Disclaimer - This story is a AU. I just wanted to make that clear before you proceed with this chapter. Please enjoy!
Chapter 6- If You Leave Me Now
"If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me
No baby please don't go
If you leave me now, you'll take away the very heart of me
No baby please don't go
A love like ours is love that's hard to find
How could we let it slip away
We've come too far to leave it all behind
How could we end it all this way
When tomorrow comes we'll both regret
Things we said today
Cause I need you more than you'll ever know"
If You Leave Me Now by Chicago
Charlie lay on the cot in her room enjoying just being herself and not having to pretend to be someone else. It was a feeling most people took for granted. They woke up every morning, climbed out of bed and they were just whoever they were born to be, but where's the fun in that, right? How mundane and ordinary?
How wonderful that would be, she thought.
Charlie's life had become so unbelievable complicated. She thought about the events of the past few months. She had brilliantly backed herself into a corner and she wasn't sure how to get out of it. Most of her days were spent as Charlie…male adventure capitalist extraordinaire, cavorting around Kirkwall, rescuing the defenseless, saving puppies and kittens wherever she…he went, trying to make enough coin to support his family while saving for the Deep Roads expedition and shagging his extremely hot and provocative faux lover. Most evenings she was Charlotte, who was with Anders. She had finally admitted to him that she was a mage. There was no denying it he felt her magic and the few times that her anger got the better of her he had felt the veil slip open. It was actually a relief once she had made the confession and as it turned out it had actually brought them closer together. Anders, Anders, Anders…she thought she was in love with him before as Charlie, but now that she could be more of her true self with him, had completely captured her heart. She longed to be with him, to have him hold her, touch her, take her, but both of them were holding back; afraid to venture forward. She wasn't sure why he was hesitant to move their relationship forward, but for her it was the deception of her charade that forced her to pause. She loved him, she didn't want to hurt him and she wasn't sure how he would react when he found out that Charlie and Charlotte were one in the same. Not to mention being a wanted apostate could put a real damper on a relationship if you managed to get yourself and your would-be lover captured by the templars.
"My, my, aren't you the luscious treat all spread out, ready to be devoured," Isabela purred as she walked over to her bed and sat down beside her.
"What are you doing here, Isabela?"
"What, now I need a reason to visit my lover," Isabela cooed.
"You aren't my lover," Charlie said, very melancholy.
"I'm not? Don't tell me I walked into the wrong house again," Isabela said as she feigned looking around before fixing her gaze on Charlie, "That's right, thanks for reminding me. I'm Charlie's. Where is my handsome charming boy toy? His gloomy cousin is depressing the hell out of me."
"Charlie...Charlotte and whoever else I am at the moment, has slipped into the seventh circle of hell. But thank you for asking," Charlie said dryly.
"Is there rum in this circle? If so, I want to join the party!"
"Sure, you can be the next person I pretend to be."
Isabela burst out laughing. "I would pay a pretty coin to see you act like me."
"Oh, you're easy to impersonate. Varric would be a real challenge considering the height difference… I'm not very good company today, Bells. It might be best if you found someone else to play with today."
"What has my Kitten all depressed?"
"Oh, where to begin…let's see. I'm a straight girl who ninety percent of the time pretends to be a boy who is shagging a girl pirate. The other ten percent of the time I'm a girl whose very presence places the man that she loves in danger. Speaking of the man that said girl loves, he is falling in love with her too, but he has no clue that her cousin who he also had a huge crush is none other than said girl… holy shit I think I just confused the hell out of myself."
"You know the best way to get over your problem?" Charlie shook her head. "A good ass kickin' in the sparring ring."
"And whose ass am I kickin'?"
"Oh, you aren't the one kicking ass; I will be the one kicking your whining, self pitying arse all over the ring."
"You really think so, do you? Well, I have some news for you, Wench; Charlie is going to wipe the floor clean with you."
"Oh no, I'm not sparring Charlie, I'm sparring Charlotte," Isabela purred.
"Have you gone completely insane? How am I supposed to spar as Charlotte? I won't be able to keep the wig on."
"We will just add some extra adhesive along your hairline. It will be fine. Now let's find you some rogue armor that actually fits," Isabela stated as she walked over to the pile of armor that had yet to make its way to the market, but she didn't seem to like anything she saw. She then went over to the trunk in the corner of the room. Isabela whistled as she help up a lightweight armor suit. "This would look fantastic on you. Was it made for you?"
"No, it was my father's, but my mother had it resized to fit me. I can't wear that it's for a mage," Charlie said.
