Author's Note: Thanks again to all my pals for their support. Just to let some of you know, I won't be throwing in any special cameos. Every cast member is a racer here. And no, there will be NO commentators for the race.
I got an interesting e-mail a while back, asking me if I would accept any fanart for GR. Well, sure. I really don't mind if you guys wish to submit fanart for my story. I wasn't expecting it at first, but you're more than welcome to submit anything to me, and if I like it, I'll post it up on mediaminer or deviantart.
Disclaimer: Nothing, absolutely nothing belongs to me. All characters belong to their rightful owners respectfully. No profit is being made out of this story, please don't sue.
…
Chapter Two: Penguins Can't Fly!
…
As the race began, the Numa Numa Guy rode along in Drift, waving his arms and lip-synching along to his signature piece of music.
"I have to admit, this music is very catchy." Drift commented.
The Numa Numa Guy stopped lip-synching and said: "Well, how can just about every Internet user in the States be wrong?"
…
Megatron pursued Optimus Prime along the slippery highway, trying to blast him off the road. Judge Doom was frustrated that they couldn't get a clean hit, especially when their target was pulling a huge trailer behind them. Why his weasels couldn't even get a scratch on Optimus was beyond him. Perhaps it was all because of the luck from the Autobot's practically perfect driver: Mary Poppins.
"Can't you even aim right, you nitwits?" Doom scolded his minions. "She's a sitting duck!"
Another huge blast from Megatron's cannon…and another miss by an inch. Optimus predicted hefty fines from the Japanese government with all the damage Megatron was causing on the highway already. Yet he remained calm, with Mary Poppins offering her guidance to him.
"That last explosion was pretty bloody close." Michael said.
"Watch your language, Michael." Mary replied in a firm voice, keeping her eyes on the road. "Remember to behave yourself."
"Doom means to kill us, Mary Poppins." A frightful Jane said. "I don't want that to happen."
"Not to worry, Jane." said Mary unconcerned. "Be a brave girl and we'll pull out of this just fine."
Meanwhile, inside Megatron…
"Hey, Judge." Smart Ass said. "Why don't me and the boys get in touch with our other pals taking part in this whole Gumball thing? Maybe THEY can help us wipe that old-fashioned bag out of this race."
"Very tempting." thought Doom. "If you want to win a race, you gotta wipe a few old ladies off the track. Speaking of course…Mary Poppins."
…
Hubs raced along at high speeds and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were enjoying the race. Just an hour into the Gumball Rally, Michelangelo had finished gulping down a dozen bottles that he had recently grown addicted to.
"Whoa, dudes! This milkshake stuff is great." he said, slurring his words. "I feel weird, though. Real loosey-goosey."
"Where exactly did you get that stuff, Mikey?" a concerned Raphael asked.
"From that store we stopped at back there. The dude says it's from some brewery in the north of Hokkaido. I thought it was weird that they'd do beer and milkshakes in the same factory."
"That's because that's no milkshake. It's bilk. Beer and milk IN THE SAME DRINK!" Donatello exclaimed, after checking the bottle's label.
Michelangelo let open a loud hiccup. "You mean I've been underage drinking? Totally sorry man!" he grinned sheepishly.
"You'd better hope Master Splinter never finds out." said Leonardo. "He'll never let us watch 'Superbad' again."
"Well, guys, at least he's not driving." Hubs joked. "He'll probably have a hangover, though."
Michelangelo thought for a minute and an idea struck him. "Ya know, this would be a great way to get adults to drink more milk."
…
At the Kamui Ski Links in Asashikawa, several families were enjoying the winter sports on this wonderful snowy occasion. Suddenly, they screamed and dived out of the way as Icepick rode right through the middle of a ski course, followed closely by Slayride, who was trying to overtake him.
"MOVE, YOU GODDAMN OVERGROWN SNOWCONE!" Santa Claus yelled at Bad Mr. Frosty, honking his horn.
"Eat my snowballs!" Bad Mr. Frosty extended his middle finger at him. "Lose this moron, Icepick!"
"No problem." Icepick made a sharp turn around a corner near an embankment.
Slayride couldn't stop himself in time and drove over the edge of the embankment, falling down a steep hillside.
"You stupid tin can!" snapped Santa as they went out of control.
"Hey, don't forget who's doin' all the work here." replied Slayride.
They reached the bottom and drove right into a large snowdrift. Slayride started to use his lasers to melt the snow.
"I hate the winter!" said Santa Claus. "Especially when I have to be Mr. Goody-Good Gift Bringer."
