Cupid
Dorcas had always been torn between James and Lily. James being like her brother and Lily being her best friend - but she'd always managed to have time for both. She never got in the way of their relationship, though, for a couple reasons. 1. frankly, it was none of her business, 2. it was sort of amusing, the way they constantly bantered, and 3. it was way too complicated anyway.
But Dorcas for one thought it was sort of getting out of hand. James had liked Lily for five years for Merlin's sake.
That was just sad.
And Dorcas knew the two of the would be perfectly compatible if only Lily would give him a chance. So Dorcas decided it was time to play Cupid. She just had to mature James up a little, and get Lily to loosen up a little. The annoying part was that she couldn't do it by herself - she had to have help (dedicated help, because it was probably going to take a long and treacherous time) from the other side, too. In other words, one of the Marauders. She immediately ruled out Peter - he was too daft to help, to be frank, and she ruled out Sirius as well, just because the prick hit on her twenty-four/seven (along with almost every other girl in the school). So that left Remus, which was perfectly fine with Dorcas. She liked Remus, and she was pretty sure he would help.
So when the girls found their compartment on the Hogwarts Express going back home for summer, Dorcas excused herself nonchalantly to begin her plan. She knew Remus, as a prefect, had to patrol the corridors first - information she'd gathered from a special source . . . okay, information from Lily - so she looked around for him, and it didn't take long. He had his hands in his pockets and was whistling softly as he walked along with that sullen Gertrude Parkinson. How she ever managed to become a prefect was beyond Dorcas.
Remus seemed surprised to see her and he nodded to her. "Dorcas," he greeted her, "What's going on?"
"I need to ask a favor." she said nervously. What if Remus wouldn't help?
"We need to finish our patrol, Meadowes." Parkinson droned.
Dorcas glared at her. "Fine. When's your patrol over?" she asked Remus.
"Nine." he replied, looking at her warily.
"Brilliant. Meet me in the empty compartment down the corridor at nine. It's kind of important."
Remus frowned. "Is everything alright?"
"Yes, yes, I'll explain later."
"Alright." he said uncertainly, and him and Parkinson walked off again.
Dorcas sighed. She had a feeling she was in way over her head here.
XXX
At the end of his patrol, Remus walked quickly toward the compartment at the end of the corridor, extremely curious at this point. Dorcas seemed a bit anxious. He was halfway there when he ran into Sirius who'd been buying candy from the candy lady. Padfoot grinned and clamped him on the back.
"Hey, Remus, your patrol's over now, right?" he asked and didn't wait for a reply, dragging him down the corridor. "So James and I have this brilliant idea for the beginning of the year prank next year - a stupendous idea, even, and - "
"Hey, Sirius, I actually have to do one more thing before I go back." Remus interrupted him before he took him all the way to the other side of the bloody train.
Sirius stopped and frowned. "More prefect stuff?" he guessed.
"Well, er, not exactly." he said uneasily.
Sirius raised his eyebrows and waited. But Remus didn't know if Dorcas would want him to tell Sirius - Sirius annoyed the living daylights out of her.
"I'm sort of supposed to meet Dorcas right now." he admitted.
Sirius seemed shocked. "You and Dorcas? Alone?"
Remus nodded, not seeming to understand what Sirius was insinuating.
Sirius gaped at him. "But - you - I - you and Dorcas?" he repeated.
Remus frowned. "What's the big deal? She just wants to talk."
"Oh, yeah, talk I bet," Sirius scoffed, seeming a bit too indifferent. "'Talk'. Right. Snog, is what you mean. Moony, you know that I - "
He cut off abruptly and Remus felt a smirk creep onto his face. "You what, Sirius?"
He cleared his throat. "Nothing, nothing. Not important."
Remus chuckled. "You know what? You can come, if you want, just to make sure Dorcas and I don't 'snog'."
Sirius brushed off his clothes nonchalantly. "Well, if you insist."
Remus snorted and the two made their way down the corridor again. Moony eyed Sirius amusedly, knowingly fully well what his friend was going to say before he cut off. Sirius had cared for Dorcas almost as long as James fancied Lily - Sirius just covered it up rather than blatantly letting the whole school know his feelings. Sirius had adopted the reputation of 'man whore' quite willingly, and Remus knew why. Obviously, to cover up his feelings for Dorcas.
Remus slid open the compartment door and found Dorcas already standing there, looking out the window. She turned upon the sound and she made an expaserted sound when she saw Sirius.
"Aw, Remus, really?" she exclaimed as he closed the door.
He shrugged. "He caught me coming down here. And unless this is about him, I don't see why he can't be here." he pointed out.
