Disclaimer: Nothing, absolutely nothing belongs to me. All characters belong to their rightful owners respectfully. No profit is being made out of this story, please don't sue.
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Chapter Eight: Insert Stock Footage
…
On the island of Shodoshima, Donkey Kong and his many friends had stopped at the Choshikei Monkey Park. The many Japanese macaque monkeys were chattering happily as Donkey and Diddy handed out bananas and some of the famous Shodoshima olives to them.
Cranky Kong looked on in disapproval. "Just typical of you youngsters these days." he said. "You'll end up spoiling these poor critters, just like you yourselves are spoiled."
"Hey, Cranky, they're not spoiled. They're just trying to spread a bit of happiness." Dixie Kong remarked as Kiddy Kong giggled.
"What do they know about happiness?" Cranky said. "Why back in my day, we had to make do with..."
Cranky was cut off as Funky Kong rushed into the park on Geosensus, honking the Autobot's horn.
"Hey, you guys! We gotta get going!" Funky yelled.
"What's the big emergency, Funk?" asked Donkey.
"It's a big, green, scaly emergency gettin' ahead of us!" Funky replied as he handed a pair of binoculars to Donkey and Diddy.
They looked through them to see King K. Rool and Aist out in the ocean, making major headway in the Gumball.
"This is VERY not good!" Diddy said.
"Okay then, let's GO!" yelled Donkey as he and Diddy ran for Ironfist. Dixie picked up Kiddy and joined them.
"These young 'uns these days. Always in a hurry!" grumbled Cranky.
"Would you rather they won the Gumball Trophy?" asked Drench.
Cranky thought about it for a second as Ironfist and Geosensus drove off.
"Hell no!" he said as he used his cane to pole-vault into Drench's driver seat and drove off after his companions.
…
A major air battle was taking place in the Kankakei Gorge. The Jet Force Gemini swerved past Neutro, Kick-Off and Skater, facing a surprisingly large contingent of airborne Decepticons as they tried to gain the lead.
Juno and Vela fired their plasma shotguns at Bomb-Burst and Powerdive as they opened fire on Sky Garry.
"Get them, Bombie!" Baroness Bomburst yelled at her husband Baron Bomburst. "We can NOT let those disgusting little brats beat us."
"I'm doing the best I can, Chu-Chi Face." the Baron replied with mock affection.
Just then, Lupus appeared alongside Bomb-Burst with the aid of his levitation device and fired a few laser blasts, taking out one of Bomb-Burst's engines.
As the Decepticon went into a spin, the Baroness banged her head against the window.
The Baron smiled to himself and then put on a baby voice. "Oh, is mein little dumpling hurt?"
"I'll be fine, my love." she replied, holding her head.
The Baron snapped his fingers in frustration. He then got ready to make a landing for emergency repairs.
"Way to go, Lupus!" cheered Vela as the dog returned to Sky Garry.
However, Powerdive was still behind them.
"We'll take care of these do-gooders!" yelled Cyril Sneer. "The trophy is mine!"
"You've nearly used up all the weapons, Pop." Cedric replied. "Don't you think you should take it easy?"
"Keep squawkin' and you're goin' in the dungeon when we get home, Cedric!" Cyril snapped. "Besides, I called in reinforcements, didn't I?"
At that, Guttersnipe and Deceptitran flew past Powerdrive and engaged Sky Garry in air combat.
"You will be deleted!" the Cyberman said in Guttersnipe as he fired his machine guns and arm laser.
"ACK ACK ACK ACK!" the Martian Leader and Ambassador added in unison as they opened fire with Deceptitran's weapons.
"Hold on, sis! We're not done for yet!" said Juno, turning Sky Garry around to face their attackers and opened fire with all weapons.
The flying Decepticons took heaps of damage. Though none of them noticed that high above, Spinister and Cutthroat were getting ahead.
"You will see whose magic is the best when we win this race, you pathetic fool!" Messina sneered in Cutthroat as she and El Supremo got a lead on Gargamel and Azrael, in Spinister.
"I'll show you!" Gargamel replied. "I know I've wanted to eat Smurfs before but I'd love to try scrambled snake!"
Azrael cackled as Spinister took the lead against Cutthroat.
Gargamel tittered to himself, but then panicked as he looked ahead and saw that he was heading straight for the ropeway. He quickly raised Spinister higher to avoid hitting it. His distraction allowed Cutthroat to claim the lead and El Supremo let out his booming laugh.
…
On the Shodoshima Skyline Road, a full-scale battle was occurring between multiple Gumballers. The villainous South Town crime lord, Mr. Big, was in a high-speed martial arts battle with the equally villainous German nobleman, Wolfgang Krauser, as their Decepticons, Snarler and Carnivac, each tried to outdo each other.
