Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. Dammit.
It happened sooner than she thought.
After all their hard work, they'd found him. They had followed the money, the files, the fire, the corruption. They found leads, secrets, storage vaults, hidden files, and the darkness that had birthed the man who ordered the deaths of so many people she held dear. It was a long, arduous, winding road peppered with hardships, but Beckett managed to find out who it was that had her mother and so many people killed.
And as always, Castle was with her every step of the way. Castle, who protected her. Castle, who grounded her. Castle, who loved her.
Castle, who saw the shooter and took the bullet meant for her. The bullet he couldn't catch last time.
And now she was the one who didn't notice until it was too late.
He'd jumped in front of her, and his body convulsed. They heard the gunshot after the fact. Esposito and Ryan quickly drew their weapons and went after the shooter as Castle, his eyes wide with shock and pain, looked down at the blood that covered his midsection.
"CASTLE!"
The scream exploded from her throat even as her body moved to catch him. Her hand moved to press against the bleeding hole in his abdomen, feeling his warm lifeblood pump through her fingers as his blue eyes rolled back in his head. His weight made her stagger, then drop to her knees. She gently lowered him to the ground and tried to stop the bleeding.
"Castle, Castle! Stay with me!" she shouted, slapping his cheek to make him open his eyes again. Resting his head in her lap, Beckett kept one hand pressed on his wound while she used her other hand to brush his hair from his eyes. "Don't go! Don't do this to me! Dammit, don't leave me!"
You can't be afraid of love forever, Katie. The words echoed in her head like a half-remembered dream, but she paid them no heed. With Castle bleeding out in front of her, she needed to concentrate on keeping him alive. She tore off her jacket and wadded it up, pressing the ball of fabric against the wound.
"Please Castle, please!" Beckett begged, practically sobbing. She could hear Ryan calling for an ambulance while Esposito handcuffed the assassin. But she tuned them all out, focused as she was on Castle. He was pale, too pale, and his face was going slack. "C'mon Castle, fight! Don't give up on me!"
That voice spoke again. If you wait too long to fall, he may not be there to catch you.
"You listen to me, Richard Castle!" Beckett shouted. Her voice cracked on his name, but she pushed on. "You listen damn good. I remember everything about the shooting, Rick. I remember the gunshot. I remember you tackling me to the ground. I remember you begging me to stay with you. I remember you saying that - saying that - that you love me!" Fat, salty tears leaked from her eyes and dripped on his face like rain. "I lied when I said I didn't remember because I was scared. I was so scared of letting myself believe that you'd said that to me, that you'd meant it. I was afraid you'd hurt me. But I know you'd never hurt me, not on purpose, not for a half-assed run around the block. I knew you meant it, I knew it as soon as it left your lips."
He's a good man, Katie. Good for you. He's that rare soul who can understand why you are the way you are.
"You get me, Rick. I don't know how you do it, but you understand me better than anyone." She choked a little, but forced herself to keep talking. As long as she talked, he had to listen. That's just how he was.
He's already told you his feelings. But he's waiting for you to be ready. He'd wait for eternity, I think.
"I don't want to wait anymore. I don't want to push you away anymore."
Now you know what you have to tell him.
Beckett pressed her forehead to his and whispered, "I love you, Rick. I love you. Please, don't leave me!"
Those soulful blue eyes, clear as crystal, fixed on hers with a dying light. His lips parted as if to speak, but a wet cough just released more blood to spatter across her cheek. His eyes dimmed even more. She was losing him.
"Rick! RICK!" Beckett screamed as the medics swarmed around them. "Rick, please! We're close, we're so close! Just hang in there, please! Don't leave me! Don't leave me all alone!"
Castle seemed to gather some strength from somewhere deep within himself. Focusing on her, his lips moved silently. I...I lo -
"Detective, step aside!" Reflex made Beckett scoot aside to let the medics move in around the writer and do their job. But in doing so, she lost sight of Castle completely. Strong arms - Ryan's and Esposito's, she figured - kept pulling her back away from Castle. She fought the whole time, kicking and screaming her partner's name past the tears.
The medics strapped him to a gurney and hauled ass back to the ambulance. With a monumental effort Beckett threw off Esposito and Ryan and bolted for the vehicle, flying inside just as they were shutting the doors. "I'm riding with him!" she said, flashing her badge.
"You can't!" squeaked one medic.
Her eyes were blazing with rage, pain, and not a little desperation. "He's my partner!"
The medic was about to reply, but his partner shushed him. "I know you," he said, looking at Beckett. "Detective who got shot in the cemetary a few months back, right? I was on that ride too." He looked at the younger medic. "Let her be. If this is anything like last time, she just might keep him alive long enough for us to get him help." Glancing back at Beckett, he firmly ordered, "Stay out of our way."
Beckett nodded vigorously, taking Castle's limp hand in hers. It was already starting to get cold, so she chafted the skin between her hands. "Come on Rick, hang on," she said over the sirens and the EMTs. "You've gotta hang on, Rick. You have to. Please!"
She held onto his hand the entire time. Through the whole ride. Then when the back doors were thrown open, she raced alongside the gurney as they rushed him into the ER. She held his hand until the doctors ordered her to let go, and she watched in desperate terror as he was rushed into the OR.
The red sign flicked on, and she sat on the hard bench to wait.
Suspense! Fear! Conclusion? Soon!
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