Chapter 4 - If We Ever Met Again

"Do you come here much? I swear I've seen your face before
Hope you don't see me blush, but I can't help but want you more, more
Baby tell me what's your story, I ain't shy, don't you worry
I'm flirtin with my eyes, wanna leave with you tonight
So do you come here much, I gotta see your face some more, some more

I'll never be the same - if we ever meet again
Won't let you get away - said if we ever meet again
This free fall's, got me so, kiss me all night don't ever let me go
I'll never be the same, if we ever meet again"

If We Ever Met Again by Timberland ft. Katy Perry

Over the next several months, Anders tried hard not to let Charlie and Isabela's relationship bother him. He told himself that there had never really been anything more between him and Charlie, other than friendship and that the connection he felt and hints of desire that he thought were there, were nothing more than his imagination and self delusion. Although, for the life of him, he couldn't see what Charlie saw in her, other than a quick tumble in between the sheets. They truly had nothing in common except drinking, both were excellent rogues and now sex… which Anders was sure they both excelled at.

Justice had been ecstatic over their relationship and continued to push Anders even harder on his manifesto and his work with the mage underground, which Anders willingly complied with in order to keep his thoughts from always drifting to Charlie.

Most of the time, Anders did a fairly good job of keeping his mind off of Charlie; even when they were on missions together, he was able to force himself to focus on the task at hand. However, Charlie still made regular visits to the clinic at night to share a bottle of wine and chat. It was then that ache would burn deep in his chest as his desire for Charlie smoldered just below the surface, always threatening to consume him. For his mental and emotional wellbeing it would have been better if Charlie had ended these late night visits, but Anders didn't have the willpower to ask him to stop coming by.

Tonight was one of those nights when his yearning for Charlie was close to boiling out of control. Charlie had sauntered into the clinic with a bottle of Antivan brandy, poured both of them a glass and then he stretched out on the cot. Anders had trouble keeping his eyes from wondering over his body. He looked down at his desk and the papers strewed across it.

"So what brings you here tonight?" Anders asked.

"You refused to go with me on my last trip to the Wounded Coast and it wounded me. So I thought I would check on you and make sure everything is alright."

Anders shuffled several papers on his desk. "Aaah, I'm fine. I just had a lot going on with the clinic and the mage underground. I just couldn't leave on such short notice."

"Aaah, I remember the good old days, Anders, when you drop everything at my beck and call," Charlie said with a grin.

Anders knew he was joking, but he really wasn't in the mood. "Yes, well. I came to my senses."

"Ooo, puppy likes to bite," Charlie said in a mocking tone.

"I'm a cat person, remember."

"Oh yes, that's right, must have slipped my mind," Charlie replied sarcastically.

There was a long pause and then Anders asked, "Where is Isabela tonight?"

"Robbing half the customers at the Hanged Man, playing Diamondback."

"Aaah, that's right up her alley. That and…" Anders started to say, but let his voice drift off.

"And what? Has someone shoved your staff up your ass or are you just naturally this bitchy and I failed to notice?"

"Oh, no, I am just dandy. No staff in sight or up any other places. Why aren't you helping the pirate wench explore the gutters tonight?" Anders retorted

"Hey! I was joking. No need to start bad-mouthing."

"Everything is a joke to you isn't it?" Anders questioned.

"Wow, if you were a girl I would think it was that time of the month. This is the thanks I get for bringing over my best brandy. If I wanted surly, I would have gone to see Fenris."

"Then why don't you!"

Charlie looked at him with such a pained expression that it broke Anders' heart. "I'm sorry, Charlie. That was uncalled for. It's just, I don't understand what you see in that foul mouth pirate," Anders explained.

"Her foul mouth is one of the things that I find most endearing," Charlie chuckled.

"Rrrright, that is about as endearing as a mole on a nug's ass."

Charlie burst out laughing. "If you examined more nug's arse, you might find that very charming."

"Seriously Charlie, is that what you are looking for in someone you love?"

"I never said I love her."

"You didn't say that you don't either."