Both men returned to their vehicles and frantically tried to dodge the heavy fire they suddenly came under. Their attackers were Wyler, in Maul, and the Jin twins Chonshu and Chonrei in their Decepticon spacefighter, Slugslinger. They all strafed the road with shells and bullets.
Even further up the road, the Ultratech prototype robot Fulgore fired lasers and bullets from his mounted weapons from the Hapless Trooper towards his two enemies, Jago and his sister B. Orchid in Gort. Both had managed to fend off Fulgore's attacks with Jago's sword and Orchid's eskrima sticks.
As Fulgore got ready to unleash an electrical attack, Orchid briefly morphed into her fire tiger form and mauled some of his circuitry off. The evil robot sparked and appeared disoriented, almost as if he was about to explode.
Orchid stood up in her seat and unzipped her outfit, showing her prominent 'credentials'. Despite being a robot, Fulgore nearly had a fatal short circuit with what he saw and lost control of the Hapless Trooper.
"Okay, Fulgore. I'm gonna fix you up." said the Hapless Trooper as Gort got away. "I'm not completely hapless you know. Unlike YOU right now."
Orchid laughed as she zipped her suit up again.
"It always works, even with that glorified action figure!"
"Was that really necessary though, sis?" asked Jago. "You used the same move on that cop who pulled us over earlier to get out of a ticket."
"Your point being?" Orchid raised an eyebrow.
"Well, this isn't the Cannonball Run, you know." Jago remarked.
"But the Gumball's based on the same real-life race, isn't it?" asked Gort.
"HUH?" Both Orchid and Jago said.
"Never mind." Gort replied wearily.
Up at the very end of the road, Nightwing had enlisted the aid of Batfink and his sidekick Karate to take on his enemies: the Disruptor and the Clock King.
"Get ready to use your powers, Angelica." Clock King said to Disruptor over Tiptop's radio as he unsheathed his clock-hand shaped sword. He had used his keen intellect to realize what Batfink was about to do as Mach Road pulled up alongside him.
Clock King got ready to attack Batfink with his sword.
"Your sword can't harm me!" Batfink said triumphantly. "My wings…"
"…are like a shield of steel! I KNOW!" Clock King snapped. "You said so in EVERY EPISODE of your show!"
"Then why are you still pointing that thing at us?" asked Karate.
"Because of THIS!" yelled the Disruptor as she came up behind Mach Road and fired her suit's weapons at Batfink and Karate.
Batfink's wings suddenly sagged.
"Uh-oh!" said Karate as his chopping arm went limp as well.
Clock King laughed, getting ready to slash out with the sword. But just then, Big Daddy had caught up and Nightwing threw one of his Wing-Dings at Clock King, making him drop the sword.
Clock King pulled out a few clock-hand shaped throwing knives and threw them towards Big Daddy's tyres. At the same time, Disruptor tried to fire at Big Daddy's engine and short it out. But the Hot Rod Patrol leader had a lot of slick driving moves up his sleeve and was able to avoid the attacks.
"Let's get out of here!" Clock King yelled.
"Oh no, you don't!" Nightwing said. "Guys, NOW!"
Batfink and Karate quickly put gas masks on as Nightwing pulled out some knockout gas capsules from his utility belt and dropped them in Tiptop and Crasher's path.
As the gas was released, the two super villains fell unconscious and their Decepticons slowed down and stopped to avoid an accident.
Mach Road and Big Daddy sped on.
"Thanks, Dick. We owe you one!" smirked Batfink as he removed his gas mask and gave a thumbs-up.
"No prob! I just wish Bruce would say that from time to time." Nightwing replied. "Now let's win this race!"
"You'll have to catch us first, buddy!" said Karate as Mach Road kicked in his 'Batmobile' booster engine and roared off.
"Hey, no way!" said Big Daddy as he put himself into overdrive and picked up the pace.
…
Near the end of the island, Joyride, Countdown and Aquafend had finished going around the clockwise route of the Shodoshima 88 Temple Pilgrimage. Indiana Jones and his good friend, Dizzy, looked very happy with what they had seen and learned but Emperor Kuzco looked rather bored.
"What's the problem, Kuzco?" Indy asked.
"I followed you on the route because I thought we'd find treasure, that's what." Kuzco grumbled. "I mean you guys usually do."
"I'm actually glad there wasn't one this time." smirked Indy. "No booby traps to avoid for a start. And best of all, no snakes."
