"Buffy," a slightly rough voice murmured from the darkest corner of the bedroom. Little bits on sunlight were leaking into Willow's room, nearing Buffy as the sun rose higher and higher into the sky that early morning.
Opening her eyes in search of the owner of the voice, Buffy tore the bed sheets off of her and sat up aghast. "Angel?" She gawped at her almost ex. Willow stirred in her sleep beside Buffy, reminding her to be quiet. "Angel what are you doing here?" She asked a little nervously.
"I came looking for you Buffy." He didn't smile; his eyes looked so much darker than she thought was possible. "I was just making sure you're still alive." He looked down to the floor, but then back up at her quickly with a look in his eye that could easily have whispered to her that he was afraid to look away – that she would vanish.
"I'm not." She felt tears prickle behind her eyes and she turned to shake Willow's shoulder, rousing her from her sleep.
Angel opened his mouth and closed it again a few times before he could find his tongue. "I know." He whispered.
Willow sat up rubbing her eyes. "What? Angel? What are you doing here? You're not evil again are you? Because I don't think I can take losing anymore fish." Willow looked up at him doubtfully, earning a half chuckle from Buffy. They all remembered well what had happened to Willow's poor fish. Angel had strung them together like a necklace, and left them in an envelope for Willow to find on her pillow.
"I was just checking on Buffy, I'll leave." He broodingly turned towards the window.
"No!" Willow leaped up, ignoring Buffy's shocked grab for her arm. "I mean, it's getting sunny out, and I don't want you to burn up. Even if you did kill my fish." She looked between Angel and Buffy's mirroring expressions. "What? It's true, I still like Angel even if he scares the begeezus outa me."
Angel ignored her almost harsh words, and sat down in a chair far enough away from the window that he hoped he wouldn't have to worry about the deadly rays of the sun. "We need to talk." He said suddenly, without taking his eyes off the suddenly very interesting window.
"I guess we do." Buffy answered, watching his carefully.
"Well then I'll leave you too alone. Breakfast time!" She skipped to the door, pulling it open. "You want anything?" She directed the offer at the slayer turned vampire.
"No thanks Will." She watched the door ease shut, and waited for Willow to leave ear shot.
After a few moments of awkwardness, Angel moved a little closer to Buffy. "So, you're living with Spike now?" He winced as though the words were physically hurting him to say.
"I dunno," she shrugged, looking down. "We kinda had it off last night. He got kind of harsh." She forced a weak smile, acting as though it didn't bother her. Her almost ex boyfriend saw right through her though.
"What did he do?" Angel's eyes found hers. "Did you hurt you?" Voice shaking with slight hysteria at the remembrance of his grand-childe's strength.
"No, no." Buffy made a face that told him he was nearing insanity. "He, I dunno he kinda acted like I was just some annoying kid to him." She looked at him gingerly. "He told me that he wouldn't care if I got killed – again."
"Yeah well don't take it personally, it's Spike, and in case you forgot Buffy, he spent the last while trying to kill you. I don't see why you'd run off to be with him when there are so many other people here for you!" All of his anger towards the bleach blonde came toppling out of his mouth, coating his words with venom.
"He's not the only one who was trying to kill me." She pointed out sadly.
Angel sighed and turned away. "I know." It was silent again for a while. "Buffy, why don't you stay with one of us? You could still be you. You could patrol at night, and go to the Bronze, and have fun." He seemed ready to continue his list but Buffy cut him off.
"Angel," she shook her head. "I'm more scared than I ever thought was possible. And Spike is helping me." Looking at Angel's pained expression; Buffy felt a wave of old emotion return to her. She loved this man. He was her everything once upon a time. "What happened to us?" he breathed.
His only answer was to wrap her in his arms, and pretend for a second that they were okay, and for just a second, she closed her eyes and pretended with him. Living a little part of her lost life. God she missed him. But if wasn't him anymore. She no longer crippled over in pain or lost her lungs when she thought about him being gone.
When he gave up on waiting for her answer, he made to leave. Standing at the window which he had pulled open, letting stinging light through, he stopped and took a deep breath, looking down. "You should find Spike." He said glumly without looking at her, and then he was gone.
Racing to the window from the bed, Buffy looked out the window dreading to see a burning man on the Rosenburg's front lawn. She was relieved to see a man hole slide shut out in the street.
"Where's Angel?" Willow asked nervously when she came back in. She looked around for her vampire friend, but grew more and more nervous when she didn't find him anywhere.
"He left," Buffy said with a slight smile. "He said that I have some damage control to do with Spike." She chuckled and got up from the bed.
"You're not leaving are you?" Willow asked with wide eyes. "I was hoping we could call Xander, have a real good hang out just like we used to." Her eyes pleaded with Buffy's.
Laughing again, Buffy said "Aww Will I wasn't going anywhere." She wrapped her friend in a tight hug. "And you know this used to thing you keep talking about isn't past tense, and I was human just like a week ago. So chill ok?" She pulled out of the hug and picked up the receiver to the phone on Willow's side table. "Let's make with the Xander calling."
While Willow was on the phone, Buffy realized how ravenous she was. When was the last time she'd had... Blood? No, she wouldn't think about that. Today was about being normal again. She could pretend for today that she was still human. No thinking about blood. She scolded the Buffy brain.
"Hey Wills, do you think we could make some popcorn or something?" She said brightly. Didn't Spike usually eat people food when he couldn't have blood? Who knows, maybe it'll help.
"I know Rupert, I just..." Joyce looked out the window, and then back at Giles before finishing her sentence. "I just miss her. I mean," she put her hands out to the side and then clapped them together. "I didn't even get to say goodbye." Joyce felt the hard pain in her chest while she spoke about her deceased daughter. But she was cried out. She'd cried for the past week without stopping, and she felt like she'd never cry again. Now she was just tired.
"I know, and I'm sorry." Giles cleaned his glasses, completely forgetting the reason he'd come. Now he was at a loss for words to say.
"If I could just see her one more time, tell her I love her..." She shook her head.
Giles hesitated, deliberating. "What if..." No I can't tell her, he thought changing his mind. She just wouldn't understand. But then deciding that as her mother, she had a right to know. "What if I told you that you could see Buffy again?" His face was blank.
"Rupert please," she whispered. "I don't think I can take this. Maybe you should leave." Is he trying to kill me?
Xander made it over in record time, and the three friends were joyously eating popcorn in Willow's room. Buffy was overjoyed when she found that the popcorn helped with the whole blood lust thing. Maybe I could live off this stuff... She thought. But decided that it was probably stupid to encourage such notions.
"So you're gonna go back to Spike tonight?" Willow asked, eyebrows up in a hopeful relationships are beautiful sort of way. "Want us to come? You know, in case he's still a little angry." She rolled her eyes to the side, internally kicking herself.
"Yeah Buff, we'll come with you. Say hi to the old Spikester." Xander smiled brilliantly. There is just too many things to say about that guys hair! He thought with a chuckle.
"What?" Buffy questioned, eyebrow raised in suspicion.
"Nothing," Xander brushed her off quickly. Control your thoughts Xander, no laughing at stuff other people can't hear!