"Aw, shut up!" said Slayride. "We'll be out in no time…"
Suddenly, Sizzle flew overhead and went by so fast that a sonic boom was caused. A fresh avalanche of snow buried Slayride.
"…or not."
"That'll teach old Beardy to bring cheer at Christmas!" sneered the Grinch as he piloted Sizzle. "Even if he doesn't any more, it's the least he deserves for 1000 years of all that noise, noise, NOISE on Christmas Day!"
Max whined a little.
"You want to win this or not!" the Grinch snapped at his dog.
…
The Wet Bandits left the Otokoyama Sake Brewing Museum, each taking a drink out of a souvenir bottle of sake.
"Haah. This is the life, huh, Marv?" said Harry.
"Yeah. I never thought I'd find a drink better than beer." said Marv.
"Okay. Break time's over. Time to get back to the Gumball."
The two of them climbed back into Gren.
"Okay, you guys! Hold onto your butts!" Gren said as he started up and drove off through the Asashikawa traffic.
"HEY!" snapped Harry as he grabbed the steering wheel. "Let me take the wheel first!"
As they raced through the city, Cosmos flew above them, piloted by E.T..
"This weather's really playing havoc with my directional sensors." said Cosmos. "Just hold on tight."
E.T. nodded as he pushed on one of the control joysticks.
"Careful! I think we're going down!"
Cosmos was right. They started to take a dive down towards the city.
"Uh-oh!" panicked E.T., waving his arms frantically.
He fought with the controls to try and bring Cosmos back under control. As the UFO Autobot flew low, he buzzed over Gren, making Harry get distracted and lose control. Gren veered from side to side and crashed through a series of police cruisers parked in front of a coffee shop. E.T. finally got Cosmos under control and flew back into the air.
"Phew, that was close!" said Cosmos in relief. "You may want to 'phone home' and double your travel insurance."
As he flew off, a police officer was writing a citation for the Wet Bandits.
"I swear! It was that flying saucer that distracted us!" said Harry.
"Yeah! And it wasn't really us driving! It was the truck here! It's really an alien robot!" said Marv.
The cop looked at the two of them sceptically and then noticed the sake bottles in Gren's cab.
"So, we were drinking sake. What does that prove?" asked Marv. "We had some beer a while back and it hasn't affected us!"
Harry angrily slapped the back of Marv's head. "Shut up, you idiot!" he hissed through his clenched teeth.
As this was going on, some of the citizens of Asashikawa had noticed Cosmos flying above the city. Everyone stared up in awe.
"You see, it's aliens!" Marv pointed up to the sky, right before the Transformer vanished into the clouds. "I knew the US government lied about Roswell!"
"Marv, since when did YOU know anything about Roswell?" Harry huffed.
Nearby was Trailbreaker, with Agents J and K riding in him.
"Looks like our buddy Cosmos has some admirers." said Trailbreaker.
"Oh, great." said J sarcastically. "Looks like we'll have to do our stuff."
"Is it really necessary?" asked Trailbreaker. "I mean a lot of people know about us and the Decepticons."
"Sorry, slick. But it's our job to." said K as he and J stepped out of Trailbreaker.
"Excuse me, folks!" J announced through a megaphone. "Could everyone look in this direction, please?"
The bewildered crowd turned to look at Trailbreaker and the MIBs.
"Is Cosmos gone now?" asked K.
"Yep." replied Trailbreaker.
"Okay, here it goes!"
J and K took out their neuralizers and activated them. The citizens were briefly stunned by the brief flash of light, and then forgot what that they had seen.
"Okay. Let's vamoose." said J.
…
"Welcome to Asahikawa, class! The coldest city in Japan!"
Ms. Frizzle's class gazed curiously out of their windows. On the left, they witnessed RoboCop stuck in a tangle between Greaseball and CB. On the right, Cobrabreast was in fierce competition with Scowl. Lock, Shock and barrel noticed the school children in Overhaul and pulled mean faces at them.
"I knew I should have stayed home today." Arnold Perlstein said, regretting every moment of this dangerous race.
Meltdown and Half-Track rammed beside Overhaul and the children screamed when their eyes met with Professor Coldheart and his lackey, Frostibite.
"Hello, kiddies!" Coldheart honked his horn rudely. "Did ya miss me? Why not take a ride with me and-"
Liz suddenly leapt onto his face, obscuring his vision.
"HEY! Who turned out the lights?"
Coldheart lost control of his vehicle and Frostbite was forced to take the wheel. The children just laughed at the hilarious situation.