"We have a good time together. We enjoy each other's company. Not every relationship ends with love, Anders. From what you have eluded to regarding your past, you should know this better than anyone."

"I never thought you would be the 'cheap fling' kind of guy. I was clearly mistaken," Anders sneered.

"Ouch! The pussy cat is now bringing out his claws. I never thought of you as a 'cheap shot' kind of guy."

"Maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do. So if you don't want to get scratched, I suggest you go join your part time lover at the Hanged Man."

"Well, at this point, my part time lover would be better company than the bitch I'm currently with," Charlie hissed.

"Good, I'm glad we agree on something. Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out, you might get splinters and I won't be there to take them out."

Charlie jumped to his feet and glared at Anders. "You're a real bastard, you know that? Keep this bullshit up and you might just ruin the best relationship you've ever had."

"You already ruined it when you took a roll in the hay with the cheapest slut in Kirkwall!"

As Charlie spun away from him and headed for the door, Anders thought he saw tears in his eyes. In a hushed voice he said, "Good-bye, Anders."

Anders stared at the door... Good-bye... Did he mean as in permanently? Maker's hairy arse, now who was acting like a girl?

Anders paced around the clinic for the next hour as he debated with himself and Justice, but when the devastated look on Charlie's face flashed across his mind, he grabbed his staff and ran for the Hanged Man. He rushed into the tavern, looked around and didn't see him. He raced up the stairs, taking them two at a time and as he approached Varric's room, he heard Charlie's muffled voice. "I-I think I just lost my best friend, V. The pain in my chest is like a crushing weight."

"I'm sorry, Hawke. I'm sure Blondie didn't mean it."

"He was so… so vicious. I didn't know he was capable of such cruelty. Everything I've done is to keep him safe, to protect him from the templars. I never thought he would turn on me so quickly just because he didn't approve of my bed partner."

What did he mean by protect him from the templars?

"Hawke, you have to know that Anders has feelings for you? Please tell me you aren't so naive that you can't see that?"

There was no answer, but then Varric continued. "Well, then you have to know it hurts him to see you with her. You are going to have to give him time to come to terms with that. I'm sorry to tell you, but it might be easier for him if you don't visit him at the clinic at night."

"Have I lost him Varric? Have I lost him for good?"

"If the man is half as smart as I think he is, he won't let the best thing in his life walk away without a fight."

Anders slowly turned away from the door and headed back to the clinic. Now was not the time to talk with him. Anders didn't understand how Charlie could be so upset about losing him, but be in a relationship with Isabela. His hair had fallen out of its holder, as Anders ran his fingers through the loose strands, he let out a frustrated sigh. In reality, he had no right to be upset about who Charlie slept with. As much as Anders cared about him and yearned for him, he wouldn't be able to be with him. If he was a true friend, he would be happy that Charlie found someone that he enjoyed spending time with so that he wasn't alone.

The following morning, Anders had gone to apologize and even though he didn't deserve it, Charlie immediately accepted his apology. It took time, but over the next few months they slow rebuilt their relationship and their trust in each other and Anders thanked the Maker he hadn't lost the best thing in his life.

xxXxx

"Maker's arse, Mother…"

"Do not take the Maker's name in vain," Leandra chastised Charlie.

"That's nothing. You should hear her after she has a few drinks in her at the Hanged Man," Carver said.

Charlie stuck her tongue out at him and mouthed, "Asshole."

"If the Viscount gives us back our title, you're going to have to start acting more like a lady of nobility and not some common street thug," Leandra said.

"There is nothing common about me," Charlie stated matter-of-factly.

"I don't hear you denying the thug part," her mother observed.

"Thug is such a nasty word… I prefer the term entrepreneur or venture capitalist."

Carver looked her up and down. "It's hard to believe once you are out of all that loose fitting armor that you're actually a girl."

Charlie reached out to smack him, but he quickly ducked out of the way. "Charlie, hold still! You're going to make the hemline crooked with all that jumping around."

