Disclaimer: Nothing, absolutely nothing belongs to me. All characters belong to their rightful owners respectfully. No profit is being made out of this story, please don't sue.
…
Chapter Three: Picking Up Silly Objects
…
In the early hours of the morning, the Gumballers had succeeded in making their way to Tohoku, the next leg of the race across Japan. Leading the way was Prime Nova. Bugs Bunny was steering with great ease and was successfully avoiding the heavy fire that Elmer Fudd and Yosemite Sam were directing at them from Quake and Weirdwolf.
"Fudd! Stop 'em ya dad-blamed varmint!" Sam yelled while Elmer tried to get a steady aim with Quake's cannon.
"How about you get on the wight and I get on the weft and we bwast 'em together?" Elmer chuckled.
"Great idea! Let's do it!" Sam steered Weirdwolf up alongside the right side of Prime Nova and Elmer drove Quake up the left.
"Oh, brother. Here they come." said Daffy Duck. "I'd tell them it's rabbit season but I doubt they'd care."
"No worries, Daff." said Bugs Bunny. "Ol' Prime Nova here told me he can stop on a dime."
"He'd better!" said Daffy as he saw Sam leaning out of Weirdwolf's window, taking aim with his twin six shooters.
On the other side, Elmer swung Quake's cannon around to face Prime Nova.
"Weady...aim..." Elmer began.
"NOW!" yelled Bugs as he stomped on the brakes and let the two Decepticons overtake him.
"…FIRE!" yelled Sam.
He fired his guns at Quake while he himself took a blast from Quake's cannon.
Both men looked at their blackened faces in shock as Prime Nova honked his air horn and overtook them.
"I hates that rabbit!" grumbled Sam.
…
"So…the bat wants to play." The Joker spotted Batman in his rear mirror. "Time for some aggressive competition."
He floored Road Hugger, speeding across the highway, swerving past cars dangerously. Batman's group followed in hot pursuit with the help of Boss. The chase inadvertently ran into the Dinobots, where T-REX and Grimlock took the lead with Turok and Snarl not far behind them. Slag and Sludge, with Dink's and Littlefoot's gang, were constantly ramming against each other, hoping to knock each other off the road.
"Me, Grimlock, win Gumball!" Grimlock boasted. "Me get shiny trophy and become best Dinobot in the world!"
"In your dreams, moron!" Robbie Sinclair shouted.
"Who say that?" Grimlock demanded to know.
He had no idea that Robbie, Earl and Baby Sinclair were right above him when Swoop quietly flew past. Baby Sinclair couldn't help but chuckle and waved Grimlock goodbye.
…
In Morioka, Taria de Castillo was having a sword fight with Norman on top of Grand Slam. Lokos drove from behind, ensuring to be close in case Taria, his partner, would fall off. The fight dragged across the streets, getting into other Gumballers' paths.
"Hey, watch it!" Jack Twist swerved off the road, yelling at them.
"Get off the road, assholes!" Tommy Vercetti honked Sizzle's horn.
A few blocks away, Sinestro was relentlessly pursuing Kyle Rayner, aka the Green Lantern, who wouldn't give up. The cast from 'Real Monsters' and 'Gobliiins' fell in their path and were knocked off the road.
Yet beyond them was ANOTHER chase, with Arsene Lupin, a few inches ahead of Shinichi Kudo. Both of them ducked for cover when Henrietta and Triela fired their heavy machine guns at them from behind.
It was clear now that already, friction within the Gumball Rally was rapidly intensifying.
…
"Well, well, well." Conroy Bumpus couldn't believe who they'd cross paths with at the Shimokita Peninsula. "Fancy running into you two on this race!"
He and Lee Harvey were the two least people Sam and Max expected to meet faces with in the Gumball. Yet there they were, racing against them.
"Oh, jeez. Not him again!" Max moaned bitterly. "Lose these guys, Streetwise!"
Streetwise roared his engines, but Bristleback kept up to speed with him.
"Guess that didn't work." Sam said. "What do we do now?"
A mouse cursor appeared and commanded Sam to 'pick up' Bristleback.
"I can't pick that up." Sam replied.
The mouse commanded him again…
"No, really. I can't pick that up."
…again…
"Are you dense? I told you I can't that up!"
…and again…
"Read my lips. I…CAN'T…PICK…THAT…UP!"
…then finally…
"Oh, I give up." Sam sobbed, making Max most agitated.
"Now you've done it! You've broken Sam's spirit with your stupid attempts to pick up that silly object!" Max growled at Conroy Bumpus and Harvey, ready to pounce of them at any given time. "I'll teach you two not to upset my best buddy!"
"But…we didn't do anything." Harvey shrugged.
It was too late. Max leapt off Streetwise and onto Bristleback, causing a massive fight cloud.
…
Push-Button was getting concerned about his drunk partner, Lobo, who was more than overdrinking his Asahi beer bottles.
"Maybe you ought to cut down." The Autobot said.
