To Have a Home

Lily had caught up with Severus right after Professor McGonagall told them to get in line for the Sorting. He was with a group of some scary-looking kids, in Lily's opinion, and they all looked down on her when she approached him.

"Hey, Sev, I couldn't find you." she said breathlessly from running to him.

"Yeah, sorry, I just caught up with my new friends over here." he said, glancing back at them. They sneered at her.

"Why are they looking at me like that?" she murmured warily.

Sev shielded her and glared back at them. "It's nothing. We're just anxious about the Sorting."

"Do you still want to be in Slytherin?" she asked him as they trailed into the Great Hall, "Because I heard some things about it that weren't all that great - "

"Lily!"

Lily looked around and saw Dorcas calling her name. She was waving her over to where her, Alice and Mary were standing - she was also studying Severus with a slight grimace. Lily glanced back at Sev and shrugged apologetically.

"See you around." she said, and gave him a quick hug before hurrying off to where her friends were standing.

"Abbot, Geoffrey!"

Severus turned back to where his friends were standing - Rosier, Avery, Mulciber and Wilkes. They all smirked at him and he stared back coldly.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Just because she's a Muggle-born - "

"A Mudblood." Mulciber corrected with a sneer.

"Allen, Alby!"

Snape locked his jaw and continued, "It doesn't mean that she's not just as powerful as we are."

"RAVENCLAW!"

Avery leaned forward. "Try saying that to the Dark Lord."

All the Wizarding World had heard of him vaguely, but only some were aware of his true power. These four boys were some of them. Snape hadn't actually met the Dark Lord yet, but he heard that Bellatrix Black and Rodolphus Lestrange had. Snape knew that the Dark Lord's power was only going to rise and anyone who thought it wouldn't was a fool.

Severus was smart beyond his years. And with that knowledge, he deduced that the Dark Lord was the winning side in a war that was surely upon them. Though Snape knew he was not as devoted as some of his peers were surely to be, he knew which side he was on. And it was the winning side - it was the only logical way to survive.

XXX

Lily had gotten sorted into Gryffindor, and she knew Severus wasn't happy about it, but she was. All three of her new friends were in Gryffindor, and the only bad thing was that those four ruddy boys were in their house, too (and of course that Severus had gotten into Slytherin. She didn't know how she felt about those people he was hanging around with. . . .). Sirius Black had scooted over for her, but she'd turned her back to him immediately. Lily was laughing with Mary when she caught someone staring at her. When she looked up, thankfully, it wasn't Potter, but it was Simon Smiley, if she recalled correctly, and he'd been sorted into Hufflepuff. She'd had to supress a giggle at his name. When he caught her eye, he winked and Lily blinked in surprise. He must've been pleased with her reaction because he smirked and turned back to his friends.

Lily grimaced and turned back to Mary. "Why are all these boys so annoying?"

Mark laughed. "My mum says that's life's golden question."

They both laughed and then Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster, stood to make his speech. Lily was immediately impressed by him - he had the authoritative air to him, but his eyes were twinkling behind his half-moon spectacles, like he remembered what it was like to be a kid, too.

"Hello and welcome!" he said, "A new year at Hogwarts has finally begun. Before we gratefully stuff ourselves, I have a few words of wisdom: never tickle a sleeping dragon. That is all. Thank you!"

Lily stared, and then she laughed along with all the other students. Then, the food appeared on the table and all of them started to eat like there was no tomorrow. Lily's eyes caught James and his friends eating like madmen, seeming to eat and pile more food onto their plate at the same time. It was rather sickening, so Lily looked away.

After they had their fantastic meal, it was time to go to their common rooms. As they stood from the tables and started the slow exit from the Great Hall, Dorcas came up beside her.

"Hey, who was that guy you were talking to before the Sorting?" she asked quietly.

Lily glanced at her and frowned at her serious expression. "My friend, Severus Snape. We've been friends since . . . well, before Hogarts. Why?"

"It's just he was hanging around some sketchy people," she said, and both their eyes fell on the five Slytherin boys. "That's Mulciber, Avery, Rosier and Wilkes. They're all equally nasty."

Lily looked back at her. "How do you know all this?"

Dorcas shrugged. "My parents work for the Ministry and they have loads of connections. They're Aurors."

"What's an Auror?" Lily asked as they finally made it out of the Great Hall.

"They're the law enforcement, I suppose - they catch Dark Wizards and such. You know that one wizard who's causing a lot of trouble these days? Volde-something, I forget his name. But that's what they're working on now. He's killing a bunch of Muggles and stuff. It's actually quite horrendous."

A bolt of worry went through Lily. Killing Muggles?

"Do you think my parents will be okay?" she asked meekly.

Dorcas looked at her, seeming caught off-guard. She gave her a sympathetic smile. "Yeah, Lily. I think they'll be okay. The Auror's will catch that nutter in no time, don't you worry."

The prefect led them to the portrait of the Fat Lady, as Lily heard it was called, (which moved, mind you, along with all the other portraits. Dorcas and the other two girls had to drag Lily along to keep her from stopping and staring), and they stopped before it.