"Well, that's perfect. You can say that it was the only thing that would fit. Come on, Charlie, try it on. I just want to see it on you," Isabela purred.
Charlie rolled her eyes, grabbed the armor and stepped behind the dividing screen to change. The moment that she slid into the Fugitive's Mantle her magic began to hum and sing. The extension of herself that she had forced to be silent was vibrating throughout her body and for the first time in a very long time she felt whole. She stepped out from behind the changing screen and Isabela grinned at her. "You have to wear that, Charlie. The way it hugs your curves and cinches your waist will surely keep me distracted and give you a fighting chance."
"Fine, I'll wear it," she sighed not really wanting to take it off because she missed the feel of magic on her. She grabbed her daggers and sheathed them and headed for the door when Carver came in. He looked at the two of them as his eyes furrowed. "Where the hell are the two of you going looking like that?"
"I'm about to teach Kitten a thing or two about being a rogue," Isabela cooed.
"Through drinking and brawling in bars? She knows how to do that already," He turned and faced Charlie, "Are you completely insane? Why aren't you in your disguise?"
"I am... I'm disguised as Charlotte."
"Charlotte who is a wanted mage by the templars; or did you forget that fact?"
"I'm not going to spar as a mage. It will be fine, Carver. We are going to use the sparring ring near Darktown. I have never seen templars down there. Not to mention, I really need to pretend to be myself... at least for a little bit... I don't know if you can understand this, but I'm feeling a bit lost."
"To be honest, I was wondering when the whole double life thing would start taking its toll on you. So I can understand the need to be yourself for a while. I think it would be wise to let Varric know that the two of you are sparring near Darktown. His connections can let us know if any templars are in the area. I'll send a message to him."
The circle of those who knew Charlie and Charlotte's true identify continued to grow with Varric figuring out that Charlie and Charlotte were one in the same. The dwarf had taken in the new information with his normal humor, grace and easy manner. He had proven to be a valuable asset in spinning the tales of the handsome Charlie Hawke and he was constantly on the lookout for templars seeking Ferelden mages.
Isabela massaged Carver's bicep. "Look at you... I always knew there was a brain amongst all that brawn."
"Don't let it get around. I have a reputation to keep," Carver growled.
xxXxx
Anders was sipping his ale with Varric, recounting the story of how he had met the infamous Dark Wolf who was actually a fake because Elissa Cousland was the original, when Fenris burst into the room.
"Varric…Varric!" The elf called out as he rounded the corner then came to halt when he saw Anders.
"What is he doing here?" Fenris hissed.
"I was invited here. You clearly weren't so the question is, what are you doing here?" Anders asked.
"I have business to discuss with Varric, which doesn't concern you, so do Thedas a favor and make yourself disappear, mage."
"How about I make you disappear instead? I think all of Thedas would thank me."
"I'll show you a new meaning for the word heartless if you even think of twitching a finger in my direction," Fenris growled.
There was a knock at the door, Varric yelled for the visitor to enter. "See Fenris, that is how polite members of society ask for permission to enter a private residence," Anders stated mockingly.
A messenger entered the room and handed Varric a note. Varric tipped the young boy and then opened the sealed parchment. Anders watched the dwarf as he quickly scanned the message, his eyebrows furrowing as he read.
"Bad news?" Anders asked.
"Huh?" Varric lifted his head. "Oh no, nothing really."
"It doesn't look like nothing, Varric," Fenris stated.
"Look boys, I would love to stay and referee this lovely argument, but I am needed somewhere else," Varric said as he slung Bianca over his shoulder. He headed for the door, crumbled up the note and threw it toward the fireplace. Anders cast a spell to retrieve it before it hit the flames. Both Fenris and Anders followed the dwarf down to the tavern and as Varric headed out the door, the two of them took a seat at a nearby table. Anders spread out the crumbled paper on the table and read.
Varric,
Isabela and Charlotte are heading to the sparring ring outside of Darktown. I have grave concerns that our knights in skirts might show up. Can you please check the underground and make sure that they aren't heading our way?
Carver
Anders brow furrowed as he read the note for a second time.
"What does it say, mage?"
Anders was about to make a nasty retort about learning how to read, but decided not to be so cruel. "Charlotte and Isabela are sparring near Darktown."
"Why would that make Varric take Bianca and leave? Surely the two rogues know how to handle themselves."
Anders knew that Fenris had no idea that both Charlie and Charlotte were mages and it wasn't up to him to out the two of them. "You know how vicious sparring can get that close to Darktown. I'm sure Varric just wanted some back up to make sure nothing got out of hand. I think I'm going to head down there to just to make sure no one needs to be healed."
