I
Maya remembered talking some more on the phone with Ritsuko-sempai while desperately wondering what on Earth was going on.
She remembered taking the train to work. Swipe card. Left, right, right, down the elevator, right, right, left.
She was too stunned to say anything to her coworkers or even really register what they said. She spent the morning in a dazed state of autopilot, as though she had been replaced by a dummy plug version of herself. She did everything correctly, but she didn't remember anything.
As the fight against the Third Angel unfolded once more, only snippets registered in Maya's brain.
"An unidentified intruder is still coming towards us."
...
"Every single missile hit the target! Aaaaaaaargh!"
...
"I understand, sir. We'll execute our backup plan at once."
...
"That was our last resort!"
"No effect at all!"
"It's a demon!"
...
"That is why Nerv exists."
"I pray you're right."
...
Maya was greatly unnerved (ha!) by the events. She still wasn't sure what was going on, but she guessed that she had somehow been sent back in time to the beginning of the fight against the Angels. She didn't know (remember?) how or why, but it was the only explanation that didn't assume her own insanity as one of its premises. And she certainly didn't feel insane (well, not very), although she supposed that was the dilemma: Truly insane people can't tell they're insane, so how did she know she wasn't?
Then again, after experiencing Third Impact, she was willing to believe just about anything. At least, anything relating to the metaphysical or the extraterrestrial... or to Nerv and Seele, and by extension to just how screwed up humanity really can be. It was honestly still a shock. It shook her faith in... well, everything, a bit. She didn't really know how to respond – which she supposed was the key thing, actually. She didn't know how to respond to any of what was going on. In fact–
"Maya? Hello?"
Blink.
Maya turned her head to look... and there was her sempai.
Suddenly, what hadn't registered before registered now–
"I could've suffered any humiliation, endured any torture, but he had already chosen... God, I'm a fool! Like mother, like daughter; fools to the end!"
...
"It's you again. How surprising... Our conversation is being monitored, you know."
...
"A loving daughter's final request. Mother, let's end it together..."
...
"Mother, how could you choose your lover over me?"
...
"...you liar."
–"Maya? Are you... crying?"
She was. She was surprised to discover this.
"Oh... sorry, sempai... I was just distracted, is all. There's some... stuff going on in my life right now." Technically true. Also kind of an understatement.
"Uh... huh." Dr. Akagi looked suspicious, but didn't pry.
"What were you talking about, anyway?" Maya asked, eager to shift the subject.
Dr. Akagi sighed. "Oh, nothing, I'm just a little exasperated. You'd think Misato and the Third would be here already..."
Oh. Yeah. I remember that. They showed up pretty late, if I recall correctly.
"Well, uh, I'm sure they'll be here soon."
"Yes, of course," Ritsuko said. "Of course." She bit her lip impatiently.
There was a bit of a pause. Maya knew that Ritusko must be annoyed at Misato. She was pretty much always like that.
"Er... sempai? Do you want me to go?"
"Huh?" Ritsuko blinked, coming out of her impatient sulking. "Go where?"
"To go look for them. Katsuragi, I mean, and the Third."
"What about your work?" The doctor narrowed her eyes.
Maya shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. "It won't be of much use until they show up."
"Well... I suppose so." Ritsuko sighed and turned back to her work. "Go ahead, then," she added, gesturing for Maya to leave.
Maya honestly didn't know where her sudden urge to pick up Shinji and Misato had come from. It just seemed like a way to get her mind off of what had just happened. The first time around, she had always been a bit in awe of her surroundings, amazed at how modern technology had built this place that protected mankind. Maybe she just couldn't summon quite as much reverence any more, but this time it didn't seem to be getting her mind off of anything. She was wandering through the Nerv labyrinth a bit absentmindedly when she literally bumped into the pair she'd been looking for.
"Eek!" Maya lost her balance and fell to the floor, letting out a girly squeak that was slightly embarrassing.
"Hey!" Maya looked up to find herself looking into the eyes of Misato, with a very meek Shinji in tow (was he really that bad in the beginning?). "Watch where you're- oh, it's just you, Miss..."
"Ibuki," Maya responded, still slightly dazed, shaking her head a bit to clear it out. "First Lieutenant Maya Ibuki."
"Oh, yes, right." The once-and-future Major got a bit of a guilty look on her face; Maya had a feeling Katsuragi probably still thought of her just as "Ritsuko's pet" at this point.