"Password?" she asked stoically and Lily stared in astonishment. A portrait was talking. A portrait was talking.

"Pheonix feathers." the male prefect - Ferdinand or something - said importantly.

The portrait swung open and they all stepped through to the cozy Gryffindor common room. A female prefect stepped forward and started to lead the girls up one of the staircases to the girls dormitories.

"Hey, Meadowes!"

The four of them looked back and saw Sirius Black - and the other three trouble-makers - standing there, grinning.

"Meet me outside after curfew for a snog, eh?"

Dorcas gaped at him and was about to tell him off when the female prefect intervened. "Hey - Black, aren't you? Go up to your dormitory and shut it. You aren't going to get any girls that way."

Sirius smirked back to his friends and they went up to the boys dormitories as they were told. James attempted a wave at Lily but Sirius had rolled his eyes and pulled him upstairs out of view before she could see. The female prefect rolled her eyes and started leading the girls up the staircase again.

"My name's Marlene McKinnon, by the way. If you ever need help with them, you can get me," she offered, then added with a chuckle, "But you looked like you were pretty fine on your own."

The other four girls laughed with her and they finally made it to their dorms. Lily, Mary, Alice and Dorcas picked one together, and they immediately plopped onto their beds, exhausted.

"I'm so tired, I can't even open my eyes again." Alice murmured, already dozing off.

"I'm not . . . that tired." Dorcas yawned, dozing off as well.

"Shut . . . it." Mary mumbled, already asleep.

Well, Lily for one couldn't sleep. She was finally at Hogwarts, what she'd been dreaming about nonstop, and, with or without Petunia, she was going to make the best of it. She finally felt like she was somewhere she could be herself and not worry about not being able to use her magic or hold back.

She'd found her second home.

XXX

James promised himself ever year that Lily Evans would love him by the end. And, of course, every year, he failed.

It was a fact widely known around Hogwarts that Lily Evans hated James Potter, and that the only thing he felt in turn was adoration. It was, of course, not the only widely known fact, but one of the many that the rest of the Hogwarts student body witnessed almost everyday.

It was obvious, practically from the first day James saw Lily, that he was in love. Or, as much as an eleven year old can be in love. It was also obvious that from the moment Lily saw James' arrogant smirk and the moronic way he ruffled his hair, that she quite frankly loathed him. It had always been a rather odd predicament - a rather tough predicament, for both parties (including each of their friends).

For example:

"Lily, will you go to Hogsmeade with me?"

"No, Potter."

"Please?"

"Go away."

"Why not? It'll be fun."

"I would rather go for a swim with the Giant Squid, endure Peeves' obnoxious chanting, and have to stay awake through one of Professor Binn's lectures, than have to go through a day listening to you talk about yourself and mess with that bloody hair!"

". . . So you'll think about it?"

Yes, it had always been like that - James asking Lily out, and Lily rejecting him.

That is, until that one day in fifth year.

It got even worse.

It was a couple days after OWLs, when the Hogwarts students were about to get their break for summer. The Evans Episode, as the Marauder's dubbed it.

Perhaps the only thing James, Lily and Snape mutually thought in that moment was this:

There couldn't have been a worse way to end the year.

Though it was painful, for all three, The Evans Episode was a significant moment for each of their relationships with each other.

For Lily and Severus, it was the end of their long, complicated friendship. It was very difficult for Lily to go through, especially when summer came and she had to endure her sister's pestering for four weeks, before her parents took pity of her and allowed her to visit her friend Dorcas for the rest of the break. It was perhaps even more difficult for Severus, though, who now had no one to turn to when he couldn't bear the sound of his parents screaming anymore or when he just needed a friend - and Lily was his only true friend. And he lost her, because of one word.

If he could take back anything in his life. . . .

For James and Snape, their relationship worsened more than ever before (up until that point), and that was all there was to it. In Snape's eyes, James was to blame for the end of him and Lily's relationship (which he had desperately hoped would evolve to something more), and for that he would never forgive him. Nor would James ever forgive Snape for calling Lily a Mudblood. It was so inconceivable to James, that someone would betray their friend like that, only because their pride was wounded. James was even more tense with Snape for what he called Lily, and, if school had not ended only a week after, there most likely would've been a long string of pranks pulled upon poor Severus. Of course, James had somewhat provoked The Evans Episode, but, how James saw it, he had finally shown Lily Snape's true colors, and for that she should be grateful to him. At least, that was what he kept telling himself.

And for Lily and James, it was even more troubled than before. Lily was furious at James for doing such a thing, and, when she screamed at James that one night before school ended, he seemed to have finally gotten the picture that maybe he wasn't right in what he did, and that maybe him and Lily wouldn't be together after all. . . .

Lily walked hurriedly towards the Gryffindor common room - there as only five minutes to curfew, and she'd lost track in the library, where she'd been studying like a mad woman for her Herbology, which she'd forgotten she'd had an exam in the next day. Who had an exam after OWLs and during the week before school ended? Well, apparently there was 'still much about Herbology to learn', but Lily (until she was forced to next year) couldn't really care less about plants. She also had to do rounds that night, as she was a prefect, and, to top it all off, she was almost positive she wouldn't get any sleep that night.

