Thanks:

MissPhilippinesSuperStar: Yup John still loves Austin. Let's see just how much he loves her shall we?

Peppermint Princess: Long time no see! Lol. I've been busy enough and Taker wants me attention too as well. Ah he keeps me busy :-X its hard being married to a dead man sometimes lol.

"Hello?" "John?" Austin says timidly into the phone she clutches tightly in her hands. "Hey baby." He says and automatically she goes to shaking. He doesn't know but he's making this ten times harder for her with that one line. "I'm sorry about earlier Austin." "I'm sorry too John." "Listen Austin we don't have to get married. I mean if you want to there's always the future. It's just that I love you so much and I hate being away from you. You're my rock Austin….I'm rambling again. What I'm trying to say is…I'm sorry for trying to rush you into something you don't want to do." He's fighting with his words again. She always thought that was cute. He'd get excited and everything he wanted to say would come out at once.

"Um John." She bit her bottom lip. This will be the hardest thing she'll ever have to do. "You are a beautiful, loving, loyal person. It's not you, it's me….but I don't think this is going to work John." She can hear him gasp over the phone. "Austin. Whatever it is. We can work through it. Look what we've done so far baby? I've become sober, I'm not cheating anymore. "John…I can't." "Why Austin? Can you please just give me a reason?" "I'm sorry John I just can't do this. I'm sorry I wasted so much of your time. Please forgive me for it. Goodbye." He was protesting as she hung up the phone. She turned on her stereo and sunk down the wall to crouch against it on the floor. Tears started streaming down her face as she sang along with Blue October's song 'Hate Me'.

I have to block out thoughts of you, so i don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face
And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted space

(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah in ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

(Verse 2)
I'm sober now for 3 whole months, it's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing that I won't touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I'll never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

(Verse 3)
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I have made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling make it go away,
Just make her smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"

(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you