least once in their lives. She just needed to act like this wasn't anything out of the ordinary, like she had been there before. Maker, that was easier said than done. The women and most of the men were barely dressed; several of the men had women pressed up against walls vigorously discovering each other's body. Andraste's fuzzy arse isn't that why they have rooms here?
Charlie made her way up to the bartender to ask where they could find Jethann, when she stopped dead in her tracks. "Uncle Gamlen!" she exclaimed in a pitch that was much too high.
Carver kicked a warning at her as both Anders and Isabela spun to look at her. She coughed and lowered her tone, "Uncle Gamlen, I can't believe you're here."
"I can't believe you're shocked. Carver is the one that brought me the first time," her uncle retorted.
"Well, I guess I won't be popping that cherry," Isabela chortled.
"Are there any cherries left in Kirkwall which you haven't popped?" Anders asked.
"Well, considering it's Kirkwall, I do believe Carver was the last one ripe for the picking," Isabela retorted.
"Nobody from this group is picking anything of mine," Carver growled.
"I don't know about that, ole boy. Isabela is a safer bet than some of these lovely ladies. Trust me, I've treated most of them," Anders cautioned.
"I do believe you just gave me a backhanded compliment."
"So Charlie isn't ripe enough or is he too ripe for your taste, my dear pirate wench?"
"No, my dear Anders, Charlie is the perfect piece of fruit." They both stared at the delicious rogue gliding across the floor. "Perfect in every way; juicy, ripe, succulent, ready for the taking," Isabela purred.
Anders watched as Charlie worked his way through the room and Isabela was right about one thing, he was perfect in every way. "I guess you won't be taking your time in trying to take him then?" Anders inquired.
"Oh, I will take my time, Anders. Of that you will never have to doubt."
"Are you two talking about my si... brother again?"
"No, we're talking about fruit," Anders stated.
"Yes, peaches to be precise. We were talking about ripe and juicy peaches," Isabela purred.
"Deviants," Carver hissed.
"Aren't you supposed to be stuck to your brother's tail?" Isabela asked.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Carver demanded.
"You seem to be joined at his hip. Charlie will never see some action if you're constantly watching him. Or do you like that sort of thing?" Isabela asked. Then her face took on a mischievous grin, "Ooo, don't tell me you like to watch. Maybe I was wrong about you all a long; there might be a naughty streak in you that I didn't notice before."
Anders shook his head and stifled a laugh. Isabela truly enjoyed getting the younger Hawke all riled up.
Carver's face turned red, but before he could answer, a scantily clad woman stepped in front of Charlie. "My, my, precious, aren't you just the prettiest boy I've ever seen?"
Charlie was taken aback for a second, but quickly composed herself. "I get that a lot."
"Really?" The woman said as she slid her hand down Charlie's abdomen and between her legs. "And do you get a lot with this?" She asked as she grabbed at Charlie's groin. Her eyes went wide with shock.
"Well, that must be one hell of an impressive package, even the hooker is in shock," Isabela chortled as she stepped up beside Charlie. "Is it show and tell time? I want to play," Isabela cooed as she reached for Charlie's groin, but the hooker pushed her hand away.
"I don't like to share," she hissed then she turned to Charlie and whispered in her ear, "You're secret is safe with me."
"What the hell, women? Would you all stop grabbing or attempting to grab at my brother's crotch?" Carver bellowed.
"I don't see a sign hanging from it that says 'Property of Carver, please don't touch me'," Isabela retorted.
"Don't worry, my dear man. There are plenty of ladies here that would willingly grab at your... talents. So there's no need to feel left out," the hooker said.
"What? I don't feel left out; I'm just trying to protect my brother's virtue!"
"Oh, honey, I do believe that ship has left port," Isabela chuckled.
Charlie leaned into the hooker and whispered, "Thank you. What is your name?"
"Tamara the Tantalizing Tigress, but you can call me Tammi."
"I appreciate your discretion, Tammi. I am in your debt. If you ever need anything please don't hesitate to contact me," Charlie whispered then spun to leave and nearly ran into Anders who was eyeing her suspiciously. She smiled as she slide by him and made her way toward the stairs.
