"Isn't it gorgeous?" Lisa said fluttering her hand at Anna, Castiel ignoring them as he sat at his desk. "Hey Cas, what do you think?"

"Gorgeous" he muttered turning to her with a small smile as she beamed at him.

"Dean always knows the right jewellery for me! We have to start planning!"

Anna clapped her hands gleefully and held on to Lisa's clutching them hard. "I know! This is so exciting; the wedding of you two will be magnificent"

Castiel sighed deeply closing down his work and getting out of the room before he went insane, the topic of that wedding had been no stop for days. He hadn't properly spoken to Dean at all and his phone was filled with messages, missed calls and voice messages, he ignored when he knocked and begged Anna not to let him in.

He hated it but it was for the best, he needed time and space but Dean was having none of it and waited till he saw Anna and Lisa leave the flat before going in. he tapped lightly on the door instead of his usual knock and waited with baited breath for him to open.

Castiel opened it confused and sighed a little when Dean shoved it back hard and smiled at him.

"Oh hey! Remember me?" he cried walking in and closing the door behind him. "Don't even bother lying or even denying it, why have you been avoiding me?"

"I haven't" he muttered walking backwards away from him as Dean walked towards him till he hit the wall.

"Oh you have! I haven't spoken to you in days Cas! You've been ignoring my calls, messages, when I came around you weren't there!" he cried and slammed his hand on the wall near his head making him flinch.

"I wanted to give you a bit of space to be with her and I'm busy! I have work to do! My whole life doesn't revolve around you"

"Did I say that?"

"No! But you are making it out to be that way, Dean" he shouted and then bit his bottom lip hard looking up at him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ignore you or…shout at you, I wanted to give you time with her, it's stupid but…"

Dean sighed and took his hand away nodding; Castiel avoided his eye contact and moved away from him to sit on the couch.

"I've missed you, that's all; it's weird not having a constant presence in your life"

Cas smiled a little and looked up at him to see him sit down next to him heavily and kicking his feet up.

"Really?"

"Yes! Anyway, Sam is coming down tomorrow to see me"

"Oh that's great!"

"So, since me and you haven't seen each other in days, we are going out and I am getting very drunk" he stated tilting his head to look at him playfully.

Cas rolled his eyes but nodded in agreement. "Don't be sick on my again!"

"Promise"

"So how does it feel to be an engaged man?"

"No different apart from wedding plans and Lisa screaming excitedly every once in a while…she wants a big summer wedding" he muttered looking ahead into nothing.

"Don't sound to thrilled Dean, you may explode with excitement"

Dean nudged him with a smirk but it died as he sighed and leaned against the couch.

"I am…I don't know, I just feel like…"

"What?"

"It's daft"

"Dean, tell me!" he cried kicking him gently.

"The spark, that spark that we had in the beginning is just…gone, I mean, the sex isn't that good anymore…it's old"

Castiel cringed and looked away from him cussing under his breath but his heart did a backflip and a cheer at that also.

"Oh" he said and that was all he could say to him at that moment.

"Don't say anything because it'll cause fights and this engagement will be over sooner than it has begun!"

"I promise" he murmured gently patting his knee.

Castiel peeked over to him and smiled to himself, he loathed himself to think it but he was glad that it was gone because he needed that bit of relief inside him that things weren't as perfect as they made out to be.

~0~

"Another beer, Jo!" Dean cried slamming his hand down grinning.

"It's 10.30 and you have already had 9 beers Dean, I think you should calm down like Castiel who is only on his third mister"

"So? Please, Jo!" he pleaded kissing her hand gently and looking at her with big wide eyes.

"You are a menace, here! I hope you are sick tomorrow and holding your head in a massive hangover"

"Oh! Harsh words Joanna" he muttered sipping his beer and looking to Cas who shook his head at him.

"Toilet" he groaned pushing himself up and moving away slowly. Castiel watched after him and turned to look at Jo who was eyeing him carefully.

"I know your secret"

"Oh really? What secret is that?"

"That you are in love with Dean"

He froze and his heart stopped at her words, he cleared his throat and looked down at the bar.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because it is obvious, you do don't you?"

"No"

"Liar, I know, I can see the signs and don't worry I won't say a word"

He looked up at her in relief and she smiled gently touching his hand. "Oh wow, you do, how long?"

"7 years" he murmured.

She stifled a gasp and squeezed his hand gently. "So you're gay?"

"Kinda, I mean, I have never thought about another man like that because of him, I can't stop it"

"Wow, I'm sorry and you know what, I really wish he was gay…you don't understand how cute you two would be together! You complete him and he completes you".

Cas blushed a little and looked to see Dean stumbling back and collapsing on his back leaning his chin on his head.

"Those toilets are disgusting"

"You clean them then" she cried and moved away to serve a customer.

"You're hurting my head" Cas said tilting his head up a little to look at him.

Dean let go of him and sat down next to him grinning sheepishly.

"Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"You do know you're my best man don't you?"

"I thought you would want Sam for that?"

Dean nodded quickly and gestured at him. "Yes, you and him are sharing the job! You are going to plan my stag night"

"Okay" he muttered looking down at his beer.

"Hey, don't go all weird and quiet on me" he muttered leaning on his shoulder with his forehead.

"Okay"

"Good" he whispered and moved away chugging down his beer.

It hit midnight when Jo chucked them out, Castiel was holding up Dean who was demanding a lock in.

"No way!" Jo cried and shown him to the door.

"Buzz kill!" he shouted and stepped out into the freezing cold air and clung to Castiel who stumbled with his weight.

"If we fall again, I will hurt you" Cas muttered walking down the street.

"Aww, look at you helping me" he muttered wrapping his arms around his neck and nuzzling his neck gently.

