A/N: Hiya huns! How's your summer vacations going?

People had always told him about how time heals wounds, it had been a personal favorite of those who had attended Alex's funeral, but that wasn't true. Time skimmed over wounds, trying to cover them up and hide them from recollection, but it certainly didn't heal them. A scar hid the inner damage, look at the Northern Crater; over two thousand years had passed and shown it to be no more than a crater, but the one who had caused it still managed to make life harder on the planet's inhabitants. The Northern Crater was the planet's own personal scar; healed but still weeping with a dangerously fatal infection. Time didn't heal, it hid and made people forget, making them vulnerable.

Time had even tried to hide what had happened here. So had President ShinRa apparently…but that didn't matter anymore. The man was dead, maybe that was a good thing? One thing he knew for sure though, if the man wasn't dead already, he would kill him. Crossing a line did not even go to explain what the man had done. What would have happened if Angeal's guilt trip hadn't worked? What if ShinRa hadn't decided to recruit from here, he'd still think his daughter was dead. She'd still think he hadn't wanted her…

Nothing remained as evidence of what had happened here fifteen years ago. No parts of the chopper, no sign of impact, any marks on the lay of the battlefield had long since been covered up by the changing seasons, washing away oil and fuel, growing over scorch marks, eroding scratches and furrows in the ground. ShinRa hadn't left anything behind that may even hint at its' presence. The only thing that enlightened him that this had been the battlefield where his whole world had come crashing down was the small plaque set into one of the stones; a list of all the people who had been lost there years before.

That was odd when you thought about it, ShinRa had recalled the bodies of their staff, removed any traces that the chopper had crashed, left a three year old in a strange place she had never been before and then simply left. Balamb's Headmaster had looked after his little girl, they had been the ones to clean up the battlefield after the remains of the chopper had left, they had been the ones to find out the names of who had died and they had been the ones to put a plaque here as evidence of those who had lost their lives.

At least they had paid respect to the personnel that had died. Genesis smiled slightly as he skimmed his hand over Alex's name. He hadn't had to speak to the Headmaster after all, just one of the Garden's students when he'd been leaving the school. The girl had been happy to help, giving directions and even offering to show him where it was. That was one thing he had noticed about this place, all the youngsters seemed polite, maybe it was only because ShinRa were visitors, but it was better then a school full of moody teenagers.

Waking up on the floor of Christi's dorm had been a fun experience, especially when it had taken him several long minutes to figure out why he had been staring at a bed as opposed to lying on it like any other normal person. He had also discovered that sleeping with your butt on a floor and your back against a wall was not comfortable, at least not when you eventually woke up and tried to move, painful was an understatement. He wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep, he guessed a few hours though, it wasn't night yet but judging by the quickly fading light it was already late evening. They were scheduled to leave tomorrow and any cadets that agreed to the terms of the transfer, if any were still in favour of it after Sephiroth's little visit.

She was still asleep when he had left, though on her bed; after discovering how painful waking up in that position was he had taken to initiative to save her from discovering the same, lifting her from the floor and onto her bed. He had also had to stop himself from closing her dorm door out of habit as he had left; remembering her reaction when he had attempted to close her bedroom door.

Genesis sighed as he leaned back against the large rock the plaque was set into, looking up at the dulling sky as he tried to take stock of the last few days. Things had kind of snowballed at a confusing speed since Angeal had played the guilt card on him at Alex's grave a few days ago. Was that all it had been, three days? It felt longer, how did all that fit into three days? Wilfully going to Balamb was something had even surprised himself. In all the years that had passed he had never once felt the need or urge to com here, the opposite in fact. Why should he have wanted to come to the place which had claimed his wife and daughter? Considering how things had turned out, maybe he should have ventured a trip here earlier.

The newly reunited father shook his head as he thought about it all. How come things like this only happened to him? Seriously, everyone else seemed to have the perfect little life with their husbands or wives and their kids, a car, white picket fence – and then here he was trying to piece together everything that had been broken so long ago – someone in the promised land hated him and he really didn't know why, there was no other excuse for it, no way this could just be luck.

He had had that life once though. He had been born into that life too, and he had hated it. That's why he had decided to join SOLDIER, for some meaning and something that actually presented a challenge as opposed to quiet little Banora and his role as Mayor's son. But he'd discovered that that perfect stereotypical life was an illusion, one that people fell into without knowing. He had fallen into, he had married the girl he'd always had a crush on, though he never admitted that much to Alex, she would have teased him endlessly because of it, they'd had a beautiful little girl together, they'd lived in an apartment on the plate, things had been so perfect, but then the illusion had shattered.