"What the frag would you know about good quality beer?" Lobo answered back. "Just keep movin' and we'll win this race in no time!"
It took him a while to notice the Lemmings driving Retro and Surge beside him. It was hard to believe such little creatures could operate massive machinery for their size, and it made Lobo check the label on his beer bottle.
"On second thought…" Lobo threw his drink aside. "…I think I'll go for Kirin Beer on our next stop!"
…
Petunia tapped Lumpy on the shoulder and pointed up to the sky at the flying Auotobot, Graphy.
Nausicaä gripped Graphy firmly as she saw danger up ahead. Through the clouds, the Suzaku Seven and the Seiryu Seven were exchanging fire…and beyond that, so were the Doom Patrol and two members of the Rescue Heroes; Ariel Flyer and Rocky Canyon.
Nausicaä took a deep breath and glided past the Transformers without getting hit…and just narrowly escaping fire from the Blair Witch, who surprised her.
The Witch's fire hit Gunrunner's tail. Ernest P. Worrell lost control of his Autobot and he panicked, shouting out: "Help, help! May day! May day! Christmas Day! Colombus Day!"
Luck was on Nausicaä's side today…but she heard gunfire again and quickly dodged the flying missiles targeted at her. Just below her was Landquake, operated by HUNK.
"Let's see what you got, wind girl." HUNK said.
Nausicaä accepted his challenge.
…
In Aomori City, the Simpsons had got a lead and had decided to take a quick breather. Homer and Marge were currently in the local Karaoke U-Bo bar. Marge was sitting at her table, sipping a glass of sake as Homer was on the stage singing the song 'Loser' by Beck.
"He's actually quite good at that song, you know." Marge said to Macavity at a neighboring table.
"Yeah, well once he's done embarrassing himself, I'll show you what a cat who's been on Broadway since the 80s can do." Macavity sneered.
"Soy un perdidor." Homer sang. "I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me?"
Just outside of the bar, Scavenger dropped by and Frank Grimes honked his horn.
"You certainly are a loser, Simpson, you retard!" Grimes yelled. "I won't kill you, but I'll show you how a competent and professional man wins a race!"
He laughed and drove off at high speed.
Homer gasped and quickly put the microphone down. He ran to Marge, grabbed his bottle of beer and gulped it down in one go.
After a loud burp, he said: "Sorry folks, gotta go!"
The couple ran for Skids and hopped in, where a napping Maggie was waiting.
"Thanks for watching Maggie, Skids." Homer said. "Those lullaby songs you play can knock out any baby flat."
"No problem." Skids answered. "Just be lucky you're not riding with Jazz."
Homer floored the accelerator and raced off.
"Don't forget the kids!" Marge said. "We left them at the Wonderland Asamushi amusement park at the Asamushi Onsen resort."
"No sweat!" said Skids. "I'll get you there pronto!"
Back at the karaoke bar, Macavity had taken the stage and was now singing.
"Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity." he sang. "He's a fiend in feline shape..."
Suddenly, with a mighty engine roar, Drag Strip crashed through the front window of the bar and honked his horn.
"Come on, you schmuck! Get in!" he yelled.
"What's your problem?" Macavity asked indignantly. "You have interrupted a classic Broadway favourite!"
"In case you didn't notice, we're losing positions! And I dare say someone will call the local fuzz after what I just did there!" said Drag Strip. "SO COME ON!"
"Okay!" Macavity said as he heard police sirens approaching. He got into his Decepticon racer and they reversed out of the bar and drove off at high speed.
…
On the Tohoku Expressway, Octane was right on Glasnost's back bumper. Ted Logan kept the foot to the floor as he and Bill Preston tried to keep their Autobot stock car one step ahead of their evil robot duplicates, who were having too much fun in Octane.
"Whoa, Bill!" said Ted. "It looks like those evil robot usses have most certainly seen that Spielberg movie about the truck a lot."
"There's no way in hell they're gonna beat us, dude!" said Bill.
Glasnost reached his maximum speed and gained a decent lead on Octane.
"We're leaving 'em behind!" Bill yelled in triumph.
"EXCELLENT!" Both cried as they played air guitar.
"They're totally ahead of us, dude!" said Evil Bill.
"Ain't no prob." said Evil Ted. "Octane, let's jet!"
Octane transformed into his jet form and took off into the air, soaring into the sky above Glasnost. Bill and Ted noticed everything.
"Octane's a plane too?" asked a surprised Ted.
"Looks like it." said Bill, just as dumbfounded.
"BOGUS!" Both shouted.
"Let 'em have it, dude!" Evil Ted yelled as Evil Bill prepared to open fire.
Suddenly, Octane swerved to avoid a missile that had been fired from behind. Aero Raid had caught sight of the two evil robots and T-Bone and Razor trained their sights on Octane.
"That was a warning, punks!" said T-Bone over the radio. "Next time, we won't miss."
"So you two are going to give our buddies Bill and Ted an hour to get ahead of you." said Razor. "We'll stick with ya to make sure ya do."