"I'm glad too." said Dizzy. "If there was a treasure here, Daisy would go on at me to collect 30 gold coins for our honeymoon cottage."
"I'm not arguing that fact, guys." said Kuzco. "My point is that it wasn't even the PROPER Shikoku 88 Temple Pilgrimage."
"So? It's every bit as important!" Dizzy said. "You should try to be more open minded."
"Yeah, but someone could have got a lead on us." Kuzco added.
With a wild yelling of his gibberish language, Taz Tasmanian Devil roared past them in Deluge on his way to the mainland bridge.
"Which just happened." Kuzco deadpanned.
"No problem." said Indy as he sped Joyride up with Dizzy doing the same with Countdown.
As Taz babbled to himself and shook Deluge's steering wheel to encourage him to go faster, Indy got his whip ready. Dizzy took out his whip as well.
"You remember your lessons alright, Diz?" asked Indy.
"Yeah. YOU take care of Taz though. I'm afraid he might try to eat me." replied Dizzy as they drew closer to Deluge.
"Steady...steady...GO!" yelled Indy.
Dizzy lashed out with his whip first and wrapped it around Deluge's steering wheel. He quickly and easily pulled it off.
Indy lashed out with his whip and coiled it around the confused Taz, lifting him out of Deluge's cockpit.
Deluge went out of control and crashed into the sea.
A few minutes later…
Taz was hung from a tree branch with the whip still restraining him and a muzzle on his mouth.
"See ya!" Kuzco yelled happily as he rushed off to join Dizzy and Indy.
After they had gone, Taz angrily strained against his bonds. Within seconds, he broke through them by spinning in his tornado form towards the beach where Deluge had walked back to shore in his robot form.
Taz removed his muzzle and babbled in his language.
"My thoughts exactly!" Deluge smirked to himself. He handed a spare steering wheel to Taz and changed into his vehicle mode.
Taz jumped in and fitted the new wheel.
"You should be grateful I carry a spare in case of emergencies. Now let's go!" Deluge yelled.
Taz put his foot down and roared off in pursuit of their competition, babbling even more as they went.
"Easy on the language there!" Deluge warned him. "We want to avoid the R rating."
…
On the streets of Kotohira, Magog was in fierce competition with Courage the Cowardly Dog and Muriel Bagge, firing Sidetrack's missiles at the Autobot Traitor. A panicked Courage took control of his Autobot's steering wheel and swiftly avoided being hit.
Further behind them though, Killbison was attacking Big Shot. Solid Snake was concentrating on the driving in Big Shot while Lt. Jordan O'Neil took control of his cannon.
"Show him what you've got!" Snake yelled.
"No problem." said O'Neil.
In Killbison, Snake's evil 'twin' Liquid Snake laughed in contempt as O'Neil took aim.
"You think I fear you?" he said over the loudspeaker. "Sniper Wolf only barely made it onto the FOXHOUND team. What makes you think a pathetic excuse for a soldier like you can take it?"
"Hey, Liquid." O'Neil smirked. "Suck it!"
She opened fire with Big Shot's cannon and immediately blew Killbison's gun turret off.
"SHIT!" yelled Liquid.
"Deal with that, Blondie!" O'Neil laughed as she and Snake left Liquid to handle his damage.
Killbison shifted into his robot mode and fired a few blasts from his laser gun after Big Shot, but he was long gone.
Just then, Motorhead raced past, followed by Braver. As Braver drove himself, Sydney Bristow had taken control of his weapons platform and was firing shots at Motorhead.
In Motorhead, the hired killers Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd fired shots back at her with their side arms but were having little luck.
"Secret agents can be so tiresome, Mr. Wint." Mr. Kidd said.
"Indeed, Ms. Bristow seems to be no exception to that rule, Mr. Kidd." Mr. Wint said as he stopped to reload. "But they do say that pride comes before a fall."
"Indeed. Even an Autobot must run out of ammunition sometime." Mr. Kidd smirked.
"One side, Captain and Tennille! You've been ousted from the top position!" Sydney laughed as he punctured both of Motorhead's rear tires and left him and his partners in the dust.
"That was most annoying." Mr. Wint growled.
"I must say, though, that Ms. Bristow is very attractive." Mr. Kidd said.
Mr. Wint glared at him in a hurt way.
"For a lady." Mr. Kidd quickly added as he chuckled nervously.
"You two heard any Cher albums recently?" Motorhead sarcastically asked.
…
A few blocks away, the Goonies and their friend Sloth had just visited the Naniwa Cake Shop and were enjoying the sweets they had got as Thunder Clash drove down the street.
Suddenly, Sloth's former family the Fratellis came up behind them in Rotgut.
