(Pre-story) A/N: Woot update! Who likes it?! No one, okay then. But you're getting it anyway NARHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Thanks again to my beta Mitchel! ALL BOW TO HIS GREATNESS!!
Disclaimer: Look at the first chapter…says it all right there.
Warning: Just a bit of swearing.
---The Black Chocobo: The Rewrite---
The next morning, Noodle found Zack lying on top of him. Noodle smiled, stood up and Zack flopped off and hit his head on the stone surface. Zack groaned. So much for having a nice sleep, eh?
"Hmm, young Zack, you should get up. The sun is greeting us to another wonderful day." Noodle spoke with such grace.
"I don't wanna get up yet. Go back down sun." Zack spoke as if it were a bit muffled. He moved into another position to get comfortable not paying mind to the pain pulsing through his head.
Noodle had a disappointed look upon his face, caused by Zack's lazy reaction. He moved to the water basin and scooped up water into his mouth and moved towards Zack. He dropped the water on Zacks head.
The ebony chocobo opened his violet eyes as he was startled. Who would of thought that Noodle would of done that to him! Meh, he didn't even know Noodle for a day. Zack got up and glared at him, while shaking the remnants of water from his head.
"What was that for Noodle? I thought you were nice!" Zack kept glaring at him. Before Noodle could answer, Azure stuck his head around the side.
"Good morning Noodle and Zack! Let us all say hello to the great sun in the sky that is shining down on us! All hail the great and glorious sun! Ah ha!" Azure yelled. Zack turned his glare to him.
"Ahh, I see we don't have a morning chocobo. Aww no matter, Choco Bill will be here soon to check on you. Better look nice, Bill doesn't like unclean chocobos… Oh look, food time!" Azure turned his head back into his own pen to dig in to eat the greens that had been placed there whilst he was talking to Noodle and Zack. Noodle looked at Zack and Zack shrugged.
Noodle examined Zack with a critical eye. Even though he may be a breeder chocobo, he was a master at making chocobos look fabulous. He walked towards Zack and started to clean him up with his beak.
"What are you doing Noodle?" Zack said as he tried to move away, but Noodle blocked his path.
"I am going to make you look pretty. You got pieces of hay, dirt and the odd feather that needs to come out because it looks atrocious." Noodle explained, picking off hay from inside Zack's plumage.
"How do you know which feathers are bad or not?" Zack asked. They all looked the same to him. Noodle looked towards him.
"I wonder if the Fangs muddled with you head… Anyway, you see these feathers, they're beyond repair from grooming, and they must come out." Noodle said, taking the feather in his beak and pulling it out. Zack let out an ear bleeding 'wark' before cradling the spot of where the feather had been. He gave Noodle a pitiful look.
"Sorry Zack, but it had to come out. It was a dreadful site to view. But look at it now, it is wonderful." Noodle said putting on a choco-smile. Zack looked down. It was true. Since the odd feather was gone, the area around where it used to be looked nice and shiny. Zack found another broken feather and clamped his beak around it. He pulled it out. Zack winced but refrained from making a sound.
"When you start pulling feathers out for as long as I, you get used to the pain. Wild chocobo, such as yourself, don't actually learn this trick out in the wild because you're usually not displayed in Chocobo shows, but since you are now on a farm, it's good to teach you. Also, unclean chocobos here, if they need to be taken else where are usually manhandled. A couple of chocobo before had been like that, I can tell you, you do not want to be ending up like them. So after I had seen that event, I had told myself that I'd never want to see that again and will tell every new chocobo how to properly look after themselves. And luckily for you, you ask the questions before I may even have the pleasure to answer." Noodle explained, then let out a slight laugh.