Alex had always been an annoying little brat when they'd been kids, constantly teasing him and pulling practical jokes. He guessed it hadn't helped much that he'd found endless enjoyment in calling her shorty. She'd despised being called that with a vengeance, but knowing that had only encouraged him; he'd received several dumb apples to the head for his teasing though. When Alex threw something you ducked and you prayed to god you'd ducked enough because one thing she certainly hadn't done was miss a target. She'd always had a deadly aim, be that with dumb apples or with firearms. She had specialized with firearms after making the Turk ranks, settling with two handguns as her weapons of choice.

So had Christi; or at least he assumed as much having seen the two lying in their holsters on a belt back in her dorm. For some odd reason, he found comfort in knowing that. She'd also cut her hair; when she'd been younger, Alex had insisted on leaving her hair long. Okay, he agreed it looked cute and all, but he'd had the honour of trying to braid it one day when Alex had had to be at work early – not fun. Not possible. Maybe it was only Moms that could work hair to do exactly what they wanted it to, but he certainly hadn't. A ponytail had been complicated enough for him to put Christi's hair into without tangling it.

Alex would probably freak if she saw their daughter's hair now though; tightly cut at the back, cut short enough for the teenager to spike if she wished too, but left with a long side fringe at the front, odd style he had to admit, but who was he to comment? He'd seen people with more crazy styles…the remnants were three, no actually just Loz. Christi had certainly inherited more of his genes in regard to phenotype, the same coloured hair, same pale skin, the Mako in her eyes. But that was about it; inside she was her mother through and through. Having inherited her mother's petite frame and steel grey eyes, along with her evident affinity with handguns, she also seemed to make quick retorts, not caring whether they were deemed polite for the situation or not.

Genesis smiled as he thought over all the attributes Christi had in common with her mother, they probably would have butted heads a lot if they'd all still been together. And then he would have got to play referee, either that or he would have ducked out of the way or gotten caught in the crossfire. Someone else in that situation would more than likely tell him of how lucky he was to have missed those confrontational years…but he wasn't. He hated that he'd missed all that, that he had missed all the milestones of her life and of fatherhood; introducing his daughter to her grandparents in Banora, her first school report, helping her with her homework, parent-teacher meetings, summer vacations, Christmas' mornings, scaring possibly boyfriends, threatening to make their lives hell when she'd leave the room, he had missed it all. Though he could probably still make some kind of move on the boyfriend front…

That was another thing, her grandparents. He personally hadn't spoken to his parents since joining SOLDIER; they were still alive, that much he knew. But he doubted if they even knew he was considering ShinRa had questioned them first in regards to his defecting. It wasn't that they were on bad terms, he didn't think they were. Between SOLDIER duties and missions, along with life in general, he had just never had a free moment to go visit them. The same went for Alex. They had only been able to inform their respective parents of their marriage and daughter by letters and a picture of Christi. He had meant to visit that winter, he and Alex had purposely booked two weeks off for Christmas, intending to spend it back at home in Banora…but then the crash had happened and everything had just gone so wrong.

The ground beneath his feet had simply disappeared, leaving him to fall slowly. Leaving ShinRa had always been in the back of his mind. He had learned shortly after making 1st Class that the company looked after itself and itself only. Its' personnel had been nothing more than numbers on a pay roll. When you signed a contract with ShinRa, it was a contract for life. The President had seen that as his proof of ownership, and if you didn't agree, then that was where the Turks had stepped in. But he had been cornered, if he had decided to leave ShinRa, then Alex and Christi would be taken as collateral, regardless of whether or not Alex had been an employee of the company. He knew the Turks wouldn't hurt her, she had started off as a Turk before being switched to technician, but if push had ever come to shove, she would have been transferred back; Turks didn't target their own. Few knew of it, but he knew Tseng had not eliminated Veld like he had reported, he knew that through Alex. Turks covered up for each other and hid each other, but they never harmed one of their own.

It was sort of ironic really, he had stayed with SOLDIER as long as he had in order to protect his family, his family had always come first with SOLDIER in close second, but look how things had turned out anyhow. He had still lost her. As childish as he knew it was, realising who Christi was had sparked a tiny flame of hope; if what the President had told him about Christi had been nothing more than a lie, then what about Alex? Was it not possible that that had been a mere fabrication too?