Lily Evans was not in the best of moods.

She rounded a corner and slammed into someone unexpectedly, her books falling to the ground. She opened her mouth to apologize as she bent down to get them, but then -

"Evans! I've been looking all over for you!"

Lily froze and looked up into the eager face of James Potter and she felt her face become cold.

"Leave me alone, Potter." she said as she gathered up her books stiffly.

"Listen, I just wanted to explain why - "

"I don't want to talk about it." she insisted as she started walking.

"But I just - "

"Leave it, Potter!" she hissed as she tried to keep composure. He trailed after her.

"Please, Evans, just let me - "

"For Merlin's sake, do I really have to spell this out for you?" Lily exclaimed, unable to take it anymore. She stopped and whirled on him, her eyes ablaze. "My friendship with Severus, no matter how unstable it was, is ruined because of what you did, and even though he called me what he did, none of it ever would have happened if you weren't there to start it! Don't you understand? I blame you!"

Lily hadn't meant to be so harsh. She was just angry and frustrated with the whole situation, with Severus, with Potter. She just couldn't take it anymore. And she was already having a terrible night for God's sake.

James stared, at a loss for a moment. "Lily . . . I am so - "

"Forget it," she murmured, her voice hoarse now. "I have rounds and I'm already late. Have a nice summer, Potter."

XXX

Lily sat in the Great Hall the next morning, trying not to fall asleep in her oatmeal. Mary patted her shoulder worriedly.

"Lily, are you still awake? You're eyes have been closed for a solid five minutes now."

Lily took a deep breath and looked at her three best friends concerned faces. She cleared her throat. "Yeah, I'm fine, guys. I just had a rough night."

"Oh, were you studying for that Herbology exam?" Alice groaned, "I'm sorry I told you last minute, I thought you knew."

Lily stared at her oatmeal and spun her spoon in it. "Yeah, that."

To her utter disappointment, Lily felt more guilty than she was bargaining for with the whole James thing. She had been harsh, but hadn't she been just as curt in the past? No, it wasn't the same, and Lily knew it. But she couldn't afford to get all sentimental with Potter now - it'd throw away five good years of dedicated loathing. Besides, she still thought he was an arrogant toerag. But maybe she should apologize. . . .

She'd told the girls about their run-in earlier that morning, and, of course, they all were suspicious that a certain boy with the worst case of bed-head had to do with why Lily was so upset.

"Lily. You just fell asleep in your oatmeal."

Lily snapped her head up and found she had oatmeal on her cheek now. She hastily grabbed a napkin and wiped it off, starting to chuckle despite herself. Her friends started laughing along with her, but still looked worried.

"Look, you go back and get some sleep, I'll explain to the Professors." Dorcas insisted.

"But - "

"Do it, Lily. Give yourself a break," she demanded, "Besides, it gives you more time to study for that exam."

She couldn't argue with that. So Lily gathered her things, thanked her friends, and started walking out of the Great Hall. But she couldn't help but notice James Potter staring at her from his place further down the table.

She met his gaze and contemplated whether to give him a nod - but decided against it, and looked away, walking out of the Great Hall.

XXX

"I'm really sorry, mate." Sirius said after the Marauders had heard the explanation of why James was so horrifically down. He was still shaken by that night before when Lily went off on him - he'd never seen her so angry. And to think he caused it. . . .

James never realized how much he truely cared for Lily until that moment. He'd hurt her, and he had to make it up to her. He had to make it better, or he would never forgive himself.

"James? Hello, you still with us?"

James looked up and saw Sirius waving a hand in his face. "Get a hold of yourself, mate. It's time for class."

He nodded and they all stood to walk to Transfiguration. James stared out the windows as they passed them and tuned out his friends joking. He couldn't get Lily off his mind, and he was afraid he would never be able to unless he apologized.

"James, for Merlin's sake, stop being such a Debbie Downer!"

"I'm not being a Debbie Downer!" James frowned, looking to his exasperated friends.

"Prongs, if you really want to make things right, go apologize." Remus said.

"I tried, Remus." James sighed, "And then she nearly bit my head off."

"You're just going to have to wait until she cools down," he reasoned, "but until then, you can't keep letting it eat you. It's not healthy."

"And Happy James is a lot more fun than Sad James." Peter added.

"Hear, hear!" Sirius agreed.

"And I'll help you, once we get back to school," Remus offered, "Lily and I are pretty good friends and I'm sure I could convince her to hear you out."

James wrinkled his nose. "But I'll have to wait all summer."

"You have to make some sacrifices, my friend." Sirius said, clapping him on the back.

James sighed. "Alright. Thanks, Moony."

And James promised himself he wouldn't make his friends have to cheer him up every five seconds anymore. He'd be Happy James until he could apologize next year.

Then, maybe . . . Lily Evans would love him.

No, probably not. But maybe Lily Evans would forgive him.