Zack's eyes widened. He didn't want to be manhandled! Back when he was in SOLDIER he hated when Angeal picked him up and then placed him on his shoulder and carried him around like he was a pillow. Even though Zack did that to some people, he hated it being done to him. Call him hypocrite but it's true. He remembered how it all started. He didn't want to train in swimming because Angeal had said that he needed to be faster in there. The reason why was because he had a nice new cut on his leg that he didn't tell him about. What could Zack say? Zack decided he'd try juggling and noted the three kitchen knives Angeal and told him not to touch. Zack disobeyed him and started to juggle them like the disobedient boy he was, and a knife slipped out of his hand. The knife sliced into his leg and blood gushed out. The wound wasn't deep, but it hurt none the less. He made it stop bleeding and quickly cleaned up the floor before Angeal got home from a meeting. Angeal didn't notice Zacks new limp. So now Zack was cowering into the corner whimpering from Angeal's wrath and the chemical infested water in the pool. Angeal made a sudden dash to Zack, and before the teenager could even move, picked him up and threw him over his shoulder. Zack was trying to twist his way out of Angeal's grasp but to no avail. Angeal slapped him on the bottom. Zack stopped all his commotion and glared at Angeal questioningly. Angeal had simply replied, 'you were being a naughty puppy'. Before the spiky headed man could reply, Angeal threw him into the pool. Zack came back up gasping for air. He soon felt the excruciating pain spreading all around his leg. He screamed out in agony and jumped out of the pool, crying his eyes out and screaming in pain as he held his leg. Angeal quickly ran to Zacks side to see what the problem was. He soon noticed blood seeping through Zacks pants and quickly ripped the pants in that spot, noticing a slice with a stream of blood coming from it. Angeal quickly picked Zack off and ran to the medical wing. When Zack was healed enough to get out of there, Angeal gave him a nice long lecture.
Zack started to groom himself as Noodle corrected him on some spots. Azure poked his head from the side.
"Hey guess what I just found out?" The blue chocobo said.
"What did you just find out, Azure?" The yellow chocobo asked. Zack was too busy trying to pull a distorted feather out of his wing. He got it out, whimpered a little, and then started to preen the area to lessen the pain.
"I found out that my owner is coming soon! I'm so excited! I finally get to run around out there and away from your horny ass! Oh, and Zack, Choco Bills-a-comin'!" Azure said, before moving back into his own pen.
Zack stood and shook himself.
"I hope you are ready Zack. Your first examination… must be exciting for you!" Noodle spoke.
"Not really. Wait, Bill just said that his gonna check if I have a number." Zack replied and looked down.
"Well, he's going to find out that you have no tag and so he'll give you a check up."
"Okay, a check up…what does a 'check up' usually involve?" The ebony chocobo asked.
"You will soon find out young one." Noodle said before he moved to the greens that had been equally shared out between him and Zack, who ate his half.
Zack poked his head out of the pen and looked around. There had been other chocobos in other pens talking to each other. He soon looked over to Floss. The fat chocobo had a look of disappointment on his face for having no greens.
"You might want to move your head away from poor Floss or he'll start squawking his beak off at you. We don't want that happening now, do we?" Noodle said before returning to his greens. Zack quickly averted his head away from the big bird.
He looked around at the other stalls. The females had been placed on the other side of the barn while, the males have been placed on the side Zack was on. A cage near the front of the barn contained the newly born Chocobo. They looked like small fluffy balls running around. Zack suddenly felt like doing a cannonball upon them. They looked as if they'd break his fall. He looked back at Noodle and found him standing beside him, also looking at the small bundles of feathers. Was he thinking the same mischievous thoughts he was? If he was, then that was a little out of his character, but awesome. Zack would have expected Azure to be thinking the same thoughts as him, not Noodle.
"Ahh blessed little things, are they not? There the new batch that hatched last week," Damn, he wasn't thinking the same thoughts. "Two pens down this one is one of the loving fathers of the batch, Logi. He is also a breeder. The other father is out at some place called 'Gold Saucer'. If you ask me, those humans are quite a unique-brained lot but they are lovely creatures to be around. But a bit of advice since you seem lost on everything; do not go around the hatchlings with a female around you. They will pick every single feather off your head. That nitwit Azure got too close to them with a female around and got his crown plucked from his head. He did not really feel like talking about it for weeks. Quite hilarious site to see, actually." Noodle let out a, what Zack would call it, a nose laugh. Zack nodded.
