Jeremy stood up and left Bonnie and Elena and their mindless chat. He hated mindless chat. Especially when there was something so serious floating above the surface, blocking his mind and his sight with grief and an uncontrollable fear that felt intrinsic. He hated Bonnie's carelessness; she would get herself killed if it meant saving another. He was pretty sure she would sacrifice herself for any one at all. Sometimes he wondered whether she wanted to be killed, the way she provoked death with her wimsical wanders into bad situations.
She was too independent, that's what it was. She didn't realise how much he relied on her for his well being, that he needed her to be sane, he needed her to be happy. He often looked at her for minutes on end,refusing to look away in case she disappeared mid blink and he lost her. Today, however, he couldn't. Because even without blinking, Jeremy felt parts of her falling from his grip into the air; away from the world he belonged and into one where he didn't quite fit. One where he would never find her.
Like a soul after death.
Because Bonnie was a car crash. He could see the oncoming traffic, he could call and wail and let his heart bleed out for her but she was headed for a collision and Jeremy was insubstantial to its force. Jeremy was only human after all, and what was a human when day turned to night. Fucking useless. Jeremy slammed his locker shut and then turned, watching Bonnie from the shadows of the hallway as she made her way downstairs towards French.
It was difficult to live with her but impossible to live without her. And that in itself, was Jeremy's own self imposed car crash.
Set around 2x17, review if you like :)