"Please mage, who the hell are you trying to fool? Healing my ass, you just want to see Charlotte."
"I don't care what you believe," Anders grunted as he headed for the door. Fenris was on his heels in a second and the two of them quickly made their way to the sparring ring. Varric and Carver were both standing near the fence when they arrived. Both Isabela and Charlotte were engrossed in their match, but Anders could feel the magic radiating off of Charlotte.
Anders leaned into Carver and hissed, "Why the hell is she wearing mage's armor?"
"She said she couldn't find anything else to spar in," Carver said defensively.
"Carver how could you be so stupid? I can't believe you grew up in a house with mages. That armor is going to draw on her powers, it acts as a magic honing device... it will call to her until every bone in her body is crying out for her to use her magic."
"You think I don't know that? She won't listen to me, she won't listen to anyone. Even as kids she was the most stubborn person I knew," Carver hissed back.
As they turned their attention back to the match, Fenris said, "Charlotte is an excellent fighter. I'm surprised Charlie doesn't bring her out with us on missions."
"Charlie wouldn't risk the safety of any female in our family. He is much too protective of them," Carver explained.
"Well, that doesn't say much for you then," Fenris sneered.
Anders ignored the banter, he watched closely as the two rogues spun and twirled around the ring, both were evenly matched, but he could also see the frustration growing on Charlotte's face as she struggled to hold back her most powerful weapons.
Charlotte had just materialized behind Isabela, her dagger to the wench's throat. "Oh, look what I caught, a pirate wench with no ship in sight to dock in her harbor."
"I believe I have the perfect ship for your harbor, Sweet Thing," Isabela cooed as she grabbed Charlotte's forearm, bent at the waist, flipped Charlotte over her shoulder and onto her back, down at her feet.
Anders felt the veil slip open and he froze. His body tensed as he waited for the spell to be cast, but Charlotte pushed the door to the Fade closed as she rolled out of Isabela's grasp and sprung to her feet. Maker's breath, the amount of control it took to stop from casting a spell with the veil open and all of her instincts crying out for her to use the power building in her, was extraordinary. To have that kind of strength and resolve, she had to be an exceptional caster and apart of him wanted to see her in action.
Charlotte was using every ounce of concentration she had not to cast a spell at Isabela. Her body was shaking with desire to release the power that was screaming for her to use. She had just rolled away from Isabela when she heard Varric yell, "Anders, Fenris, go check around the corner I think I saw something."
As soon as they were out of sight, Varric waved her over. She leapt away from Isabela, evading her counterattack and rushed over to the dwarf. He motioned for her to bend down. He reached up and straightened her wig. "By my ancestor's hairy asses, if I'm not fixing your damn beard, I'm fixing your wig. I'm a dwarf not your personal stylist."
Charlotte leaned in, kissed Varric on the cheek. "I love you, Varric. What would I do without my trusty dwarf?"
"Probably run around Kirwall in a dress with a beard on your face instead of on your arm."
"Are you going to make out with our stout friend all day or are we going to finish this match?" Isabela yelled from behind her.
"Keep your knickers on, woman. Can't you see I'm having a moment with my friend over here?"
"For your information, I'm not wearing any!" Isabela exclaimed.
"That is really more information than I needed, Rivaini."
Anders jogged up to the pair. "I'm gone for a minute and dump me for a dwarf?" Anders asked as he winked at her.
"Not just any dwarf, Blondie, but heartbreakingly handsome dwarf with wicked sense of humor and a nasty crossbow."
"Today people, before I've worked all the alcohol out of my system," Isabela yelled.
"Would you give it rest for a minute," Anders yelled as he pulled Charlie away from everyone. "Charlotte, are you okay? I felt the veil open several times. Maybe you should just call it even and walk away before the magic overpowers you."
"I'm fine, Anders. I have it under control," Charlotte said as she kissed him on the cheek and spun around to face Isabela.
"Hey, don't tell me you're gonna be kissing everyone? Here I thought I was special," Varric grumbled.
"You are special, just not as special as me," Anders chuckled.
"You have a long way to go to reach my level of special, Blondie. I am practically a trademark," Varric chortled.
"Oh, the mage is special alright, but more in the 'I need an exorcism' kind of way," Fenris jeered.
"Let me exorcise my staff that I'm about shove up your arse."
"Would you both just pipe down? There's no need to see who can glow the best shade of blue at the moment," Varric said.