"You guys are buddies?" Evil Bill had to ask.
"Hell yeah!" said Ted over Glasnost's radio. "The SWAT Kats love all our albums."
"No accounting for taste, I guess." Octane murmured under his breath.
"WHOA! We're totally screwed for an hour!" said Evil Ted.
"You got that right." T-Bone replied.
Glasnost sped off as fast as a bullet, leaving Aero Raid to keep an eye on Octane.
"CATCH YA LATER, BILL AND TED!" Evil Bill and Evil Ted chorused.
"CATCH YA LATER, BILL AND TED!" Bill and Ted replied as they sped off.
…
At the Wonderland Asamushi amusement park, Bart and Lisa Simpson had just got off a ride…
"This is great!" said Bart. "I guess we have to hit the road soon."
"What makes you say that?" asked Lisa.
"The fact that I can hear a fat boy yelling and honking the horn."
"BART! LISA! GET YOUR BUTTS OUT HERE! WE HAVE A RACE TO WIN!" Homer's voice was heard in the not-so-far distance.
Bart and Lisa quickly ran through entrance of the park and towards Skids. On the way, a silenced gunshot had narrowly missed them and hit the mechanism of a ride, causing it to break down. Japanese children groaned in disappointment.
The shot had been fired by Bart's mortal enemy, Sideshow Bob, from his vehicle where he and his Nebulan partner, Grax, had been trying to take out the boy.
"DAMN!" Sideshow Bob snapped his fingers. "I swear that Bart Simpson lives a charmed life! But still that idiot Krusty never remembers who he is!"
"Never mind that now!" Grax said. "There's still the Gumball and I don't intend to let Megatron or Lord Zarak down!"
"Point taken." said Sideshow Bob as they quickly sped off after Skids.
…
Hubcap had made a brief stop so that his Sesame Street partners could have a look around Mount Osore.
"Why did we have to stop here?" Telly asked Grover.
"They say this is a sight to see in Japan." Grover replied.
"Elmo don't like the smell here too much!" Elmo said.
"I don't like the look either." said Telly, sniffing something unusual in the air. "It looks scary. And I think I smell sulfur."
"You do." said Grover. "They say this place is the entrance to Heck!"
"Thanks for not swearing." Telly replied, still repulsed by the awful smell. "But hearing that doesn't make me feel much better."
"Me neither." Elmo whispered in fear.
"Oh, come on, guys. It's just a legend." Grover reassured his teammates. "And besides, we're all good guys here!"
They suddenly heard a loud rumbling.
"Uh, Grover?" Telly looked around cautiously. "Is there a volcano here?"
"I don't think so."
Despite his answer, however, Telly began to tremble. "Well, it sounds like something's about to go off!"
A disgusting and nauseating smell ran up their nostrils.
"OH! ELMO GONNA BE SICK!" Elmo yelled.
"I enjoyed that ramen, but I don't want to lose it so soon!" Telly held his nose.
"I agree, guys! Let's get outta here!" Grover said as all three of them ran back to Hubcap.
None of them had noticed that behind a few rocks were Terrance and Phillip. The bad smell had been their stereo farting.
"OH! Those were major rippers!" Terrance said.
"Well, what do you expect?" asked Phillip. "Vibes made us hold on so we wouldn't stink her up."
"Okay, let's go." said Terrance. "It's your turn to drive."
"Why?" asked Phillip.
"So I can eat my Kraft dinner, you dick!"
"YOU'RE the dick!" Phillip snapped back.
…
In Hirosaki, the X-Men had stopped to visit the city's famous castle.
"Ah! Breathtaking, isn't it, my friends?" Beast said, feasting his eye on the beautiful centuries-old building.
"Ah gotta admit, dat dere is a beauty, mon ami." replied Gambit. "Ah hope Rogue and petite can see dis when dey get back from da forest."
Wolverine's nostrils twitched and he let out a little roar, unsheathing his claws.
"What's the matter?" asked Beast.
"I smell somethin' and it ain't friendly." Wolverine sneered.
Sure enough, Crankcase roared onto the castle grounds. Sabretooth jumped out of his Decepticon with a nasty grin.
"Looks like a bargain here!" he sneered. "Three X-geeks for the price of one!"
"I knew it was you, you scum sucker!" Wolverine said.
"Well, come on then, runt! Let's get it on!" Sabretooth beckoned a claw at him in sadistic joy.
But just as the fight would commence, he was hit from behind by an energy blast and then tackled to the ground. Jubilee and Rogue had shown up, with the latter holding Sabretooth to the ground and removing her glove.
"Hun, y'all need a bit of that ol' feminine touch!" she set her hand on Sabretooth's forehead and drained some of his energy, knocking him out.
"Way to go, Rogue!" Jubilee cheered.
"You weren't too shabby yourself, squirt." Rogue winked, punching on the shoulder.
Jubilee grumbled a bit. She didn't like all the 'kid' digs her teammates got in at her.
"Well done, chere!" Gambit said.