"We're gonna rip you little bastards to pieces!" Rotgut sadistically yelled. "We're gonna bite your throats out and drink your blood! We're gonna squeeze your eyeballs until they burst! We're gonna..."
Mama Fratelli pounded on Rotgut's dashboard.
"Will ya shut up and take those little twerps out?" she yelled.
"Okay." Rotgut replied sheepishly.
In Thunder Clash, the Goonies had noticed their enemies approaching them.
"Oh great! Trouble with a capital 'T'!" said Brand. "Or 'F' if you prefer."
"Well then let's radiate." said Mikey. "Uh, I mean retrograde."
"RETALIATE, Mikey." Andy said reassuringly.
"That's what I said!" Mikey said defensively as Rotgut sideswiped Thunder Clash a couple of times.
"Okay! Data, Chunk, Sloth, you guys know what to do." said Stef.
"Right away!" said Data cheerfully as he, Chunk and Sloth went into the back of their Autobot.
As Rotgut continued to try and ram his enemies off the road, Jake and Francis had taken out their guns and fired.
"Eat this, ya little shits!" Francis yelled.
"Should we be doing this when they've got those things, Ma?" asked Jake as he nodded to the two missiles Thunder Clash had mounted on him.
Mama angrily slapped him on the cheek.
"Don't be such a sissy! They're just there for show, you idiot!" she yelled.
"Okay!" said Jake as he resumed firing.
Mama swerved Rotgut's steering wheel and tried to ram Thunder Clash off the road again. But just then, the sound of the James Bond theme was heard playing over a sound system. The two missiles attached to Thunder Clash suddenly were raised as the Autobot's trailer slowly changed into a missile launch tower.
The Fratellis were stunned as they saw Sloth, Chunk and Data in control of the tower.
"HEY, YOU GUYS!" Sloth shouted cheerfully over the loudspeaker as Data took aim with one missile.
"We're in deep shit now, Francis." Jake said.
"Holy shit." Francis added.
"Fire one!" Data yelled.
The first missile was launched. Mama barely avoided it as it blew a massive hole through a condemned building.
"If you don't want there to be a fire two, then get lost!" Chunk said.
Mama angrily stepped on Rotgut's brakes.
"Why do the goddamn Autobots always get the good stuff?" Mama yelled to herself.
"Yeah! It's discrimination against Decepticons!" Rotgut chipped in.
As Thunder Clash drove away, Chunk stood in the launch tower's window and did an adapted version of his 'Truffle Shuffle' routine, which ended with him turning around and baring his butt.
"I wish I could see it!" Mouth laughed, flipping the bird at Rotgut. "(Your mother was a toaster oven!)" he yelled in Japanese.
…
Timon and Pumbaa were on the top of the famous Symbol Tower in Sunport Takamatsu, enjoying the majestic view over the port.
"It's fantastic up here." said Timon. "Even better than the view from Pride Rock that Simba lets us take."
"Hey, ya think if we wait until night, we'd be able to fly up and see if those lights in the sky are balls of gas?" asked Pumbaa.
"I get enough gas coming from you, Pumbaa." said Timon. "Besides, I'd just like to chill right now. Let that Iron Chef's food digest."
"Yeah, those guys are great chefs. I'm glad they got their own TV show." smirked Pumbaa.
Timon glanced down into the port thirty stories below and yelped when he saw Babar and U-Haul Robot driving past the tower at high speed and taking the lead. Then he saw Karate Kat and Bubsy, having a stunt race together in their Autobots, Lione and Chuffer. They were followed by the dim-witted Larry and his pet dog, Steve, in their respective Autobots.
"Timon! Please don't make any sudden noises when we're up here!" the startled Pumbaa chided him. "I like the view up here but I'm nervous about falling off! What did ya scare me like that for?"
"We gotta get going! Our rule of Hakuna Matata is no longer in effect until we win this race!" said Timon.
The two animal friends headed over to the edge of the observation deck where Whirl was hovering ten feet above it.
"Okay, guys. Get on quickly so we can catch up!" said Whirl as he lowered a rope ladder for his partners to get on.
Within moments, they were off and right on their competitors' tails.
…
Hinata Wakaba and Sakura Kasugano had decided to take a break from the Gumball and stretch out their limbs at the Ritsurin Park in Takamatsu. Removing their shoes and socks, the two girls dipped their exhausted feet into the lotus pond, lying back on the green grass.
"(What a beautiful day.)" Sakura sighed.
"(I wish this day would never end.)" Hinata yawned, reaching her arms to the sky.
