Six
If you have a pen handy, I would suggest you take it out and mark thru a particular statement I made in the previous chapter whenever I assured that the Baudelaires would not be facing a mob while they were onboard the elite express that was traveling toward their unknown destination, because the very next morning that is precisely what the four siblings had to face whenever someone knocked loudly on their door and Violet woke up to see whom it was.
Opening the door slightly, the oldest orphan peered out into the corridor to see Monday was standing there in her emerald uniform but was no longer smiling pleasantly and Violet realized that something was definitely wrong. "What's going on?" the eldest Baudelaire asked.
"I'm afraid one of our passengers has reported that some of his luggage has gone missing, so we're checking with the rest of the passengers to see if they are missing any luggage as well," Monday answered and then looked into cabin 778 and spotted Klaus and said, "I recall that you went to the Inventory car to check on your luggage, is that correct?"
"No I was just trying to find the passenger car where the luggage was stored, none of us brought anything onto the In-Finite Express," the middle Baudelaire answered groggily, and had he not been so tired from trying to sleep the previous night he might've considered his words carefully before responding to the attendant outside their cabin.
The reason that Klaus didn't is because sleeping on a train can be quite difficult especially whenever it goes uphill or downhill or it turns or it bumps something underneath the tracks or it moves at all in any fashion whatsoever.
The momentum of the mighty metal machine that Klaus and his siblings were riding was so forceful that none of the children had managed to get a good night's sleep and they were beginning to realize that even though their accommodations were now reasonable; that it still didn't help them to get the rest they needed.
But the reason that the middle orphan should've thought carefully about how to respond to Monday was because of how suspicious it sounded to the attendant, who then remarked, "It seems rather odd of you to ask where the Inventory passenger car is at if you don't have anything there in it."
"My brother enjoys trains and it has been very long since we've rode one," Violet explained quickly. The attendant looked at all four of them curiously and then remarked, "I think that it'd be best if you came with me."
Klaus and his sisters knew that it would be suspicious if they refused to go along with Monday s the Baudelaires left cabin 778 and followed the frilly haired woman.
"I've roused the rest of the passengers and have asked that they proceed to the Lounge where Donald can question everyone," Monday explained as she and the Baudelaires passed thru the Restaurant and came to the Suite car and knocked on the door.
After a few more knocks, the train attendant remarked, "Usually this room is unattended because it is reserved for someone. I'm guessing he didn't make it onboard the train." "You'd have to be pretty wealthy to have an entire cabin car reserved for yourself," Sunny observed.
"He is one of our regular passengers, but oddly I don't think I've ever gotten his name. He is always in such a rush you see, and then locks himself in his room until we arrive wherever he wants to go. Very odd fellow, and usually I don't bother him but these are extraordinary circumstances," Monday answered and then pulled out a ring of keys from her pocket and began to fumble with them to find the correct one.
Once she had, the attendant opened the cabin door confirming that the passenger had failed to board the In-Finite Express. Then Monday opened the door to the next passenger car and the Baudelaires immediately heard the screeching sounds of a violin.
If you had been onboard the train, which I am hoping that you weren't, then I'm sure you would've recognized this atrocious attempt at playing the violin just as Klaus, Violet and Sunny did and even though she'd never heard the violin in her life Beatrice could immediately tell that this wasn't how it was supposed to be played and said, "Elbirroh!" which probably meant, "Whomever is practicing that violin should seriously consider taking up another hobby!" or perhaps...well actually I'm fairly certain that is what she said.
Her older siblings knew right away that the violin player was practicing to be the greatest in the world, and that he would never even come close to being that.
Monday knocked on the door and a gruff voice said, "What do you want? Don't you realize I'm in the middle of an important rehearsal!"
"I'm very sorry to interrupt you sir, But I'm afraid there is a crisis," Monday answered. "But I'm afraid there is a crisis," the man behind the door mimicked and then opened it wide which caused all four of the Baudelaires to stand perfectly still because as you may have guessed by now the passenger poorly playing the violin was Vice Principal Nero.
He was wearing his pajamas still, which was a shirt and slacks both covered with pictures of snails and he'd not put the rubber bands in his hair for the morning so the four tufts of hair looked even worse than they usually did and his narrow eyes glared at Monday before the teacher barked, "No crisis is so important that it must interrupt me practicing the violin!"
"I'm sorry but it's just as I informed these children, everyone onboard the train is being gathered to the Lounge because someone's luggage has gone missing," Monday answered.
Nero probably would've mimicked the train attendant had he not been staring down at the Baudelaires and the Baudelaires were staring back up at him.