"What was that all about? Don't break my heart and tell me he doesn't like women," Isabela whined.
"I do believe Charlie doesn't discriminate against genders when it comes to taking a lover," Anders replied as he studied the rogue ascending the stairs.
"And how exactly would you know that, Anders?"
"Well, instead of trying to get into his pants all the time, wench. Try having a conversation for once," Anders snapped.
"Oooo, touchy, touchy, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you're quite taken with the sexy rogue."
"Who isn't? Isn't that why we all follow him around, helping him on his quests?"
"Following him does have its advantages. Such a gorgeous ass should always be followed ... among other things," Isabela purred dreamily.
"Yes, except, have you noticed that his armor is always one size to big. It's really hard to see how nice his ass is" Anders countered.
"Not when he bends over to pick something up. I just thought that he wears bigger armor to try and make up for his size. He is shorter and leaner than most men."
"Isabela something isn't right and it's like all the pieces of the puzzle are right there in front of me, but I still can't form the picture."
"You're putting too much thought into it, sweet thing. He's just a man who wants to look more intimidating. I've seen it countless times." Isabela looked thoughtful for a moment, "Although I have noticed that his voice tends to change from time to time."
"Exactly! It's as if he were going through puberty again," Anders stated.
"I agree, something strange is going on, but it's not as if we can just go up to him and ask him why he tends to sound and act more feminine at times. Maybe I just need to kiss him," Isabela said.
"What? How would that answer any questions?"
"Oh, you can tell a lot about a man in the way he kisses," Isabela cooed.
"I doubt he'll spill his secrets after one kiss from you. He might not even like it," Anders replied defensively.
"That's not what I meant, Anders. It's the kiss itself that tells you a lot about the person. The way they take you in their arms, they way their lips claim yours, the way they hold you during and after the kiss... all those things tell so much about that person and the type of lover they will be."
"You must be the most insightful pirate I have even met. You astound me sometimes."
"How many pirates have you met before me?"
"None," Anders said with a smirk.
Charlie could feel Anders eyes on her as she walked up the stairs. Bringing him along was a bad idea… a very bad idea. She knew he suspected something. Luckily she didn't think he had any idea what he was suspicious about… yet. It really would be in her best interest to stay away from him, put some distance between them, but she didn't think she could do that. He was the first person since Sayer, that had melted her heart and stirred feeling in her that she had thought had died on the day her father died. She heard him race up behind her.
"Charlie, are you okay?" he asked.
She turned and smiled that brilliant smile that she knew made Anders nervous and flustered. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"You just seemed a bit startled. That woman didn't grab you too hard did she? You looked more in shock than in pain."
"I just wasn't expecting her to be so forward. The brothels I've been to in Ferelden, the girls weren't so cheeky."
"Which brothels have you been to? The Pearl's workers are pretty forward in their services too," Anders stated.
"Aaah, well I was at the Randy Stag in Amaranthine. Kat was very nice, not overly pushy and there was Wanda's in Denerim; never made it to the Pearl."
"That's impressive. But I do still find it funny that you were so taken aback by that woman. Tamara is known for her wide range of talents. Most men would go rock hard at her touch, or so I've heard at least."
Before Charlie could reply, Isabela rushed in, pushed Anders out of the way, pulled Charlie into tight embrace and passionately claimed her lips. At first, Charlie's mind was spinning with shock, but as Isabela ran her tantalizing tongue along her lip, her body automatically responded. Her lips parted as her arms went around her neck, Isabela's tongue intertwined with hers in a lustful, hungry dance and when the pirate finally pulled away from her, she had a knowing grin on her face, "Wow!"
Charlie nervously touched her lips, "Maker's balls, Isabela! Did the atmosphere of the place just over take and you decided to seize the moment?"
"I just had to know," Isabela said still grinning from ear to ear.
"Well, that certainly woke me up," Anders said in stunned voice.
Charlie smoothed out her tunic, ran her fingers through her hair and started back up the stairs, "Well, if you have all the crazy out of your system. We are actually here for a purpose other than to make out with each other."
Anders looked at Isabela, "And what exactly did you learn?"
