Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything familiar. Look for a more detailed disclaimer at the bottom.
Rated: T.
Author: The Nervous Rambler.
Summary: AU. AH. A/B E/J Em/R. 'Why won't you let me help you, Bella?' 'Because you can't help me unless you believe me!'
BELLA
The absolute worst way to wake up.
This was the absolute worst way to wake up. Not only was it still dark out, which meant it was only really late or really early, but it was the worst also because I knew no one was really there. And yet I could still feel their gaze on me, knew they were watching me. I contemplated on just turning onto my side and trying to get back to sleep; but this was a little too creepy to let slide. Watching people sleep without permission is just… creepy. Especially if you don't know them well enough.
And I didn't know anyone well enough to warrant them watching me sleep.
So heads were about to roll, man. I was going to tear whoever was watching me a new one. With a growl of annoyance, I sprang up into a sitting position with a massive scowl on my face, glaring over to the corner of my room. "What do you want from me?" I snapped. Quietly though; I didn't want to wake up Charlie. And, you know, my headache was trying to kill me.
"My, my, you are a crabby child, aren't you?" The woman said. I almost, almost, told her to keep her voice down or she'd wake my dad. Until I realized that she was not, in fact, real and that my buzz was completely gone so this was Miss Schizophrenia deciding to pop up and say hi again.
With a groan, I fell back against my mattress and stared up at the fuzzy ceiling. "You're not real. You're not real. You're not real." I chanted over and over under my breath, trying to will this…crazy out of me.
"So you still think you're sick, honey?" She asked. I shivered as the air around the edge of my bed cooled down drastically, and could almost feel the bed dip, but I knew it hadn't. "Who was that other girl that was over earlier? She seemed sweet as well."
My eyes shot back open as I froze. How did she… "You… you mean Alice?"
"Such a pretty name." She hummed.
This is getting weird. I can't believe I was actually talking to this hallucination. I really was crazy, after all. But maybe this was good, maybe this would help. Confront your crazy and it will go away right? Shouldn't the fear rule apply to this as well? They're both of the mind.
Biting my lip, I hesitated for a second, mulling the idea in my head. It's not like I'd get any worse if I started talking to them. "She is sweet, and very nice."
"And very pretty, though all her kind is. It's their unique differences that make them beautiful, I think. She must be in Carlisle's coven."
"What are you talking about?" I questioned. Was my hallucination crazy too? Was that possible? "What's a coven?"
"I've said too much already, honey. It isn't my place to tell others' secrets."
Rolling my eyes, I turned onto my side. "Right, well, if you don't mind; I'd like to get some sleep before school tomorrow."
"We still need to speak."
"I could have sworn what we were doing is just that." I mumbled, pulling my covers up over my shoulder. "I've had my fill, thanks."
"We need to talk about you, Bella." She said sternly.
Burrowing farther down in my warm blankets, I let out a sigh. "Pass."
She sighed as well. "There's a storm coming in from the south and the wind knocked down a tree on your friend Angela's car; she won't be able to give you a ride tomorrow, so dress warm."
Some of the pressure of my headache lifted and I shivered, wrapping my arms around myself as I tried not to think about just how weird all this was getting.
XXxxXXxxXX
"You know, I never see you eat your lunch, Alice. You play with your food a lot, but I've never seen you eat it." I mused as she followed me farther down the lunch line while I grabbed different things for my lunch. Angela had been a no show today so far and I was kind of freaking out on the inside, but I was saving the major freak out for when I found out why she hadn't been here yet. Don't want to jump the gun or anything.
Alice rolled her eyes, smirking while she bumped my hip with hers. "What are you trying to say? You think I'm anorexic?"
Snorting, I shook my head. "I'm saying you could be giving your delicious lunch to the hungry people like me, man. I like food." I grinned and she laughed, shaking her head at me.
Angela jumped up behind us, grinning. "Hey, thanks for saving my place in line." She said loudly as she discreetly cut the guy behind me. "This line is so long."