Charlie let out a sign as she straightened the material of the dress her mother was hemming. Her mother thought that it was only appropriate to petition the Viscount dressed as a noble. Leandra had searched the markets for months, trying to find the perfect material and the ideal price. When she had finally found exactly what she was looking for, Charlie had become her model since both her and her mother were the same size. Her mother's impeccable taste had paid off because the dress was beautiful. It was a terracotta orange silk chiffon gown, but the material was unlike anything that Charlie had ever seen. It had an iridescent gleam to it that depending on how the light reflected against the material, a warm, mossy green tone shimmered across it. The tight, V cut, pleated bodice had a drop waist that met a layered flowing skirt. A red velvet ribbon accented the deep orange fabric as it wrapped around the upper torso to her back, where an addition ribbon laced down the back of the corset bodice. Her mother had added a pearl and crystal broach at the V cut neckline, emphasizing her breasts.

"Well that should do it. Now if you could just be patient a little longer, my dear, and let me see how the outfit looks with the wig I purchased," Leandra said.

"And explain to me once again, why you're going to wear a wig, Mother?" Charlie asked.

"Because the last time I met the Viscount, I had a head of raven black hair like yours and he had made several comments about how beautiful he thought my hair was…"

"Are you trying to get a date or our estate back?" Carver asked.

Leandra smiled as she straightened the flowing black tresses on Charlie's head. "A woman has to use all of her assets to get ahead in life. If I need to remind the Viscount that he once found me attractive in order to get our Estate back, then so be it."

Leandra stepped back from Charlie and let out a wistful sigh, "Maker's breathe, you're absolutely stunning."

Carver glanced over at her, grinned and spoke as if he were from some back-woods part of the country. "Well big brother, you sure make a purty girl."

While their mother's back was turned, Charlie gave him the international hand gesture for "fuck you." Carver was about to make the international hand gesture for "wanker" when a loud knock came at the door.

"Carver, please get that," Leandra said as she continued to examine all of her hard work.

Charlie heard the sound of the door open, her eyes went wide when she recognized the distinct sound of Isabela's voice and her hands began to tremble when she heard Anders' voice. Leandra grabbed her shaking hands. "Don't worry, my dear girl, no one will recognize you. I promise."

Isabela and Anders walked into the room both of their eyes went wide with shock. "Oh my, who would this lovely vision be," Isabela cooed.

"This is my cousin, Charlotte. She is visiting from Denerim," Carver said.

"Maker's breath, Carver, I didn't think anyone that gorgeous could possibly be related to you," Anders observed.

Charlie giggled, "Pleasure…" she paused, coughed as she realized her voice was too low and then started over. "Excuse me, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Charlotte, this is Charlie's companions, Isabela and Anders," Carver stated.

"The pleasure is all mine, my dear Lady. It might just be the family resemblance, but it feels as if I've seen you before." Anders replied as his eyes intensely studied her.

"I just can't see it, but I've have been told before that I look a lot like my cousins," Charlie said.

"I have to agree with Anders, you most definitely get your good looks from the other Hawke, currently not here." Isabela paused as she looked around the small room as if someone might be hiding a dark corner. "Where pray tell, is that luscious man of mine," Isabela asked with a knowing grin.

"He's in the privy chamber and has a bit of an upset stomach. I wouldn't advise going in there to greet him," Carver said dryly.

"Carver, I think you're mistaken. Charlie said he had some errands to run for your mother," Charlie corrected as she scratched her head with her middle finger. Isabela stifled a laugh while Anders looked confused about whether or not she had done that on purpose.

"Any idea when he'll be back?" Isabela asked, still trying not to laugh.

"Any minute," Carver said at the exact same time Charlie said, "Not for a while."

Anders scratched his head, "Okaayy? Now I'm confused. Which one is it?"

"Please ignore my cousin, I think he has been nipping at the sherry bottle this morning," Charlie said and then in a whisper, added, "I do believe he's three sheets to the wind."

"Aaah, he doesn't look drunk," Anders observed.

"Hey! I'm n..." Carver whined.

"Don't even try to deny it dear Bro... Cousin. You were walking into the walls a few minutes ago," Charlie grinned as Isabela once again tried to resist laughing.