"Our lovable rogue over here is quite a unique kisser, almost felt like I was kissing a ... never mind."
"No, tell me... it was like a what?" Anders pleaded.
"Don't worry about it, Anders. I think I might have had too much to drink. Don't mind me. It's just the alcohol talking," Isabela said glancing between Anders and Charlie. As she turned her back on Anders, she winked at Charlie and then followed the rogue up the stairs to interrogate Jethann.
xxXxx
Charlie felt Anders' eyes on her as Carver sat down beside her at the campfire. Nowadays, the mage's eyes were always on her, as if he were studying her, waiting for some type of confirmation to something he believed. "He stares at you because you don't act like a man," Carver said.
Charlie looked around to make sure that no one was in earshot. "I'm doing my best here, dear Brother, but since I'm not a man, it's rather difficult."
"You need to train your body to behave more like a man's."
"And how in the bloody hell am I supposed to do that?"
"Well, for one thing. All men adjust themselves…"
"You do what?"
Carver sighed, "Our armor or trousers will rub or press uncomfortably on our… Uhmm…"
"Package?" Charlie offered.
"Yes, and we have to rearrange… things."
"And you do this in public?"
"Of course; it could happen anywhere, but we try to do it discretely, so not to draw attention to what we are doing. All men do it and we recognize when we see other men do it. You however, aren't doing it."
"Men are pigs!"
"Well that may be, but it's a fact of life for a guy."
"So in order to blend in as a guy your big suggestion, is for me to start grabbing my non-existent packages every chance I get?"
"Not unless you want to be arrested for inappropriate touching or perhaps have Anders want to examine your imaginary twigs and berries for some type of infection you picked up at the Rose."
"So how often do you do it then? Is there a specific way? Do you hold it for a few seconds or will that masturbation rule kick in? I need details, Brother."
"It's done nonchalantly, in a detached manner, as if it's a common occurrence," Carver stated matter-of-factly as he pulled his leg up toward his chest and casually slid his hand down between his legs, gave a quick tug at his trousers, then reached for the flask that was resting between his legs. "And that, dear sister, is how it's done."
"That was too fast. Do it again. I need to take some notes."
"Fuck you!" Carver hissed.
Charlie giggled. "No thanks, dear Brother. I might be pretending to be a man, but I don't believe in that 'keep it in the family' sort of deal."
Carver took a sip from the flask and handed it to Charlie. "Now it's your turn."
Charlie looked at him with horror as she took the canteen from him. She took a swig then leaned forward to set the container between her legs, as she straightened back up, she shifted her weight and unceremoniously pulled at her pants.
Carver snickered at her, "Not bad. You look like you have been grabbing yourself all of your life."
"I'm a quick learner."
"On to our next problem; now that we are traveling more frequently in mixed company we are going to have to deal with the problem of morning wood or in your case the lack there of," Carver said.
"Don't we take turns gathering that? I vote for you to collect it tomorrow morning."
"Oh, for the love of the Maker, not firewood!" Carver sneered as he glanced down at his crotch and understanding dawned on her face.
She glared at him, "Well I don't have the right equipment to spring up like fucking morning glory. What do you suggest I do, sleep with zucchini between my legs?"
"Do you have any you could use?"
"That was a joke, Carver! I'm not sleeping with a vegetable between my legs."
"Good point, we might need to eat it. Want me to find you a thick stick then?"
"No, I can find my own stick. Thank you very much, I'll find you one while I'm at it. It's time to replace the old one that's stuck up your arse."
Carver burst out laughing. "I have first watch, I'll find a nice thick one for you."
"I – Am - Not - Sleeping - With - Anything - Between - My – Legs!" Charlie hissed as she punctuated every word.
"Ever?"
Charlie glanced across the fire at Anders who was engrossed in a conversation with Isabela. She stared at the scruff on his face and pictured him between her legs. The thought sent a shiver down her spine and made her smile just as Anders looked over at her. His eyes danced in the gleam of the firelight as he returned the smile. Yes, she wouldn't mind him between her legs at all.