My brows furrowed. "Where've you been all day?"
She sighed, shaking her head. "You would not believe it. You know that storm that hit in the next state over? Well all this damn wind is because of that, and it blew a freaking tree down on my car-"
The lunch tray slipped from my hands, crashing down to the floor with a noisy clang and everyone turned to look who had the clumsy moment. Normally, I would have been blushing like a mad woman while I scrambled to clean everything up. I, however, was white as a ghost –no pun intended- and frozen to the spot, staring at Angela with wide eyes.
"Bella, what's wrong?" Alice asked, her features concerned and worried. "What happened? What's wrong?"
Angela was looking at me with a worried face as well. "Bella?"
That… that wasn't possible. I couldn't have known that, at all. I had been unconscious the whole time, and even if I wasn't; her house was a few down from mine. I couldn't have heard or seen that in the dark. So that meant it wasn't a hallucination using information from my head to trick me.
What… what…I…
…You still think you're sick?...
My chest filled with hope and dread at the aspect of not being sick, of being sane.
But what did it mean if I wasn't sick? What the hell was this then? And why was it happening to me? Seeing ghosts, actual ghosts? Like in the Sixth Sense. But I don't remember the boy ever being in pain because of it? Was that just me? Was I defective - wait!
Why am I using a fictional movie as a standard to refer to?
"Bella?" Alice asked, her cool fingers wrapping gently around my wrist bringing me out of my thoughts. I looked up into her molten golden eyes that were full to the brim with concern and curiosity, surrounded by thick black lashes and almost hidden behind ink black locks of her hair that fell into her face. "Are you okay? What's wrong?" She asked quietly.
I shook my head. "I-I-I'm sorry. Just, um, just a clumsy moment. I've got to go clean up." I replied, looking down to the exploded pudding on the tray at my feet and the small chocolate splatters on my jeans at the knee, and a couple on the stomach of my Evanescence band Tee. "Excuse me." I murmured, stepping around them and quickly headed for the hallway.
It was mostly empty and I took comfort in the fact that the bathroom probably would be as well and it would give me privacy so I could freak out properly. I shoved the door to the girls' washroom open and looked under all the stalls before locking it. With a sigh, I slid off my backpack and dropped it on the floor by the sinks, grabbing each side of the porcelain sink in front of one of the mirrors to lean on.
Alright; calm down. I just needed to think.
Which was a lot easier said than done when you were filled with a numb cloud of alcohol.
Frustrated, I turned on the cold water tap and took off my black beanie and glasses, setting them on the edge of the next sink over. Hesitating, I splashed my face with cold water; knowing it wouldn't sober me up but maybe it would help some. After a minute or two, once I couldn't feel my nose anymore, I turned it off and rested the side of my face on the edge of the sink to stare at my glasses.
Okay. So, these are not hallucinations; that's all we know for sure at the moment.
That didn't necessarily mean I wasn't sick.
But it kind of did, seeing as those were the only symptoms they diagnosed me with.
So then maybe I wasn't sick.
That was still iffy.
Sick or not though; there was still the pain. That wasn't imagined at all; there's no way that couldn't be real.
Even if the doctors are positive it isn't and is just in my head.
It wasn't though; how do you imagine it and turn it into physical pain?
That aside, what was left?
I was seeing…people. Dead or Alive; who knew? But the fact remained that I was still seeing them.
With a groan, I grabbed my glasses and beanie, leaning against the wall next to the sinks and slid down it to the flood. I pushed my glasses back on and fiddled with my beanie, biting my lip.
There was one thing I could do.
It wasn't a very good idea, but it was the only thing I could think of in this state.
I'd have to get sober.
Stop drinking.
If only to clear my head enough to think more, but mostly so I could talk to that woman who wanted to talk to me. I should at least hear what she has to say; right?
"This is going to hurt." I muttered under my breath, resigned and slightly defeated. There was no other option.