The struggle crossed roads with the Autobot First Aid, who braked forcefully to let the Transformers pass them by. But unfortunately, this made Dr. Nikolas Van Helsing accidentally plunge his unsterilized syringe into Dr. Doug Ross' back, who so happened to be the driver.
"OW!" Ross cried.
"Sorry about that." Van Helsing laughed casually. "Accidents happen, you know, even to a doctor. Here, let me get that for ya."
He removed the syringe, and Ross immediately felt his legs go numb, then his hands, and soon his whole body. His foot leaned on the accelerator and the ER team were speeding like never before…much to their dread. Cars, cyclists and motorcyclists swerved out of their way.
Deathborn, in his Decepticon Watchdog, jetted his vehicle off the road and landed right over First Aid, taking lead against the ER team. He smirked, before leaving them in the dust.
…
While Drift continued to race along, the Numa Numa Guy was now lip-synching to a techno version of Rockwell's 'Somebody's Watching Me'. Drift showed off his fancy driving moves in time with the music.
The Numa Numa Guy was impressed. "I see what that friend of mine meant about drifting being dance moves for cars."
"Just be glad it's not the Macarena we're doing." Drift replied.
…
Pulse and Stormbringer were riding hard through the rivers of Hokkaido, with the Rulon warriors Rasp and Hammerhead pushing each for all they were worth.
"The Gumball Trophy is mine!" hissed Rasp as he piloted Pulse. "Who needs Krulos and his wretched army? I will become famous and powerful and take this worthless planet for all it's got."
"Not if I beat you first, you filthy backstabber!" sneered Hammerhead as he came alongside. "You wait until Krulos hears about your treachery."
"Rotten teacher's pet!" snarled Rasp, swerving Pulse over to brush against Stormbringer.
"Hey, watch it!" yelled Stormbringer.
Suddenly, the huge Snaptrap overtook both Decepticon boats. He caused a huge wave whilst passing and Rasp and Hammerhead battled for control of their Transformers.
"Hah!" sneered Reeka. "We left those twerps far behind us! We could have a good shot at winning this!"
"Oh, you're being all positive now, huh?" asked Draggle. "You could hardly steer when we started."
"TAKE THAT BACK!" yelled Reeka.
"Make me!" Draggle shoved her sister.
"Why you..."
"KNOCK IT OFF!" Hydia ordered as she steered Snaptrap. "Keep that up and you'll be eating ice cream very soon."
"Sorry, mama." said Draggle.
Hydia tensed.
"WHAT did you call me?" she said threateningly.
Draggle gulped. "Sorry, Hydia, I didn't mean to call you 'mama'." she said nervously.
"You better not have." Hydia warned her, and then revealed an evil smile. "This is a great boat ride."
"Yeah. Pity it's not on the Smooze." Reeka said. "That was a fun ride."
Both Hydia and Draggle turned blue and said: "We DON'T want to talk about that!"
…
The Banana Splits and Mark Cohen were having great fun with Stylor. They had discovered the Hokkaido 'Melody Road' and were driving over it, creating the sound of the Banana Splits' theme song.
"Hoo hoo hoo!" laughed Fleegle. "This is great!"
"I bet you're glad you came to do a documentary on us now, huh Mark?" asked Bingo.
"I haven't had this much fun in years, guys." said Mark. "Can you do 'Seasons of Love' as well?"
"Hey guys, I think we should just keep going. Time's a-wasting, you know." said Drooper.
Snorky honked in agreement.
"Hold on tight!" said Stylor as he floored it. "I'm doing it for the ladies! I bet they'd love it if a gorgeous guy like me could win this race!"
"You have an ego the size of Mount Fuji, you know that, Stylor?" said Mark.
"Let's watch some TV!" Fleegle activated a TV monitor on the dashboard.
Adventurous music started to play.
"Oh-oh, Chongo! It's 'Danger Island' next!" said Bingo.
…
"I'm freezing my nuts off here." Conker whispered under his chattering teeth.
"Uh…like we really needed to know that." Berry said sarcastically. "At least Mr. Nutz isn't complaining about the weather."
"No, really." Conker said, opening his bag full of frosted acorns that he had saved for the trip. "My nuts are freezing up. We haven't got anything to eat."
"That's disgusting, Conker." Mr. Nutz said repulsively. "Who would ever want to eat your nuts?"
They were startled when Scrat leapt himself onto the windshield, his tongue drooling for Conker's nuts.