No it wasn't possible. He that. Unlike Christi, her body had been brought back to Midgar a few days after the crash had been reported. He had contacted her parents and his, but ShinRa had refused to wait the necessary two days for them to arrive at Midgar slums for the funeral. They had probably arrived a few days afterwards to mourn and pay their respects, but he had been long gone since by that time. He still wasn't sure why he had decided to defect from the company, he guessed there had been nothing left in Midgar to stay for apart from the company that in his eyes had as good as killed his wife and daughter. Only a handful of people had known he had intended on disappearing. Angeal had been one, Sephiroth another, and so too had Rika.

Rika…there was another person who hadn't crossed his mind in a long time. Wow, he really did have a bad memory. Rika, how could he have forgotten her? She had been a SOLDIER, 1st Class and all, how the hell had he forgotten about her? Moreover, how come Angeal hadn't mentioned her? Okay, he hadn't outwardly asked about her, but still. Rika was Angeal's younger sister, well half sister, it seemed Hollander had liked to play around while staying in Midgar. Rika had joined SOLDIER a year or two after he and Angeal had, working her way up to 1st Class only a few months after they had. They had all worked side by side for years before her connection to Angeal had come to light. She had been fun to work with, she and Alex had been close friends, she'd even been Christi's godmother – how had he forgotten about her? Genesis furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to understand his evident memory lapse, if Rika or Alex were here right now they'd hit his head or something…what about everything with Sephiroth though? Oh great, here came the guilt again…Rika had started off as Sephiroth's mission companion, being sent on missions as a team, but it hadn't taken long for something to develop between them…oh god, she hadn't even been a second thought in his mind since Alex's funeral, he'd been so caught up in his own head their relationship hadn't even crossed his mind that night in Nibelheim…and he'd just went straight ahead and shattered Sephiroth's illusion.

Oh no, why had done that?! Sephiroth hadn't done anything to him…he'd covered his ass when he'd trashed the SOLDIER floor, he'd kept his mouth shut when he had know about his imminent disappearance…he'd even tried to help him after the crash, so why the hell had he been so intent on hurting the man? He had gone to Nibelheim, he had read all the stuff regarding Hojo's experiment and Jenova and he had taken so much pleasure in waving it in front of his face, taunting the public Hero, watching as the man's mental supports had began to crack and tumble down slowly…why had he done that?

Why had he become such a mess? He hadn't been like this before…he hadn't been so cold towards Angeal, nor had he snapped at relative strangers because they'd simply been looking at him. He'd never been prepared to yell at a teenager for wearing someone's chains before…he had never struck out at someone due to bitterness before. He'd been so confused and bitter back at Nibelheim…he'd just seen Sephiroth and his perfect little life and had been so angry, why should he have still had his perfect life when his had been ripped away? Why should anyone else have been happy when he hadn't even been capable of that emotion anymore?

Genesis groaned as he snapped his head back, not caring that he struck it off of the rock behind. The SOLDIER swallowed past a painful lump in his throat as he tried to hold it back but failed. None of this was fair, he didn't care anymore, and this just wasn't fair anymore. Alex was gone, he'd purposely destroyed a man's life out of bitterness and jealousy, he'd abandoned anyone who had stood by him, and now he had a daughter to protect and he didn't trust himself not to fail there too. How had he managed to fuck up so much along the lines?

Alex had died and he had simply fallen apart at the seams, he tried to run away from his own emotions, telling himself he didn't feel them, telling himself it didn't hurt that much when it had killed him every single day since…the lump became too much to swallow past for the SOLDIER, he slid down the rock to the ground, his shoulders shaking violently as sobs wracked his frame – she was gone – and she was never coming back. She had been what had held him together all those years, she had been the one to support him when he'd been told about the degradation, she'd been the one to hit him for calling himself a monster…she'd been the one. And now she wasn't here anymore and he had to deal with this all on his own. He missed her, he missed her more than he would ever admit to anyone here, and time went by, it fixed him on the outside, but his heart was still shattered on the inside where nobody could see. He couldn't see it, most of the time he ignored it, but he felt it. He just wanted it to go away and stop killing him slowly, but the only way it would go away was if she came back…and that would never happen.

"Alex...help me, please...I'm begging you, I can't do this on my own..."

A/N: Thanks for reading!