Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything familiar. Look for a more detailed disclaimer at the bottom.
Rated: T.
Author: The Nervous Rambler.
Summary: AU. AH. A/B E/J Em/R. 'Why won't you let me help you, Bella?' 'Because you can't help me unless you believe me!'
The small, little blue two door car raced down the highway, following the line of traffic. There was nothing extraordinary about this day for anyone other than myself. It was just another sunny day in Phoenix; bright blue skies, a light breeze cooling off the overheated people scurrying about on their daily routines. The grass was just as green as it was the previous day. Gas the same price. Not a thing was different, out of the norm, everything was just the same. Just the usual.
For me, however, this day would change my life forever. For this day, this regular day, was the day I died.
"Charlie!" Renee screamed, her blue eyes growing wide as she looked out her window. Her body reacted on its own, already leaning away from the door, bracing and tensing itself for the impact, her heart hammering away in her chest, tears springing to her eyes. "Bella, move!" She screamed again, trying to look around to the backseat of the car.
Charlie, glancing over at his yelling wife, screamed as well, his low, gruff voice raising a couple octaves. Instincts kicked in and he reached in the back seat of the car, his fingers brushing against his oblivious daughter's arm.
An explosion of glass and noise sent the back end of the car spinning out, whipping around and around. The child in the backseat didn't even have time to register the pain before her eyes fluttered shut, crimson red liquid soon trailing down the front of her face.
I watched on with a grave face as the small car finally came to a screeching halt. The semi, still skidding to a stop with the driver slamming his foot on the brakes, stopped a good dozen yards away. The rest of the traffic on the highway all skidded to a stop as well, swerving and turning to avoid the wreckage.
People jumped out of the cars to run over and try and help the unconscious people still motionless in the car. A young man with a goatee covering his face pried open the passenger seat door, catching the brunette woman who spilled out and carried her over to the side of the road, gently laying down. "Call 911!" He barked out. "Take off your shirt and roll it into a ball, I need something to support her neck." He said to the man who was standing beside him, waiting to help.
The young, off duty paramedic raced back to the car after deducing that the woman's injuries were minor; a concussion, a dislocated shoulder, broken lag, and a sprained wrist. He got to his feet, running back over to the car, climbing into the passenger seat to get better access to the man. A woman was on the other side of the car, opening the door gingerly. "Is he okay?"
Charlie stirred, mumbling incoherent things. "…ella…" He whispered. His chocolate brown eyes fluttered open, gazing at the woman. "Bella…"
A gasp fell from the woman's lips as she looked into the backseat for this man's…daughter? This Bella, girl. "Oh god… Help! Help her! Somebody help her!" She started screaming.
The paramedic looked into the backseat, cursed. He got back out and brought the seat forward, climbing into the back and hastily unclipped the little girl's belt buckle. Her chest was rising and falling slowly, too slowly, and not in a steady rhythm. She would stop breathing on her own soon; a collapsed lung, maybe both. His fingers gently touched her neck, feeling around to make sure nothing was broken there. He took a deep breath and then slowly, as gently as he could, slid his arms under her to pick her up.
I winced, my back throbbing as I watched on, standing beside the unconscious Renee on the ground.
He walked over beside me, laying the little girl on the ground. Sirens could be heard in the distance, but she wouldn't make it. He already knew that. I knew it. The little girl's arm was broken in two different places, her hip fractured, her shin cracked, only one lung collapsed though, with five broken ribs. And that was all not counting the small, but long shard of window jabbed in the side of her head, blood still steadily seeping from it.
Absently, I reached up, my fingers running and searching through my brown locks to find the scar. I shivered, feeling the raised skin of the scar, and quickly shoved my hands into my pockets, watching on.
An ambulance pulled up by the car where the woman was trying to keep Charlie still and calm. "Over here!" The paramedic called as two more jumped out the back of the ambulance. The three got to work quickly, trying to stabilize the little girl, hooking this and that up to her. Bloody hands worked quick to put a brace around her small neck, holding her steady, while another two pairs lifted her onto a stretcher. "Pulse is fading." The female paramedic murmured, her bloody fingers held to the wrist of the little girl.
With fascination and numb shock, I watched as the little chest didn't rise again.
"We're losing her!"
"Hand me the paddles!"
"She's gone…"
"The paddles – give me them now!"
I jumped when he shocked the little girl, feeling it run through my body, the electricity exploding in my chest, clutching at my heart.
"Again!"