"AAAAH! WHAT IS THAT THING?" Berry screamed. "GET IT AWAY!"
"It's after my nuts!" Conker said, covering his precious acorns between his legs. "I won't let that thing nibble on my nuts!"
"Hoist, do something!" Mr. Nutz shouted.
Hoist activated his windshield wipers, and with one swipe, disposed of the prehistoric squirrel. Fortunately, Scrat landed safely on Clutch, reuniting with his racing partner, Sid the sloth.
"There you are, buddy!" said Sid. "Thought we lost you there for a minute!"
Scrat sighed in defeat. His attempt to gets his hands on Conker's nuts had failed.
…
"Faster, Dion!" shouted Bloo at the top of his lungs. "FASTER!"
On the outskirts of Obihiro, Bloo and the gang were trying to lose several other Gumballers on their tail: Lilo and Stitch, Calvin and Hobbes, and not terribly far behind, the Madagascar Penguins.
"We'll be the laughing stock of Foster's home if we ever get beaten by a group of penguins, let alone in a snowcat!" Wilt said. "Let's put that pedal to the medal."
Frankie floored it, but still couldn't outrun the Madagascar Penguins, who were simply waving their fins at her as they passed with ease.
"Just smile and wave, boys!" The Skipper said.
…
Somewhere in Daisetsuzan National Park, Goku and Vegeta were being pursued by Frieza, Cell and Kid Buu on their flying Decepticons.
"Die, worthless Saiyans!" Frieza cried, firing Dirge's lasers at Hyperdrive.
"Goku, we need to shake these idiots off our tail." Vegeta said.
"Already on it." Goku pressed a switch on the control panel. "Take 'em down, Hyperdrive!"
Hypderdrive launched three heat-seeking missiles locked at Dirge, Ramjet and Thrust.
"Lose them!" Cell ordered his Decepticon.
"Pipe down, you overgrown bug!" Ramjet spoke back.
The Decepticons flew around constantly until the missiles collided with each other.
"So these Decepticons aren't that dimwitted after all." Vegeta smiled with delight, crossing his arms. "I think I'm going to enjoy this race."
…
"Ah…at this rate, winning the Gumball should be a breeze." Franklin Sherman sipped his Bourbon whiskey, reclining his seat. "Wouldn't you say, son?"
Jay Sherman gave a puzzling frown. "Um, Dad. If you're here, then who's piloting Powerglide?"
"Good question." Franklin said. "Allow me to check."
He went to knock at the pilot's door and stepped inside. He could only gasp when he found Pingu sitting on the pilot's seat, staring back at him with a silly smile.
"A penguin?" Franklin exclaimed, sighting an empty bottle of gin on the control panel. "And he's been drinking!"
"Nook-nook!" Pingu chuckled with a red face.
"Wait a minute, penguins can't fly…" Franklin pondered to himself. "…PENGUINS CAN'T FLY!"
At that moment, Powerglide went to a harrowing drop. Franklin frantically grabbed control of the aircraft, with Pingu frightened as ever, spurting out gibberish and embracing the old gentleman's head. Powerglide flew uncontrollably past snowy mountains, barely getting hit…but only out of sheer luck.
Slingshot and Cloudburst happened to be in close proximity and their partners were able to receive Franklin's distressing radio signals.
"HELP! Somebody please help!" Franklin's voice cried through the speakers. "Our plane is out of control and our pilot's a penguin!"
Pingu continuous gibberish could be heard in the background.
"No, I will not pray with you!" Franklin rejected.
Jeannie and Spyro looked at each other confused. ToeJam and Earl checked the hamburgers and drinks they recently bought from Mos Burger, wondering if they somehow caused hallucinations.
"Well, that's the last time I eat corporate food." Earl said, tossing aside his half eaten hamburger. "Let's stick to the local stuff."
…
"Call me a son of a bitch." Nick Fury dropped his cigar when he, Lander and Sergeant Rock were overshadowed by the presence of the Novaroid.
Professor Chaos and General Disarray followed the elusive Dash, who was always one mile ahead of them.
"Ha-ha-ha!" Chaos cackled against his rivals. "Tremble in fear! You still convinced now that Dash is gonna kick our asses?"
"No, but maybe we can." said the voice of another Autobot.
Disarray pointed at Treds, firing his cannon at the Decepticon spaceship. Chaos nearly fell but was saved when Disarray grabbed his cape. Hardhead and Basher joined Treds as the young super villain got pummelled with blasts.
"Is that all ya got, wussies?" Chaos taunted, until he heard a rumbling noise.