Anders took a deep breath, turned his attention back to the ring and watched the two rogues continue to go after each other for the next hour. It was such an incredible turn on watching Charlotte maneuver and counter Isabela's every move. She was grace and elegance rolled up into a deadly package. Without a doubt, Charlotte would have bested the pirate if she wasn't constantly fighting against her nature to cast a spell. He was falling for her…falling hard and even though Justice fought him on this he wouldn't…couldn't give her up.
Finally both of them decided to call it a draw. Both of the rogues made their way over to the fence. Anders handed both of them a flask of water and a towel.
"Maker, I need a drink," Isabela cooed.
"I got thirsty just watching the two of you. Let's head to the Hanged Man. First round is on me," Varric said.
"Oooo, I love it when you buy," Charlotte cooed.
They all started to head back to Lowtown when Anders pulled Charlotte into a dark alley and pressed her against a wall. This was a bold move from him, considering he had yet to even kiss her, but Maker, he just couldn't resist her any longer. Her eyes darkened with desire as he felt her breath hitch.
"Anders?"
"I can't fight what I feel for you any longer. We leave for the Deep Roads in two days. I don't want to be gone from you for months and not know the sweetness of your lips."
Anders' hand slid around her neck to her nape, he pulled her to him as his mouth finally claimed hers with all the hunger and desire that had been building up between them for the past several months. He leaned further into her, the very smell of her inundated his senses, causing his head to spin as his groin tightened with yearning for her. Maker, she felt and tasted better than anything he had experienced before.
"Oh, M-maker, Charlotte, I want… I need you so badly." He moaned just before his lips captured hers again. He devoured her mouth as he pressed his groin against her core, causing her to moan his name. He loved the sound of his name falling from her lips and he wanted to make her do it again. Her tongue darted into his mouth, danced against his like a velvet flame that burned so hot, yet so sweet through his entire body.
The hot, burning sensation starting in his groin raged through him as his tongue explored and tasted her. He deepened the kiss and her soft silky tongue intertwined and danced with his. A low moan escaped from her lips and he felt an even stronger surge of lust between his legs. She pressed into his throbbing groin and sparks of magical electrical current passed between them, causing both of them shudder and moan.
A yell came from the mouth of the alley, "Down here, I felt the veil shift."
For a brief second both of them froze as the templars entered the mouth of the alley. Anders moved Charlotte behind him, blocking most of her from their view.
"Excuse me, but you're intruding on a private moment between me and my girlfriend," Anders explained.
The templars moved closer to them, both of them had their swords drawn. As the moon moved from behind the clouds, Anders noticed the insignia on the templars sleeve was Ferelden, not the Free March's emblem. What the hell were Ferelden templars doing here?
One of them pointed at Charlotte, "She looks exactly like the sketch we have of the wanted apostate that escaped during the Blight."
Before either templar could react both Charlie and Anders froze them. Anders grabbed Charlotte's hand to rush her out of the alley. "Come on Charlotte, we have to get out of here," but Charlotte pulled her hand free of his.
She stepped up to the templar that she had frozen and she unfroze his mind. She raised her hand to his head, chanted an incantation then said out loud, "You did not find the apostate you seek here in Kirkwall. There are no apostates here that you seek. You received a tip that the girl you seek is headed for Antiva. Do you understand?"
"Yes," the templar said almost as if he were in a trance.
"Repeat it back to me," Charlotte ordered and the templar did so.
Maker's sweaty balls, he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Enthralling Presence was a powerful charm spell from the school of illusion. Illusion spells were hard spells that were extremely difficult to master because it required the mage to manipulate the mind of another. Anders had only known a few illusion mages at the circle, but none that had harnessed Enthralling Presence. That spell allowed the caster to briefly control the mind of others by implanting suggestions. It was such a rare talent that Anders had only read about and never had known anyone that could cast it. The Chantry viewed Illusion mages as extremely useful and extremely dangerous. No wonder Ferelden templars were after her.
Charlotte refroze the templar. Then she looked over at Anders, "Can you release his mind for me?" Still stunned, Anders released the templar's mind and watched as Charlotte implanted the same suggestion into the second knight's mind.
Then she grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the alley and away from the men. "I bet you could have them dancing the Remigold in their smalls if you put your mind to it," Anders said as they kept running.
Charlotte smiled roguishly at him. "Oh, yes, while they cut their wrist in the pale light of the full moon, but we don't have time. Let's go. NOW!"
When they had made it back to his clinic, he closed and locked the door then turned to face her. "I have only met a few mages that had enough power to effectively use illusion magic and I have never met anyone who can cast an Enthralling Presence spell. Where did you learn that?"
"From my uncle," she replied.
