Four

There is an old children's song that talks about a group of youngsters dancing and singing about in a similar fashion to what the Volunteers Fighting Disease used to do at the Heimlich Hospital before it burned down or onboard the In-Finite Express before a horrible accident derailed that train and it relates to how these adolescents would follow a leader wherever he would go high and low, to and fro and everywhere the wind blows.

Much like the song the bearded banjo volunteer played for Klaus only a while ago this song makes no sense whatsoever and is quite repetitive and annoying but it does not include obtaining a heart shaped balloon at the end of the final stanza.

The lessons both songs clearly teach is that it is foolish to follow someone because they have a good singing voice or because they are passing out heart shaped balloons cheerfully especially when the situation surrounding them is so dire that there is no need to be cheerful.

And the reason that I am mentioning this children's song isn't simply to inform you that if you were to spend a night at the opera and the play involved a chorus similar to this and to tell you to not go to that particular play but to point out the foolish of following a complete stranger, especially if you were already in a situation that called for you to be very careful.

The Baudelaires orphans were in just such a situation as they sat down on the bottom bunk bed in the room of the Quiet Car and examined a map that had just been slipped under their door.

And Violet, Klaus, Sunny and Beatrice were no doubt wondering if it was a good idea or not to follow the map as was directly indicated on the map in bold letters on the bottom.

The reason they were wondering was because of the middle orphan's recent encounter with Mr. Remora, Mrs. Bass and Vice Principal Nero from Prufrock Preparatory School in the Restaurant Car of the In-Finite Express, so they weren't sure who else might be onboard the emerald train as it continued on toward their destination, which none of the orphans knew because they had been following the instructions of their good friend Gustav Sebald who was following his instructions from a presumed alive man named Lemony who was following his instructions from his good friend who was following her instructions from her father who had come up with the idea one day while sipping tea and then experiencing a heart attack shortly after telling his daughter this splendid idea who relayed it to the dismal author who sent a coded message to the speech pathologist who passed the tickets to the Baudelaires.

So as Klaus, Violet, Beatrice and Sunny examined the map, they weren't quite sure what to do because there were so many questions that were on their mind already such as what connection their mother had to Count Olaf's parents and what had been inside the sugar bowl and why V.F.D. Used so many different codes and they now were forced with yet another question, which Sunny immediately voiced, "Who slipped this map under our door?" "I wish we had gotten a chance to find out before they slipped away," Klaus said.

"Was it a villain or a volunteer?" Violet asked and then added, "Perhaps the most important question is now that we have this map, do we follow it or not?"

This question was undoubtedly the most vital for the four children to consider because if it was Mr. Remora who had slipped the map under their cabin door then the Baudelaires knew that they would not follow it, but since it was also possible that their allies might be on the train as well, then the orphans knew that following the map might lead them to safety from Mrs. Bass.

But since Beatrice, Sunny, Klaus and Violet had no way of knowing for sure if it had been Vice Principal Nero that had slipped the map under the door, Sunny Baudelaire declared, "We should follow this map because it is pointless to sit here and do nothing."

"Besides which we don't want to be too late and lose vital information," Klaus added, alluding to the shattering of the sugar bowl which had happened during their stay at Lake Lachrymose.

"If I am reading this map correctly, its actually one of the train," Violet proclaimed as he looked at the drawing and that whomever had drawn it had made six rectangles that were drawn horizontally, one beside each other and within each there was a letter, from left to right, Q, P, O, N, M, and L and the rectangle with the letter L inside it was circled and the eldest Baudelaire stated, "I think whoever gave us this map wants us to go the passenger car that has an L on it?"

Klaus looked at it and said, "Oh this is based on the system that the In-Finite Express uses for their passenger cars. There are precisely twenty-seven passenger cars, each represented by a letter of the alphabet."

"But there are only twenty-six letters in the alphabet," Sunny pointed out to which the middle Baudelaire replied in a sarcastic tone, "Exactly."