Behind them, the humongous Big Bang and Big Red whizzed past at tremendous speed, knocking Novaroid off course.
"AW, HAMBURGERS!" Chaos cried.
…
"Look out!"
Samurai Jack warned Edmund and Lucy Pevensie as they narrowly avoided attacks from Jadis and the Emerald Witch. However, Jack himself had to tangle with Aku, and it wasn't easy.
"Be still, Samurai Jack!" Aku hissed as Skyhopper fired another missile.
Jack sprang out of his vehicle, leapt to the sky and sliced the missile in half, causing it to explode in mid-air. This only made Aku clench his fists in rage.
…
In the small town of Shiraoi, Felicia tried not to panic when she saw Pyron and the Phobos behind them in the mirrors.
"(Good girl, Clipper.)" Nakoruru said. "(Keep it steady now.)"
Her eagle, Mamahaha, kept Scorponok distracted as it swooped left and right across his sight. This disorientated the Decepticon and made him drive off the road and ram into a coniferous tree. Angered, Pyron fired two cosmic balls at his enemies.
Ingrid saw the balls closing in on them and used her psychokinesis to hold them back, but the force overpowered her quickly. She was helped by miracle, when JuJu appeared and shot a giant fireball from his mouth, destroying Pyron's attacks completely.
"Thanks, JuJu! We owe you one!" Felicia waved.
Detective James Carter witnessed the scene nearby. "Hey, Lee. Would you believe me if I told you that I just saw a chimpanzee, riding on a motorcycle, spitting out crazy projectile shit out of his goddamn mouth?"
Lee just shook his head in disbelief.
…
"So let me get this straight." Akiro Aino sighed under breath. "You actually want me to believe that you two saw a giant chicken and a naked guy in underpants flying Autobot planes? And you're telling me that they're heading my way?"
"Yes!" Dino and Mite said simultaneously through the speakers.
"HA! Fat chance! Nobody can outrun Acid Storm. And if you two start making up stories again, I'll come back there and blast you both to bits!"
Akira was interrupted when Captain Underpants whizzed right past her…
"B'GAWK!"
…followed by the clucking Chicken Boo. She fell speechless, as her face turned blue and a sweat drop ran down from her hair.
…
Above the sulphurous volcano pits of Hell Valley, Noribetsu, Mach was stuck right in the middle of an air battle.
"One…two…three…four…five Transformers!" Count von Count laughed in delight as he watched the Scavenger chase Kon-El and Kara Zor-El (aka Superboy and Supergirl), and Iron Man and War Machine take on the Mandarin. "I love counting, it's so fun! Ah-ha-ha!"
Toaster and the gang were already bored stiff with the Count and his obsessive counting, which he had been doing since the start of the race.
"Anybody want to switch seats with me?" Lampy said.
…
The underworld rulers were having their own cutthroat battle in the air as well. Mephisto and Blackheart, father and son, worked together to take down Neron and his cronies, Satanus and Blaze.
"Hell isn't big enough for both of us!" Mephisto shouted, launching two missiles at Neron's Decepticon.
"I concur!" Neron performed a ninety degree incline, barely avoiding the attack.
…
The Alien drove Full-Tilt as fast as he could go, trying to outdistance his mortal enemy, the Predator, who was driving Brunt.
The Predator took aim with Brunt's cannon.
"This guy's going to be really T.O.-ed with you, fella." said Brunt.
Using its small knowledge of Earth language, the Predator simply replied: "Shit happens."
It then opened fire on Full-Tilt. The Alien hissed, avoiding the fire.
Behind them was Deadwheeler, with Agents Mulder and Scully inside.
"Like I said, the truth is out there." Mulder watched the Alien and Predator begin to battle it out.
"Yeah, despite the MIBs trying to convince everyone otherwise." said Scully.
"You sound like you have an idea there, Scully." said Mulder.
"I do indeed." replied Scully, raising a brow. "What do you say we give these guys the slip while they're busy roughhousing? We'll easily gain a few positions."
"Be my guest." Mulder insisted.
Scully put her foot down and Deadwheeler sped past Full-Tilt and Brunt as the Alien and the Predator continued their battle.
"I just hope these morons aren't the ones that Cancer Man told us were going to invade." said Scully as the Alien and Predator failed to notice them passing by. "Because God, are they dumb."
The Predator had just pulled a face-hugger that the Alien had thrown off the front of
its helmet.
"Good job you were wearing your helmet or you'd have a breathing problem." said Brunt.
