Five
Termites are small insects that enjoy devouring wood. Some people tend to confuse them with ants, but this is not the case because clearly termites are termites and ants are ants and there is a difference, the main being that termites enjoy eating wood.
They are so small that it is often difficult to see them unless of course you happen to be right there watching them as they devour the piece of wood that they find so appetizing, and if you have ever lived in the woods or in a cabin or have been part of a secret organization who built its headquarters out of special emerald lumber than you recognize just how pesty these pests can be.
It may surprise you to learn that there people in this world who enjoy studying these irritating insects, although such people can be just as irritating as the insects that they are studying.
I recall once during the weekly afternoon tea party that V.F.D. held Olivia and I were discussing the advantages of training lions rather than salmon, whenever another associate of ours; who happened to share my initials, came over and began to explain how vital it was that we consider training crickets and termites and the debate we had continued for about an hour until Mrs. Caliban came to the realization that her daughter was missing and then chaos broke loose.
The man standing in front of Violet Baudelaire was not a termite, but he was every bit as persistent, irritating, annoying and troublesome as those bugs can be and much like the insects I have aforementioned; Mister Dominic tended to show up at the least opportune time, a phrase which here means "just about any time he did show up was the least opportune time"; in the Baudelaire's lives.
And apparently the callous counselor they'd met at the Very Fine Dwelling was thinking the same thing in regard to Klaus, Sunny, Violet and Beatrice as Thursday trekked away with his trolley and he remarked, "You children are just as irritating as termites; always showing up at the worst times."
Klaus replied, "We could say the same you! You're a foul wicked person who is always causing more tragedy!" Mister Dominic's eyes seemed to gleam slightly in rage toward the middle Baudelaire before he finally answered, "Be glad that annoying attendant is here in this lounge, orphan, otherwise I would be inclined to throw you from this train."
No longer feeling brave, Klaus slumped back behind his sister and Mister Dominic muttered, "How did you get onboard this train?"
"Gustav paid for our tickets," Violet answered quickly before Sunny or one of her other siblings made the mistake of revealing that Lemony had been the one to buy the tickets for them, because the eldest Baudelaire recalled that the fiend in front of them had some knowledge of this mysterious companion of Sally and Gustav Sebald and therefore didn't to risk exposing him to Mister Dominic.
"I should've guessed that Gustav would do something like that," Mister Dominic's traveling companion remarked, whom the children just now noticed. The children hadn't seen Professor Edwick in quite some since they'd escaped V.F.D. And were on the run, but the fat gray bearded scientist looked just the same as he did before, wearing the same checkered sports coat and also seemed just as uninterested in the Baudelaires as before.
"So then you're heading there are you?" Mister Dominic said with a nod and then commented, "What makes you think you'll make it there before me? In case you haven't noticed, we're all on the train together, orphans."
"We will expose you to Monday or one of the other train attendants!" Sunny declared to which Mister Dominic laughed and replied, "One of those insipid isolationists? You go on ahead my dear Sunny, but I warn you there will be consequences if you choose to do so."
The way that the wicked man spoke was enough to confirm that he wasn't joking, although usually wicked people don't tell jokes anyways except for ones that are so horrible and so terrifying that you would probably be awake for days and days sobbing in fear over these jokes. So the Baudelaires knew all too well that the villainous Mister Dominic was dead serious whenever he next said, "If you expose me to the train attendant I will simply do the same to you four children."
"This is called mutual assured destruction, orphans," Professor Edwick said from behind his atrocious associate and Violet, Sunny, Beatrice and Klaus knew that he wasn't joking either because they had heard of such things before especially during wartime.
During such treacherous times, whenever one kingdom or nation was fighting another; the orphans were no doubt aware that the reason the fighting ceased is because of each enemy agreeing that if the other fired on their soil or building that the other enemy would do the exact same and in the end they would both be hurt, and so therefore both destroyed; thus making the war rather pointless… although admittedly not many wars do have a point.
But what Mister Dominic and Professor Edwick were telling the Baudelaires was all too clear for them to understand, if the four siblings chose to alert Thursday to the fact that they were onboard then these vile villains would alert Thursday to the fact that the Baudelaires were onboard the In-Finite Express and it would be mutual assured destruction. "What's it going to be Baudelaires?" Mister Dominic asked, smiling to show his perfectly brushed teeth.
"We didn't see you onboard the train…and you didn't see us," Violet answered. Professor Edwick seemed to chuckle at this and he remarked, "Did you hear that, Dominic? I think the girl has gotten the picture!"
"They are smarter than they appear to be," the villain admitted and then leaned down to the Baudelaire's level and whispered, "If I were you I would simply go back to my room and lock your door and not venture anywhere else onboard this ludicrous locomotive."