"Now, my friends, I believe we should, to put it in the vernacular, vamoose." said Beast.
"With ya there, Hank." Wolverine couldn't agree more.
The X-Men ran for Huffer and sped off, leaving Sabretooth indisposed.
…
Elsewhere in Hirosaki, Ranma's group were glad to have the advantage taking control of the roads with Grand Maximus. Callum McGregor swerved out of the way as the huge Auotobot crossed his path, and checked on Persephone if she was hurt. The cast from 'Plastic Little' and 'Pretty Little Liars' tried to outrun Maximus, and both failed.
But then…
"NOW!" Buena Girl shouted.
Rollout sprang from the bushes and knocked over Grand Maximus with shear force, strong enough to tip him sideways.
"Yeah! Score one for Rikochet!" Rikochet bragged.
"...and the Flea!" Backabulb added. "It was my idea after all to show Maximus whose king of the road!"
"But it was my clever planning that made us succeed." Buena Girl said.
Whilst the young wrestlers began to argue, none of them noticed the Gumbys passing by them, yelling at each other at the top of their lungs.
"WE'RE OFF TO WIN THE GUMBALL!" One cried.
"WHAT BALL?" asked another.
"THE GUMBALL!"
"WHAT'S THE GUMBALL?"
"…I DON'T KNOW!"
…
Near the Naruko Gorge, John Constantine zoomed past his friends/rivals Death and Dream, having one hell of a lifetime with Nightstalker. Death raised a brow and smiled, speeding up Sonic to catch up with him.
"Death sure has no boundaries." Sonic commented. "But I never thought you'd look pretty at the same time!"
"You don't know half of Death." Dream replied.
Not far off, Mojo Jojo launched Heatwave's missiles up to the sky, hoping to strike down the Powerpuff Girls in their Auotobot, Doublecross. Unfortunately, the missiles missed their target and instead hit the Rowdyruff Boys in Banzai-Tron, just when they were about to launch their own assault on the girls.
"CURSES!" Mojo pounded his fists on the driving wheel.
"My grandma can aim better than you!" Brick's voice echoed.
"I HEARD THAT!" Mojo screamed back.
…
At the Misawa Air Base, a ceremony to honor some visiting top brass was in full swing. It was mildly disrupted when Eagle Eye flew over the base.
"Blistering barnacles!" said Captain Haddock. "Looks like quite a shindig down there. I wonder if they have that sake stuff. I hear it's big over here."
Milou barked in an uncertain way.
"Captain," Dupond said. "I think we should just move on, or there could be trouble as sure as my name's Dupond."
"To be precise, as sure as my name's Dupont, there could be trouble if we don't move on." Dupont added.
"Why do you say that?" asked Haddock.
"Because of that!" Both detectives said as they pointed out a couple of jet fighters from the base, firing ammunition at them.
"Thundering typhoons!" Haddock jumped from his seat. "We better get outta here!"
Eagle Eye flew away unharmed.
"That was close." Dupond said, whipping the sweat off his forehead.
"Blistering bullying bombardiers!" grumbled Haddock. "No sense of humor."
…
While the X-Men made their way out of Hirosaki, they passed through the neighborhood of Nishihiro. As Gambit drove Huffer, he noticed the Shadow King stepping out of a cheap bar.
"It's dat sleazeball." Gambit pointed out.
"He's a hedonist. Where else did you expect him to be?" Beast said.
"I'll just delay him for a l'il bit." Gambit whipped out one of his cards and charged it.
As the Shadow King approached Clench, his Decepticon truck, Gambit threw the card under Clench's front bumper. The card exploded, flipping the Decepticon into the air and triggering off several car and burglar alarms.
The Shadow King was stunned. The slightly drunken state of his host body had prevented him reading any nearby thoughts so he was genuinely surprised.
Clench transformed into his robot mode and ran around in pain, shouting: "OW! My tail end's on fire!"
The Shadow King heard a horn honk and saw Huffer speed off.
"Damn those X-Men!" he scowled at them. "They'll pay for that!"
"Are you happy now?" Huffer sulkily asked Gambit. "Because now we've got a chase on our hands!"
"I thought you were used to fightin' Decepticons, Huffer." said Wolverine.
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I LIKE doing it!" Huffer replied.
…
An energetic Grampy was feeling forty years younger as he danced across the highway with his buddy, Wreck-Gar. He raced at incredible speed, past Artemis Fowl, Tulio and Miguel, Double Dragon, and caught the attention of the Daughters of the Moon and Cliffjumper.
"Afternoon, ladies!" he waved in high spirits, doing a handstand on his seat. "Wish I could chat, but we're on a race, you know! Heh-heh!"
Grampy raced past them, and little did he know that he had a torn gaping hole at the back of his pants, which made the ladies frown.
"It's a strong drift we're having today…" Grampy thought. "…I wonder if all that prune juice I drank at the last stop was such a good idea."
"Better hold your noses, ladies." Cliffjumper said.