…
"Good evening, Sapporo!" Hannah Montana waved amongst her cheering fans. "Are you ready to rock?"
"YES!" The audience clamoured.
As Dewey Finn's band began to play, however, she couldn't help notice Blowpipe driving past behind the crowds, with Mikayla waving her hand out of the window. She was hoping to outrun Hannah Montana in the Gumball. But of course, Hannah couldn't let that happen.
Just when she was about to sing, Hannah ran off the stage abruptly and jumped into Landmine, removing her getup and beckoning Robby and Jackson back into their vehicle.
"C'mon! We got a race to catch!" Miley shouted. "Let's shake a leg!"
"Honey, what about your concert?" Robby said.
"Daddy, never mind! We've got a dozen more signed up in Honshu. Let's roll!"
Landmine drove off without a word of goodbye. Even more spontaneous, Dewey Finn and his band hit the road as well. The crowd sighed in disappointment, and amongst them was Ben and Gwen Tennyson.
'Well, that's the last time I go to another one of these cheesy Hannah Montana gigs." Gwen scrunched up her ticket. "Now enough of this garbage and let's get back to the race!"
Gwen dragged Ben back to Highjump, where their grandfather Max was waiting.
…
Browning was firing rounds of shells at Roadbuster as they were trying to beat each other to Sapporo.
"I'd love to see you fools try to beat me now!" yelled General Donald Morden.
In Roadbuster, Marco Rossi had taken control of their Autobot's machine gun.
"Eat this, scumbag!" he yelled, returning fire on Browning as he took heavy damage.
"Yeah! That's showing him, Marco!" cheered Fiolina.
Eri, Tarma, Trevor and Nadia fired their guns to help Marco, while Morden took this time to reload another shell.
"This should wipe the smiles off their faces!" he smirked. "You can fire it yourself, right, Browning?"
"It will be my pleasure." Browning said sadistically.
"Good. I'll add a little extra firepower." Morden climbed up through Browning's hatch with his rocket launcher ready. As he climbed up to prepare fire, an aircraft appeared behind him and trained missiles on his Decepticon.
"DAMN!" Morden yelled as he quickly climbed back inside.
"Typical." sneered Zorg, who was flying the Decepticon aircraft, Trannis. "Big dreams but weak-willed. This planet needs a strong leader."
"And it will get two of them when you and I win the Gumball, Zorg." replied Trannis.
Zorg fired his missiles at both Browning and Roadbuster.
"Hang on, guys!" shouted Marco. "I can handle this!"
Using careful aim, he was able to blast the missiles out of the air before they could hit.
"You've been playing your video games, Marco." Eri said impressed.
"Yeah, just a pity we have to save Morden's hiney as well." Fiolina said.
"Don't worry." said Trevor. "He still has a snowball's chance in Hell of winning."
"You got that right." Nadia agreed.
Zorg locked his aim at both ground vehicles.
"Easy you fool!" snapped Trannis. "We need to save some missiles for later!"
"Sorry." said Zorg sarcastically. "If only I had a ZF-1. I could really do some property damage."
"Those guns of yours are for wimps!"
…
Greaser sped through Sapporo, cutting through traffic like a hot knife through butter.
"YEAH! THIS ROCKS!" Zitz yelled on the driver's seat.
"I think you're causing a bit of a disturbance, bro." said Pimple.
"Hey, who cares as long as we beat those stupid Ninja Turtles!" Rash shrugged his shoulders. "We'll show them who's got the better video game!"
"Don't you mean the hardest one?" Zitz kindly corrected him. "The only reason my reflexes are this good at this speed is from going through the Turbo Tunnel a bazillion times!"
He drove so fast that the scenery became a blur and he turned hard corners with ease.
"Hey, guys. You think this bit will look great in theaters?" asked Rash.
"Sure." said Pimple in slightly sarcastic voice. "And it's in NO way gonna look like they just sped up the film."
The Battletoads laughed.
…
On the streets of Sapporo, Tyrannitron was catching up on Bisonbreast.
"I can beat that Decepticon scum sucker no sweat!"
"Easy, Tyrannitron." said Charlie Bucket. "We don't want to cause too much trouble."
Willy Wonka couldn't help notice it when they passed by the decorative Ishiya Chocolate Factory. "Charlie. Do you think that the chocolate factory could start its own brand of Pocky stick? Just that I try to find influences from all cultures."
"Possibly." Charlie thought. "Knowing you, they'd be weird flavours, though."
Suddenly, Bisonbreast's 'dump' container raised and dropped a huge mound of snow onto the road.