Zack soon heard a voice coming closer to the pen he and Noodle were in. It was unmistakably Chocobo Bill. Noodle wished him good luck and moved to the other side of the stall, as Bill opened up the pen.
"Ah, ta beauty black chocobo." Bill exclaimed, and opened his arms as to hug Zack, while he chewed on a piece of straw. Zack 'Kweh'ed.
"Yer just come wit' me now and we' git yer checked up on." Zack moved towards Bill. The man threw a rope around Zack's neck like the day before, and left it lose. Zack followed Bill out of the barn to walk around it to reveal a paddock. It had a few chocobos running around out there, or eating the green grass. Bill stopped and took the lasso off Zack's neck.
"Well lets see if yer gots a number on yer." Bill pushed up a couple of feathers on the base of Zacks spine to find no numbers.
"Ah ha! A wild black chocobo! Yer lot are quite rare 'round these bits. I think I'll keep yer to be a breeder." Bill did a little victory dance on the spot, sporting a smile on his face. "Well since yer ain't got no number on yer, I'll tag yer tomorrow." Zacks eyes widened. He did NOT want to be numbered! No way in Ifrit's hells or Shiva's ice castle! Bill still had a smile on his face.
"Now ter see if yer a girl or boy." Zack tried to move away. This man was freaking him out! He didn't want some old man touching his penis, even if he was a chocobo, it was going to be a no. He would kick the man away and run for it before the man got a stare at his manhood…chocobohood…whatever, it was the same organ. Zack was about to flee when Bill looked below his butt and moved a few feathers away. Zack froze.
"Ah, a boy! Wondered why Noodle didn't git yer yet." Bill spoke.
No way. No bloody way. The old perverted man just took at peek at his cock! That fucker! No one looks at Ex-SOLDIER First Class Zackary Fairs cock WITHOUT his permission! Zack slowly turned his head towards Bill with a glare stuck on his face. Bill just thought he was halfway blinking.
"Yer gonna need a name. Hmm what 'bout 'Onyx'? Yeah, that 'ill fit nicely wit' yer." Bill nodded putting a lasso around the still glaring Zack. When Bill was just about to move away, Zack warked angrily and latched on some hair on Bills head and pulled. 'Yeah that's right you perverted old farmer guy! Try and grow some hair on that new shining bald patch. That's what you get even you stare at my penis without thy permission! Narhaha!' Zack choco-smiled and did a little victory dance for himself and Bill moaned and groaned in pain and was rubbing the new, and Zack approved, bald patch on the top of his head.
Bill mumbled something about some chocobos being stupid and walked Zack towards the front of the barn. When Zack entered, he heard a little voice call for him. Zack stopped and looked down. One of the baby chocobos was saying something to him. Bill looked back and stopped so Zack could see them. He didn't want an extra bald patch on his head.
"Father?" One of the little chocobos said. Zack tilted his head. Five other chocobos around the little one looked at him.
"Papa?"
"Daddy?"
"Pa?"
"Dada?"
"Mummy?"
Zack Choco-smiled and leaned down to nuzzle the babies. Four more looked their way, wobbled up and tried to nuzzle, cuddle and Choco-kiss their 'Father'. He soon moved back up and the baby chocobos started to jump around to get Zacks attention back.
"Okay kiddos, I'm not your father." Zack looked at them.
One stopped jumping and looked like it was about to cry, "You not papa?" That one looked at the others and they all started crying out loud. Zack couldn't bear to see the babies cry so he told them want they wanted to hear.
"I'm only joking kids, of course I'm your pa. Could you ever ask for someone better?" Zack choco-smiled. Well, it was fine to play around until their real chocobo fathers came right?
As soon as Zack said that, all crying sceased and high pitch warks and kwehs could be heard. Zack let out a heartfelt laugh as he continued to nuzzle the babies. To think, he wanted to cannon ball them before.
"Well, it's time for me to go bubs! Don't forget me now ahaha!"
Zack stood at full height and walked over to Bill. The man still didn't look happy. He was still half covering his new bald patch with the hand that wasn't holding the end of the rope. Zack started to walk to the pen Noodle was located in, but stopped in front of Azure's stall wide-eyed.