"Well, it's not, but - " she cut off and sighed, looking to Sirius' smirking face. "Fine. But don't go blabbing to James about this, got it?"
"Why are you directing that to me?" Sirius scoffed, plopping down on the bench.
"Because I trust Remus with this, and not you." she said.
"Well, what is it then?" Sirius said mockingly.
Dorcas took a deep breath and looked between the two of them. "I have a plan. It might be a little far-fetched, and I don't really know how to do it yet - that's where you two come in - but . . . "
"Yes?" Remus prompted.
"I want to get Lily and James together."
There was a moment of silence.
Sirius looked to Remus. "Did she just say what I think she said?"
"I think she did." he said, nodding.
"What?" Dorcas exclaimed defensively.
Sirius looked to her exasperatedly. "Meadowes, do you have any idea how long we've been trying to do that? It's useless, Evans would never give him a chance. What's with the sudden change of heart anyway?"
"I've always thought those two were right for each other, but I never got involved, because it was none of my business," she said pointedly, "but I think it's gotten a bit out of hand here, with what happened with Snape and all."
"The Evans Episode." the two boys chorused absentmindedly.
She gave them a look. "You named it?"
They shrugged.
She sighed. "Look, if we want them to be happy, I think this is what's best. But I can't do it alone. I need you guys to help me."
"Well, we've pretty much tried everything. We even tried locking them in a room together last year," Sirius scoffed, then made a face. "That didn't end well."
"That's why we're going to do this a little more subtly than that," Dorcas said, rolling her eyes, "and I think we should just play it by ear, take every chance we have to get them alone together. She'll have to see James is a decent bloke eventually, right?"
"Well, she hasn't for five bloody years." Sirius muttered, shifting in his seat.
"Shut it, Padfoot," Remus said distractedly, and then to Dorcas, "So, what are you planning to do first?"
"Well, Lily doesn't really get on too well with her sister and she usually jumps at the chance to stay with me over the summer. I could invite her over and then pretend my parents are bringing us along for a visit to the Potters."
Sirius frowned appreciatively. "Not bad."
She shrugged. "It's a start. But you two have to help. Tell James not to act like such an arrogant, obnoxious bastard."
They paused.
"Well, that's sort of how he is - "
"There's nothing we can really do about that - "
"Just try!" she snapped, "I have to go now, or the others will get worried. And don't tell James!"
"Wait, do the other girls know?" Remus asked before Dorcas could leave.
She rolled her eyes. "You kidding? Those two couldn't keep it from Lily to save their lives. They both get too overly excited about romance and all that."
With that, Dorcas left, leaving the two boys alone. Sirius grinned and rested his hands behind his head.
"What Meadowes doesn't know is that I'll probably be at Prongs' house, too." he noted smugly.
Remus chuckled. "Well, now you'll make sure to be there, won't you?"
But Sirius didn't seem to be listening anymore - he gazed out the window and dropped his hands into his lap, quiet for a moment.
"Yeah, I was thinking of making a change anyway."
Remus furrowed his brow, but decided to leave it, stepping out of the compartment and letting Sirius alone with his thoughts.
XXX
Lily tried not be down as she chatted with her friends on the way back home, but there were too many things bugging her. One of them was James, to her annoyance. Another was Severus, and another was having to go back home and deal with her sister for three months. Lily dreaded the thought and had to suppress a groan. Petunia's nagging really got old, and no matter how much Lily tried to stay out of a fight, it always seemed to turn into a screaming match.
"Lily? You alright?"
Lily looked up to see Alice and Mary gazing at her worriedly.
"You've been awfully quiet the whole ride." Mary noted, and right then Dorcas returned from wherever she'd been, sitting down opposite of Lily.
"Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind," Lily replied with a sigh, "I'm not exactly looking forward to putting up with Pertunia this summer."
The three girls looked at each other and Dorcas finally said, "Lily . . . why don't you come stay with me this summer?"
Lily met Dorcas' gaze and she immediately noticed that her best friend had some ulterior motive. She always had this certain glint in her eye when she did - but Lily figured it was just some new adventure she'd drag Lily on, and so she contemplated the offer.
"Well, I think I should spend the first month with my parents," Lily finally replied, "but I would love to for the last two months, if that's alright with you."
Dorcas grinned. "That's perfect."
Lily cheered a bit after that, and the rest of the ride was spend laughing and gossiping about certain nothings - Lily found herself slowly healing from what had happened only a week and a half before. But she still felt her relationship with Severus was unresolved, and she dreaded the day that they'd have to confront each other.