"That's not gonna stop me!" Tyrannitron slowed down and drove over the snow with his mighty treads.
"Whoo! Smashing!" Charlie smiled excitedly.
Once past the snow, Tyrannitron sped up and gathered ground on Bisonbreast again.
"I think we should let these scoundrels see we mean business." said Charlie.
"If you insist." said Wonka. "Fire one!"
One of the Oompa Loompas loaded a missile into Tyrannitron's cannon and fired it at Bisonbreast, narrowly missing him. In Bisonbreast, one of the Twins angrily kept a watch on Tyrannitron as another missile was about to be fired.
"We are getting aggravated." he said.
"Yes we are." agreed his brother.
"How do you think I feel?" snapped Bisonbreast.
Charlie took a lick of his hot ice cream cones Wonka had invented, while Tyrannitron continued to give Bisonbreast trouble.
"I think we'll soon leave these guys behind, wouldn't you say Charlie?" said Wonka.
"I hope so, although I'm curious." Charlie rubbed his chin. "Which do you want more out of the prize? The trophy or the gumballs in it?"
Wonka pondered for a minute and said: "The gumballs I guess. I could give Mr. Bannon some ideas on how to improve them."
"Thought so." Charlie rolled his eyes.
…
"Um sir, I think we have trouble." Rolly reported to Lieutenant Pug. "You better come look at this!"
Behind their tank was Cruella de Vil, accompanied by Jasper and Horace. Even worse, there was Katrina Stonehart, who apparently struck a deal with Cruella to help get rid of the mangy puppies trying to outrun her in the Gumball.
"This means business. Lock and load, cadets!" Pug ordered Lucky and Rolly to load the tank. "On my mark, get ready to unleash hell. Ready…aim…fire!"
Their tank fired, scaring the living daylights out of their pursuers. The Decepticons swiftly dodged the blast, which instead struck the Sapporo Beer Museum. Massive floods of beer gushed out, attracting a swarm of Japanese businessmen to dive into.
Cadpig and Spot saw the whole thing from above in their rocket.
"Spot…" asked Cadpig. "…you ever wonder how long it would take for a Japanese guy to go bananas after depriving him of beer?"
"Beats me." Spot shrugged. "I'd predict after a week, this place will be swarming with rabid monsters. If you ever watched that movie '28 Days Later', you'd know what I mean."
…
Ripper raced past Sapporo's Clock Tower, avoiding the constant blasts from Kang the Conqueror. Roadblock's siege tank form really helped them in this dire situation. But at this point, it was time for them to take flight.
"So long, Dreadwing!" Roadblock laughed, shifting into his spacecraft form.
"Oh no, you don't!" Dreadwing transformed into a B-2 Bomber, continuing the competition. "It ain't over yet until the fat lady sings!"
A few miles ahead of them was Fangry, with his partners Hunch and the Grand Duke of Owls.
"Incoming aircrafts, six o'clock, Uncle Dukey!" Hunch panicked.
The Grand Duke slapped him against the windshield. "I told you NEVER to call me by that name!"
…
Michael Bannon and Frank Drebin raced under the Sapporo TV Tower and sped across Odori Park. Shocked pedestrians leaped out of the way and Michael took caution not to hit anyone by accident…or damage any of the ice sculltures on display. Unfortunately for Drebin, however, he destroyed every sculpture that got in his way, and an old lady happened to fall onto the hood of his car.
Drebin almost had a heart attack when he saw the old lady's face flattened against the Keeper's windshield. The lady was furious and waved her walking stick angrily at the driver. Drebin switched on the wipers at once, wiping away the snowflakes and the old lady aside…only to be met ahead with an ice sculpture of an old lady, looking fearfully at his car right before she was shattered to pieces.
Michael couldn't help but grin as he watched.
"It's like what they say, Maccadam." he said. "If you want to win a race, you gotta push a few old ladies off the road."
…
A periscope surfaced in the middle of Lake Toya in Shikotsu-Toya National Park. Captain Nemo spotted Seaspray ahead of them and Scorpia behind them. Paddles had done well keeping the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen in the race, besides hidden deep beneath the sea.
"What do you see, Nemo?" asked Mina Harker, the team's leader.
Before he could answer, Nemo saw Hat launch Roboggu right across the lake. He quickly lowered his periscope as the flying egg passed them and smashed right into Olaf's face, just as he opened one of Seaspray's windows for a breath of fresh air.
"Olaf, what happened?" asked Erik, helping his stunned friend off the floor.