Isabela sauntered up to Charlie, and slid her arm through hers, "Charlotte, I was just telling Anders about this lovely cafe that just opened up right here in Lowtown. Anders and I were going to go there for a bite to eat. We would just love it if you could join us," Isabela purred.

"I appreciate your offer, but I can't possible go out at the moment. I came to visit my aunt and cousins after all. I think they might consider it rude if I just leave them to themselves right now," Charlie explained.

"Oh no, we wouldn't consider it rude at all. Please, Cousin, I insist that you join Anders and Isabela for lunch," Carver said as he feigned being the gracious host.

Charlie stared daggers at her brother, "What about you, Cousin? Why don't you come along as well?"

"Oh no, I think I'll take a nap and sleep off all that sherry I drank," Carver jeered.

"Fine, you enjoy yourself," Charlie hissed through gritted teeth.

With her arm still laced through Charlie's, Isabela led her toward the door, she leaned in and whispered, "Andraste's sweet twat, Charlie, it's truly a shame to cover up that beautiful face with that fake beard."

"Which beard are we talking about? You or the animal fur," Charlie asked dryly.

"Isabela, would you mind if I escort the lovely lady to lunch? I think Charlie might get the wrong idea if he sees you joined at the hip with his gorgeous cousin," Anders asked.

A sly smirk crossed Isabela's face. "Oh, and we wouldn't want to give him that impression, now would we. I'll let the two of you go off and enjoy lunch, as long as you promise to bring this delicious creature to the Hanged Man later on. I'm sure the whole gang will want to meet Charlie's distant cousin. Maybe that man of mine might even eventually show up."

"I certainly hope so," Charlie mused as if speaking to herself.

Anders slid his arm around her waist as he escorted her out the door.

xxXxx

From the moment that Anders walked into the room and saw Charlotte, he was unexplainably drawn to her. She was the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on. The family resemblance was strong and her mannerisms reminded him in some strange way of Charlie. Maybe that was why he was drawn to her.

Justice adamantly objecting to Anders wasting his time on such frivolous activities; Anders decided to ignore him. He hadn't taken a day off from the clinic since he arrived, unless he was accompanying Charlie on a mission and that was hardly a relaxing endeavor.

Charlotte was delightful company. She was carefree and lighthearted, where Charlie always seemed uneasy, on edge, as if waiting to be discovered for a bad deed. Charlotte did have the same wicked sense of humor as Charlie and she kept him entertained and on his toes throughout their lunch.

Once the waiter had poured their wine and left the table, Anders leaned forward. "So, how is it that a charming woman such as yourself is related to the weird and wonderful Hawke family? Are you very close to your cousins?"

"How do you know I'm not weird and wonderful too? You just met me," Charlotte asked coolly.

"Among my list of extraordinary talents, I am also a good judge of character. You do remind me of Charlie in some ways, but there is a mystery around you that I find intriguing."

She gave him a roguish grin that drove him crazy. It was so similar to Charlie's and Maker, if it didn't have the same effect on him. "Mystery, huh? I find that intriguing. Why do you find me mysterious?"

"There is something about you that seems so familiar to me, but I just can't put my finger on it. I feel as if I know you, and yet there is so much about you that I don't, because I just met you. That's the mystery."

"Ask me anything you want. I am an open book," Charlotte cooed in a sweet sexy voice.

"Okay, let's start with, where have you been all my life?" He asked with the cutest smile.

Justice was screaming something in his head about how completely inappropriate his comment was, Anders told him to sod off. He was having way too much fun.

She giggled, "Probably right under nose and didn't even realize it."

"Trust me, I would have noticed if you were. I would have to be the biggest idiot in Kirkwall if I hadn't noticed you here before," Anders stated.

Charlotte laughed even harder. She had the sexiest, most feminine laugh he had ever heard. It was the complete opposite of Charlie's. It always seemed as if he was trying to stifle his laugh, but when it did escaped it was a cross between a pig snorting and dog baying. "Sometimes the very thing you want can be right in front of you without even seeing them there until you are ready too."