The little girl's body spasmed, struggling to suck in more air as its chest shakily rose again. "We've got a pulse."
My eyes were transfixed, full of awe and wonder.
"It's fading again… gone…"
"Up the watts, give her a shot of adrenaline, and get me an oxygen tube." The paramedic barked out as they climbed into the ambulance, watching the girl convulse.
Death and Life. It was like she was playing jump rope with the line that separated the two. The life gone from her body one moment and back the next, like two people playing tug of war with her essence. I watched in rapt attention as her aura flickered, a brilliant shining gold shimmering around her, flickering and so bright. I almost couldn't look at it – it - it was so pure.
"Stabilized. She's breathing again." The female said, adjusting the oxygen tube in the little girl's mouth.
I could feel it; thick and wide, sliding down my throat-
Gagging, I sprang up in my bed, panting and sweating still. Blindly, I reached out for my glasses, slipping them on and looked to the alarm clock on the bedside table.
4:02 AM.
I had only been asleep for thirteen minutes.
Groaning, I lay back down with a sigh, running my hand through my hair that was moist with sweat. I hated that dream. Hated it more than I hated Mike's attempts at getting me to go out with him, which was a lot. It was a burning, fierce, passionate hate I had for that dream.
It wasn't enough that I had to live all of that, no, I also had to have it thrown back in my face over and over again. I couldn't go a whole month without the dream. It was obvious why I was having it this time. That woman, she had mentioned a glow-
No, bad, Bella, stop thinking about that. It was just your mind taking pieces of your dream and bringing them forth into your consciousness. Just forget about it.
With another sigh, I got up and stumbled down the hall to the bathroom. Most everything was spinning, and it took three tries before I could turn the light on. I was wasted, I knew that much.
The lights momentarily blinded me when I entered the bathroom and shut the door, squinting. My body felt like it was on fire though, and I slunk over to the sink in the counter, turning on the cold water to splash my face. It soothed my over heated flesh, letting my body relax, and after ten minutes, I finally turned it off and wiped my face off, putting my glasses back on.
Unable to stop myself, just like every other time, I pulled off my shirt and turned so I could see the right side of my back, grimacing. Even more pale than the rest of my skin, angry, raised scars were there. A group of small ones closer to my hip from the metal crunching me there in the accident, longer ones from more glass and metal shards jutting out from the semi and the car, stabbed into my skin higher up. It wasn't a whole lot of scars, not really, but still. Too many for my liking. Hell, one was too many. The worst one of all though, was on my front. A long, jagged, upraised scar over my ribs. It was probably almost two inches long, from where part of the semi's grill snapped and shot off, piercing my lung, forcing it to collapse in the process.
With an angry huff, I pulled my shirt back on and sat down on the edge of the tub, my face in my hands.
There was no hope of getting any more sleep tonight.
XXxxXXxxXX
"And what happened to you?" Angela asked, stepping backwards as the lunch line moved along.
We hadn't seen each other all morning, since I left early, probably before she even started her car so that I could drag my feet the entire way to school and still not be late for class. Finally, after managing to lose Jessica in the hall crowded with kids, I was free to go and find Angela, who had been huffing and puffing to herself while waiting for this blasted line to move. "I…had a very bad night." I replied, my voice rough and scratchy from sobbing most of the night.
"I'll say. You don't even have your hat." She commented, stepping backwards once more as the line shifted.
Any other day of the week, I wasn't any fashionista or anything of the sort. Not even close. But today… today fashion police wouldn't bother trying to arrest me; they'd shoot me on sight. I was wearing my beat up chucks with mismatching socks even, a pair of baggy sweats that had holes in the knees, a long form fitting tank top, though it was also stretchy and a very…faded, bland colour, with a black zip up hoodie over top and my backpack. I hadn't bothered with my hair that morning either and it was up in a messy bun, hidden beneath the hood, all topped off with my glasses that were hiding even more pale skin than usual and big black bags under tired eyes.
Beautiful.
"How was your night?" I asked, semi sarcastically.
The corner of Angela's mouth curved up, a blush covering her cheeks as she looked away. "Ben might have called me last night…"
"No way!" I gasped. "He finally manned up?"
Angela's eyes whipped back over to me. "You knew? You knew and didn't tell me?"
I held my hands up with a grin. "Don't blame me; blame the bro code."
"But you're not a bro!" She huffed.
"Angie, man, the code, get mad at the code, not me." I repeated.