…
"You're gonna have to do better than that, Bannon!" Frank Drebin shouted. "Let's see how fast you can drive through the Tamura caves!"
The two raced into the Tamura caves, awakening a cloud of bats as they flew about with horrifying shrieks. Michael Bannon kept his eyes ahead, but Drebin was having trouble as bats were defecating on his windshield. The worst of luck he had yet.
By the time they got out, the Keeper needed a car wash…a dozen at least.
…
In Akita, Ironhide and Backbeat were trying to outdistance each other. Mystery Inc. and the Teen Angels had a friendly rivalry going between the two of them.
"Let's see you try to beat us, girls!" said Daphne as she took Ironhide's wheel.
"ZOWIE! We certainly will!" said Taffy of the Teen Angels.
"Remember who were the original mystery-solving team for Bill and Joe!" Fred said.
"Fred! Like, that's a real low blow!" protested Shaggy.
"Reah!" chipped in Scooby.
"Sorry." Fred said humbly, shrugging his shoulders.
Just then, Vanguard tried to pass both vehicles. Johnny Bravo had climbed out onto the roof of his Autobot and was flexing his muscles.
"Hey there, hot mamas." he said to Daphne and the Teen Angels. "Check the pecs! Any chance of some sushi together? I'll pay for it!"
"Hey." said Brenda. "He is so cute!"
"More like so stupid!" Dee Dee said.
"Well, I bet I could beat you guys anyway." Johnny huffed.
"Why you…!" Scrappy snapped as Velma and Scooby restrained him. "Lemme at 'im! Lemme at 'im!"
"Hey, Cavey." Taffy said. "I think we should teach muscle man a lesson."
"Okay." said Captain Caveman as he took control of Backbeat's crane.
The crane arm quickly grabbed hold of Vanguard and lifted him up into the air.
"HEY!" Johnny clung on for his dear life. "Okay! I'm sorry I said that! I apologize! I take back everything I said!"
"Good to hear." said Dee Dee. "Now do you promise to stop harassing us?"
"Yes, I swear." Johnny begged.
"Okay then. Cavey, drop him now."
"Okay, Dee Dee." Captain Caveman used the crane to drop Johnny and Vanguard down again.
"See, Scrap?" Velma said. "No need for violence."
She looked back out of Ironhide's window at Johnny, who was making a 'call me' gesture at her.
"I gotta admit. He is rather cute." she thought to herself.
…
The Pirates of the Seas and Gnaw silently stalked Alpha Prime from underwater. They were planning to launch their attack on the Autobot.
"(Man the first torpedo!)" Maxagaze ordered his Decepticon.
But Gnaw lost his aim when another torpedo from out of nowhere almost struck them. Cap'n Crunch rose out from the seabed and rammed his Autobot, Diver, right into them.
"(ARGH! Curse you and your great-tasting, crunchy sweetened corn and oat cereal, Crunch!)" Maxagaze shook his fist at him.
Meanwhile, up on the surface…
"Sparrow!" Captain Hook pointed at him from Liege Maximo.
"Stand aside, Hook!" Captain LeChuck scowled when he saw Captain Jack Sparrow and his crew. "I never thought I'd run into you on this Gumball race! Take your ship and drive back the way you came!"
Sparrow shook his head casually and just smiled. "There's a problem there, mate. Y'see, me, Guybrush and Elaine ain't going anywhere but forwards…and far across the oceans to claim that Gumball trophy, savvy?"
A loud horn was heard in the distance…followed by a loud and distinctive choir of young voices…and right up behind them, appeared Grandus and the Mighty Ducks.
"Holy ship!" Guybrush gasped.
"Look out, Captain!" Smee pointed out before ducking for cover.
"QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!"
The Mighty Ducks yelled triumphantly, pounding their hockey sticks and stomping their feet as they rocked Sparrow's and Hook's Transformers with their massive waves.
"We've been doing this for the last hour." Russ Tyler huffed and puffed at Charlie, out of breath. "Let's play some more hockey!"
Charlie agreed, and the Mighty Ducks resumed their game. Since they were on an aircraft carrier, there was plenty of space for fun and activities.
…
"You can't catch me, Freakazoid!" The Lobe laughed as he crashed right through Tsuruga-jo Castle. "First I cancelled your show, now I'm going to beat you on the most pointless race you ever imagined!"
"NEVER!" Freakazoid cried. "I can never finish this race in second place! I won't accept defeat!"
Not far off was Jonny Quest's gang, alongside with their parody counterparts, Toby Danger's.
"Say, didn't you guys have an episode one time with that crazy superhero?" Jonny had to ask.
"Yeah." Toby Danger scratched his head. "But the producers said we weren't funny enough. And to think that guy in charge of Relax-O-Vision got his own spin-off show."
…
"Well, McBarker. I think we're making good progress on this race, wouldn't you say?"
Mr. Magoo had no idea that he'd run through every convenience store in Fukushima, not to mention he had accidentally scooped up Fire Road and Freeway with his Autobot's shovel. Gabby and the Babysitter's Club were begging to be put down, but Baby Huey was enjoying every moment of it, clapping his hands playfully.