Violet, Klaus, Sunny and Beatrice didn't have to be told twice what to do, and returned the way they had come without hesitation. They heard Mister Dominic and his companion chuckle wickedly as they passed from the lounge to the Manicure car and then the buzzing of clippers and the shouts of angry patrons at the barbers drowned their wicked laughter out.
None of the four siblings said a single word as they passed thru the three other passenger cars, until at last they reached cabin 778 and Violet took out her key and then the Baudelaires went inside and she made certain to lock the door shut.
Once they were inside, the children sighed in relief; glad to be away from the deceptive and deceitful Mister Dominic and his apparently evil companion Professor Edwick. The eldest took out the map that they had been following and stared at it for a moment and asked her three younger siblings, "Do you suppose Mister Dominic drew this map?"
"So that we would bump into him in the Lounge?" Klaus guessed. "But he did seem surprised to see us," Sunny pointed out as she let her adopted sister get down and Beatrice began to crawl around the cramped cabin as best as she could. "Well that train attendant certainly wasn't the one who did or he would've told us," Violet pointed out.
"Maybe whomever drew this map suddenly spotted Mister Dominic and then hid?" Klaus wondered.
"Or maybe it was Professor Edwick and he is only pretending to be Mister Dominic's ally?" Sunny asked.
"I think that is a stretch of the imagination, Sunny," Violet replied, to which her younger sister answered, "But we found out at the theater that at least one of the powder-faced women who was in Count Olaf's troupe was our ally, who is to say that isn't the case with Professor Edwick?" "If anything, he is quite oblivious to what is going on around him," the middle Baudelaire observed.
"I wonder where the two of them went to board the In-Finite Express?" Violet muttered. "We have no idea which other towns this train stops at, and Mister Dominic did leave Lake Lachrymose before we did," Sunny pointed out.
Klaus nodded and said, "I think the most important thing we have learned is that he is heading toward the same destination we are."
"Well we are all on the same train," Violet replied. "Elona," Beatrice commented, which probably meant "I would've preferred to be on a different convoy away from the wicked man" or perhaps, "We should just stay in our room like I suggested previously."
Whenever their adopted sister had made this suggestion before, the Baudelaires hadn't been listening intently enough; but now they had their full attention on their adopted sister because they had to consider whether or not she was right. "How can we be sure that Mister Dominic isn't plotting something wicked while we are onboard the In-Finite Express?" Sunny asked and then added, "He obviously didn't draw us this map, so that must mean that some noble volunteer did!"
"What are you getting at, Sunny?" her brother asked and the former toddler explained, "If Mister Dominic comes to realize that there are other volunteers onboard the train he may decide to do something foul…"
It didn't take any time at all for her three siblings to guess as to what the former infant was referencing and Klaus, Beatrice and Violet all felt rather uneasy at this suggestion, because they recalled that the dastardly villain had stolen the Medusoid Mycelium from Anwhistle Aquatics only days earlier and had then used it on Sally Sebald and burned down the dismal diner the Baudelaires had been working at.
So it definitely was not a stretch of the imagination to presume that Mister Dominic still had this dangerously poisonous fungus at his disposal and might choose to use it on the unsuspecting passengers of the In-Finite Express.
Violet and her younger siblings knew all too well that if their adversary did use the malicious mushroom that within an hour everyone onboard the train could be dead and Klaus realized that this sort of wickedness was right up Mister Dominic's alley, a phrase which here means "the middle Baudelaire wouldn't put it past their nemesis to infect everybody on the train with the Medusoid Mycelium."
"I think we can all agree that we don't want that to happen," Violet said as she sat on her bed and then remarked, "Maybe we should simply warn one of the attendants about this matter?"
"But if we do, then Mister Dominic will do the same thing," Klaus realized. "But we can't just stay in our room with the door locked like cowards!" Violet told the younger Baudelaires, and then decided, "However it probably isn't a good idea for all four of us to be walking the passenger cars at the same time."
The middle Baudelaire had been studying the map that they'd received under mysterious circumstances ever since they returned to their cabin and Klaus seemed intent on coming up with some idea that would surely save them all. Sunny, Beatrice and Violet all kept quiet as their brother examined the map and then finally, Klaus said, "This map has given me a brilliant idea!"
"What might that be, Klaus?" Sunny asked. "There is no way that Mister Dominic could be carrying the Medusoid Mycelium around with him, so our archenemy must've hidden it in his luggage," the middle Baudelaire explained. Violet and her younger sisters looked at each other in confusion and Beatrice muttered, "Nialpxe!" which probably meant, "Klaus, we all know that you are well-read; so we don't quite understand what you mean!" or perhaps, "That's all well and good, but how do we find that fearsome fungus!"