With that in mind, I pulled myself to my feet and quickly washed off the chocolate pudding, looking into the mirror to make sure I looked presentable and not like I almost freaked out. Or like I was drunk. Both of those would be bad.
It was damp out, surprise surprise, but when damp, my hair… it didn't get curly but it did get wavy. Nice sometimes, but a pain others. Today it was only a little wavy and didn't look too bad, especially when I pulled on my black beanie. The dark purple circles under my eyes from the previous day were nearly gone; just a light tint of purple left, nothing anyone would see unless they were staring at my face forever. My eyes, normally a chocolate brown, seemed darker today, whether it was stress or whatever, but they looked almost black actually. Contrasted with my pale skin.
Luckily my shirt was black, so the wet spots where the chocolate was wouldn't be as noticeable and would dry soon, and I thanked whoever was listening that nothing splattered on the white sleeves of the long sleeved shirt I was wearing underneath; stains were a bitch to get out. My jeans were also dark wash, so the wet spots on my knee wasn't that bad either. The entire outfit topped off with my black converse and my black bag swung onto my back.
This would be fine for the, er, date later. Right?
"Right." I nodded to myself in the mirror before leaving to head to class.
XXxxXXxxXX
A car honked outside in the driveway, impatience etched in every short, sharp beep. I rolled my eyes, grabbing my phone and sent Angela a text telling her not to get her panties all twisted and that I would be right down.
Which was a lie, since I had been saying that for the past half an hour. She originally had been inside the house with me, chilling on my bed and texting Ben while I surfed the web on my dinosaur of a computer. Angela was getting a little upset that I was taking so long to pry myself from the computer, and had stomped out of the house five minutes ago. Now she had taken to honking the horn ever thirty seconds that passed.
Now, I wasn't a rude person. Far from it; Charlie and Renee raised me right and proper.
However, I just couldn't pull myself from the computer screen it seemed.
When I had gotten home, I had raced up the stairs to my room, slamming the door closed and booted up the old computer. Waiting around for ten minutes for it to start, I had been itching to go downstairs for a drink, but managed to refrain myself, and started up the web browser.
I hadn't been sure what to type into Google at first. I sort of just sat there for a while, looking at the white screen and the colourful letters. Then, like any other simpleton, I put in 'seeing ghosts' as that was the only thing I could think of to try.
Bad mistake on my part.
Links and pop ups bombarded me; articles on people claiming to see ghosts, forums talking about it, guides on how to summon them, all this different junk. None of it really helped me, seeing as I was most certain that I wasn't psychic. You've got to be psychic from birth; all in the genes and all that, right? This had only started after the accident.
There had been one word that had caught my eye though; having my pause and shiver.
Necromancer.
So, with great hesitation, I searched it in Google.
That was about the time that Angela came over to get ready with me. Getting ready, for me, consisted of brushing my hair again and ditching the back pack. Angela had rolled her eyes and tossed a black wool coat at me, telling me it would make me look almost dressy because this is a date, Bella.
When she had seen what I was searching up, after knocking me over and onto my bed to get passed me as I tried to block her, she had laughed at me. Assumption worked well for me a lot of the time and this was no excuse. She thought I was geek-ing out over a video game.
Totally could have been; most of the links that came up for that were of video games. Or books. Some movies. Mostly video games though. One or two religions were tossed in there as well.
Then I started going through it all with a pad and paper while Angela had flopped back onto my bed. I picked out and wrote down everything that came up more than a few times, all the common stuff between everything, figuring that would maybe be true, if any of it was at all. Who knew, right? These were books and games, fiction, made up concepts. But it was all fascinating, and I realized that I really needed to restock my X Box collection and maybe buy a working computer 'cause some of these were just for the PC.
Another series of honks made me jump and I sighed, going to shut everything down. Pursing my lips, I clicked one more link, just to quickly scan, and stiffened.
