Only If the Giant Squid's Unavailable
Dear Lily,
I could never begin to tell you how sorry I am about that day, a month and a half ago now. It is my greatest regret. Although I take half the blame, Potter is also a culprit of this disaster, and for that I will never forgive him. But if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I would be forever grateful. I know I don't deserve it. I just need you, Lily, because you were my one true friend - the one I could turn to whenever things got bad at home or whenever I just wanted to be with you, because you were like . . . sunshine. You were the only thing that I ever looked forward to, that I actually cared for. And I ruined it with one word. I would take it back if I could.
I suppose you should know why I care so much about you when I know it seems I care for nothing else. The reason is, I've been in love with you for years now - since before Hogwarts, and it has never ceased, never wavered. And it never will.
If you could ever find it in your heart to even forgive me as a friend, I would be the luckiest human alive. I just need you in my life, Lily, or I'll surely die . . .
Severus Snape wrote letters to Lily he'd never send all the time. Without being able to talk to her, it was a resourceful outlet, and he always found what he needed to say easier when writing rather then talking, anyway. He often wondered when he would be able to talk to her again, or if she would ever allow him to. He gripped his quill as he thought of Potter again, the cause of this whole nightmare. He would make him pay, if it was the last thing he did.
His parents' screaming grew louder from downstairs and Snape squeezed his eyes shut.
No, Potter didn't start the nightmare. Snape's life was already a nightmare to begin with - Potter just made it a whole lot darker.
XXX
The adults had gone into the dining room to eat and talk about political affairs while the teenagers stayed in the kitchen, where they were currently helping themselves to the delicious meal Mrs. Susan made. The girls had almost snuck upstairs to eat, but at the look Mrs. Natalie gave them, they decided to stay with the boys in the kitchen. Lily supposed it wasn't that bad - the two of them were rather funny when they weren't being so immature.
"Now, watch carefully," Sirius said melodramatically, and carefully lifted his spoon to his nose and balanced it there. He raised his hands in victory, his eyes cross-eyed as he looked at the spoon. "Ha-ha!"
"Oh, that's easy! You just do a sticking charm!" Dorcas exclaimed, flicking the spoon off his nose.
"No, no, I can do it without magic!" Sirius protested.
"Oh, yeah?" Dorcas challenged, crossing her arms over her chest. "How exactly?"
"You just breathe on it, and - " Sirius stopped at the smirk Dorcas was giving him, and Lily suppressed a laugh. "Hey! You tricked me into giving away my secret!"
"Well, it was simple enough, I just wanted the pleasure of tricking you. We can't use magic outside of school anyway, nitwit, remember?" Dorcas said smugly, spooning some mashed potatoes into her mouth.
James laughed and high-fived her. "That's right, Sirius, take it like a man!"
Lily laughed, too, and soon the four of them, instead of eating, started to try and do the trick on their own, except when one of them would finally get it, another one of them would knock it off. It was a tiresome cycle. Lily had managed to successfully keep hers out of danger for a solid five seconds when Mrs. Susan walked in with some plates. She stopped and looked at the teenagers, her mouth slightly open.
"Kids, what on earth are you doing?" she finally asked, and they all turned to look at her.
"Oh, nothing, Mum. Just something Sirius taught us." James explained, trying again to get his spoon on his nose.
"I see," she chuckled, "Well, eat your dinner before it gets cold. You've barely touched it!"
"Yeah, okay. Don't even think about knocking it off, Lily, I finally made it stay!"
"Oh, and I believe there's someone here you might want to see." Mrs. Susan said with a smirk, stepping aside.
In the doorway stood Remus Lupin, looking a bit tired, but other than that, perfectly well. "Why, hello there," Remus said upon seeing the two girls, "Wasn't expecting to see you two here. Ever, really."
"Yeah, my parents dragged us along," Dorcas explained as she ate hurriedly, and Remus sat down. "It's a pain putting up with these two."
Mrs. Susan laughed. "I'll leave you kids alone. Ice cream's in the freezer when you're done."
When James' mum left, Sirius immediately went for the freezer without a second thought, slapping Remus on the back as he went.
"Trust me, I know," Remus replied to Dorcas as he sat down, "They can wear you out, you know? Like you're their mum!"
"Just wait until you hear about Sirius' spoon trick." Lily said, rolling her eyes, "We spent a good ten minutes on that topic."
"My God, you ladies are lucky that I am here to keep you sane." Remus chuckled.
"Will you stop talking about us like we're not here?" James snapped and dug a spoon into the ice cream, wrinkling his nose.
Lily did not think it was cute when he did that. . . . at all. There was another perfectly logical explanation as to why she blushed faintly when he did so.
Remus grinned at him. "You're glad I'm here, admit it."
James glared at him, forking a piece of meat into his mouth and chewing angrily.
"Wow, you look so ferocious right now."
"Shut it, Sirius."