"What is represented by the letter L?" Violet asked, which in itself is an interesting question because there are quite a few things represented by the letter L, such as limes, lemons, lice, launch pads, libraries, leeches, lakes, lizards, lights, lockers, letters, lions, ligers, lamps, lumber, lithographers, lexicons, luminaries, lollipops, love, ladders, Lumber mills, lines, leprechauns, leviathans, lookers, lighthouses, lopsided lampposts, lazy librarians, lost leashes, lackeys, limbs, lawyers, layers, lasers, lox, Lemony, luggage, llamas, laundry, lead, leather, legislators, lemmings, leases, limits, lobsters, locomotives, looking glasses, logos, luaus, lynxes, love potions, Louisiana, lockboxes, linoleum, lunchboxes, linebackers, leaves, and lettuce.

But none of these things were what Violet Baudelaire was inquiring about because she was particularly interested in the luscious letter L laminated on the letter that they had found and Klaus answered, "That's the Lounge…When Monday took me there she said passengers go there to relax."

"Radnelac!" Beatrice said which probably meant, "That certainly is an odd name," or perhaps, "Does that name sound familiar to you three?" Klaus, Violet and Sunny however were too busy concerning themselves with the mysterious map they'd obtained to be worried about the train attendants and Sunny stated, "Well I guess all we can do is head to the lounge and find out which passenger slipped this map under our door."

"We should avoid Mr. Remora, Mrs. Bass and Vice Principal Nero at all costs," the middle Baudelaire advised as Violet took the key to their room and placed it in her pocket, then reached down and picked up Beatrice; who would've much preferred crawling to where they needed to go, and then alongside her siblings exited the cabin of the Quiet Car.

The four Baudelaires all kept close to one another as Sunny opened the door to the next car of the In-Finite Express and together they followed the map they had been given thru the Neophyte Car, the Manicure Car and into the Lounge Car. As they entered the larger passenger car, Klaus and his sisters gazed around at all of the patrons who were lazing around the lounge and wondered which of them might've sent them the map that they'd just been following.

"I don't recognize anyone that we've met," Sunny commented. "Well as we have learned during our stay at Lake Lachrymose the second time around, there are members of V.F.D. that we haven't met yet," Violet commented, referencing the two Sebald siblings they had met at the Anxious Clown diner, Gustav and Sally.

"If there are V.F.D. members onboard this train I certainly hope it isn't those ridiculous Volunteers Fighting Disease," the former toddler said as the Baudelaires found a booth to sit in and looked around once more trying to see someone that they recognized.

There was a man reading an article in a fancy magazine, but the children noted that he had cut out all of the coupons on each page thus making the magazine not look so fancy at all, and there was a woman drinking a coconut cordial and laughing uproariously at some strange joke her companion had made and there were two women who were fighting over which of their umbrellas was larger and two men who were observing the scenery as it went by thru the window and there was one man off in the corner whom the Baudelaires couldn't see but seemed preoccupied making a drawing of something and had his back turned to the rest of the lounge and there was one of the train attendants, the dirty brown haired man; walking thru the lounge observing each person. Violet whispered to Klaus, "Do you suppose he is the one who slipped this map under our door?"

The middle Baudelaire looked at the attendant with the scar on his right cheek and replied, "I'm not sure how we would find out." Violet Baudelaire placed the map in her pocket and then bravely chose to go and ask the attendant about it.

The tall lanky attendant was pushing a trolley that would be quite large in any of the other passenger cars but here in the lounge he was able to swivel it with ease. He was pushing thru the middle of the Lounge car as Violet approached him and then immediately noticed what was on the cart, stacks of The Daily Punctilio's latest article which had the headline:

Baudelaires Burn Beautiful Bistro!

The eldest Baudelaire immediately realized that the train attendant was planning to give out this newspaper article to everyone in the lounge and knew that if any of the patrons onboard the In-Finite Express read the grossly inaccurate newspaper that they would spot the children right away.

And if they did find the orphans immediately then Violet wouldn't have time to explain how it hadn't been them who had burned down the Anxious Clown and Klaus wouldn't be able to explain how that the diner was anything but beautiful and Sunny wouldn't even begin to get a chance to explain that the café wasn't called a bistro, although that is a fancy way of saying "a place where they serve terrible food such as the one that was right behind the car that the Baudelaires were staying in onboard the train".

So whenever the dirty brown haired man looked down at Violet Baudelaire with his clean green eyes, the eldest orphan felt extremely nervous that he might notice her picture there in the article on top of his trolley.