"I was thinking that one of us could map out the entire express," their brother answered.
"But what about Mister Dominic and Professor Edwick?" Violet countered. "We know that the villains can't expose us because if they do, we'll expose them," Klaus answered and then added, "We will act like we are strangers on a train."
"But you're forgetting about those three troublesome teachers from Prufrock Preparatory School! They could be in any one of the twenty-seven passenger cars!" Sunny pointed out. "I know that this is a risky plan, but if we find the luggage compartment we can try to get rid of the Medusoid Mycelium before Mister Dominic even considers using it," Klaus explained to his siblings and then added, "I know the most about maps, so I think maybe I should go."
"Perhaps you could do what you did before Klaus and use one of the heart shaped balloons from a member of V.F.D. to hide your face if you come in contact with Mr. Remora, Mrs. Bass or Vice Principal Nero?" Violet suggested.
"I'll figure something out," the well-read orphan said, trying to assure them that everything would turn out all right; and his three siblings desperately wanted to believe this. Because they all knew that the answer to their problems was definitely not to stay in their room with the door locked as Mister Dominic had suggested, although I'm sure that is precisely what I would've done had I been in their shoes; not simply because I am frightened of Mister Dominic because obviously everyone is but also because I am dreadful at making maps and also don't enjoy hearing termites eat wood.
But thankfully the middle Baudelaire was brave enough to consider venturing into the other twenty-six passenger cars and also smart enough to draw a map of the In-Finite Express and also unaware of the fact that someone had chosen to bring termites onboard the train, but would be aware of that very soon.
Termites are small insects that enjoy eating wood, and they do so nonstop especially if there is wood that they prefer; and if you find a certain type of these insects than you know that some types prefer a brand of wood that is a certain shade of color such as emerald and will chow down on it as soon as they can sink their teeth into it, as I learned not too long ago whenever I returned to Paltryville and realized that some of the termites had gotten free and most if not all of the lumbermill was gone entirely and shut down because of reasons I wasn't aware of at the time, because I was sorely missing my brother and had thought that he'd come here to investigate the murder of Dr. Orwell alongside Detective Smith and Detective Jones and Detective Smithjones, but had failed to catch up with my dear brother before his unfortunate demise at the hands of V.F.D.
The lumbermill itself had been entirely devoured by a particular type of termite that lived in the nearby Finite Forest and enjoyed chopping the emerald lumber from the trees that this lumber originates from and if my guess was right, were also the very same termites that had been so poorly trained years ago and were now on the wrong side.
The Baudelaires thankfully wouldn't have to shed any tears for the loss of their brother whenever he ventured outside cabin 778 and wouldn't have to worry about dangerous detectives or mobs onboard the In-Finite Express, but they would have to deal with termites very very very very very soon. Klaus walked out of the Quiet car to the Restaurant to speak with the attendant who was dressed like a smelt about obtaining something to write with and instead found the frilly haired woman was cleaning up for the day.
"Oh I'm sorry but the restaurant closes at three o'clock in the afternoon everyday," Monday explained and then smiled at Klaus and asked, "Did it take you this long to find the nineteenth passenger car?"
The middle Baudelaire smiled hesitantly back at the train attendant who was busy wiping down tables and then answered, "Actually I was wondering if you could direct me as to where the luggage compartment is at?"
"Certainly, sir; I think most of our luggage is kept in the Inventory car but it is against the rules to open any cargo onboard the In-Finite Express," Monday answered.
"I understand, I wasn't intending to open anything at all but was merely curious," Klaus answered. "A well-read person such as yourself would probably be that way," the frilly haired woman said with a nod. Klaus looked at her and asked, "How did you know that I enjoy to read?"
"Well everyone onboard our train loves to read, it's a simple fact. I'm surprised you haven't asked where our library is at," Monday said with a chuckle. Klaus' eyes beamed at the idea of getting to be in a library again since it had been quite a while since the last time they'd been to any archive whatsoever; and whenever he and his siblings had been at the Very Fine Dwelling they'd not had time to look thru the jumbled archive because an unfortunate event occurred, a phrase which hear means "please read the first story of the Baudelaire's terrible time back in the wicked world to understand how vicious and vile Mister Dominic is."
"Do you happen to know where the library is at?" "Well actually the In-Finite Express doesn't have a passenger car that focuses on books, because the Burning room is using the letter B already," Monday answered. Klaus' enthusiasm drained as she told him this and then the middle Baudelaire asked, "So I'm guessing that the Inventory car is only for luggage?"