They hadn't seen each other since the fearsome fire that the Baudelaires had helped Count Olaf with at the Hotel Denouement and Sunny, Klaus and Violet could immediately tell that the teacher from Prufrock Prep wasn't pleased to see them.
"I suppose my violin rehearsal can wait for the moment," Nero conceded, which is something he would never say; and Monday nodded and said, "Very good, I'm glad we have an agreement. Now where are the other two teachers who were staying here in the Teacher passenger car?"
Nero didn't even answer, his beady eyes were looking straight at Violet and the eldest Baudelaire wished that they would look elsewhere because it was quite unnerving for her to be stared at by this terrible teacher. Once it became clear that the Vice Principal wasn't listening to her, the frilly haired woman gestured toward the next passenger car and said, "I think there are only a few more passengers we need to alert."
"I think there are only a few more passengers we need to alert," Nero mimicked as they entered the next passenger car where apparently the attendants had gathered an assortment of junk.
There were strainers and top hats and treasure chests and door knobs and pillow cases and toothbrushes and vanities and stamps and flower vases and refrigerators and faucet handles and cords and one left shoe and light bulbs and blinds and alarm clocks and rugs folded up and plastic bags and notebooks and seashells and hair spray and one right sock and collars and vacuums and old tires and silverware and clippers and tubas and glasses and watches and neckties and rotary phones and pieces of armor and picture frames and camera lenses and spray bottles and canned soup and coin counters and one pair of pants and certificates and coupons and presents unopened and fruitcake and scales and blindfolds and tea cups and hazard cones and cups and spatulas and pieces of twine and missing buttons and puzzle pieces and crayons and pencils and stoves and wallpaper and xylophones and yesterday's news and quilts and kilts and weather vanes and turbans and pinwheels and washing machines and water bottles and chocolate cake and a garden hose and peppermints and hall passes and jambalaya and zithers and belts and rumpled shirts and just about everything else that the train attendants could fit into the passenger car.
In fact there was so much junk that it was difficult to pass thru the room and Klaus thought back to the Inventory car and wondered if this car served a similar purpose.
Even though both Monday and Monday had insisted that each of the twenty-seven cars of the In-Finite Express served a practical purpose, both Sunny and her siblings were beginning to wonder if that was even true. Vice Principal Nero remained eerily silent as they moved to the next passenger car, and Violet wondered what dangerous scheme he had in mind next.
The next passenger car was filled with members of V.F.D. all practicing their tunes and as Monday, Nero and the Baudelaires entered their leader; the bearded banjo player was saying:
We sing and sing all night and day,
And then we sing some more.
We sing to boys with broken bones
And girls whose throats are sore.
Tra la la, Fiddle dee dee,
Hope you get well soon.
Ho ho ho, hee hee hee,
Have a heart shaped balloon.
"I'm sorry to interrupt but I need all of you to come with me please. And no I don't want a heart shaped balloon," Monday said even as one of the V.F.D. members passed her one. "And no I don't want a heart shaped balloon," Nero mimicked.
"Is someone sick?" one volunteer fighting disease asked. "Actually a passenger is missing some luggage," the frilly haired woman answered.
"That is even more dire," another volunteer concluded. The Baudelaires were too busy watching Vice Principal Nero to be concerned about the missing luggage and too concerned about what he might do as they passed thru the Undecided passenger car where all of the junk I aforementioned was at.
They went all the way thru the alphabet until they arrived at the Lounge where Monday had gathered the other passengers, all of whom were particularly cranky to be woken up so early. Mr. Remora wasn't eating a banana, which was out of the ordinary and whenever he spotted the Baudelaires he immediately cried out, "I know exactly who is behind all of this thievery! It's those children! They would make certain that a luxury express like this didn't serve bananas!"
Just as he finished making this statement, Mrs. Bass, whose hair was even more disorganized than usual proclaimed, "These orphans have been nothing but trouble since we left Prufrock Prep! I should've realized Coach Genghis was right about them!"
"All right everyone please settle down," Monday advised as the clamor continued to grow louder. "We don't really know who took what, but we do know that at least one passenger is missing some luggage," Monday added. "I bet it was these bratty children," another passenger agreed.
"I bet it was these bratty children," Nero mimicked and then the train attendant with the hoop earrings said, "Is the passenger who is missing the luggage here?"
"I am," a voice said from the back of the lounge and the four orphans turned in surprise to see who it was. Professor Edwick approached Monday and Monday and adjusted his checkered sports coat and commented, "My termite collection has gone missing!"
"A termite collection? How very odd," Monday commented.
"How very odd," Nero mimicked and then added, "I bet it was these orphans who stole it! They are responsible for a great deal of troubles!"