"Well, I see you found something you want between your legs and from the look he is giving you, I would say he wouldn't mind waking up between your legs either. I wonder how disappointed he would be to discover the equipment change."
"Oh, shut up! Who asked you anyway? And as for the morning wood, I'll just make sure that I'm up before everyone else or I can just pretend to be like you and feign whacking off every morning."
"Have you been watching me? That's just creepy."
"That's just gross! No, I don't need to watch. Uncle Gamlen's walls aren't that thick. It's hard to miss all that moaning and groaning you do every morning. I'm surprised our neighbors, the Millers, don't pound on the walls more than they do already. It's shocking really, that Mrs. Miller hasn't put her boot up your arse yet."
Carver's face turned bright red. He grabbed his flask and bolted to his feet. "Well that's the last time I try to help you, Brother!"
A few minutes later, Isabela slid in beside her, "What has Carver's smalls in a wad?"
"Oh, I'm just giving him a hard time about whacking his willy."
Isabela burst out laughing. "Now, I didn't expect that reply."
"You mean you haven't heard him? He is quite loud."
"No, but now that I know about it, I might have to offer him a hand, so to speak," Isabela purred.
"Knowing Carver, he would want both, not just one."
"Really now? Does he have that much girth?"
"How the bloody hell would I know?" Even as the words left her mouth, Charlie realized her mistake.
Isabela raised a suspicious eyebrow, "You're his brother, you grew up in the same household together, and it would only be natural for two brothers to have seen each other naked."
"No, my Mother had strict rules while we were growing up. 'No nakedness in each other's presents."
Isabela gave her a knowing grin. "I could see that where Bethany was concerned, but two brothers sharing the same room are bound to see each other naked at some point. Rules or no rules it can't be avoided."
"I kept my eyes closed," Charlie mumbled while looking everywhere except at the woman sitting beside her.
Isabela chuckled and then seemingly changed the subject. "Charlie, I know you have heard about my reputation. You know that I don't discriminate against gender when it comes to sex. Which means, I have kissed a lot of men and women so what do you think I learned when I kissed you?"
"That I'm a damn good kisser?" Charlie mused wistfully, hoping her joke would draw Isabela's attention away from her current questioning.
"Well, that's an understatement, sweet thing. Let me ask you this. Besides me, have you ever kissed a girl?"
"What?... Why?… Why would you want to know something like that? Yes, of course, I've kissed women before, bunches of them." Charlie lied through her teeth.
"Don't try and bullshit a bullshitter, my dear, I know you're lying." Isabela leaned in closer to her; the pirate's lips were nearly touching the side of Charlie's neck as her hot breath caressed her skin. Charlie looked over at Anders, whose eyes narrowed as he scrutinized the scene playing out before him.
"Please, Charlie, just be honest with me. I promise, I won't hurt you, I won't betray you, just trust me."
"W-what was the question again?" Charlie stuttered.
"The real question is. Do you believe that I know the difference between kissing a guy and kissing a girl?" Isabela asked.
"Well, considering you have a remarkable reputation as a lover. I'd say yes, you would probably be able to tell the difference with the average man or woman, but no one's perfect, my dear, even you might be wrong on occasion."
"My sweet Charlie, I know what the lips and tongue of a woman feels like, but even without that. There are too many small things that make me question your true identity."
"I wasn't aware that I had a true or false identity. What makes you question me exactly?"
Isabela grinned, "Oh, you're good; I believe Carver has coached you well and you have fooled most people. But it's the small things that have peeked both mine and Anders' curiosity."
"Anders? What does he have to do with it?" Charlie asked defensively.
Isabela slid her arm around Charlie's shoulders and drew her even closer. "Are you so blind not see that both Anders and I are vying for your attention? Anders maybe a lot of things, but I would never use the word naive to describe him, sweet thing. He is just as curious about you as I am. Just look at him," they both looked up at him across the fire. His eyes were smoldering with desire. Out of the corner of Charlie's eye, she saw Isabela wink at Anders and his eyes flared with anger. "Something is off with you, my dear friend, and we both sense it. We both care about you. Why won't you trust us?"
"I do trust you; I trust both of you with my life on a daily basis!"