"Sorry, guys." Scoop apologized to his buddies. "But I guess you can't get more un-PC than this!"
…
In Akita City, Sub-Zero and Scorpion were racing hard against each other, but were both nearly blown off the road by a blast from Overcharge, as the evil lord Shang Tsung tried to pass them.
"Get over here!" Scorpion yelled as he launched his harpoon attack from his hand and latched onto Overcharge's rear end.
Tsung laughed and shot three fireballs at the 'rope' of the harpoon and broke it.
"Now, traitor, you will pay!" Tsung aimed Overcharge's tank cannon at Stonecrusher and Excavator.
"Not so fast!" Sub-Zero fired a blast of ice from his hand, freezing up Overcharge's cannon.
"That won't stop me, you fool!" sneered Tsung as he transformed Overcharge into his jet form and took to the air.
Sub-Zero only smiled. "Obviously, you didn't recognize the form that Direct Hit and Power Punch took."
Sure enough, his Autobot partners activated their anti-aircraft weapons and opened fire on Overcharge. Tsung tried desperately to avoid the shots but Sub-Zero was doing very well against the sorcerer.
"I hate to admit it, but you still fight well." Scorpion said to his rival.
"And I'm glad to hear that you can make more than two word sentences, my friend." Sub-Zero joked.
…
Yae and Naruto's gang were having a friendly competition against each other in the forests of Dewa Sanzan. But they were interrupted when the Grim Reaper got in between them.
"Aw, cool!" Billy said. "We got ninjas in this race! How far out is that? You think I can ask them for a ninja star as a souvenir?"
"Lose 'em, Grim." Mandy ordered.
"It's not easy when this place is so green…I hate green!" Grim grumbled, trying to outrun the other Gumballers. "Oh, no…don't tell me."
Grim looked up to see a falling hornet hive smash onto the Overlord's roof. Hundreds of hornets swarmed into the car, attacking the gang with deadly stings.
…
Inque and Nightracer weren't willing to show any mercy towards Karin Kokobu, Prince Torariaano and Skyhammer. Mayhem and Hairsplitter couldn't wait to crush them on the highway either. With her enemies gaining on her, Karin decided it was time to leave the roads.
A tunnel was up ahead…and as they entered, Skyhammer transformed into a Cybertronic jet. At the same time, Karin transformed into the super pig, Buurin. Hairsplitter couldn't believe what he just saw as he reached the end of the tunnel and watched the Autobot fly away.
"Wow…pigs DO fly." he said. "And I bet the world really is banana shaped."
…
The CSI team had teamed up Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine to outrun Albert Wesker on the race. Their Autobots did their best to keep behind him, but Blackjack was one hell of a tough Decepticon. He wasn't going to go easy on anybody.
"Well, Blackjack." Wesker raised his brow at his rear mirror and tilted his sunglasses. "It seems we have more than Chris and Jill to worry about. Do be so kind and entertain our friends."
Blackjack transformed into his robot mode, blasting the Autobots behind his tail. The Autobots did the same, returning fire at once. Blackjack avoided every shot at ease. He performed a back flip and transforming back into his car mode before speeding away.
"After him!" Chris yelled.
The Autobots transformed again, and quickly followed.
…
In the Rikichu Kaigan National Park, the evil poacher Percival C. McLeach and his pet lizard Joanna had stopped for a bit of hunting.
"Now be quiet, Joanna." McLeach whispered. "They say that kamoshikas have been sighted around the park. I bet there are plenty who'd pay big bucks for a kamoshika pelt."
McLeach kept a close look out through his gun sight and smiled when he did indeed spot one of the Japanese antelopes.
"Okay, my pretty." he whispered to his gun. "Here we go!"
But just before he could pull the trigger, a loud rumble occurred and the kamoshikas bolted.
"DAMN!" McLeach yelled. "What in the hell was that?"
He then smelled something bad.
"Those...assholes!"
He got up and marched angrily out of the forest, towards where he had parked Scavenger. Surely enough, next to the Construction vehicle was Vibes, with Terrance and Phillip nearby
The two Canadian entertainers had indeed farted again.
"I told you that four cheese pizza was a mistake!" said Terrance. "You're an asshole, Phillip!"
"Take that, you dick!" Phillip smacked Terrance upside the head.
McLeach trained his gun on the two.
"Four cheese pizza my ass!" he grunted. "You two did that on purpose!"
"Well, what can we say? We love animals." said Terrance.
"Me too." McLeach replied. "I like their heads on my mantelpiece. I think I'll put you two on the wall beside my deer head."
"Fire in the hole!" yelled Phillip as he and Terrance turned around, sticking their butts in the air and letting out two massive fart clouds.
Joanna looked like she was going to be sick as her face turned unnaturally yellow. McLeach started gagging and lowered his gun.
"Why…" McLeach choked under his breath. "…you little swines!"