XXX
"A boyfriend?" Lily repeated, making a face. "Who would want to be in a relationship with Petunia?"
"Lily." her mother scolded from the front seat of the car.
"Sorry." she muttered.
"Trust me, when you meet Vernon, Petunia will seem like a fluffy kitten full of sunshine." Dad said with a snort and Mum smacked his arm.
"Zachary!"
"You know it's true, Marie. The boy's a nightmare!"
"Is he really that bad?" Lily said in surprise. She'd never heard her Dad talk so badly about someone.
Mum pursed her lips. "Well, he is rather . . . opinionated."
"That doesn't sound good," Lily muttered, "Well, have you told Petunia what you think?"
"Of course not," Dad said as they pulled into their driveway. "Tuney's madly in love with the bloke and she'd slap anyone who would try to talk her out of it."
"Can't wait to meet him." Lily said sarcastically, sighing and stepping out of the car, trunk in hand.
She looked up at her white boarded house with the familiar sunflowers blooming in the front. She smiled softly and followed her Mum and Dad up the steps to the front door.
"Vernon's here now," Dad muttered to her as he fiddled with the keys, "So just be prepared."
Now Lily was a bit nervous. "Alright then."
The door opened and Lily stepped inside, her parents following, and she set her trunk on the steps before she started walking towards the kitchen. She heard the TV on in the connected living room and she peered around the corner and saw the back of her sisters head and another unfamiliar head that was twice as big and that had a head of brown hair with way too much gel in it.
Lily didn't know which head of hair annoyed her more - Vernon's or James'. Lily took another looks at the amount of gel in his hair. Yeah, probably Vernon's.
"Petunia?" Mum called, "Your sister's home!"
"Great," Petunia muttered, then leaned over to Vernon. "Don't worry, the school has her under control, she just has random acts of violence some - oh, Lily! How lovely to see you."
Petunia had turned around and noticed Lily standing there a moment too late. Has her under control? Random acts of violence? What on earth did she tell Vernon about her?
Finally, Vernon stood and turned around, giving Lily a full view of him.
It wasn't a pretty sight.
He already had a receeding hairline and his shirt was most obviously too small for his obtuse stomach. He seemed to be permanently pink in the face and had the tiniest beady eyes Lily had ever seen. He looked at her with a condescending smile.
"Hello, Lily. So nice to finally meet you." he said almost mockingly.
"You too, Vernon. I've heard so much about you." she said with a matching smile, in a tone that suggested it was not good at all.
"And I of you." he replied with pursed lips.
There was a moment of tense silence.
"Kids! What do you want for dinner?" Mum called from the kitchen.
"Pizza would be preferable, Marie." Vernon replied, and Lily couldn't believe he talked ot her mother that way.
Then, Lily was struck with an idea. She clenched her fists and did her best to redden her face.
"But I want your lasagna for dinner, Mum." Lily said in a shaky voice.
Petunia looked at her in alarm and Vernon looked rather startled.
"What was that, honey?"
"I said, I want you lasagna for dinner, not pizza!" she exclaimed.
"Lily, what is the matter with you?" Petunia said with a grimace, leaning into Vernon.
Vernon patted Petunia's shoulder and pursed his lips at Lily. "It's alright, Petunia, let's just give the troubled girl what she wants. She obviously can't control her problem yet."
Lily smirked. "Thanks, Vern. That's so kind of you."
"Don't call me Vern, please." the pudgy boy said through clenched teeth.
Lily shrugged. "Sorry." she said nonchalantly.
Vernon gave her a sneer before she sauntered off into the kitchen, where she could tell her parents were doing their best not to laugh.
XXX
Dear Lily,
My parents said it was fine for you to come Saturday, like you wanted. We could meet in Diagon Alley and then floo back to my house at noon, if that's good for you. My parents love you, by the way, they can't wait to see you.
I just have to say, what you've been doing with Petunia and Vernon is hilarious! You, going to a school to help with anger management? Good grief, that's ridiculous! And the fact that you're calling him Vern and he hates it had me laughing for a solid two minutes, just so you know. It almost sounds like something a Marauder would do . . . not that that's a bad thing.
So anyway, I hope you're making the most of humiliating your sister. Write back if our arrangement for Saturday works. See you soon!
Dorcas
After reading the letter, Lily quickly wrote back her agreement and sent it off with Dorcas' owl, Chubbs (who had gotten his name precisely because he was a bit chubby). Lily thought over Dorcas' letter again, and, though it'd never crossed her mind before, what she was doing to Petunia and Vernon did seem like something a Marauder would do. It almost made her want to stop. . . .
Almost. Not quite.