She sighed an annoyed sigh but I could see amusement in those light eyes of hers. "Whatever. He asked me out this Friday. I'm so excited." I smiled back at her, happy for the two of them. They'd make a good couple. "So now all we need to do is convince you to ask Alice and we could make it a double date."
I rolled my eyes, internally cursing Ben for blabbing his big old mouth about stuff he didn't understand. "All fine and dandy, but I'm not into - Alice! Hey!" I gasped, freezing as the pixie skipped up to us.
Angela snorted and started laughing as Alice lifted an eyebrow. "Hey. Something funny going on?" She asked, looking at the taller girl curiously. Angela quickly sobered up and we both furiously shook our heads. "Riiiight… Anyways, my dad sent this with me today so I could get your wrist tag off." She said, pulling a big doohickey out of her purse.
My brows furrowed as I started at it. "Oh!" I grinned, pulling my sleeve up to reveal the wrist band. "This thing?"
"Yes, that thing." Alice replied with a giggle. With a flick of her wrist and a push of a button, the wrist band slipped off into her free hand in a matter of seconds, like she had been doing that her whole life. "There you go."
"Thank you." I smiled, running my fingers along the now exposed skin. It was even more pale than the rest. Jeeze, I might as well be albino.
She grinned, putting the doohickey back into her purse with a nod. "I mean this in the nicest way possible, Bella, but you look like crap."
"Thank you again." I replied dryly.
Angela chuckled. "Bella had a bad night."
"I can see that." Alice nodded in agreement, pursing her lips as her face turned concerned. "Is something wrong? Did something happen?"
My face scrunched up. "Your dad didn't tell you?"
Alice cocked her head to the side. "He can't, silly. Patient-Doctor confidentiality prevents him from being able to discuss anything."
Huh. I would have thought for sure he'd tell his family about that little freak out.
Well…
Little relieved about that.
"Oh. Um, nothing bad happened. Not really. Nothing noteworthy. Just, uh, can you tell him I'm sorry for how I left?" I asked hesitantly. I felt bad for practically screaming at him and bolting out the door. He didn't deserve that. He was just trying to help me.
Alice nodded. "Sure. You're okay though, right?"
"I'm…fine. No worries." I replied with a reassuring smile. It felt fake even to me though and I knew Alice wouldn't buy it.
It got quiet then, and more than a little awkward. We all took another step as the line moved. Angela, who had been quiet for a while, cleared her throat. "So, Alice. Ben and I are going out on a date on Friday and we invited Bella along with us. Completely weren't thinking and now she's going to end up feeling like a third wheel. Care to join us? Make sure she doesn't feel that way? Keep her company if Ben and I, um, get distracted?" She asked with a wryly grin.
There was an audible smack as my palm hit my face and I groaned. Smooth, Ange, real smooth.
Alice was giggling behind her pale hand when I hesitantly looked up and nodded. "Sounds like fun; I shall be your date for the night, Bella." She laughed.
"Awesome." I muttered, glaring sideways at Angela who was still grinning. "You're just as bad as Ben."
XXxxXXxxXX
Ben was laughing so hard his face was red and I was certain he was going to get a nose bleed. "Hahahaha, I knew I liked Angela for a reason!" He chuckled.
Glancing at Bed from the corner of my eye, I glared with an annoyed huff. "It's always the quiet ones you've got to keep an eye on. They're too busy scheming to talk and be social." I grumbled.
Ben just grinned wider, running a hand through his hair before pulling his beanie back on. "You can't deny that just a little part of you is excited about this." Just as I was about to deny it, he held up with hand an raised an eyebrow. "Oi. Don't even try to lie; I know you better than that, man."
"Fine. Maybe I am little… intrigued about how the night will turn out." I conceded, keeping my voice as nonchalant as possible. His grin grew and I returned to my glare. "I hope it rains on you."
He was walking with me back to my house to chill for a while until his mom got back from Seattle with Eve. His dad was working late tonight, and he didn't feel like hanging around an empty house, so I invited him over.
Ben cocked an eyebrow again. "You are aware that if it rains on me, it will be raining on you as well, right?"
I scoffed. "Yeah, but I've got a hood."
We continued joking more on the way back to the house, talking about this and that. I was finally able to get back at him when I brought up the subject of his desires. A.K.A- Angela. He blushed like mad and wouldn't look me in the eye half he time, throwing his own glares at me whenever I started joking about it, until he finally started laughing as well.
We were having a good time, basically, until we were almost there.