It was a picture. Not of the video games or the sketches like all the others; this one was different for some reason. The site was odd too, but I couldn't take my eyes away from the picture. There wasn't a lot of detail, nothing really eye grabbing or shocking; nothing to warrant such a reaction from me, but still it seemed to strike me deep down to my very bones. A figure, down in a crouch; they were clad in dark robes with a hood and had a scarf covering half their face and neck, fingerless long gloves and leather boots with buckles, pouches on their belt along with things like daggers and vial looking things, smaller bags strapped across their chest and hanging a their sides in a field of tall grass. There was a staff in one of their hands…nothing eccentric like in the games or books; just a normal looking walking staff that they gripped onto to keep their balance while they crouched down by all the dead bodies in the field. The soldiers looked nothing like nowadays or even fifty years ago; this had to be really old; a sketch of a scene, a time, that had long since passed. In their free hand, they were cradling the side of a skeleton's face; dirty, smudged, and ripped clothes hanging off its bone body. What seemed to really strike me were the eyes; they themselves were odd. The irises were cloudy, a white. But a really bold white with just a faded almost grey border around them. They seemed luminescent, really.
But even that wasn't what had me pausing and leaning towards the screen to get a better look, sucked into this past time. It was the emotions in the eyes; compassion and sympathy, a tenderness. Such emotions invoked by a skeleton, a monster by most standards, the dead, decaying carcasses. In essence, Death, where most people would shun it; run away from in terror and senselessly hate it.
I don't know, but it made me feel a little better. To see that this one Necromancer wasn't like all the others, all the stereotypes. That it wasn't just another cruel, power hungry fiend raising the dead; shoving spirits back into their bodies to do the Necromancer's biddings. One that wasn't, as depicted by everyone else it seemed, evil and sinister.
Just a neutral… being. One surrounded by Life and Death, walking along the thin line that separated the two. One who -
"We're going to be late, Bella! Is that what you want; for me to be late to my first date with Ben? The one date I've been waiting for my entire high school career?" Angela huffed, stomping over to my computer and turned off the screen. "Let's go!"
"Yeah, sorry." I said, still trembling from having been scared out of my skin at her little burst there. "I really am sorry; I didn't mean to make you wait so long." I continued, following her down the stairs and hollering out my goodbye to Charlie.
Seeing as I didn't have a car, and neither did Ben, Angela would be driving us tonight. I was fairly certain Alice had a car, seeing as the entire family was stupidly rich, but she didn't know where we were going or anything and following in cars was a hassle; you got separated easily or something of the sort and lost track of each other.
Angela's hand shoved the passenger door closed before I could get in and I turned to look at her, seeing her point to the back seat. "What? But we haven't even picked Ben up yet! I don't get the front till then?"
"Back seat for making me wait so long." She declared, going around to her own side of the car.
With a pout and a huff, I grudgingly got into the back seat. "Fine."
A few minutes later we picked up Ben and were heading out to the Cullen's mansion which just about no one knew the location of until Alice gave Angela directions. And eve then we were sure she had gotten us lost a couple times. "Does anyone else have the feeling that we've just been baited out into the middle of nowhere where no one can hear our screams as we're chopped up into stew?" Ben asked, his forehead pressed against the passenger window as he stared out at all the trees we were driving by.
"This is remote." I commented, also pressing my face against the window. "Maybe we did make a wrong turn, Ange."
"I'm following the directions word for word, guys! We're not lost - look! The white and glass mansion! Ha! And you said we were lost; please guys." She scoffed, grinning victoriously as well pulled down the twisting driveway.
Good gravy they were loaded. Even more than I had thought. Just take a look at their place! So much glass, so open and nice. A large garden along the side, the volvo and a mercedes parked in front of the garage. I was starting to feel a little washed out; like if I stepped on their porch I would somehow lower the quality of it or something.
Ben seemed to notice, seeing as I was still sitting in the car with my hand on the door after the initial shock wore off. He turned around in his seat, wiggling his eyebrows. "Well? Go get your date, Bella. We don't want to be late for dinner, do we?"
