Chapter 5- I just can't get over how much I wish we knew you

It's strange how as I sit here talking with the adolescent version of Harry's father that I don't notice the time passing me by. It's amazing how much I suddenly want to discover about this boy, things I never even knew I wanted to know about him suddenly seems to be of utmost importance that I know. What's less surprising but definitely more heartbreaking than wanting to know this man who gave his life for a worthy cause is the fact that I wish I wasn't the only one who got this opportunity. I wish that somehow Harry, Ron, Ginny, the whole Dumbledore's Army, could have been here to learn all of the things that I was learning about the man who gave his life to help defeat Voldemort. I just can't get over how much I wish we had been given the chance to know him.

Somehow, thinking that, my brain decides to lose it's filter and blurts exactly that out loud.

His face takes on a pained cadence and I curse myself for not having better control over my mouth once more. Damn it Hermione!

"Yes well I can't over just how much I wish I was given the chance to know who my son has become."

Suddenly my brain conjures up a scheme so crazy that I am afraid to even entertain it any further. I push it towards the recesses of my mind and instead ask him some more pressing questions. Better to distract myself from that line of thinking before I go any further and say something we might both regret.

"When I return- to my time- is there anything you wish for me to tell your son, your grandchildren, your daughter in law?"

"Yes. I want you to tell him- them- that I wish I could have been there. That I'm sorry I missed out on their lives. That I wished I didn't have to succumb to the evil of our kind." His face becomes solemn but not depressed, almost as if he has accepted his fate and was consigned to the fact that he would never truly know his son.

"I will but, well, they already know that. I wish there was some way for you to meet them." The idea that had been playing in my head just a few moments ago nags at me again and once more I dismiss it.

"So do I. I also want you to tell my son that I didn't mean to leave him without at least one of us there for him but that I wouldn't abandon the cause if I had to do it all again. I believe that what I will be doing when I die would be worth it, especially now that I know that he turns out okay in spite of it. No one deserves to be treated like a lesser being just because of some perceived blood inferiority. That's what I want him to know about me. That I believe that everyone should be given a fair chance to live and I will fight tooth and nail to be sure that this becomes a reality, that when I set my mind to something I don't give up. I have a strong moral code and I hope that he at least inherits that from me."

"Believe me he does. All of those. Your son is the most selfless person I know. His moral compass is always pointing true north and no one is more determined than he is. But he is also extremely stubborn and independent. He doesn't know how to accept help and he's always trying to protect the ones he loves. Do you know how hard his wife had to work before he let her in, all because he wanted to keep her safe?" My mind travels back to the beginning of the Second Wizarding War when he would practically order Ginny to stay back at Hogwarts just so he wouldn't have to worry about fending off her attackers as well as his own. Ginny had been so pissed, it still shocks me to this day that she had forgiven him for that.

"He sounds like a good man. He turned out alright without us. How come? I mean I know you said that he had a lot of people looking out for him but...where did he stay? Who was the most influential? That kinda thing."

"Wow. I'm not sure I have enough time to tell you all of that. He lived with his aunt Petunia and uncle Vernon, Lily's sister and her husband. They only had one child, a son, close to his age so they grew up together. I won't go into detail about his time with them. After that he had Professor Dumbledore and my fiance's family to look after him. He learned about his true nature and nothing could stop him from fulfilling his destiny and becoming the man that he is today. Did I mention that my fiance and his wife are siblings? I probably didn't but I thought you should know. That was not an easy transition to make, let me tell you, but they both got over themselves and their stupid machismo and accepted the fact that you can't fight the way you feel. Your son accepted that he was in love with her and my fiance accepted that there was nothing he could do about that. His wife was relieved that it didn't end her brother's friendship with the man that she loved since she was eleven." I decide to throw out that random piece of information because the conversation was taking a very heavy turn. I hope that the distraction would be enough to change the tone of the rest of the conversation. I don't have much more time to spend here and I don't want to leave on such a sour note.

"That sounds complicated" he laughs. Finally, he looks more like the James I met when this whole thing started.

"Oh it was, believe me."

I let out a sigh of relief as I notice him relax even further. Gone was the brooding James who was angry at the cards he had been dealt and in his place was the jovial, life loving version that I had always heard about. Seeing him in such good spirits I finally understood what made Lily finally fall for him. He radiated innocence and a care free playfulness that you couldn't help but be intoxicated by.

"Why did you choose a stag? As your animagus I mean."

"Huh? Oh. Um. That's not really all that interesting of a story really. When we were working on the spell, and we had to pick out what animal we wanted to be...I guess I always had a fondness for deers. I saw this Muggle 'moving picture' once. It was called 'Bambi' I think. Have you ever seen it? It's about this fawn, well anyway, I guess I remembered it because the next thing I knew I was turning into a stag. Now I understand that I have some character traits of the stag. I'm an excellent swimmer, energetic, strong, sensitive to a point, gentle when I want to be, graceful, at least on a broomstick anyway. I'm a fierce protector, intuitive and agile. But one thing that I have on the deer is that I'm not skittish. I face all my challenges head on." The pride that shines in his eyes makes me smile. He was definitely in better spirits.

