Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.

It was hell waking up with pain in his side and a mask over his face, but Castle was ever-so-glad that he woke up at all. Blinking to clear his foggy vision, the writer tried to figure out where he was and who was in the room with him. But with the ambient light and his eyes still bleary from the anesthesia, he could only hazard guesses based on hair color and cuts.

Short red hair? His mother. Long red? Alexis. Both were across the room, leaning against each other in uncomfortable plastic chairs and apparently asleep.

Straight black hair? Lanie, sitting with what looked like Esposito. They were very close, leading Castle to believe that they shared a chair.

But where was Beckett? Where was that long-haired brunette? Trying to look around without feeling too much pain, Castle couldn't see her.

But then he felt the warmth and weight on his hand, and looked down at his side. Long brown hair haloed around the face he'd come to see in his dreams, a face that lay beside her hands that clasped his own. She looked tired and worn and pale, but beautiful. Always beautiful.

"Mr. Castle?" His eyes flicked over to the doorway where a young doctor stood quietly. Entering the room without waking any of the occupants, he shined a light in Castle's eyes. "Your eyes are reacting to light well. Can you understand me?" Castle nodded slightly. "Good, that means no concussion or brain damage. Keep the mask on for a while longer, just to be safe. Other than that, you seem fine and well on the road to recovery. I'll be back later."

Again Castle nodded, showing his thanks as the doctor left as quietly as he'd arrived. But once he left, Castle scowled and decided he needed an unobstructed breath of fresh air. Reaching up with his free hand, the writer pulled off the breathing mask with a groan.

The noise and movement made Beckett react like a gun went off. She sat up straight in her seat, her eyes wide open and focused directly on Castle. When she saw his startled expression, those beautiful eyes started to glisten with tears. "Castle? You okay?"

"Well, now I know why you were so crabby after you got shot," he joked, grimacing in pain as his side twinged.

She grinned back. "Yeah, you're fine, wiseass."

Their banter woke everyone up, so Castle had to paste a smile on his face and reassure his mother and daughter that yes, he was fine, no he wasn't in pain, yes he was hungry, could they please scrounge up some decent food? Esposito and Lanie left with them, saying they would call the precinct and tell everyone that the writer was all right. Once they left, he slumped back against his pillow and sighed. "God, that hurts. Now that I know how a bullet wound feels, I can write about it accurately."

"Because God forbid you didn't take something away from this event," Beckett joked. Serious again, she leaned forward. "You need anything?"

For a moment, Castle was tempted to say nothing. But his drugged brain couldn't activate the filter between his thoughts and his mouth in time. "Clarification."

"About?"

"I'm going to assume that you got the guy."

Beckett nodded, eyes cold. "Yeah. Him and the guy who hired him to kill me, my mom...everyone. He's done."

"So...the cases are closed."

"Yes," Beckett replied, starting to look confused. "Castle, what's on your mind?"

Castle swallowed hard, steeling himself. Now or never. "I remember."

"The shooting? Castle, it'll pass, trust me."

"And after." Blue eyes met brown. "I remember everything, Kate. Everything."

The look in her eyes reminded him of a deer frozen in the sights of a hunting rifle. Poised for flight. He instantly regretted opening his mouth, but that soon passed.

She'd known about his confession as she bled out in the cemetary. She'd known all this time. He'd kept quiet out of the belief that she hadn't heard him, kept his feelings hidden to not scare her off, kept up his happy-go-lucky attitude without showing just how much he loved this stupid, impulsive, incredible woman. And all this time, she'd known.

He was understandably annoyed at being strung along like an ass.

After an unbearably long amount of time (really only a dozen seconds) Beckett nodded. "Good."

"Good?" Pain, both physical and emotional, made his voice caustic and sharp. "Good? You let me feel like an idiot for saying it and you not remembering, blow me off for three months, then come back and let me keep thinking you have no idea how I feel?" He tore his eyes from her face and glared out the window. "That's cruel, Detective."

"Hey, I had a lot to process at the time," she replied, defensive and hating it. Since when do I explain myself to him? she wondered. But she knew why - because he deserved to know. "I'd just been shot. I lost Captain Montgomery. I'd been through cardic surgery. It was easier to just pretend that the shock had given me temporary amnesia."