Azure never mentioned his owners' name. Now Zack and found out, he felt like glomping the man who was the Owner. It was Kunsel. Zack couldn't believe it! He thought he died at the fall of meteor. And here the man was feeding Azure some Greens, as he put the saddle on top of Azure with a slight smile on his face. Zack suddenly let out a loud but excited 'Kweh' and ran over to Kunsel. The man turned wide eyed and put his arms up as to protect himself from an expected crash. It didn't come.
He opened his eyes to see the ebony chocobos head leveled with his. Zacks beak was open with his tongue flopping out one side and panting like a dog. Kunsel put on an uneasy smile and patted the top of the chocobo head unsurely. The chocobo started to wark very weirdly.
"Wa-wark. Wa-wark? WA-WARK!" Zack warked at Kunsel.
"Umm, good chocobo?" Kunsel said. He looked over to Chocobo Bill who just shrugged
"Wa-wark wa-wark wa-wark wa-wark." Zack said continuously, waving his head side to side. He was trying to say Kunsel.
"Yo Zack," Zack looked towards Azure and stopped his warking. "You know my owner?" Azure asked.
"Hell yeah I know Kunsel! His like one of the greatest best friends you could ever ask for!" Zack spoke enthusiastically.
Azure just gave Zack a look and nodded slowly. Zack nuzzled Kunsel, who also gave Zack a weird look, then moved out of the stall and walked to the next one with Noodle.
Kunsel moved Azure out of his stall and hopped on top of him. Kunsel looked at Zack and noticed that the chocobo had a cross scar on its left cheek. Kunsel narrowed his eyes in thought. Why did that scar look so familiar. He shrugged it off and waved bye to chocobo Bill as he was putting Zack back in with Noodle.
Noodle smiled at Zack.
"How was the check up Zack?" Asked Noodle.
"He looked at my penis." said Zack as he moved to eat some greens. Man, he could really go for some chocolate right now.
"Well how else could he tell your gender?" Said the yellow one. Zack looked up from his food and moved his head towards Noodle.
"True. But still, it was disturbing!" Zack said. He raised his voice when he said 'disturbing' as to prove the point, and then moved back to his bundle of greens. Noodle nodded as if trying to understand. What was so wrong about wanting to check what sex you were? Noodle shook his head as he looked towards Zack. The ebony chocobo sure was a weird one.
Noodle just walked over to the hay stack, sat down, and started to groom himself.
--
It was raining in Edge when Cloud Strife woke up. It wasn't thunderous though, just a light sprinkle. He had slept in the same position so his left arm, leg and neck were stiff. He groaned and sat up. He moved his head back and forth trying to get the ache away. Cloud cracked an eye open and looked towards the red numbering of his alarm clock. Four AM. He got up and got ready to start the day's deliveries. He would have woke up at six am but he wanted to avoid Melinda…that scary fangirl. He shuddered as he brushed his teeth.
When he was ready, he walked down stairs quietly trying not to wake Tifa or the kids. He noticed that Fenrir wasn't out side in the rain. Tifa must of pushed her in the garage when he was asleep upstairs. Bless that woman really. He would of married her if he rode that boat. Pity.
He went out side, after he checked Melinda wasn't around, and quickly walked to the garage. He quietly opened it and turned the lights on to see his beautiful bike shining in the artificial light cast upon it. He checked the delivery containers to see if Tifa put the packages in here. She did. He walked over to her and pushed her out before turning the lights off. He quietly closed the door. He kept pushing Fenrir down the street until two houses down. He turned the engine on and rode off to start deliveries.
To bad he forgot to lock the door to the Seventh Heaven main door, and the red haired girl watching him from an alleyway made her way in.
--
When Cloud was gone, Melinda snuck into Seventh Heaven. She quietly closed the door and made sure it didn't wake anyone. She was smiling like the crazy person she was as she creeped up the stairs and darted into Clouds room, closing the door. She let out a happy sigh and went to Clouds bed, and took a deep breath inside of Clouds pillow. She sighed in content to smell his scent. She turned around to see Clouds work desk.