"You're Maj-... er, Captain Katsuragi, right?" The one who fell apart after Kaji left? The one who died- no, don't think about that, don't think about that!
"Yeah, that's me." Misato smiled without showing any teeth. "What are you doing down here?"
"I was sent by sempa- I mean, by Doctor Akagi to collect you and the Third Child." She smiled a bit at Shinji, but he shied away from her.
"Really?" Katsuragi's smile turned into a bit of a grimace again. "Uh, sorry, I'm still pretty new here, so..."
"Oh, no, it's okay. Follow me."
Maya proceeded to guide the two to their destination. Misato struck up some idle conversation, which Maya only paid perfunctory attention to as she stewed in her thoughts. Third Impact, her sempai, Nerv, Seele, the Angels, and even Misato and Shinji themselves were prodding at her uneasy mind. She didn't know what any of this meant, but it certainly must have boded ill. At the very least, it was ill that she was going to have to go through all of this a second time, since it hadn't exactly been a picnic the first one.
So, all in all, she felt a bit grim as she sat down at the bridge, prepared for a familiar scene to unfold in front of her. And it did.
The poor kid! Shanghaied into what was almost a pyramid scheme. Here, Shinji, pilot this robot so Daddy will love you. If you don't, we'll let this girl you've never met pilot it instead, and she'll go out to what will almost assuredly be her death. There's a good boy. You absolutely have to pilot this robot, only it's not a robot and it's your mom, and absolutely nothing else about you matters, so just sit in the seat and-
"Oh, god..."
"Did you say something?" asked Aoba idly (but quietly).
"Oh, nothing," Maya whispered back.
In truth, she had just felt a huge stab of pity for the Third Child. The first time around she had already felt pretty bad for him... but knowing what she knew now, it was far worse. She felt she ought to stop him from getting in somehow – only she didn't know how she'd even be able to do that, or what the alternative would be.
There isn't any, she realized. There's no other way to fight the Angels.
This thought didn't exactly cheer her up.
The rest of the day went the same way as it had done the first time, excepting that Shinji's first Angel fight ended a couple hours earlier. Somehow, time slipped away from Maya, and she found herself sitting at the bridge with Aoba and Hyuga, chatting about nothing in particular.
"So, what do you think?" Aoba stirred his coffee with his spoon.
"Of what?" Hyuga asked, stifling a yawn (he had forgotten to bring money for the coffee machine).
"The Third," Aoba responded. "Pass another sugar?"
Hyuga obliged. "You know, I always took you for the type to take your coffee black."
"Are you kidding?" Aoba snorted. "That stuff tastes like crap. Don't put any cream in my coffee, though. That stuff's for wusses."
"I drink my coffee with cream," Maya said, elbow on the desk, clutching her head with her right hand.
"Yeah?" Aoba looked her over a bit. "Well, different strokes. Speaking of coffee, you look like you could use some caffeine right about now."
"Headache?" asked Hyuga, leaning back in his chair.
"Oh? Uh... yeah." Maya nodded. "I feel sorry for him, I guess."
"Who?" Hyuga blinked.
"The Third."
"Oh."
"I can understand why, I guess–" Aoba took a sip of his coffee– "but I dunno. I think he should man up a little. I mean... that's not what I mean, but..."
"There's nothing for it but for him to pilot it?" offered Maya.
"Yeah. Exactly. I mean, what else can he do?"
"But he didn't even know his father very well before he came here," Hyuga rebutted. "I mean, can you imagine just showing up and being asked to pilot that thing? He didn't seem to get along well with his dad."
"Like I said. What else can he do?"
Hyuga looked a bit dubious. "What would you say, Ibuki?"
Maya just shrugged. "I don't really know." She couldn't decide if it was a lie or the truth. It was simpler, at any rate.
"Well," said Aoba, gathering his stuff, "Since there's no way I can even pretend I'm working anymore, I'm gonna leave now."
"Yeah, me too." Hyuga forced himself out of his comfortable position in his chair.
"Well, good night." Maya sat where she was and watched the two walk off into the distance.
When they were gone, she leaned back into her chair like Hyuga and sighed.
Well, what now?
She tried to think on that for a while before finally admitting to herself she was just too tired. She packed up and left.
I'll think about it tomorrow.