"Can I help you?" the attendant asked staring down at Violet. "I'm sorry, I was just trying to find someone here in the lounge," she answered, to which the attendant replied, "Well everyone who is anyone rides aboard the In-Finite Express, most of them stay in the twentieth passenger car, where all of our suites are located."

"Do you know of anyone who enjoys drawing?" Violet asked, hoping to keep the man's attendant on her rather than on the stack of newspapers in front of him.

"Oh certainly I know a great deal of artists and architects and painters and people who think they can draw but don't really know how," the attendant replied with a smile. "Are any of them onboard the train?" Violet wondered to which the dirty brown haired man answered, "I'm afraid I don't know who is on this trip. In fact I don't even know who you are. Who are you?"

The eldest Baudelaire tensed and wasn't sure what to say and then the attendant nodded and said, "My sister told me that we had quite a few members of that silly singing group onboard the train, that must be who you are. Well, sister; I don't understand why you don't tell people your name it is rather suspicious especially when there are villainous people around and it's also common courtesy to do so."

Violet wasn't sure what he was talking about but replied, "But you haven't told me what your name is."

"I was just getting to that, you should also realize it is rude to interrupt an adult whenever they are talking… but since you are just a child I would let you off the hook. My name is Thursday," Thursday said and then smiled and said, "Now do you where you're going?"

This question that the train attendant asked was perhaps the most frustrating and deep question that he could've asked because Violet literally didn't know where she or her siblings were going because Gustav Sebald had failed to tell them before he jumped on the back of a fire truck and vanished from sight.

But more than that, neither Violet nor Klaus nor Sunny or even Beatrice truly knew where they were headed. Ever since they had been inducted as members of V.F.D. it became clear to the four children that the fire-stopping side of the organization was still not doing as well as the fire-starting side.

But both her and her siblings were trying their hardest to find out just what was going on in the wicked world around them since an entire year had elapsed.

Yet so far they had been too busy running for their lives from dangerous villains, authorities and fires to even get a second wind, a phrase which here means "get onboard a train where villains were not present so that they could actually get much needed relaxation."

So whenever the train attendant named Monday asked Violet where she was going, the eldest Baudelaire may have considered all of these factors, because it was obvious that allow the Baudelaires were onboard the In-Finite Express and they were headed toward a rendezvous of noble individuals, they had no idea where this was or what would happen whenever they got there; and might I add that it won't be pleasant. So really Violet had no idea where she was going or why for that matter, and she had no clear answer that she could give to Monday and was forced to respond, "I'm sorry but I don't really know where we're headed."

The dirty, brown haired attendant looked at her in surprise and then remarked, "You know I feel like I have seen you somewhere before." I

It was then that the oldest orphan's heart skipped a beat because Thursday looked down at the trolley he'd been pushing and noticed the stacks of magazines he'd been intending to pass out here in the lounge and undoubtedly noted the similarity between the picture in The Daily Punctilio and the girl standing right in front of him, seeing as it was in fact the same individual and Monday seemed to stare at her wide eyed for a moment, and was perhaps about to say something but he never did.

The reason that he never did though was because someone intervened and told the train attendant, "I do believe there are quite a few people looking to obtain this magazine back in the Suite car. You should head there immediately."

Thursday looked at Violet Baudelaire a second time before choosing to do as he was told and trudging off thru the train, pushing the trolley slowly as he went; it's wheels squeaking until he was out of sight.

Under normal circumstances, Violet might've felt inclined to thank the person who had told Monday to head to the Suite car of the In-Finite Express, but the circumstances for her and the other Baudelaires had been anything but normal since joining V.F.D. because now onboard the emerald luxury express the children were once again face to face with a very dangerous individual who would surely do them harm and Violet wasn't about to say thank you or anything else for that matter to this wicked villain who was now standing in front of her.

In fact if the lounge hadn't been so crowded I'm quite sure the eldest orphan would've wanted to gasp in shock at seeing Mister Dominic again and she definitely knew that their time on this trip would be anything but stagnant, a word that here means "being onboard a train apart from Mister Dominic."

Looks like the orphans are going to get a crash course! read and review!