"Excuse me sir but are you saying you know these four children?" Monday asked him. "Of course!" Mr. Remora declared, glaring down at Violet and adding, "This one was in my class and I do believe she never loved bananas!"
"You four do look awfully familiar," Monday conceded, to which Professor Edwick said, "I've never met these four in my life, but they do appear to be dangerous."
"Is there anyone sick on this train?" a volunteer fighting disease asked. "But that's not true at all!" Sunny probably wished she could say, but didn't get the chance because the noise of the mob in the lounge was growing louder. "But all of these people are criminals, not us!" Klaus wanted to yell, but was too scared to say anything with such a large group of people against them.
"But we don't know anything at all about a termite collection!" Violet no doubt wanted to exclaim but held back because the mob was already getting quite rowdy, a word which here means "ready to throw Klaus, Sunny and Violet from the train."
"I think I have a sensible answer to this crisis," another voice chimed in above all of the clamor, and everybody quieted down as they turned to see who had spoken.
Violet and her younger siblings probably would've been thankful under ordinary circumstances that someone had stopped this crowd from throwing them off of the train, but I'm fairly certain that none of the children were pleased to see that it was Mister Dominic who was striding thru the Lounge and smiling slightly at them.
"I think I have a sensible answer to this crisis," Vice Principal Nero mimicked, but one icy glare from Mister Dominic caused the teacher to fall silent, and the Baudelaires wondered how their archenemy was able to cause fear to all of those around him.
Sunny might've thought back to the dangerous villains whom she'd first met on top of Mt. Fraught, the devious judges from the High Court who were apparently Mister Dominic's close allies; and knew that those individuals had exhibited an aura of menace.
It seemed that their nemesis was apparently able to do the exact same thing because everyone in the room had fallen silent whenever he'd spoken and even Nero felt uncompelled to say anything or attempt to mimic anything further. "What do you think would be the wisest suggestion?" Monday asked, turning to the dastardly villain.
"It would seem that everybody feels these four children are responsible for the theft that this man is reporting," Mister Dominic commented and then added, "So the most sensible thing would be is for these children to be forced to search for the missing luggage. If they have stolen it, then they will find it just as easily."
There were murmurs of agreement from the crowd at this supposedly sensible suggestion that the Baudelaire's adversary had made and Violet tried again to object saying, "But there are certain places onboard the In-Finite Express which we can't get to."
Then Klaus spotted the older attendant who had served him stew the previous night and said, "You can ask that man! He knows that I didn't take anything from the Inventory passenger car."
The older attendant shrugged and said, "I've never seen him before." "I've never seen him before," Nero mimicked and then stated, "Well I certainly have and I know that these four children are nothing but failures! Especially the youngest because she was a sorry secretary."
Sunny knew that the Vice Principal was referencing her time as his employee, but also recognized that the teacher wasn't aware that she was now not the youngest of her siblings; but Beatrice was. The frilly haired woman turned to the orphans and conceded, "This passenger has come up with the most reasonable solution to this crisis."
The crowd had apparently chosen to agree with Mister Dominic and Monday stated, "If they are going to be exploring our fine train they need to have attendant uniforms."
The mob that had been ready to toss the children from the In-Finite Express began to disperse and soon only the troublesome teachers from Prufrock Prep, Monday, Thursday, Professor Edwick and Mister Dominic were in the Lounge, as the others chose to return to their rooms, and even the V.F.D. members had finished singing their song and passing out all of their heart shaped balloons and left the room.
"It looks like you should thank this man for sticking his neck out for you four," Monday commented and then she and her associate went off to get a uniform for each of them.
"Why did you do this?" Violet asked Mister Dominic.
"Why did you do this," Vice Principal Nero mimicked to which Mister Dominic snarled, "Shut up, you twit." The teacher was apparently going to say something else, but wisely chose not to as the dastardly villain smiled at Violet and proclaimed, "My associates and I have a lot of work that we want to do onboard this luxurious locomotive and we can't have a mob of people breathing down our throats while we do it. The loss of our trained termites is a setback for us and we need you to find them for us."
"You mean someone did steal them?" Klaus asked in surprise.
"Of course, do you think I'd fib?" Professor Edwick asked. "They must've stolen the bananas as well," Mr. Remora concluded. "I think we've already that if you help us we won't alert the train attendants as to who you four are," Mister Dominic commented and then Sunny asked, "What is it you want us to do?"
"We're going to rob this train, you idiots," Mrs. Bass commented and then Mister Dominic nodded and stated, "And you four orphans are going to help us."
Trouble is going at full speed for the orphans! stay tuned to see what happens next! read and review please!