"If I didn't know better, I'd think that I am an idiot and you do actually live in Kirkwall. But seeing as I have faith in my abilities, my next question would be where are you from?"

"I grew up in a little village just outside of Denerim."

"Does this little village have a name? And do you still live there? I am quite familiar with Ferelden, you know."

"It's a tiny village. You've probably never heard of it. It was called Oxbridge. I currently live in Denerim."

Anders had sensed the magic in her from the moment that he had walked into Gamlen's house. "Soooo, you've never been to the Ferelden Circle of Magi?"

"No, what would I do there? It's quite a walk from Denerim, you know."

"I thought you might have learned to practice magic there. Although I knew all the beautiful apprentices and I would have definitely remembered you." Anders watched as her face completely drained of color.

"I... I don't have magic. Whatever gave you that idea?"

"I can sense it in you," Anders said as his eyes narrowed in on her.

"You're a mage?" She asked as she leaned across the table so not be heard and exposing the tops of her creamy breasts. Anders swallowed hard and forced himself to look into her eyes.

"I told you I have a number of impressive skills. Being a mage is only one of them. How do you manage to slip the templars? It's not an easy thing to do."

"You're mistaken. I'm not a mage and the mages that I have known, my uncle and cousins being among them, I have never known a mage to be able to sense magic in another," she retorted.

"Oh, liar, liar, knickers on fire. You're a mage. You know it and I know it. So admit it and I might tell you how I can sense it."

She leaned further in, exposing even more of her breasts. They looked so supple, so soft... she was trying to distract him and by the Maker's hairy balls she was doing an excellent job of it. She smiled at him and purred. "Let's not argue about whether or not I have magic. Why don't you tell me about all the pretty apprentices you tried to seduce and how successful you were?"

"I can't reveal those precious secrets to you. If I want to have any hope of getting to know you better."

"And why is that? I'm not intimidated by your previous conquests. That is what makes you who you are today."

"That's very open-minded of you. Most young women are insecure about a man's past."

"Well, I'm not most young girls.

"You certainly aren't," Anders interjected.

"And I won't be intimidated by your past if you won't be intimidated by mine," she cooed with a sly grin.

"Oooo, sounds very intriguing and again very mysterious, but it might not make me look good in your eyes if you knew that I might have had a crush on your cousin."

The same roguish grin that Charlie had, spread across her face, "Might have? You certainly got over your feeling awfully quickly. It's probably a good thing that he didn't get involved with you if you're the love and leave him type."

"I'm not…Well, not anymore. Besides, he chose to be with another. I can't stand in the way if he has feelings for someone else. I still do care about him a great deal, even if I'm not the one by his side," Anders confessed.

"So am I just a distraction to easy your pain? Someone to help you forget about the one you really want, but can't have."

"What? No, not at all. Oh, damn it! I'm getting this all wrong. I am turning into a bumbling idiot in front of you. No one has ever had that effect on me before, it has caught me off-guard," Anders sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. He used to be much better at this. In the past he could have charmed a woman or man out of their clothes in a minute flat with time to spare, but now he was a blithering idiot. No one, man or woman, had ever unnerved him so completely as Charlotte had done.

She reached across the table and gently grasped his hand. Her touch instantly calmed him and comforted him. Charlie had only ever touched him once and it had been the first night they had met. From that point on it was as if he had made an effort not to physically touch him. "Anders, my cousin has many fine qualities, but he must be a blind fool not to want to be with someone like you."

"Are you trying to make me pine after your cousin again?" This had to be the strangest conversation Anders had ever had and he had never been more confused or more captivated in his life. One minute she was outrageously flirting with him and the next, pushing him back towards Charlie.

"My cousin lives in your fair city, I am only a visitor. Eventually I will have to leave and disappear from your life."

"No. I don't want you to leave. As I said, I am drawn to you like a moth to a flame. If you leave now, you will be the second Hawke who breaks my heart. I would end up as a weird old mage sitting in a lonely little house, surrounded by cats, mumbling about the one good day in my life that I spent with you. You don't want me to turn out that way, do you?"