"That's right," the attendant said as she finished cleaning the final table and replied, "But please be careful not to knock over any luggage because that could be rather disastrous."
"I'll keep that in mind," Klaus assured her and then trekked back to the Quiet car. He passed thru the Neophyte car and the Manicure parlor, which was also shutting down for the day and went thru the Lounge and breathed a sigh of relief; because Mister Dominic and Professor Edwick were no longer there and the lounge was actually quite empty.
Most of the passengers had apparently chosen to go to other activities onboard the train and Klaus wondered how many people were actually onboard the In-Finite Express. As he came to the other side of the lounge he passed to the next passenger car and nearly ran into another attendant, this one looked much older than either Monday or Monday and Klaus wondered if he was friendly or fiendish as he stepped in front of him.
"Where you headed to?" the man asked as he adjusted his apron and finished stirring his stew and Klaus realized that this was apparently a kitchen, which fit in with the odd system that the train adhered to.
"I'm trying to get to the Inventory car, sir," Klaus answered. "Well don't get in my way, several passengers of our train have requested my amazing sea cucumber soup and I don't want to disappoint them," the older gentleman answered and then went over to turn off the stove and added, "Just go thru the Junction car and then on the other side you'll find the Inventory. But don't mess with anything in there!"
"I understand," Klaus said and then asked, "I don't suppose it is too late to order a meal from you is it?
"Of course not! Never too late for a good bowl of piping hot soup! And I guarantee you won't spill any!" the attendant answered. "How do you know that?" the orphan asked, to which the older attendant answered, "It's our policy! We get you here to there, without the mess! Didn't you read the emblazoned letters on the side of the Open car whenever you boarded?"
Klaus realized that it would be pointless to mention that this policy didn't actually guarantee that no one would spill their soup but nodded and said, "If you could prepare four bowls of your sea cucumber soup I'd be very thankful."
"Certainly! Coming right up sir," the attendant said with a smile, apparently eager to finish the meals he'd been preparing. Klaus moved to the other side of the Kitchen car and opened the door to the next chamber which was oddly empty save for a map on the right wall. The middle Baudelaire went to examine the map in the Junction passenger car and realized that it was a diagram of the train he was currently on. There were twenty-seven rectangles all in a row from left to write, each with a letter of the alphabet in the middle and the one marked J was highlighted and right below it were the words: YOU ARE HERE.
The well-read orphan realized that this was exactly what he needed to use to map out the In-Finite Express, but also knew that the luggage compartment was only one passenger car ahead of him so he chose to examine the map at a later time. Klaus entered the Inventory car and was quite surprised to find that there was luggage everywhere, on the wall of the car up to the ceiling on the floor in front of him; all jumbled and apparently disorganized where that anyone who wasn't careful could trip and fall or knock over one of the bags of luggage and then be crushed by it; which will happen in this story.
The middle Baudelaire immediately knew that it would be impossible for him to search thru everything to find the Medusoid Mycelium and he felt his hopes dwindle at this realization.
Yet then Klaus understood that if he couldn't make it to the Medusoid Mycelium, wherever it was hidden; then Mister Dominic couldn't either. With this reassurance, Klaus closed the door of the Inventory car and then began to walk back toward the kitchen; pleased with this realization. The older attendant had just finished making him some sea cucumber soup and exclaimed, "Come and get it while its hot and spicy!"
The soup sloshed around in the bowl that he was holding as he put all four of them onto a tray and stated, "Did you find what you were looking for in the Inventory car?"
"Yes I think I did," Klaus said with a smile, took the tray; thanked the attendant and then made his way back thru the other passenger cars to his room. Outside the windows of the In-Finite Express, the sun was beginning to dip toward the western horizon and the middle Baudelaire realized that soon night would fall and he yawned widely at this realization.
Off in the distance he could catch sight of a wide mountain range that the train was apparently going to be traveling thru and thought back to his time in the Mortmain Mountains and how he and Violet had to fight off snow gnats and the middle Baudelaire was glad that here onboard the In-Finite Express such bugs weren't present.
And of course it is my pleasure to say that there were no snow gnats in any of the bags of luggage that Klaus didn't get a chance to look thru, but sadly there was a box which had the words: FRAGILE! DON'T! OPEN! On it and inside this crate that was obscured from sight were equally dangerous and irritating bugs that would make the children's time on the train even more troublesome.
Because termites are very small insects, and they enjoy devouring wood and a particular type such as the one onboard the In-Finite Express prefer emerald lumber… which if you didn't already know; the entire train was built out of.
what will happen next for the Baudelaires! Find out soon! read and review please!