XXX
"Well, have you finished it? Let me see." Remus said excitedly as the boys hoarded into James' room later that night.
"Yeah, we finished it a week ago," James said, getting the Map out of his sock drawr. "You can check over it to see if we looked over any glitches or something."
"But we didn't." Sirius added as James gave the Map to Remus.
"We just want to make sure it's perfect, Sirius." Remus said distractedly, opening up the parchment.
"And it is." he said, smirking.
The two ignored him and they all looked over their creation: the Marauder's Map.
"Hey, wait. Where's Peter?" Sirius asked, frowning.
"He wrote me yesterday," Remus replied, "He said he's coming tomorrow."
"Great, he can look at it, too." James noted.
"Gentleman," Sirius announced, wrapping his arms around both of them and grinning. "This is the start of a whole new beautiful level of pranking for us and the generations to come."
Remus snorted. "Filch'll be thrilled."
James grinned. "Maybe we can finally pull a fast one on Mrs. Norris. I'd really just like to get a good kick in there before we leave."
They all laughed and then looked down at the Marauder's Map again, beaming.
Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs
Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers
are proud to present
The Marauder's Map
XXX
"I think you're actually enjoying yourself. Don't try to deny it!" Dorcas laughed. She was in Lily's room for the time being to talk, and she grinned knowingly at her best friend from where she was laying on her back on Lily's bed, her head hanging upside down off the side.
Lily rolled her eyes as she brushed her teeth, glancing at her. "Okay, it wasn't as terrible as I thought it'd be." she admitted, leaning down and spitting in the sink. "But that doesn't mean I automatically like them."
"Yeah, yeah." Dorcas chuckled as Lily walked into the room and plopped onto the bed as well.
"I did apologize to James, though." she admitted quietly.
"Really?" Dorcas gasped, rolling onto her stomach.
"Yeah, and he apologized, too. That helped a lot. I mean, I don't see why . . . I don't see why we can't be - friends." she reasoned, shrugging.
Dorcas frowned thoughtfully. "Well, it's a start."
"Oh, by the way - I saw the way you were looking at Sirius at dinner," Lily said suggestively, raising an eyebrow. "And the way he was looking at you."
"What?" Dorcas scoffed, though her heart gave a lurch. "That's ridiculous."
"Nope, don't even try, I saw that look!" Lily exclaimed, pointing to her.
"Okay, alright, keep your voice down," Dorcas laughed somewhat nervously, "So maybe I have a tiny . . . fancy for him, but it's nothing big. It's not like he'd like me anyway."
"And why not?" Lily asked, miffed.
"One, he's a man whore. Two, he thinks of me as one of the guys. And three, he thinks I hate him."
"So act like you don't hate him! And he's only acting like a man whore because he's liked you all these years - it's obvious!"
"You know, this sounds a lot like your relationship with James," Dorcas pointed out with a laugh. "Except James has professed his love for you multiple times instead of resorting to drowning himself in the opposite sex."
Lily rolled her eyes. "Stop changing the subject."
"I already admitted I have a crush," Dorcas sighed, standing up and making for the door. "but there's nothing I'm going to do about it right now."
"But - "
"No, no, don't say anything more." Dorcas insisted, already halfway out the door.
"But, Dorcas - "
"No, I'm leaving now!"
"Dorcas Meadowes, just hold on a second - "
"Bye!"
And she closed the door and let out a breath, hoping Lily wouldn't come after her. With that thought in mind, she quickly made her way down the corridor, trying to remember which way to turn. No matter how many times she visited the Potter Manor, she always managed to get lost in the numerous corridors. It didn't help that it was almost pitch black in the house, either.
She made an annoyed noise when she ended up in what she knew was definately not the right place and turned around -
And rammed into someone. She yelped and squinted up at the person to see - of course - Sirius standing there, smirking.
"Going somewhere, Meadowes?" he asked.
She put her hands on her hips. "Actually, I was just . . . going for a stroll."
He rolled his eyes. "Sure you were."
"Okay, fine, I can't find my bedroom." she admitted hastily, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Right," he chuckled, and he grabbed her shoulders, turning her to face the hallway to her right. "That's where you're headed."
"Alright then," she said, blowing a lock of hair out of her face. "Hopefully I won't get lost again."
"Here, I'm headed that way, too. I'll show you the way."
Dorcas looked at him warily, trying to sense if this was a prank or not, but she didn't get a joking vibe, so she shrugged. Then, as they started walking, she felt his fingers brush hers and he slipped his hand into hers, causing her to slightly flinch.
"Relax, Meadowes," he chuckled. "Just making sure you actually find your way this time."
She nodded even though he couldn't see her and tried to get a grip on herself. It wasn't like her to get nervous around boys - hell, she was practically one of them. She had to calm down.
Finally, near the end of the corridor, Sirius stopped and she almost slammed into him again.
"Here's your stop." he said, and she nodded, smiling tightly before she turned towards the door.
"Oh, and Meadowes?"