Apparently they were not alone. For other Gumballers had also taken rest in the park. Garfield was devouring his lasagna in a joined picnic with Grimmy's group. Snobby Karin Kanzuki was sunbathing at a private spot, with her Autobot, Sixknight, keeping close guard on her. WALL-E and EVE wondered around the park, hand-to-hand, admiring the beautiful pine trees. They stopped in their path for a moment when the Blackbird leaped out from a bush and started dancing around them. It then flew away and disturbed the cast of 'Fruits Basket' in their picnic lunch, dancing on their cakes and sandwiches.
Meanwhile, Shoma Sawamura, Momo Karuizawa and Roberto Miura were playing sports with their Autobot, Topspin. Their other member however, Natsu Ayuhara, was elsewhere. She couldn't help but notice the Lee Brothers, who were chatting privately with Rack'n'Ruin a few feet away from Hinata and Sakura. Judging from their gestures, she could tell that Yun and Yang were asking their Autobots for any dating tips they might know. But unfortunately, Rack'n'Ruin knew zilch.
And just when the boys finally got the courage to approach the girls, they hadn't realized that they had already left on Doubleheader.
Natsu smiled and shook her head. "(Better luck next time, guys.)"
…
In the Shikoku Mura open air museum, tourists admiring the old buildings from the Edo and Meiji periods were suddenly panicked when the monstrous Calibos showed up in the Mini-Constructicon. The brutal marsh lord tried to destroy as many of the buildings as he could so that the Japanese would feel the same pain and loss he felt at losing the love of Princess Andromeda.
But then, his Decepticon met face to face with Clipper, driven by Mr. Happy and Little Miss Sunshine. Despite both their reputations for being cheerful, they were decidedly angry as Mr. Happy activated Clipper's rock cutter blades.
"No one is going to destroy these beautiful buildings on our watch!" Mr. Happy said as Clipper ripped a couple of panels off Mini-Constructicon.
"Fools! You dare defy the son of the goddess Thetis?" Calibos yelled.
"I guess you got your looks from your father's side of the family then." laughed Little Miss Sunshine.
Calibos growled and tried to ram Clipper. This only resulted in more damage to Mini-Constructicon, who then took over control from his fowl tempered partner.
"I'm not gettin' wrecked because of you, pretty boy!" Mini-Constructicon said.
This insult made Calibos growl again as they sped off, with Clipper hot on their heels.
"I'll be VERY happy when we beat him in the Gumball." Mr. Happy smirked.
…
King K. Rool and Aist had managed to give Donkey Kong's group the slip for the time being as he sailed along the Naruto Straight. He smirked at his good luck...until he was caught up in the middle of a battle between sea witch Ursula in Tentakil and Dr. Octopus in Octopunch.
Ursula fired Tentakil's missiles at Octopunch but Doc Ock was more than able to fight back with the aid of his robotic tentacles. He fired laser blasts from them to destroy the missiles while catching a few of them, crushing them with ease.
"Nobody makes a fool out of me!" Ursula yelled.
"I'd say I'm doing a fine job of it, you great ugly lard-ass!" Doc Ock yelled back at her.
King K. Rool managed to slip through the middle of the two Decepticons and avoid the fire.
As he got ahead, he suddenly noticed that Aist was being caught in a strong current.
"AIST! What's going on?" he yelled.
"Did you get a look at that tourism website I recommended?" asked Aist.
K. Rool looked guiltily at a computer that had not been properly wired up in the cockpit. "I couldn't make head nor tails of how to wire us up with the Internet." he confessed as Aist started to drive more and more out of control.
"Then you don't know what Naruto is known for!" Aist yelled. "Whirlpools!"
And sure enough, they were caught in one of the whirlpools. K. Rool frantically battled to regain control as they spun around and around.
It was clear that they would be in this predicament for a while.
…
In Tokushima, the annual Awa Odori dance festival was disrupted as Little Dracula swerved through the gaps in the dancer lines on Grotusque.
"This looks like a real roodical shindig." said Little Dracula ecstatically, but then glanced towards his rear to see Buffy Summers, Blade and Saya trying to get past the dancers as well. "But I must be going now!" he chuckled as he took out his magic wand.
He used it to make a door appear in the side of a nearby shopping mall and drove through it, getting way ahead of the three vampire slayers.
"Goddamn it!" yelled Blade in Slammer. "There's no way I'm losing to a suck head. No matter how small."
"Well, I'm not much happier about either of you winning with your Starship Troopers mentality." Buffy chipped in from Six-Gun's driver seat.
"What do you mean Starship Troopers?" asked Saya in Scamper.