"Let's go!" said Terrance as he and Phillip jumped back into Vibes and raced off.
"That was awesome!" said Phillip. "Who'd have thought flatulence could save an endangered animal?"
"You guys will find any excuse to use toilet humor, won't you?" said Vibes wearily.
"Jeez. And I thought that Jewish woman from South Park was stuck up." Terrance thought to himself.
…
Rumble was racing down the highway in Miyagi, harassing any drivers who got in his way.
"CHICKEN!" he yelled at a driver that he forced off the road.
"This will be a truly memorable experience." smirked the replicant, Roy Batty, in a twisted voice.
They were then passed and cut off by the Powerdasher Car, driven by teenage spy Alex Rider.
"That was very rude of him." said Pris.
"Not to mention unsportsmanlike-like." added Roy.
"That snot-nose punk ain't gonna beat me!" yelled Rumble as he sped up to catch the Powerdasher Car.
As Rumble came up behind him, Alex suddenly swerved and made him go off the road and nearly hit a tree. Rumble stopped himself before he crashed. The Powerdasher Car went to a screeching halt. Alex got out to check the two replicants and see if they were alright.
Both of them climbed out of Rumble and glared at Alex antagonistically.
"Got a problem?" Alex asked.
"Yeah! You!" said Pris as she assumed a martial arts stance.
Alex did the same, which surprised her.
"You know karate?" she asked.
"I'm a black belt." smirked Alex. "I'm also an expert white-water rafter, marksman and have many other great skills."
"How old are you?" asked Roy in amazement.
"Old enough to kick some arse." Alex smiled.
"We'll see." said Pris.
She somersaulted towards Alex and aimed a kick at him. He dodged with ease. A brief battle occurred in which the latter quickly gained the upper hand.
When Pris got exhausted, Roy had had enough and said: "I think we should let him be, Pris."
"Fine." Pris grunted. "But we'll see who wins this race."
"We certainly will." replied Alex with another smile.
Roy couldn't stop being amazed. "Another interesting sight. The attack ships at Orion, the C-beams near Tannhauser Gate and now a teenage black belt. I hope someone who'll live longer may see such things.
…
"Runabout, Runamuck! Now's your chance!" shouted Megatron. "ATTACK!"
Judge Doom had contacted Black Spy and White Spy, in Runabout and Runamuck respectively, to help subdue Mary Poppins. Both were incredibly delighted for the job and took no hesitation in loading up their state-of-the-art missiles launchers as they closed in on Optimus Prime.
"Mary Poppins! Behind us!" Jane cried, after seeing the Decepticons in the side mirror.
Optimus Prime opened his windows, and Michael was panicking even more. "Shut the windows! Shut the windows! They'll shoot at us, they will!" he begged.
But Optimus Prime did not, and Mary Poppins wasn't complaining. The Black Spy and White Spy sniggered, locking their targets at the huge truck's windows. It seemed like a clear shot for them. They fired…the Black Spy first…followed by the White Spy…and both missiles headed straight towards the Autobot.
The missiles flew right through Optimus Prime's open windows and out the other side, crossing each other without getting a scratch. And much to the Spies' fear, their Decepticons were blown off the road. Their plan to destroy Mary Poppins had only ended in getting each other blown up by their own gunfire.
Doom never imagined they'd get anything right.
…
In Sendai, Lord Straxus had approached Yagiyama Zoo. The Brain had just finished working on a special helmet he had attached to his own head.
"If my calculations are correct, this mind control helmet should turn the animals in the zoo against the humans."
"Excellent, Brain." Straxus laughed. "With the chaos we'll cause in the city, we'll certainly get a lead in the Gumball."
"Alright, here it goes!" The Brain activated the helmet. "Attack the humans! This order cannot be countermanded!"
Straxus scanned the zoo to see if anything was happening, but to his disappointment, nothing was.
"What went wrong?" his voice thundered.
Out of nowhere, Pinky let out an animal cry and leapt out of Straxus, running towards a nearby tourist and gnawing on his leg.
"Oh, of course." Brain smacked his own forehead. "I only tested it out on Pinky. His brainwaves are different from other animals and I only had it tuned to his frequency."
"Are his brainwaves different because he's raving mad by any chance?" asked Straxus.
"Yes." sighed the Brain.
"Go get him back so we can get on with the race. And I suggest you soon change your moniker to something more fitting. Like THE BIRDBRAIN!"
…
The Stranger fired another blast at Spawn and Deep Cover. Doc Holliday wasn't certain if this was fair at all.
"Stranger, should you really be firing your gun at fellow Gumballers?" Holliday asked. "It doesn't seem very sportsmanlike."
"Relax, Doc." The Stranger replied, loading his next round of bullets. "I hear this guy can take a shotgun blast in the face any day. He's immortal."
Spawn saw the Stranger fixing his aim, and took this chance to roar up Deep Cover's engines. He drove away, leaving a trail of flames behind.