"I don't know." Olaf shrugged, half dizzy. "I was hit by that crazy bird."
He pointed at Roboggu, who was jumping around the vikings' hovercraft like a happy bunny.
…
Broadside flew across the ski resort in Niseko, with Sylvanas piloting him.
"Look down there, my Lady!"
Varimathras spotted the Lich King in Skullgrin, ready to aim fire at them with will. Sylvanas performed several three-sixty degree spins, creating donut clouds and making Varimathras so sick that he was forced to grab a sick bag.
"Damn that elf!" The Lick King grumbled. "Next time, Skullgrin, we shall have them!"
"Easier said than done." Skullgrin replied. "But you best look behind you."
The Lich King saw Brawl riding up a snowy hill, and could hear Hector Con Carne's unintimidating laugh inside him.
"Amateur." The Lich King shook his head.
…
Gearhead was making good progress for the famous Jamaican bobsled team.
Sanka Coffie was dying to have a look outside of his window. And in doing so, he almost wet his pants when the first thing he was greeted by was Iorek Byrnison's ferocious claw. The beast swiped his paw across his face, just missing it. Sanka frantically shut the window, shocked.
"What's the matter with you?" asked Derice. "You look as if you've just seen a ghost."
"There's some scary bear out there, man!" Sanka trembled in fear. "It tried to kill me! I knew I should have brought my lucky egg!"
Derice only frowned in disbelief. "Jamaican me crazy, you know that."
…
The Silver Surfer outran Eclipso and Quan Chi, only to be faced with Take-Off, where the grotesque race of aliens called the Brood were waiting inside. Victory Leo tried to stay well clear of the Decepticon, but Wildfly was near, accompanied with his partner Hexxus.
"AH-HA-HA!" Hexxus cackled. "Gotcha now, Surfer boy! You've got no place to hide!"
Victory Leo activated his booster jets, blasting away at a speed that neither Decepticon could match.
"Way to go." Wildfly said to his partner.
"I really must keep my trap shut." Hexxus thought.
…
"Out of my way, worthless witch!" Rasputin scowled at Samantha Stephens flying opposite him. "Don't think your hocus-pocus will help you claim the Gumball trophy! My powers are far greater than your baby spells!"
"Oh, really?" Samantha raised a brow, right before twitching her nose.
"Uh-oh." Bartok gasped as he noticed endless flowers sprouting out within their jet. "I really think you should take back your word, sir!"
Hydra was finding it difficult to pilot and soon the flowers blocked his sight.
Xia Yu Lan and Xia Yu Fan ignored the helpless cries from Hydra, Bartok and Rasputin as they flew past uncontrollably. They continued to focus their fire on Unknown, who was giving the twins a very hard time to overtake her.
…
Lavender Bertha wasn't impressed with Skalor as they sped across Lake Onuma. Despite being quite well ahead in the race, she didn't stop bossing around Cabbage Jack and Beau Weasel.
"Hurry it up!" Bertha exclaimed. "Chop, chop!"
"Calm down. There're hardly any Gumballers around this lake." Skalor said.
He was wrong, however. Jafar crept up behind them sounding his loud horn and knocked the boat sideways, and also knocking Bertha into the water.
"SAVE ME, YOU IDIOTS!" she shouted. "I CAN'T SWIM!"
"Should we help her?" Beau Weasel asked in doubt.
"Give her a while." Cabbage Jack chuckled, laying down for relaxation. "Let's see if the old lady can swim her way back here herself!"
Bertha sank to the bottom of the lake, landing right on top of Submarauder's windshield. This startled Dr. Ubermann immensely.
"Kerner!" he shouted at the German officer who had his nose stuck in a fashion magazine. "Look, there's an old lady crawling on our submarine!"
"HA!" Kerner shrugged without care. "As if I would believe that tall tale. Just like the time you said you saw our great Fuhrer skating on ice with a low-class midget in a bikini."
"That was true, I swear!" Ubermann defended. "I'd seen those two together in a relationship for six months, right until they broke up!"
Bertha knocked on the glass, desperate for air, but she was whisked away when she was caught by Seawing, passing right above Submarauder.
"It's like what they say, Griffith." Seawing said. "If you want to win a race, you gotta drop a few old ladies down the lake!"
…
As the first day of the Gumball came to an end and the moon rose high over the ocean, Drift prepared for his journey for Tohoku. Inside him, the Numa Numa Guy was now banging along to his 'New Numa' song.
"It's going to be a long night." Drift mumbled to himself.