Abruptly stopping, I grabbed my stomach. The world span for a second before becoming slightly blurry at the edges as my stomach flip flopped. It felt like someone had dumped a bucket of slime into my belly and I swayed for a second before Ben steadied me.
"Bella, are you okay?" He asked, looking at me with concern.
Nodding, I feebly smiled. "Must have been more surprise than stew at lunch." I joked, wiping the cold sweat from my forehead. "I'm fine; just a little queasy. Come on."
He hesitated for a second before nodding slowly, keeping close to me as we started off again. "You know, you don't look so good today. More pale than usual and those bags under your eyes are pretty dark."
"Rough night." I dismissed it.
He bit his lip, scrutinizing my face before giving a final nod. "Alright. If you say so." He caved, letting it go. A few moments later, he steered us in another direction. "Don't look."
"What?" I asked curiously, trying to look over my shoulder.
He just kept us walking in that slightly obscure direction. "Road kill. Don't look."
My stomach flopped again and I took his advice, not looking back again as a shiver ran down my spine.
XXxxXXxxXX
The next day was much better than the first, mainly because I didn't feel like death. No pun intended.
School had passed by in a fast blur, Angela and Ben talking more about the Friday coming up and where to go and what to do, and blah blah blah. I had been tempted to finally take Alice up on her offer of sitting with her family for lunch, but decided against it, remembering the little bump in I had in the morning with Edward.
Talk about a creeper.
He had been staring at me so hard that I thought he was trying to mentally light me on fire. Once Jasper pointed it out, Edward had been sheepish and very apologetic. But still. Creepy.
So I didn't feel like suffering through an awkward silence that would have created had I sat with them.
When the day ended, I had flopped down on the couch and turned on the TV, surfing for something good to watch. Two hours later I was in the same position, watching SpongeBob and Patrick jelly fishing and laughing to myself.
Feeling my phone vibrating in my pocket, I pulled it out and flipped it open. I assumed it was Charlie asking what I wanted to eat that night, or maybe Ben to ask me how to do something on Mass Effect 2, which I had leant him earlier that week. So imagine my surprise when Alice's light voice sounded through the phone.
"Good evening, Bella."
Cursing as I shot up to feel around the couch for the phone I had dropped, I also quickly muted the TV. "H-Hello?"
Alice was gigging on her end, obviously hearing my little fumble. "How are you tonight?"
"Er, good. Thanks. How are you?" I replied.
"I'm good, thank you. I was just wondering if perhaps you wanted to work on our portfolio some more?" She asked curiously.
My brows furrowed. "Yeah, alright. Charlie isn't home yet and I've just been chilling here. You want me to come over to your place, or do you want to meet somewhere, or-"
"Answer the door?" She giggled again.
I jumped when a knock sounded, hastily getting to my feet. My jaw dropped when I opened the front door to Alice who was still holding her phone to her ear, much like I was. "Well that was quick." I mumbled.
Alice's silky black spikes shook as she nodded with a grin. "Indeed."
"What if I had said no, that I was busy?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Well then I would have had to ask really nicely;" Her golden eyes widened, getting glassy as she jutted out her bottom lip slightly, her voice turning even softer than before. "Are you sure you don't want to work on the portfolio, Bella?"
"Good God…" I whispered. My resolve shatter, or would have had I had one. I was ready and waiting to follow any order, perform any request, answer any question that would fall from those lips. Imagine if she went to the white house, to the president with that weapon of mass destruction. The horror…
Her expression turned amused and slightly cocky as she grinned and winked at me. "I know, right?" She laughed.
"That was insane." I muttered, still slightly in awe.
Alice smirked. "Would you like another demonstration?"
"No! I'm still trying to get over it." I laughed, opening the door wider. "Come on in, you devious pixie."
She skipped into the house, spinning around and taking everything in, nodding once. "I like it. Very homey. Very you."
My brows furrowed once more as I scratched the back of my neck. "Er, thanks?" She just nodded again with another beaming smile. "The, uh, kitchen is to the right, the living room to the left, bedrooms and bathroom is up the stairs and down the hall. Mi casa, su casa."
Humming and rolling her eyes, Alice slid her sleek silver phone back into her pocket. "What an old line."
"Mom always did say I had an old soul." I replied with a smirk.
She laughed, shaking her head. "You're such a dork."
"Pssh. Yeah, but a cool dork."
Alice raised an amused eyebrow. "Is there such a thing?"
I pointed up to my face.
"Alright you cool dork, let's get to work."
XXxxXXxxXX
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The Nervous Rambler