…
Volks had stopped at the Children's Science Museum in Morioka. Gordon, Olivia and Linda looked very impressed that such an institution had been established to encourage gifted young minds.
Flying above the building was Flamefeather and the Grand High Witch, who was most definitely not happy that the progress of children whom she hated so much was being encouraged.
"I hate those little dog-dropping smelling brats!" she hissed. "Let's teach them a lesson."
Suddenly, a flying disc-shaped object struck Flamefeather, rupturing a fuel line.
"We have to make an emergency landing." Flamefeather said.
"Blast it!" snapped the Grand High Witch. "Whoever did that will pay!"
As Flamefeather flew away, the disc object returned to its owner, Cookie Monster. Good thing it was a cookie with sharpened edges.
"And don't come back again!" Cookie Monster yelled.
"Well done, Cookie." Gordon applauded. "I just hope you remember that violence isn't the answer though."
"Me know." said Cookie Monster. "I just didn't want the kids hurt."
"Okay, I think it's time to go." said Olivia.
Linda made an affirmative sign.
"Just try not to eat Olivia's luggage this time, Cookie." said Gordon as the team got back into Volks and drove off.
…
Drosselmeyer was navigating his Decepticon underwater, nearing the island of Kinkasan.
"Hey, Drosselmeyer," Nautilator said. "Get a load of what's going on up there."
Up on the surface of the ocean, Rue morphed into Princess Kraehe as she continued her chase with Princess Tutu and Fakir.
"This girl sure doesn't know when to quit." Splashdown said. "You two ought to find a way to lose her fast!"
"Die, Autobot!" Overbite fired, making Princess Tutu utter:
"QUACK!"
Tutu transformed back into Ahiru and the tiny duck flapped her wings helplessly as she fell off Splashdown. Overbite drove so fast that Kraehe didn't see it coming when her face went slap right into Ahiru's tail.
The poor duck ended up sitting on her face and Kraehe was blind to see where she was going. She had to call out: "(Overbite, please help me! I can't see!)"
"Well, why would I give a flying duck?" he replied.
…
In the city of Koriyama, Xena drove Steeljaw through the streets as fast as she could. She was trying to outdistance Stuntman Mike and his partner, Singe, who were trying to overtake her.
Mike tried to ram Xena from behind, but she was able to keep ahead. Hercules and Zorro had stopped at a nearby restaurant and saw Xena being chased.
"Looks like your friend has some trouble, amigo." said Zorro.
"Yeah, she can handle it. But I think we should teach that guy a lesson." Hercules finished his drink in one gulp and took off with his buddy.
They headed for Ramhorn and Road Rocket and joined the chase.
Xena had got a lead on the Cadillac Mike and Singe were driving, and Mike had dropped back a bit. He now got ready to floor the accelerator.
"Get ready to fly, bitch!" he laughed he roared up behind Steeljaw.
Xena had anticipated his move and quickly swerved off onto the sidewalk and jumped Steeljaw over a traffic crossing.
"What made us jump?" Steeljaw curiously asked.
"I don't know. Just be glad it did." replied Xena.
"Oh, you wanna play, huh?" Stuntman Mike let out a demonic chuckle. "Then we'll play alright!"
"Can't you just let it go?" asked Singe.
"No way!" said Stuntman Mike. "No Amazon bitch is gonna beat me out of Tohoku!"
Xena had taken out her throwing ring and threw it right at the Cadillac's radiator while Stuntman Mike was distracted. It caused damage to the engine and Stuntman Mike grunted as he was forced to stop the car and step out to survey the damage.
Xena hopped off Steeljaw and approached the evil stuntman and his Nebulan partner.
"So, you like to play rough, huh?" Xena said, cracking her knuckles. "Then I'll be happy to oblige you."
She threw a hard punch at Mike, knocking him to the ground.
"Hey, now wait a minute…" said the dazed Mike as he got back to his feet.
Xena shut him up by throwing some more fast fists. By this time, Ramhorn and Road Rocket had caught up.
"I think we should give Xena a hand." said Hercules.
"Are you loco?" asked Zorro. "She's doing well enough on her own. I doubt she'd want to be interrupted."
Xena had now finished beating up Stuntman Mike and he was nearly unconscious.
"Hi, guys." Xena waved casually at her friends. "How are you doing?"
"Fine." Hercules waved in return. "You finished with that guy now?"
"Sure. If you two would just like to add a finishing touch."
Hercules obliged by ramming his fist into the Cadillac's front end, causing a bit more damage.
"HEY!" yelled Singe.
"Don't worry. I'm sure there's a garage nearby." smirked Hercules.
Zorro took out his sword and slashed the letters 'G' and 'R' onto the Cadillac's bodywork.
"Gumball Rally." he explained. "So you'll never forget not to pick on helpless women again."
"About as helpless as a she-tiger." Singe said sarcastically as he remembered how Xena had beaten him and Stuntman Mike.
As he went to try and wake Mike up, Hercules, Xena and Zorro all drove off on the road to the Kanto region.