"The whole 'if they're vamps, kill 'em all' thing." Buffy replied. "Believe it or not, not all of them are bad."
"Well you would know. You dated one." Saya said, rolling her eyes. "But don't blame us if Little Dracula tries to suck you dry."
"Hey, I don't criticize you about your love life. Or lack thereof!" Buffy smirked.
"I've been in love before." Saya protested.
"What's Cutting Crew's lesser known hit song got to do with it?" laughed Buffy.
"Ladies, I think we have a major problem coming up behind us." warned Blade as he climbed out of Slammer's hatch and pointed behind them.
Ash Williams was seen flooing Road Hugger as his evil counterpart, Evil Ash, on Brisko, pursued him with his monster mob, right behind his tail. Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, Pinhead, the Candyman, Hannibal Lecter, the Creeper, the Djinn, the Jigsaw Killer, the Leprechaun, Reverend Henry Kane, Dr. Seth Brundle, Pennywise, Chucky, Tiffany, Sadako Yamamura, the Tall Man, Isaac Chroner, Patrick Bateman and their Decepticons were determined to rid Ash and the vampire slayers from the Gumball.
"Hey!" yelled Freddy Krueger from his helicopter. "Something ain't right here. Where in hell is that Lestat fella? Wasn't he joining in this race with us?"
"Indeed." nodded Pinhead from his fighter jet. "But I'm afraid our friend ran into some legal troubles along the way. Hence his absence from this story…what a burden."
Just then, Patrick Bateman's iPhone rang.
"Excuse me." Bateman had just received a new text message on his phone and took his time to read it.
"Save us your business crap and get back to the race, yuppie!" shouted Chucky impatiently.
"Yeah, who the hell is it anyway?" Tiffany asked.
"It's Anne Rice." Bateman replied. "And she's suing us for using Lestat's name from her highly acclaimed books, 'The Vampire Chronicles'."
"So what?" asked Seth Brundle, licking his lips. "Why should we be worried?"
"She's already dispatched her lawyers, and they're standing outside of Warner Bros. studio right now as we speak."
"Screw lawyers!" Tiffany scoffed. "We're not afraid of them."
"You wanna bet on that?" Bateman replied. "I got an attached video of her lawyers right here for you."
"Fine, but make it quick." Isaac Chroner said.
Bateman inserted his iPhone into his control panel and transferred the video to his allies for all of them to view. They were immediately alarmed when they saw stock footage of ten thousand Uruk-hai stomping and chanting at Helm's Deep from the movie 'The Lord of the Rings" The Two Towers'.
"Well," commented the Leprechaun, "now I've seen everything."
…
The Kanker Sisters were pursuing the petrified Ed, Edd and Eddy across the vine bridges of Iya Valley. Miles ahead on the road, Major Payne and Sergeant Gunnery Hartman were having a war game with Seraphim d'Ange and Space Ghost's crew with their heavy artillery.
Several more miles ahead of them, Ganon was having a cutthroat battle with Link, who was protecting Princess Zelda from her captor. With nobody watching, Zelda magically transformed into Sheik, leaping off the Ancient Robot, over Link and onto Ganon's Decepticon, Fistfight. She wielded her blade, ready to take on the untamed beast.
Other Gumballers appeared from the sky; Joe Musashi, Ryu Hayabusa and the Ninja from the 'Ask A Ninja' web show. The Ninja witnessed the ongoing battle below with Link and Sheik against Ganon, and he couldn't resist saying to them:
"I look forward to killing you all very soon!"
"You say that all the time." Ryu Hayabusa commented. "But you NEVER kill anyone."
"And you call yourself a ninja." Joe Musashi sighed.
The Ninja shrugged, making an excuse: "Hey, it's only a living, guys. If I killed everyone, then I'd have no more viewers."
…
Near Katsurahama Beach in Kochi, Gran had taken a lead from Hi-Q and Gripper. King Arthur and his round table knights were cheering.
"Onward, my brave knights!" Arthur yelled. "This quest to claim the Gumball Trophy will be ours to win!"
"Pardon me, my liege, but you're making a bigger fuss about it than you did about the Holy Grail." said Sir Bedevere.
"Did you have to mention that?" asked Sir Robin. "It was NOT pleasant getting dropped in hot lava!"
"Well, wetting yourself isn't pleasant but you have no problem doing that." smirked Lancelot.
"Oh, right! Like I'm going to be made fun of by the gay prince's lover!" said Sir Robin.
"Watch that or I'll cut your balls off!" yelled Lancelot as he drew his sword.
"Hey, easy." said Sir Galahad. "We were all a bit stressed after the Holy Grail stuff, but I'm sure this will go better."