"So you trust us with your life, but not enough to tell us your secret?"
"There is no secret. You're imagining things!" Charlie declared.
Isabela pulled Charlie into her arms and captured her lips. This time, Charlie wasn't completely caught off guard, but the pirate's lips still completely captivated her, drawing her in, until her body molded against hers. Isabela slid her hand down Charlie's side and in between her legs as she grabbed her groin and whispered, "I am not imagining that there are girl parts where boy parts should be."
Charlie pulled out of Isabela's embrace as she glanced over at Anders; his eyes were wide with a mixture of jealousy, hunger, anger and curiosity.
"Why did you just do that? In front of everyone! I can only imagine what they think," she said as her voice shook with fury and she looked over at Anders, whose head was now hanging down.
"You don't care about everyone. You just care about what Anders thinks," Isabela retorted.
"What?"
"You can't stop looking over at him, judging his reaction. You're only concern is, how Anders reacted to that little display of affection; you obviously have strong feelings for him."
Charlie remained silent for a long moment then sat back down on the ground. Isabela sat back down beside her and rested her hand on Charlie's knee. "Why, Charlie? Why have you been playing this elaborate game of deception?"
Charlie's face turned grim. She had been carrying this buried for over a year and the weight of it was becoming unbearable. She let out a long sigh. "It isn't a game. I had templars hunting me before I left Ferelden. I had to completely change my identity to throw them off my trail. Now my reputation in Kirkwall has been built on my male persona and I'm kinda stuck."
"Wait, you're a mage?" Isabela asked dumbfounded.
"Yes, I'm a mage and a rogue. I had to learn to fight in other ways, so that I could hide from the templars more easily," Charlie explained.
"So, why are you deceiving Anders? If anyone would understand running from templars it would be him."
"As an apostate, Anders is already in danger, but if we were to be together… two wanted mages… one of whom is actively being pursued by Ferelden templars… I'm pretty sure the luck for both of us would run out. I can't do that to him. I can't place his life in such jeopardy. Not to mention, I will probably lose Anders when he finds out the truth."
"Charlie, why do you think that? He cares about you... not your gender."
"Yes, but how would he feel if he finds out that I have been lying about who I am all this time?"
"I believe he would understand. He cares deeply for you."
"Isabela, it still comes back to my true identity placing his life in danger. I can't do that to him."
"I don't see how you're going to be able to stay away from him or him from you. I've seen the way the two of you look at each other. Unsated passion can only be ignored for so long, before it becomes uncontrollable," Isabela stated.
"Well, I don't have a choice. I have to make this work."
"There might be a way to squelch the burning desire in Anders, which might make things easier on you," Isabela cooed.
"What would that be?"
"You need a different lover, someone who would be around the two of you on a regular basis, to remind him that you are off limits. You need someone like me," Isabela purred.
Charlie laughed. "I enjoyed the two kisses that we shared and I know this is going to sound strange, but I'm really not into woman."
"Well, the way you responded to me, you really had me fooled. But what I was thinking is that you need is a beard," Isabela stated.
Charlie stroked the fur on her face, "Well, good thing I already have one."
Isabela giggled. "Not that kind. Typically, a beard is a man or woman used as a cover for a gay partner. In your case, I would be your beard to cover up your gender and to perpetuate the notion that you are in a relationship."
Charlie's eyes widened as a grin spread across her face. "That's bloody brilliant! You would do that for me?"
"I'm not the coldhearted wench everyone believes me to be. You're my friend, of course I would do that," Isabela said.
Charlie threw her arms around Isabela and kissed her cheek. "Thank you!"
Charlie heard a loud snort from across the fire. She looked over at Anders as he glowered at them, then turned away. Charlie's face fell as she realized the pain she would be causing Anders.
"You're the one that said this is what was best for him. Remember?"
"Yes, I know, but it doesn't make it any easier," Charlie said wistfully as she stared at Anders' back, wishing things could be different.
A/N - I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. The response has been awesome and I appreciate your support.
* A huge shout out to my Beta Goddess, Jinxy for her spankalicious beta-ing skills, for her support and for being such a great sounding board. You're the best and I am honored to call you my friend!