Castle refused to look at her. That broke her heart all over again. Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she continued, "Afterwards, I just...I got scared. I broke up with Josh because he kept blaming you for me getting shot. I just had to get away from it all. When I got back, I was so sure you'd still be there. But you weren't."

That had hurt the most, she realized. She'd expected Castle to be waiting at the precinct with coffee and open arms, and all she got was an empty chair beside her desk. She'd gotten used to him waiting for her. It never occured to her that he wouldn't be there.

It never occured to her that he'd leave.

"You weren't there," she repeated, "and I had no idea what to do. It felt like a part of me was missing, like there was a hole in my heart I hadn't noticed until I saw you were gone." Just thinking about it made her tense up. "It made me realize how much I depend on you, how much I rely on you...how much I care about you."

"You have an odd way of caring," was his terse reply. "Avoidance being the key way."

Finally Beckett lost her patience. "What do you want me to say, Rick?" she snapped, keeping her voice low so as not to wake the other people in the room. "You want me to say sorry? Then fine. I am sorry. God, I am so, so sorry for making you feel like a fool and an idiot and a gutless sap."

Angry sarcasm did what apologetic excuses failed to achieve. Castle swung his gaze from the window back to her. Beckett felt her breath catch in her throat when those crystal blue eyes caught hers in a glare that was both pissed and passionate. How could I not tell that this man loved me? she belatedly wondered. How could I not see it, if he looked at me like that every day?

"It's too late to say sorry, Kate," he retorted. "It doesn't matter anymore."

This is it, she thought. He's done with me. He's going to leave too. He's going to -

He reached over and took her hand in his. "I'm just so glad," he said honestly, a relieved smile breaking over his face. "Here I was thinking you'd cop out again."

Even stunned, her sarcasm reflex kicked in. "Cop out? Really? That's all you could come up with?"

"What? I thought it was punny."

She rolled her eyes. "Castle, you're - "

"Impossible?" he supplied. "Incorrigible? Unbelieveable?" A cocky smirk touched his lips. "Irresistable?"

Beckett felt her heart swell with love for this man-child who'd marched right into her well-ordered life, caused chaos and mayhem, and proceeded to make himself at home. She returned his smile. "Mine," she said.

His eyes widened comically. She giggled at his reaction. "What, you didn't think I'd say it?"

"We being truthful here? Then no, not really." Castle squeezed her hand. "But I'm glad you did. Now I don't feel like too big of an ass." He fell silent, a thoughtful look on his face. "Kate?"

"What?"

"There's something on your face."

"Huh?" Her free hand flew up to touch her face. "What? Where?"

"It's down..." She moved her hand. "No, left...right...Oh stop it, just come here. I'll get it."

Beckett frowned as she leaned closer. "Castle, what is it? Can you get it o-mmmmmph!"

His lips pressed against hers, and the homicide detective leaned forward unconsciously, her eyes fluttering shut. For a brief moment she flashed back to that cover kiss they pulled going after Lockwood, but that had been just a fake. This was real, true and really happening.

And damn, was he a good kisser.

When he pulled away, there was that cocky man-child grin on his face. "Got it."

Beckett was torn between smacking him and kissing him again. Pursing her lips in a pout, she opted to smack his shoulder, lightly due to his injury. "You better only do that with me," she said.

The cocky grin grew wider and more smug. "Always," he replied.

She leaned forward, her own smile playing along her lips. "Oh look, Castle," she said in a fake surprised tone. "You've got something on your face."

"Oh? Would you mind getting it, Beckett?"

"It might take a while," she replied. "It looks pretty stuck - "

He didn't wait. With a tug of her hand, he pulled her in for another searing kiss.

Grinning like a Cheshire Cat that found the creamery, Alexis shooed her grandmother and her father's friends down the hallway so as to let her dad and his partner keep their moment. "Let them be," she whispered once they moved out of earshot. She handed Esposito his cell phone back, displaying a picture of her father and Detective Beckett kissing. "And here. Got that."

Esposito grinned as well, taking back his cell phone. "Excellent. Now I can show Ryan the evidence and he can collect our winnings from the pool."

"Better share some of that money with me," Lanie grumbled, poking her boyfriend in the side. "I lost money on those two."

Thoughts? Review please!

Just in case people are confused: The chapter titles are different types of dreaming (lucid dreaming, nightmares, day dreaming).