They then all looked ahead and saw Dropshot up ahead of them.
"Oh God, not them again!" complained Arthur as he saw that his partners were their enemies, the French.
Most of them were standing up in Dropshot's bed, baring their rear-ends at Arthur's team and blowing raspberries. Their leader stood to face Arthur and laughed as Dropshot prevented Gran from getting past.
"You cannot beat us, you filthy English pig-dogs!" he yelled mockingly. "We belch in your pimply faces and urinate on your empty heads!"
Arthur fired a few blasts from Gran's cannon, but Dropshot managed to avoid them.
"You aim worse than you play sports, you fart-breathed badger face!" the leader replied. "No wonder you stinky weed Brits haven't won the soccer in over forty years!"
"Hey, watch it!" yelled Lancelot. "And the game's called football."
"I put my foot to your balls, Lance-a-boil, you receiver of swollen goods, you!" the leader yelled as he performed a little dance.
Dropshot began to accelerate far ahead of Gran.
"And now we bid you adieu and tell you to piss off, you filthy English Ka-nig-its!" the leader laughed as they sped on.
"Allons-y!" yelled one of the French knights in the cab.
"What?" the driver asked.
"Let's go." the passenger growled.
"Oh."
As Dropshot roared down the highway next to a high slope, the Decepticon Roadblock suddenly appeared at the top of the slope and pushed a huge mound of sand down on top of him, nearly burying him completely.
Dropshot was forced to come to a halt.
On top of the slope, the two Spies, normally employed by Baron Bomburst looked down at their handiwork.
"Qu'est-ce que c'est?" asked the leader indignantly.
"What?" another Frenchman asked.
"What is this." translated another.
"Un gros probleme." said another of the French.
"What?" asked the leader.
"A big problem."
It was indeed as Gran roared past the incapacitated Dropshot with the Knights of the Round Table cheering.
"Thanks a lot, chaps! Jolly good show!" Galahad cheered as he saluted the two Spies.
The First Spy was furious and hit the Second Spy on the head.
"You stupid fool!" he yelled.
"What? What did I do?" asked the Second Spy.
"I said 'take out the English fellows', not the French!" the First Spy yelled. "Now those cricket-loving morons will get ahead!"
"So? We Vulgarians don't like the French either." the Second Spy shrugged as the French began to dig themselves out. "At least we stopped them."
The First Spy considered this. "True, we DO hate the French." he said.
"Well we're not crazy about you either!" the leader of the French yelled up at them. "ESPECES D'IDIOTS!"
"What?" both Spies chorused.
"Remind me to get a French dictionary sometime soon." the leader sighed to one of his comrades.
"Didn't we want to learn Japanese?" asked the comrade.
"Only to insult people in it." the leader replied.
…
The skies of Kubokawa couldn't have been any more peaceful. The Little Einsteins flew gracefully across the coastal town, having the thrill of their life with their friendly Autobot, Alpha Trion.
"Whee! Fly higher!" shouted Quincy.
"You youngsters are so adventurous." Alpha Trion chuckled.
He rocketed himself higher into the clouds, but he came a screeching halt when Elphaba Thropp whooshed past his way, accompanied by the Vulture, Vlad Vladikoff and Slash. Their Decepticons turned back; fixing their aim on Alpha Trion, ready to blast the old Transformer into the ocean.
"Alpha Trion, look out!" shouted Annie.
"Fasten your seatbelts, children!" Alpha Trion said as he took a dive to avoid the gunfire. "Play time is officially over!"
"Destroy them!" Elphaba cackled menacingly. "BURN THEM! COOK THEM! FRY THEM!"
Thunderwing was happy to oblige and continued firing. Alpha Trion was lucky enough to avoid being hit. However, a bypassing Autobot wasn't so lucky himself. Doubleheader just so happened to be flying by, and was inadvertently struck by one of Thunderwing's blasts.
With one of his wings damaged, Doubleheader went spiraling out of control. Hinata and Sakura were holding onto dear life, when the latter's seatbelt suddenly broke loose. Sakura was hurled out of her jet, falling rapidly towards the ocean as gusts of wind blinded her sight.
"SAKURA-CHAN!" Hinata cried out.
Helpless to save her, she thought her friend was done for. But a sudden stroke of a miracle came when Rack'n'Ruin swooped right under Sakura just moments before she would hit the water.
Sakura opened her eyes…to find herself in the arms of Yang, safe and unharmed. Yun looked stunned by what his brother had caught. Yang was feeling nervous as his heart began to pound.
"(Well,)" he said uncomfortably, "(that was…a close shave. You okay?)"
