Hey! Hey, everybody! I managed to upload something with more than one chapter! Granted, it's a collaboration, but, hey, we'll take what we can get here, right?

I am so, so sorry for America's abuse of the English language.

Hey imposter
Okay, everything about you makes me think your America— but you can't be America cause I'M America! Wtf?
A-ME-rica

America,
I'm NOT America. I'm Canada. I seriously worry about your memory sometimes.
Canada

"Canada"
Oh! That explains it! My memorys perfect thank you very much.
America!

America,
Unlike your spelling.
Canada, who you are related to and who thinks this proves that your memory sucks, because how the heck do you forget your relatives? Honestly.

Canada
Theres nothing wrong with my spelling. I spell fine!
America (who wouldn't mind forgetting England once in a while, because seriously, let the fairies take care of it is NOT a good plan for dealing with terrorists)

America,
Keep telling yourself that, bro.
Canada, who's going to have to have a talk with England

Canada
WHY would you WANT to?
America

Dear America,
Want to what?
Sincerely, England

England
Noooooothing.
America

Dear America,
With you, it's never nothing. Come on, now, tell me.
Sincerely, England

England
I WOULD tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. o.O.
America

America, my sweet,
Please do kill him. It's his turn to bring the refreshments next meeting.
Love, France

Dear America,
As if you could kill me anyway. You can't even manage to kill your "emoticon" habit.
Sincerely, England

France
Oh shit. We really do gotta off him while we have the chance!
America

Dear America,
The only question is how to go about doing it. Poisoning would be ideal and hard-to-trace, but we usually use my darling Angleterre's food to poison people, and we already know that my darling Angleterre is immune to it. Finland is unlikely to cooperate in any of our attempts, and no one else
concocts confections quite so lethal to tongues, good taste, and vital signs.
Love, France

France
Maybe we can threaten Finland into
Actually no, I changed my mind. Sweden is scary.
America

America,
I thought heroes didn't get scared.
Canada

Canada
This doesn't count. Have you SEEN that guy?
America

America,
Yes. I'm pretty sure he can't see me, though.
Canada

America, Canada, and France
May I please have my notebook back? I want to write some of this down, aru!
Sincerely, China

China
Lighten up old man. It's just Germany going on about stuff nobody wants to hear. WHO CARES about Volvo?
America

China,
I'm sorry! I would give your book back now, but America won't let me.
Canada

Canada
Your such a WUSS.
America

America—
!I! care about Volvo.
—THE AWESOME PRUSSIA

Prussia
How did you even get in here?
-Switzerland

Switzerland—
By being AWESOME, that's how.
— THE AWESOME PRUSSIA

Prussia
Get out.
-Switzerland

Switzerland—
Make me.
—THE AWESOME PRUSSIA

Prussia
I will.
-Switzerland

Switzerland—
You and what army, Slow 'n' Neutral?
—NOT A STATE THAT POSSESSES AN ARMY, BUT AN ARMY THAT HAS CONQUERED A STATE

Prussia
I have a top-notch rifle and excellent aim.
-Switzerland

Switzerland-
No one is shooting anyone, especially not Prussia. If anyone shoots him, I'll have to spend the next several years sorting out the relevant paperwork. Stop passing notes and listen to Sweden when he's talking.
-Germany

West—
Hey, if he wants to tangle with the awesome Prussia, let him. And you know you love your paperwork. You love it almost as much as you love your awesome brother.
—THE AWESOME PRUSSIA
P. S. HOW is anybody supposed to do THAT? NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK SWEDEN'S SAYING.
P. P. S. Except maybe Finland, but I'm not asking him to translate. He's, like, five whole seats away.
P. P. P. S. Goddammit. I'm talking like Poland.

Prussia-
Make an effort or I'll make you leave.
-Germany

West—
Try and I'll get the entire Eurozone to ban hair gel.
—THE AWESOME PRUSSIA

Prussia-
I'll make you get your own house.
-Germany

Dear Prussia,
You can always come live with me. We'll have so much fun together.
Love, France

France—
I would, but can you just picture West without my good influence? He'd probably sit around writing letters to newspapers and telling kids to get off his lawn.
—THE AWESOME PRUSSIA

AWESOME PRUSSIA~
No, that's Switzerland.
~North Italy

North Italy—
I think you might be on to something. Obviously Switzerland's the source of all our problems here. After all, he's the one who keeps threatening to shoot me. Me! Guess he just can't handle my AWESOME. We should probably eliminate him or something.
—THE AWESOME PRUSSIA

Prussia,
If Switzerland were eliminated, you would certainly face severe punishment. An international incident would be assured, and a World War would not be at all unlikely. Conversely, if you, a non-nation, were eliminated, the world's governing bodies would breathe a collective sigh of relief and I could rest assured that my throw pillows were avenged. Think carefully about your choices, and please avoid doing anything foolish.
Sincerely, Austria

Austria—
Unlike your ugly throw pillows, I'm too awesome to be eliminated!
—THE AWESOME PRUSSIA

Prussia,
I could make a very cruel remark right now about how you have been eliminated more than once. In fact, I believe I shall. One of my citizens ordered your dissolution more than seventy years ago. It may have been the only good thing he ever did. Alas, you were later permitted to call yourself a country again, albeit under a different name. However, that government, too, ceased to exist approximately twenty years ago, and your lands and people passed to your brother. You stuck around out of sheer contrariness, but for all practical purposes you have indeed been eliminated.
Sincerely, Austria

You bastard—
Low blow, man. You're just jealous. SCREW. YOU.
—THE AWESOME PRUSSIA

Dear Prussia and Austria,
*hopeful*
Love, Hungary

Dear Hungary,
Perhaps if he bathed beforehand.
Love, Austria

Austria—
Hey, my hygiene is awesome!
—Prussia

Dear Austria,
We should *give* him a bath.
Love, Hungary

Dear Hungary,
I approve of this idea. Why don't you get started right now?
Love, France

France-
Maybe because WE'RE IN A MEETING.
-Germany

Dear Germany,
You are the only one who cares about the meetings. I think that this is probably because you are sex-deprived. I volunteer to remedy this, right after Hungary, Austria, and Prussia have finished the aforementioned bath, which I intend to observe and possibly participate in.
Love, France

France-
The activities you are proposing are unhygienic under the best of circumstances. Everyone is to keep his or her clothing on at this meeting on pain of pain, which will be inflicted by me with great prejudice. Everyone will sit still and pay attention to Japan, and France will get his hand off my leg. Thank you.
-Germany
P.S. In addition, you will all stop passing notes.

Dear Germany,
Don't be ridiculous. Nothing is more hygienic than baths!
Love, France

Everybody—
That's it, I'm outta here.
—THE KIND OF CREEPED OUT PRUSSIA

Dear France,
Damn.
-Hungary

Dear Hungary,
Someday, ma chérie. Someday.

Yeah, France and Hungary are creepers. In other news, Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead. Thank you for your time and reviews.

Bonus points for telling us who came up with the army-that-has-conquered-a-state quote. No, seriously, we want to know.