Those are good traits to have. And as he listed them off I realize that Harry has each and every one of them.

"You want to hear something funny? You just listed all of those traits and I can tell you for a fact that your son has them all. He really is a chip off the old block, physically and now I know characteristically as well. Oh and by the way its called a 'movie' not a 'moving picture'."

"I knew that..." he lies, terribly.

"Sure you did" I placate him. No need to hurt his ego on top of everything else.

"I have one more question for you. What are you most curious about, in terms of the future; my time." I know it's a cruel question to ask but I had to know. Maybe I could at least ease his mind on something, after all I did lay a lot on him in the nearly three hours that I've been here.

JPOV

What do I want to know most? I have so many questions but which one to ask?

"Am I limited to just one thing? I need to know so I'll know how to choose my question."

Her smile grows, almost as if she is pleasantly surprised. Hmm, I wonder why.

"Good question. I don't want to limit you. But I can't give you free reign either because then we could be here all night. So...um...is five a safe number you think?" She looks as though she is genuinely waiting for my response so I nod my head in assent.

So I can ask any five questions...

"Any five questions right?" when she nods I continue, "well in that case, my son's wife, do I know her parents? I mean would I have seen them around sometime?"

"Yes. They're from a very old wizarding family. Of course I can't give you any hints about who they are because, well, I just can't."

"Fair enough. I can live with that. So she's from an old wizarding family. Obviously her family isn't prejudiced or else he wouldn't be involved with her. But do they like him? It's one thing to accept that your daughter wants to marry my son, but it's another thing entirely to be happy with the fact that that's who she chose."

"They adore him. Trust me no one could have been happier than her parents when he finally proposed."

My heart is no longer pounding furiously and the relief that floods my veins is more powerful than I have ever felt before. His in-laws like him. That's all a parent could ever ask for, for their child. I've heard my mother saying that before and I never understood what she meant, until now.

"This one isn't about my son. It's about you actually. I feel rather interested in your life now. It takes someone rather big to take such a ridiculous dare and throw themselves into it so wholeheartedly and here you are. What was it like for you, growing up? Are you from a wizarding family that I would know? You don't resemble anyone I've ever come across, but I'm sure I can't know every family out there."

Her face turns a violent shade of red and I wonder if I've overstepped some invisible line. What did I do?

"I'm actually from a Muggle family."

"Really? Wow. What is it like growing up in a Muggle household? Sometimes Lily talks about her home but usually she stops speaking whenever I'm around." I'm sure my face is reflecting the hurt I feel as I remember how much Lily despises me. I know Hermione says we'll get married some day but, as it is right now, things don't look all that good for me.

"Don't worry that'll all change soon. And as for growing up in a Muggle household...my family is perfectly average, middle class professionals. It was pretty boring. It's just me so you could imagine how solitary my life was. Kids at school used to think I was weird, before I was accepted into Hogwarts anyway. I got teased because of my hair, because of my name...you name it and I was teased for it. But from the moment that letter came, everything just got so much better for me. My parents were super excited and extremely curious as to what I would be learning and how come I had these powers that kind of thing. The only thing that they weren't happy about was the fact that they couldn't brag about how special their daughter was. My mother would always say to me every time I got home on vacation that she always knew that I was special." Hermione's eyes begins to shine with unshed tears. I could see how much family means to her and it was obvious that the fact that her parents were proud of her gives her joy.

"Okay so I have two more questions, yes?"

"That's correct." I watch her mass of brown hair bob with the movement of her head and marvel at the fact that such a thick mass could move so fluidly.

"Good. Then what I'm really interested in knowing is whether or not the whole 'pure blood' movement has been defeated. I know for you to be marrying into an old wizarding family it has to be at least on a small scale but I'm hoping it's been thwarted all together."

"Oh believe me if it still exists it is so far below ground it has no sway whatsoever. That is largely in part due to your son- um, I'm not sure I should have said that..."

"I'm glad you did. My son? He- he's a hero? You said that the movement was destroyed in part by him...did you and your fiance help him?"

"That's way more questions than you had left mister, but since they're all kind of related I'll let it pass. Yes we did, among other people. We couldn't have done it on our own. Your son is most definitely a hero."

I register that her face takes on a rather peculiar expression but my mind is too preoccupied to even decipher what it could mean. My son, who grew up without his parents, is a hero. How is that possible? But I shouldn't really be shocked. From the way Hermione speaks of him he has to be someone special.

A/N: Does any of this make sense? Can you figure out yet what is the idea that keeps nagging at her? If you do what do you think about it? I cut it short because I want the final chapter (the next chapter I believe) to be about the nagging idea...

I hadn't planned on switching POVs but I had to...I just had to.

This took longer than I expected...hmm. I guess I was being too obsessive compulsive, perfection takes too long to achieve. I couldn't make you all wait any longer just to please my perfectionist tendencies. I've already started the final chapter. Yay!