She couldn't believe she was still alive, let alone that her dream boy had saved her. Hearts filled her eyes at once and she joyfully hugged the life out of Yang.
"(THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME!)" Sakura cried, snuggling her lifesaver. "(Don't you EVER let go of me! I wish this moment lasts forever!)"
Yun began to sweat drop while Yang's face turned embarrassingly red.
By this time, Hinata had safely regained control of Doubleheader and flew over to Rack'n'Ruin to pick up her missing friend and see if she could get help in fixing her Autobot. She got more than a shock when she found Sakura embracing the handsome Yang. It almost made her jealous…until she drew her attention to Yun, shrugging and grinning sheepishly back at her.
Hinata simply smiled and blushed at him. Yun's faced drop in surprise…until he too, smiled and blushed.
"What's your name?" Yun asked Hinata in his broken English.
"My name is Hinata." Hinata answered slowly but carefully. "Nice to meet you!"
At least there was a start in these new relationships.
…
As Maccadam drove out of Kochi, Michael Bannon noticed the Keeper up ahead of him, swerving wildly. Eventually, the Keeper came to a stop and Drebin got out. He was trying to fight off a Tosa dog, which he had tried to keep as a pet. But the fighting dog seemed intent on trying to maul him.
"I'm sorry I teased you with that sausage! Jeez!" Drebin yelled as he pulled out his nightstick.
The dog bit it and Drebin continued to struggle as Maccadam drove past.
"I told him a Tosa wouldn't make a good pet." Michael shrugged. "No offense to him but what does he expect stopping by a dog fight center to try and get a pet?"
"Maybe he was lonely." Maccadam suggested. "But now I bet he'll be even more happy with the Keeper as company."
"Yeah, 'cause the Keeper won't try to eat him." laughed Michael.
…
On the roads of Uwajima, Numbuh Three and Numbuh Four were grinding wheels against the Delightful Children, both sitting firm in their monster truck Transformers. Etrigan the Demon and Flintlock were avoiding blasts from the Violator and the Centurion Droid. Psylocke and Karai were racing head-to-head as they passed by the Warei Shrine.
Though further ahead, Leon Kennedy was trying to shake Jack Krauser off of his tail. Claire Redfield protected Sherry in her arms, praying that they'd get out of this situation alive.
"Lose him, Leon!" Claire shouted. "He's gaining on us!"
"Easier said than done." Leon replied. "That stubborn bastard just won't quit!"
Krauser stepped on his pedal and ordered: "Give 'em hell, Growl."
Growl rammed hard against Pick-Up's bumper, causing Sherry to scream. Leon slightly lost control of their Autobot and Claire noticed that they were about to drive into the Taga Shrine.
"LOOK OUT!" she cried.
Pick-Up crashed into the entrance of the fertility shrine and out through the exit. His partners opened their eyes to find that none of them was hurt. Leon let out a sigh of relief, but Claire's eyes widened when she saw that Sherry was carrying something incredibly long in her hands…so long that it stuck right out from both sides of their Autobot's windows.
"Um…Claire?" Sherry said, realizing that she was in fact holding a giant phallus.
…
The sun could be seen setting near the coast of Ikata. Hulk and She-Hulk were making excellent progress in the race underwater in their Autobot submarine.
"Nice work for today, Navigator." She-Hulk said. "At this rate, we'll be in Kyushu by dawn tomorrow."
"LOOK!" Hulk cried, pointing his finger to the ocean surface, where two Autobots, Alana and Fastback, had overtaken them.
"Well I'll be…" She-Hulk raised her brow. "…let's shake a leg!"
The Hulk roared in agreement.
Up above, Gimli swore that he heard a monstrous voice from beneath the ocean.
"Legolas, did you hear that?" he asked his friend, raising his axe defensively. "There's something following us from beneath the waters."
"You think that's strange? Then see who's overtaking us now."
Legolas was of course referring to the cast from 'Kung Fu Panda', who all happened to be talking anthropomorphic animals that had mastered the art of kung fu. Master Shifu sat at the front of the boat, leading the way. The Furious Five were at the end, gathering fireworks, much to Gimli's and Legolas' confusion.
Po, in the middle of his group, suddenly struck a match, drawing it towards the unlit fireworks. Their Autobot, Fastback, knew that he was in for one hell of a boost.
"Skadoosh." Po said before…
KABOOM!
The fireworks exploded and flared uncontrollably. Fastback rocketed away before Gimli or Legolas realized what had happened, leaving their faces blackened and covered in ash.
"Well…" Gimli coughed out. "…that's the last time I drink Sapporo again."