She turned towards him and again but found he was much, much closer this time, his face mere inches from hers now.
He half-smiled. "Goodnight." he murmured, and then turned, walking down the hall and out of sight.
Dorcas paused for a moment, her eyes wide, and then fumbled with the doorknob, finally enetering her room. She shut the door and leaned against it, trying to get her heartrate down.
"Get a hold of yourself, Meadowes," she breathed, "He annoys the hell out of you, remember?"
But she didn't really believe it anymore. And the sad part was, she was ready to accept it more than she was willing to admit.
XXX
"Alright, folks, let's have a fair, clean game here. No fouls or any of that rubbish. Got it? Good."
Since the ball was the next day, the teenagers - including Peter, who had finally arrived two days ago - decided to get their hands a little dirty with a Quidditch game - or play as best they could with two people on each team, which pretty much just meant beating the Bludgers around - before they had to endure the prissy, ignorant Ministry party-goers for only Merlin knows how long. Well, everyone was playing except Lily and Peter, who'd decided to be the 'referees' instead. They decided to stay out of the game, considering they weren't exactly the most gifted when it came to sports. Lily had never even been able to get her broomstick to fly into her hand in first year, so she just decided it was best to watch and referee best she could.
After James' little speech, he, Sirius, Dorcas and Remus flew into the air, and Lily and Peter sat down on the grass of the Potter's humongous backyard. It shouldn't even be considered a backyard, it was more like a field with incredible landscaping and fountains. It was ridiculous, how gorgeous everything on James' property seemed to be.
"I think Quidditch is kind of boring myself." Peter spoke up, glancing at Lily.
Lily was surprised. She'd never talked to Peter or had any communication with him, really, until this moment. She'd always thought he was kind of creepy - but he didn't seem that way now. He seemed pretty decent.
"I never could play, so, to tell you the truth, I've always just kind of pretended to hate it," she admitted, chuckling, "but it'd be nice to be able to at least fly a broomstick. I never even got mine to fly into my hand in first year."
"Me neither!" he exclaimed, grinning, "And James and Sirius wouldn't let it go for about the whole bloody year. That was awful."
Lily wrinkled her nose. "Yeah, that sounds like them."
Peter paused, glancing up at James before taking a deep breath. He hoped this worked. He'd never really done something so bold before.
"Lily, I'm going to tell you a story about James - "
"Peter, really - "
"Please, just listen," he pleaded, "I've always been to embarressed to tell it, but I'm hoping this'll help you see what a brilliant bloke he is."
Lily hesitated but then nodded reluctantly. Peter looked off into the backyard, his mind going back through the years.
"In first year, when I first got on the Hogwarts Express, I was late. I was hurrying through the corridors, trying to find an empty compartment, and then I accidently ran into a group of Slytherins. You know, Snape, Mulciber - that group - " Lily's hand clenched but she nodded. " - and they started to pick on me. It was really hard for me - I had always been the odd man out, and to have my first experience - not even at Hogwarts yet - be bullying, well, it was tough. But before they could really do anything to me, I heard someone shout, 'Hey, leave him alone', and it was James, of course, and he threatened to curse them if they didn't let me go. They laughed in the beginning, of course, but then James actually did curse the sorry blokes and then scurried away - luckily a prefect wasn't around. James brought me back to his compartment and he welcomed me into his group for some reason I still don't understand. I was finally a part of something, and it's because James allowed me to be.
"James has always been a loyal friend, Lily, and if you should be able to admit anything decent about him, it's that."
Lily looked over at Peter and he seemed lost in thought, but then he glanced at her and smiled. She smiled back.
"Thank you, Peter," Lily said, then chuckled, "It seems like all the forces in the universe want me to go out with James Potter."
"But only if the giant squid's unavailable, right?" Peter asked, perhaps the most witty thing he'd ever uttered in his life.
Lily laughed out loud, remembering her words from last year. "Well, I never said I'd actually go out with him, Peter," she reminded him, "it's going to take more than all the forces in the universe to get me to go out with Potter. He's going to have to prove himself, too, and stop making other people do it for him."
Peter paused. "Can I tell him that?" he checked.
She laughed again. "Go for it. I just really don't think - "
"Hey! That was a foul! Was that not a foul, you two?"
Lily and Peter looked up to see Sirius pointing his bat accusingly at a smirking Dorcas and glaring down at them.
"Erm - we weren't exactly looking." Peter admitted.
"But you two are the referee's!" Remus laughed, flying over to the scene.
"She hit me in the head with the bat!" Sirius exclaimed, his arms flailing to make his point.
"Er, we'll let it slide with a warning," Lily said importantly, the muttered to Peter, "Is that even allowed? I don't really pay attention at the games."
Before he could respond, Sirius made a big show of pouting, but they resumed the game.
"Aw, don't be so down, Padfoot, Sirius-ly." James said, holding back sure laughter.
"Enough with the PUNS!"