Cas' heart fluttered and he stopped for a moment gently unwinding him.

"We need to get you home"

"No, no, I need to tell you something!" he cried and backed him up against the wall, Cas hitting it with a dull thud.

"Dean, what are you doing?" he said shocked.

He wrapped his hands on either side of his neck and focused on his eyes.

"You know you are my best friend right? That it will never change when I'm married"

"I know" he muttered with a sad smile.

"Why are you sad Cas? I can see it in your eyes" he murmured leaning his forehead against his gently.

"I'm not, I'm okay Dean"

"No, no, no you're not because I know you better then you know yourself and you are upset about me getting married aren't you?"

"No" he whispered looking away from him and to the empty neighbourhood.

"You are" he said and grabbed his chin making him face him. "I can see it in your eyes, why?"

"I wish I could tell you" he whispered and stroked his cheek softly, Dean blinking at the touch and focusing on him amazed.

"Tell me!"

"I can't, Dean, let me take you home" he muttered and went to move but was held against it fast. He could smell his cologne mixed with alcohol all around him and felt desire pool inside him.

"No, tell me"

"No!" he hissed looking for an escape.

"Why?" he growled getting frustrated with him.

"Because you wouldn't understand, you wouldn't believe me, I would ruin everything between us, I would ruin…" he trailed off with deep sigh and pressed his hands against his chest and sighed at the warmth.

Dean shifted closer to him looking into his eyes confused and looking down at his lips.

"I might have a bit of an idea"

"I really hope not" he muttered and could feel the tension spark between them and his gut instinct telling him something would happen.

"You are very drunk Dean. Please let me take you home and back to Lisa who will be worried about you, it's nearly half past 12" he pleaded and Dean shook his head slowly.

"I don't want to, I want to know why you aren't happy with me and why I can't over the fact I don't want you with anyone else"

"Excuse me?" he muttered confused.

Dean swallowed and closing his eyes taking deep breaths before looking at him again.

"You and dating, I don't want you dating at all, it hurts to imagine it Cas"

"But, why?"

"I don't know" he mumbled.

"So, you want me to stay single all my life for you? Bit unfair don't you think, don't I deserve someone who loves me back"

Dean couldn't focus properly on his words and moved to lean against his shoulder with a nod.

"It hurts to imagine, don't do it"

"I have to one day Dean, I can't remain single forever, a guy has needs"

"What kind of needs?" he muttered against his jacket.

"Intimate needs Dean, I want someone Dean"

"No" he muttered looking up at him with wet eyes.

"Dean…"

Dean hesitated for a moment before taking a deep breath and pulling his chin towards him and kissing him gently. Castiel gasped shocked giving Dean entry as he deepened it, Castiel could taste the alcohol on his breath but found it strangely hot. His hands moved up to grip the back of his neck and hair and moaned into the kiss.

Dean shoved him more into the wall sliding his tongue across his bottom lip before sliding into his mouth and against Cas'. They slid against each other in dominance, Cas could hear him give a deep groan as it grew more passionate and the heat between them intensified.

They parted for oxygen breathing hard and staring at one another amazed and confused.

"There it is" Dean murmured swaying slightly.

"What?"

"The spark Cas, the one that's missing…I think I've found it" he muttered touching Cas' bottom lip with a smirk.

Castiel swallowed hard and let out a deep breath. "Why did you do that?"

Dean shrugged and moved away from him looking up at the sky. "Fun"

"Fun?" he hissed in horror.

"No…not fun, a test…I can't get you out of my head Castiel"

"Really?" he whispered and he nodded quickly before staggering back and Cas running forward to catch him.

Dean laughed to himself and steadied his feet.

"Come on"

Castiel helped him home and let himself in to see there were no lights on in the house.

"Is Lisa in, Dean?"

"No, sister's tonight because I was going out" he mumbled and fumbled with his keys.

"Give them here" he said taking them off him and unlocking the door.

He gently helped him and turned on the light much to Dean's horror as he hissed and covered his eyes like a vampire.

"Go lie down on the couch and I'll get you water" Cas cried shoving him gently to the living room and went to the kitchen. He leaned against the counter breathing deeply; he still couldn't believe what had happened back then. He couldn't regret it if he wanted to because it was everything he had dreamed of and Dean was an amazing kisser.

He poured his water and went back in to see him sprawled on the couch.

"Here" he whispered crouching down and helping him drink it.

"Stay with me?"

"You didn't stay with me last time"

"Yeah but tomorrow is a Sunday! Please Cas!" he begged pulling him down to his level.

"Okay, one night!" he muttered and then frowned. "On here?"

"Yes! I am not going up the stairs, it's too high" he whispered dramatically and patted the couch. "We'll spoon".

"We are not 16 anymore Dean"

"I don't want to move though! Cas, do this for me" he pleaded.

Castiel moved to turn off the light and lay down next to him on the couch. The lamp from outside gave a little light so he could Dean look at him with a small smile.

"Go to sleep" Cas whispered and turned over facing away from him, he sighed and gasped a little when he felt Dean brush his cheek over his hair gently and fidget.

"What is it?"

"Turn back around" he cried loudly making him do it and cover his mouth.

"Be quiet" he hissed and lay back down facing him this time, Dean moving closer to him and smiling gently.

"That's better" he whispered closing his eyes and breathing deeply. Castiel watched him for a long moment and bit his lip stroking down his cheek.

"What the hell are we going to do now? This is so you Dean Winchester, you mess with my head and make me fall in love with you over and over again"

He closed his own eyes and felt Dean's gently breath on his cheek and smiled slightly. He didn't think he would have this again and he wanted more, much more.

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