Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders, "Rock The Casbah" by The Clash, "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'" by the Righteous Brothers, or any pennames or stories I mention here.

Rating: T

Author Notes: Gaah zomg. This is just crazy. I haven't updated this in forever . . . and wow. I just have to say I love you guys. Thank you for reading my story. I'm just gonna start piling out random crap and ideas I have, so yeah.

I've been reading over my reviews, and I'm just amazed.

As said by SourKeysAndRomanticHeartache: "Kair and Dallas should hook up." YES WE SHOULD—I mean. I . . . can't.

Anyway, I need a victim—I mean . . . fellow author to pick on—I mean . . . include in the story with your permission.

So yeah.

What's in a Fan Fic

"So . . . who are you, anyway?" Darry wondered how the hell she got into Kair's house in the first place.

Twirling a piece of her long, curly hair, she let out a giggle before putting her hand over her mouth. It seemed like she wasn't supposed to giggle—she was supposed to be "tuff", like all the other greasers. With a wannabe 'I'm-so-apathetic-and-cool-like-Dally' face on, she said, "I'm Mary."

". . . Mary?"

"Mary Sue!"

At that, Kair burst into a hysterical fit laughter for a few seconds before going back into an unconscious state.

Steve and Darry just stared at that. ". . . Is she okay, Dar?" The older greaser poked her cheek.

No response.

Darry merely shrugged at him. Meanwhile, Two-Bit and Dally seemed too caught up in "Mary". They couldn't keep their eyes off her for some reason. Deep down, Dally always had growing feelings for her—it was just the way she acted—she was cute, yet so tuff.

And Two-Bit, of course, was like that with every girl whose eyes were capable of changing colors.

. . . Yeah, right. Obviously there was something wrong.

"Ooh, what's this?" Mary skipped . . . er, half skipped half walked like a thug towards the computer screen.

"It's a computer," Ponyboy replied dully before letting out a very long sigh. With one hand cradling his cheek and the other maneuvering the cursor, he found some kind of name."What's an Al . . . lay . . . Ca . . . Cade? Ain't that your name?" he glanced over at Johnny, who didn't seem to be paying attention. He was too busy picking at the wall, trying to peel wallpaper, though there was no wallpaper and it was freshly painted.

When Johnny didn't reply, Ponyboy decided to click on it. And suddenly, something inside him changed. He felt filled with . . . with music! Not just music, but he felt high . . . or wanted to get high, at least.

He stood up and suddenly, he had this amazing voice . . . but no one could understand his words:

"Shareef don't like it! Rock the Casbah, rock the Casbah!"

"Rock the cat box?" Steve cocked a brow.

"No, I think he said stock the cat box," Soda piped in.

For a second, Two-Bit seemed broken from the 'spell'. "No, it was rock the cash bus so we can hijack it, slap the bitch, and take his money!"

Letting out a slight groan, Mary began tapping her foot because no one was paying attention to her. But it was too bad for her—at the moment no one really cared about her. Hell, they didn't even know how she got there, why would they?

As the three resumed fighting, she began to clear her throat loudly. This was very, very unlady like and extremely unattractive. But she did it again, just to get their attention. Of course, she didn't because she really wasn't as pretty as she thought she—

"THE COOKIES ARE DONE!" Kair wailed, sitting up straight in bed. Dally whacked her upside the head for no apparent reason. "Ow he hurted me!"

The greaser really couldn't tell whether she had amnesia or not at this point. "Do you know what a Kair is yet?" he peered at her. "Or more importantly, will you tell us what slash is already!" Yes, Dally was back in character, all because of the simple fact that he wanted to know what this 'slash' was.

Mary's plan was slowly failing, and she knew that.

"Slash is . . ."

The whole gang stopped and turned around to look at the young teen.

". . . What was I doing?"

"TELLING US WHAT SLASH IS FOR PETE'S MOTHER FUCKING SAKE!"

"OH! Okay!" Though Kair seemed sleepy and had a large bump on her head, she resumed. "It's . . ." she fell silent. ". . . YOU'VE LOST THAT LOVIN' FEELIN', WHOA THAT LOVIN' FEELING! YOU'VE LOST THAT LOOOVIN' FEEELIN', NOW IT'S GONE, GONE, GO—"

With a loud screech that sounded like a dying bird emerging from Mary's mouth, she slapped Kair across the face, scratching her with her newly painted long nails. The ones that she didn't have earlier. Just like the eyes, she seemed to have changing . . . fingernails?

And for some odd reason, Dally threw a glare at her. "Why the hell'd you do that?!" he really wasn't sure why he was getting mad—but some strange voice in his head said that he should be hooking up with Kair.

As if hearing the same voice that Dally just heard, Kair blurted, "I can't, you're not my type!" Of course that wasn't true, but she just didn't want to let down all of the other Dally fangirls out there. She loved them and wouldn't dare take their Dally away from them.

Mary twitched violently. This wasn't supposed to be happening! This stupid author was purposely making everything bad . . .

Narrowing her eyes dangerously, she gave Kair a 'I'm-going-to-kill-you-with-a-knife-and-carve-out-your-liver-then-grate-it-and-flush-it-down-the-toilet' look. Kair didn't know how she actually picked up on that, but she was scared.

Mary then went back to her trying to be adorable scheme and sat down next to Johnny. She began whispering sweet nothingness into his ear . . .

"Ponyboy," Johnny whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I don't get what she's saying."

"What d'you mean?"

"All she saying is 'psst psst psst'."

Apparently, she didn't know that 'sweet nothingness' was a way for authors to describe dialogue they don't want to type out because most of the time they're too lazy to—it wasn't something to take literally.

After a few moments of silence, Dally let out a frustrated groan. He climbed onto the bed and pinned her down by her shoulders. "Now . . ." he said smoothly, making the teen blush furiously, ". . . you're gonna do what I say."

Kair twitched. This was very much like a dream she'd had before—errr . . . did she mention how much she loved her boyfriend?

"Tell me what slash is."

Okay, so maybe her dream didn't go like that . . . well . . . of course she'd never dreamt of Dallas Winston asking her what slash was!

"Okay, okay, I'll tell you!" she squirmed around to get out of his grasp.

Dally let go of her and sat back on his heels. "Alright, then tell me!"

"It's . . . yaoi."

---

Author Notes: Naturally her name was gonna be Mary-Sue.

Oh, and just showing some love to Alle Cade right there. Her story "A New Experience" was a lot different than normal fanfics I've seen, so yeah. I'm not sure if "Rock the Casbah" is rock and roll, but it's what I'm listening to right now, haha.

Lots of inside jokes here.

The whole part with Dally getting the feeling he should be hooking up with Kair . . . yes, I like to amuse myself.

Kair singing "You've lost that loving feeling" is an inside joke between me and my boyfriend . . . yeah we like "Top Gun".

Kair yelling "The cookies are done" is actually a reference to yaoi—inside joke between a friend of mine.

And of course, you guys know what yaoi is? Haha, if you don't you'll find out soon . . .

I'm terribly sorry if this chapter seemed like a waste of time for you guys. But keep in mind that to me this is mostly a remedy to my writer's block. And I really do need a remedy right now . . .

Anyway, now everyone must review and use 'sweet nothingness' in a story sometime soon, haha.

NOTE: Do you like the story? Then I would greatly appreciate if you gave me some ideas by just randomly talking at me . . . like how SourKeysAndRomanticHeartache randomly told me that Kair and Dally should hook up. Give me inspiration, ideas, stuff to work with! And if you want me to pick on you, tell me! Thanks you guys you're awesome!