"Now to see where you are headed my beautiful and absolutely sexy man." She whispered to herself. She went through a stack of paperwork. She soon found the one with the latest date on it. It was a list of the deliveries Cloud was going to do today and what times he plans to get there. Cloud had memorized them the night before Denzel and Marlene got up in his room to drag him out.
Most of his deliveries were in Edge. He was going to do those first. Then around three o'clock he was going to go to Kalm and do Deliveries there. He was going to finish at night so he wrote that he was going to stay in the inn over there.
Melinda looked up with an evil smile on her face. Perfect! She can go to Kalm and follow him around there.
Her eyes connected to a photo Cloud had covered in a frame on his desk. It was a picture of the children from last night, the bar hostess and her man. Both the girl and the woman were smiling. The young boy had a shy smile on and her lovely man had a slight smile on his kissable lips. Oh Melinda just wanted to squeal, and did so mentally. She didn't want to wake up the dreaded woman up or those kids.
She quickly got out a piece of paper and pen and wrote down the times of when and where Cloud was going to be in Kalm. Oh her blessed man Cloud was not going to miss her; she was coming to keep him company.
She put the pen and paper back in her bag and silently walked out of Seventh Heaven, closing the door quietly. She started to walk towards the bus stop and got out her piece of paper with times to see what her lovely was doing now. As she got to the bus stop, she looked at the timetable of the buses and Clouds own one, and compared the time. She would make it to Kalm an hour earlier. Perfect, gave her time to get a room in the inn Cloud was staying at, and find the perfect view points. Life just couldn't get any sweeter, could it? She sat down and waited for the next bus, smiling and thinking of Cloud.
Back at Seventh Heaven, Tifa heard something downstairs and got up to inspect the bar. As she got down there, she saw nothing out of order. As she walked to the door to look out, she had found it open.
"Huh, thought I closed that last night." She spoke to herself as she yawned. Tifa locked the door and moved back up the stairs and looked into Clouds room. He wasn't in bed. He must of left early to avoid that freaky girl.
As Tifa moved back to her room, she really couldn't blame Cloud. Tifa would have been freaked out herself if someone were stalking her. She got into bed for an extra hour of sleep.
---The Black Chocobo: The Rewrite---
A/N: * Shiver * Typing Melindas part always gives me the goosebumps. She so totally scares the living crap out of me. And I'm the bloody author! I am in love with you all from all the love I am getting. Sure I'm not as popular as other authors, but I'm still happy. I'm talking about all the story alerts and yadda yadda. Reviews are my favorite though ///^w^///.
Lol, me and Spopococ been talking and I wrote this part and I thought it would be pretty funny to be up here:
--
"Wark wark" Said Zack
"Wark." Noodle supplied.
"Kweh kweh." Azure in response.
"Warkerdy wark wark! WARKER WARKERS! Wark wark kweh." Floss yelled at them.
The other three chocobos laughed their heads off at him.
--
…Funny right? Try and guess what they are saying.
I thought you guys might want to know a bit about the OC's. So let's start with the Chocobos:
Noodle: A horny English accent speaking chocobo that would want to lay any female in front of him.
Azure: Just like his owner Kunsel, he loves to collect information and have a good laugh.
Floss: A fat, spoiled chocobo that goes off his head at any chocobo that comes near him. Feed him some greens and you're his new best friend.
Okay the humans OC now:
Lirasa, Zibba, Kanda, Xenlian, Vinru are just letters put together and OCs I needed at the time. They might be added in later chapters. Not sure about that one.
Tre is some guy in my Year (grade) at school. His really funny but the description of him in this story doesn't match the real life one.
And finally the most scariest, Melinda…
Melinda: The most scariest OC I have ever written. She makes me want to wet my pants just thinking about her. I based this one off a chick at school with the name 'Malinda'. Get it? MElinda, MAlinda…lol…the red hair, green eyes, freckles and the scary personality (minus the stalking nature) are similar traits they have together. But the rest on Melinda's attributes are her own lol.
Well there you go. Hope you like the latest chapter.
Lady-yuna7