Shooting him a glare, I huffed and got out of the car, straightening my shirt and buttoned up the buttons on my coat. I felt too underdressed to set foot in their house now, especially in a Band Tee and jeans. But Angela was right, the coat did help. A little.
Somehow I got the feeling that they already knew we were here just by how quiet it was inside the house. I couldn't pick up any movement or anything like that as I wiped my sweaty palm on my jeans and knocked.
I was right; immediately the door swung open, revealing a beaming Alice.
She wasn't too fancy either though, which relieved me a little bit. No dresses or anything. Just a pair of high heeled boots, black, and a black skirt with a red blouse. I noticed the wrist band she wore was identical to the one her brother, Edward, wore the other day when I ran into him and Jasper. Her hair, like usual, was up in styled chaos; ink black and silky looking. Her eyes were a vibrant gold, almost shining, surrounded by thick black lashes batting against her alabaster skin.
"Hello, Bella. Come in." She said, opening the door wider. I looked over my shoulder at the other two in the car who nodded and gestured me further, and stepped into the front foyer. The inside was just as beautiful as the outside, though I didn't have much time to admire it since people were popping out of nowhere it seemed. "My father you've already met, though he wanted to say hello again." She said quickly with a smile.
Dr. Cullen, Carlisle, walked over with a kind, friendly smile. His blonde hair was slicked back like always, his eyes lighter than Alice. It was odd to not see him in that white lab coat; instead a navy blue polo shirt that made him look even more pale than normal. "Good evening, Bella. How are you?"
"As a patient or as Alice's friend?" I blurted out, blushing and ducking my head.
Both him and Alice laughed though; the noise sounding much more melodic than it should have. "Both?" He grinned.
Smiling a tad myself, I nodded. "I'm good, as both. I, er, well… it's nothing really." I quickly covered up. I had just about told him that I might not be sick and almost spilled everything. Yeah, 'cause I wouldn't look crazy after that.
Carlisle's eyes studied me for a moment, catching the almost slip up while Alice tried to pretend she didn't and started bouncing on her feet. The tense atmosphere was broken when another woman breezed into the room. "This must be Bella; I've heard so much about you! Alice has been saying nothing but good things, my dear. I was so excited when I heard you would be coming to pick her up and we'd get to meet. I'm Esme." The woman said and the next thing I knew, I was pulled into a hug.
Awkwardly, I patted the woman's back and kind of just stood there until she released me, looking over to Alice who had her face buried in her palm. "Uh, hi." I said.
Alice's mother, as I figured she must have been, had long caramel hair, flowing down her back. She had the pale skin and the golden eyes of a Cullen as well though, her face heart shaped, and her being just emanating kindness and love. I knew her for all of thirty seconds, but already I could tell:
This was the mom of moms, man.
Alice cut in, stepping over and hooking her arm with mine. "We should get going; Angela and Ben are waiting in the car for us." She said, inching back towards the door.
Her parents smiled brightly and nodded, Esme leaning into Carlisle as he patted my shoulder. "I want my little girl home by twelve, not a second later; you got that mister?" He smirked.
Esme swatted him lightly with a smile and Alice rolled her eyes as I grinned at him. "Yes, sir." With that, Alice pulled me out of the house and closed the door on our way out. I paused, clearing my throat and felt a blush creep up my neck again as I held up my hand. "These are, um, for you. I know this is a joke and all, but I'm sure there's a rule book somewhere that dictates flowers are a must on every first date; real or not." I said quietly, holding up a tulip from the little garden in front of Charlie's that somehow always had flowers in it even if we never touched the thing.
Smiling softly at me, Alice gently took the tulip, her fingers brushing mine as she did so. "Thank you, Bella." She said, her voice gentle as she smelled the flower.
I blushed again, nodding, and quickly led her to the car, opening the door for her. Ben grinned at me through his window and I rolled my eyes at him, racing around to hop in on the other side. Angela turned, greeting Alice, and smiled brightly at us all. "I hope everyone likes Italian."
Perhaps my eyes were playing tricks on me, but I could have sworn a look of semi-horror passed Alice face at the mention of food. Maybe she was anorexic?