Anders raised an eyebrow, "Really? Malcolm Hawke was an illusion mage?"
"Charlie's father was an illusion master, it was one of the reasons that he was able to effectively conceal his family's identity for so long. When he realized that I had the aptitude for illusions, he began to train me."
"Does Charlie use illusion magic too?"
She took a moment to collect her thoughts before she answered. "I know that my uncle trained both of us in it, but what all Charlie had mastered before my uncle died, I'm not sure," Charlotte paused for a long moment the she looked up at Anders with such a sad expression on her face. "I'm sorry Anders, but I won't be here when you return from the Deep Roads."
Anders felt his heart literally stop. "What?...Why?"
"They tracked me here from Ferelden and even though I manipulated their thoughts, it's hard to tell if they will follow my suggestion or not. I can't stay here and endanger your life or my family's life. I need to leave immediately."
"NO! Please, I can't lose you. Charlotte…I need you. For the first time in a very long time I feel at peace when I'm with you. You have this amazing way of calming and comforting me…I know that we have only known each for a short period of time, but I feel as if I have known you for years. I… I lo…love everything about you and care for you deeply, Charlotte."
She stepped into him and stroked his cheek with her hand. "I love you too, Anders. I care for you more than words can say and that is why I need to leave. I need to protect you and keep you safe. Please Anders, don't make this good-bye any harder than it already is."
Anders pulled her into his arms; he dipped his head to capture her mouth in a slow, searing kiss goodbye that was such a pleasurable burn. Justice was yelling in his head to stop, that this was a mistake of disastrous portions and that his obsession with her would be their destruction.
Anders completely ignored the Spirit as he delved into her mouth, invading her, exploring… tasting – she was so sweet, so divine. It sent a tremble of helpless need through him. Her tongue slid and plunged his into his mouth – so eager, so needful. She moaned against his lips as she pushed her hips against him again. Her tongue thrust hungrily inside his mouth, retreated, and thrust again—over and over. The wild rhythm unleashed a burning flood of desire in him. He pressed against her, wanting, needing to be closer to her. The feel of her, the taste of her was intoxicating and he desperately wanted to take her and make her his. He had no willpower left when it came to this woman. All of his senses and logic completely went out the window when she was around, and all he wanted to do was please her in every way. His hand slipped up to undo the buckles of her armor…
A loud bang at the door made both of them leap apart from each other, both assumed a defensive pose ready to attack. Another loud bang followed by Isabela's loud cry, "Anders, please tell me that you and Charlotte are in there!"
Anders relaxed and opened the door. "Thank the Maker," Isabela said as she walked. "We are all frantically looking for the two of you."
"Why?" Anders asked.
"Half of Kirkwall's templars are looking for a mage fitting Charlotte's description," Isabela explained.
"What! Why?" Charlie demanded.
"I don't know all the details, but there were these Ferelden templars hunting what they describe as an 'extremely dangerous' apostate who looks like Charlotte. When the two of you didn't arrive at the Hanged Man, we all became worried about you. I need to get you to your Gamlen's house. You need to get the hell out of Kirkwall."
Charlotte nodded and turned back to Anders. "I need to go…"
"Let me walk you back to your Uncle's," Anders said.
"No, if I were to get caught I don't want you near me." She leaned in and brushed her lips against Anders and whispered so low that he barely heard her, "I love you."
He pulled her to him as he pressed his lips against her sweet mouth - so warm, inviting, and intoxicating. He didn't care that Isabela was there. He coerced her lips apart to open, to let him in. Maker, she tasted divine and she returned the kiss just as enthusiastically as she deepened the kiss, hypnotizing and mesmerizing him. As he said good-bye to her, he let go of all his reservations and gave into his all consuming yearning for this woman. All he could think about was her soft sweet lips, the silky, enticing scent of her skin. He was drowning in her, but it was a delicious, sensual undertow of unquenched desire that continued to pull him down. When they parted they were both flushed and panting. "I love you, too," he whispered back.
"Wow, that was so incredibly hot," Isabela exclaimed, fanning herself as she took Charlotte by the arm and lead her out the door.
A/N - A huge shout out to everyone that has added this story to their favs and alert lists and to those that have shared your thoughts with me. I really appreciate it. I also want to thank those that have added me to their favorite author's lists. It is an honor to be mentioned among such great and talented writers.
*For Jinx -Mia bella friend, Lei vive un mondo lontano, ma sa per favore che lei significa il mondo a me. So che questo è stato un giorno duro per lei, ma sa che l'amo. Lei è nei miei pensieri e sempre nel mio cuore.