She laughed that incredibly sexy laugh of hers. "I can't stay here forever, Anders. This isn't my home. I am only here to visit on my aunt and cousins, but while I am here I would love to spend time with you when you aren't busy helping Charlie."

Anders smiled. That was all that he could ask for at this point. "Charlie along with the rest of his companions are meeting at the Hanged Man this afternoon for drinks. Would you like to join them?"

"They're drinking in the middle of the afternoon?"

"Of course! It's a tradition here in Kirkwall, didn't anyone tell you?"

"No, they failed to mention it. Are you sure it's a Kirkwall tradition and not a Charlie tradition? I do recall his love for brandy."

"It's hard to say, really. Charlie has brought a lot of changes to Kirkwall in the time he has been here. He does know good brandy when he sees it. Do you have a favorite brand?"

"I'm a big fan of Antivan wine and brandy."

"Wow, so is Charlie. Isn't that a coincidence?" Anders mused.

"Excellent taste in alcohol must run in the family."

"Being drop dead beautiful must also run in the family."

"You think my male cousin is beautiful?"

"He is beautiful. I know it's a strange way to describe a man. But he is."

"We are talking about Charlie right? Not Carver?"

"Oh sweet Maker! Of course we're talking about Charlie. Carver doesn't have any beautiful qualities from what I've noticed," Anders snorted.

She chuckled. "Just checking...What else do you think about Charlie?"

Anders eyes narrowed. "If I didn't know any better I'd swear you're fishing for compliments, but why do you care what I think about Charlie?"

"He's my cousin. I'm concerned for his happiness and well being," Charlotte answered.

"Then you should be asking Isabela her thoughts on Charlie, not me," Anders replied as he tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"I'm sorry, you sound upset. I didn't mean to distress you," Charlotte said sympathetically.

"I-I didn't mean to sound bitter. I'm not. I'm over… it… really."

"Are you trying to convince me of that, or yourself?" She asked.

"Both of us, I imagine. But things change. It will only get better from now on. I know it will!"

She gently ran her thumb across the top of his hand causing a shiver to ripple through his body. "Before, when I asked you if I was a distraction from your pain, I asked you that because I wanted to let you know that while I'm here in Kirkwall, I don't mind being a diversion for you."

Justice roared in his head to run! Anders almost fell off of his chair. When he regained his ability to think, he once again told the spirit to bugger off.

He didn't want Charlotte to just be a diversion. Maker, he wanted… fuck he wanted to call her his… he wanted to marry her and have kids with her and he knew how crazy that sounded because he had just met her, but she felt like home… safe... secure… loved. He let out a sigh in frustration.

"Why couldn't I have met you five years ago? We would be married with three kids by now. I know I just met you, but I'm drawn to you in way I can't explain. I-I want so much more with you than just a diversion, but I fear in the end I would break your heart. That is if you didn't break mine when you returned home."

"Anders...I..."

"Ssssh, please don't say anything. Let's not ruin what otherwise has been the best afternoon of my life."

She nodded in agreement then excused herself to use the privy chamber before they headed to the Hanged Man. When she exited, she discretely handed the host a note and what looked like a couple of coins. Then she headed back to the table.

"Did I just see you give the host a message?" he asked.

"Yes, I asked him to have a message delivered to my Aunt, so that she doesn't worry."

Anders nodded as he rested his hand on the small of her back and lead her toward the door. "That was very thoughtful of you."

A/N - If you were curious about Charlie's dress this was the inspiration for it. – ht tp : / / www . rossetti . vispa . com / raphflame . html (Remove the spaces)

*A huge thank you tothose of you, who have favored, alerted and reviewed. You make my day so much brighter. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

*All hail to her Majesty the Betalicious Jinxy for her superior grasp of the English language, her exceptional spellcheck aptitude, her outstanding ability to help me get the creative juices flowing and her most impressive turn around speed! I bow to you…or curtsy…or both! You rule Queen Jinxy! Was that over the top? How does it feel? ; )