XXxxXXxxXX
The night had been fun, despite whatI thought. I had figured it would be awkward and quiet the entire time; both Alice and I silent and unable to think of anything to do while those two got lost in Lovers World.
How wrong I was, though. Alice made tons of chit chat, talking about this and that, making me laugh. I'd put in my two cents, or start a new subject she was completely unfamiliar with; like games, and crack jokes here and there that she giggled at a lot. Ones Ben thought were lame, but Alice appreciated.
We spoke about Photography and Art a lot; Alice talking about some of her favourite pieces and showing me them on her iPhone. She had great taste. I, being somewhat of a drawer, grabbed a pen and doodled out a couple of things here and there on a few napkins. Alice, flattering me, praised them and snatched them from me, putting them in her purse when I tried to brush it off and say they were nothing and tried crumpling them.
She didn't eat much, if anything, at dinner. She ordered a small salad and mostly moved it around on her plate a lot. Angela noticed, eyeing her plat and Alice curiously a few times, and Alice would fidget like she was uncomfortable. So, being the nice, hungry, friend I was - I started munching on her salad, too, when Angela wasn't looking. Alice had grinned at me, scooting closer and edged her plate closer to mine to be more discrete as I snuck more of it.
After dinner, we went to see a movie. Something about werewolves or something; a more contemporary version or Little Red Riding Hood, done by the makers of some other movie that was a big hit. Twite. Twilight. Something along those lines.
It was an alright movie; I didn't really see much of it; my headache was getting worse and worse as more time passed without alcohol. It was getting hard to concentrate on anything, especially when the whispering started. But I couldn't exactly start up a conversation right there, and tried blocking it out till I got home.
Mostly, it had worked. It made my headache worse and I really could hardly focus, but it stopped them. The only time I had relief was when Alice would lean over and whisper to me; commenting on the movie or asking if I was okay.
So, when the movie ended, I was relieved and upset. Relieved because I could go home and try to finally sort this all out, but upset because I was having a really good time with Alice. We were in the back of the car and had abandoned trying to look out the windows sine it was pouring out, and started talking about nothing while Angela and Ben spoke up front. Alice laughed, revealing bright white teeth, and rather sharp looking canines. They looked like those fake vampire teeth you could mould to your teeth and then just clip in any time; though these looked professionally done, for TV or something. You could hardly tell they weren't real.
'Cause they weren't…right? People didn't have teeth like that.
I was brought out of my thoughts once again that day as her chilly hand rested on my leg. I stared down at it for a second, following the pale arm back up to Alice, whose lips were twisted up in a smile. "I had a great time tonight, Bella." She chimed.
"Me too." I grinned. "It was really fun."
She laughed again, shaking her head. "Indeed. We should do this again; I haven't enjoyed myself this much in a long time."
"Happy I could help. How about tomorrow?" I asked.
She nodded with a smile before her body froze. Her golden eyes unfocused, no longer seeing me as they shifted back and forth watching…who knew what. Seemingly nothing, like she was watching a memory or something, or an invisible scene unfolding before her eyes only.
A scream made me jump as Angela furiously started turning the wheel to swerve. A white flash of light blinded me as someone's headlights came into view; Angela's screaming getting louder, along with Ben's. Alice gasped, blinking a few times and met my eyes. Terror were in hers as she reached out. "Bella!" She screamed before the front of the car damn near exploded, whipping around and sending me into my door hard. I cried out, blinking the haze from my vision, and saw that Ben, in front of me, had been slammed against his door too.
More headlights illuminated our side of the car as a horn honked. I screamed Ben's name, trying to reach for him before cold arms wrapped around me and pulled me into a stone hard lap. Alice angled her body, nearly covering me, and I screamed again, shutting my eyes as the car careened into ours and Ben.
XXxxXXxxXX
UPDATE!
Been a while; I apologize guys.
Review though; you inspire me. :)
The Nervous Rambler