Castiel leaned against his chest with his head resting against his shoulder and watched him play with his fingers. Dean admired them as he intertwined them and breathed gently into his ear.

"Who knew fingers could be so fascinating to you" he murmured and felt Dean chuckle behind him.

"What else is there to do at half 3 in the morning"

"Well…" he whispered and smirked when he felt him bite and suck the back of his neck.

"We've already done it twice"

"True" he whispered and turned over in his arms to look at him; he swallowed gently and tried to gain the confidence to say it.

"Dean?"

"Mmm?"

"What are we?"

Dean frowned in confusion looking down at him.

"We're humans?"

"Funny, no, what are we? Me and you? I mean, we've had sex Dean; you have cheated on her in the worst possible way now and well…"

He groaned and looked away from him and knew this was coming, he knew the questions would start and he didn't like it.

"Just drop it, Cas"

"How can I!"

"Because it's just sex"

He blinked and looked towards him shocked.

"What?"

"Shit! That came out totally wrong…what I meant was, me and you isn't complicated, isn't full of drama and it's so good"

"What are you trying to say?"

"That me and you strangely enough work and I want to continue but not change anything"

"You want an affair?"

"Well no and yes, I mean I don't want to hurt her but I don't want this to end" he murmured bringing him closer and tilting his chin up towards him.

He looked away from him and Dean couldn't stand the hurt in his eyes.

"I know I am being a selfish dick but that's the way I feel, it's up to you now because if you want to we'll end this now and try and move on from it"

"That can't happen, not after this…"

"So, what now?"

Castiel reached up and cradled his cheek in his hand staring into his eyes wondering what to do, he knew this was very wrong and cheating wasn't something he did and Dean did but it was happening. He knew if he told him it was now over he couldn't resist him.

He looked into the depths of his eyes and decided to wait it out, he would wait until the right moment to either end it or make him choose because there was no way he was going to let him have his cake and eat it.

"We carry on"

"You sure?"

"Yes" he whispered and kissed him sealing the deal.

Dean nodded surprised and held him close closing his eyes, Cas resting against his chest and listening to his heartbeat with a heart full of dread and love for him that he couldn't overtake, no matter what.

~0~

"Castiel, a word please" his college tutor called to him the next day when he was in lesson.

"Jeremy?"

"I would like to inform you since you are the last to know that we are taking a trip this Friday for 1 week"

"Oh, where?"

"Chicago to visit a little place called Nations to look at the databases there, I need you packed and ready"

"It's free?"

"Oh and additional $50, I hope this is okay?"

"Fine" he muttered to Jeremy's delight as he patted him on the back and walked off.

"I'm going to Chicago" Cas whispered to himself and picked up his bag and walked out and back home to see Anna.

"Chicago for a week? Wow! You are so lucky"

"You think?" he muttered leaning back on the couch in deep thought.

"Yes! You get out from under my feet for a whole week" she cried and dodged his kick at her.

"Oh aren't you hilarious!"

"I am thank you, it'll be good for you and you get to get out of here for while"

He nodded and then his thoughts went to Dean and he realised he would have to leave him for a week and swallowed hard.

He hadn't seen him for two days apart from the occasional text now and again; he was finding it difficult now because he needed him more than ever.

"Hey, are you and Dean okay by the way?"

"What makes you say that?" he spat back quickly much to her alarm.

Anna shrugged and eyed him curiously.

"I haven't seen him in two days and you two see each other every day"

"I've been busy and so has he, he has a rush on at work with a badly wrecked car and a pissed off gentleman"

"Oh right"

He looked out the window to the bleak grey sky and it felt like his mood was reflecting back on him, he hadn't seen him in days and he didn't know when due to him being stuck at Lisa's side 24/7.

Dean was working into the dead of night on the car.

"Stupid stuck up dickhead and his precious fucking car" Dean growled throwing his spanner down and closing up for the night.

He knew one person he wanted to speak to right now and it wasn't home, he picked up his phone and rang him.

"Hello" he cried gently down the phone.

"I miss the sound of your voice"

"That isn't cheesy at all, Cas" he smirked walking down the road slowly.

"I don't care! How are you?"

"I'm okay I really do miss you though and I miss all of you"

"When can I see you? Because really soon could be good right now"

"I don't know…I'm really busy lately, pub tomorrow?"

"I can't…"

"Why?"

Castiel hesitated and shook his head. "Don't matter"

"You sound like you are keeping something from me"

"I may be"

Dean stopped in the street and frowned puzzled. "Well stop keeping secrets and tell me"

"I'm going away for a while"

"What?"

"Look, come round tomorrow and I'll tell you…morning preferably"

"Okay, where are you going by the way?"

"Chicago"

"Chicago!" he cried shocked and heard Castiel laugh softly down the phone.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow and remember to be early"

Dean heard him hang up and looked down at it in complete shock.

"Chicago?" he said to himself and couldn't wait till tomorrow.

~0~

Dean waited till he thought Anna would of gone to work and banged on the door.

"Okay, calm down" Castiel said and opened it up to a smiling Dean.

Dean looked him up and down, he couldn't help but smile at what he was wearing and how he looked. Castiel was wearing a simple blue dressing gown and his hair was sticking up from sleep.

"You look gorgeous" he murmured inviting himself him and grabbing hold of him.

"Seriously? I have bed hair"

"Gorgeous" he muttered and pushed him to the kitchen table, grabbing his hips and placing him on top of it.

"Anna is gone isn't she?"

"I think so" he muttered and didn't remember her leaving but she must have he thought glancing to the clock. He spread his legs letting him come into them and wrapped them around his waist.

"I think we forgot the hello's" he whispered bringing him down to a kiss.

Dean swept his tongue across the roof of his mouth tasting his toothpaste and wrinkling his nose a little at the taste.

"Hello"

Castiel smiled and bit his lip looking up at him feeling better now he could touch and kiss him all over again with no worries at all.

"So, what is Chicago?"

"Oh yeah, I am going to Chicago tonight with my class for a week"

"A fucking week? What? Why?"

"To look at databases" he grimaced wrapping his arms around his neck with a sigh.

"The fuck? Why would you want to do that!" he muttered scowling hard and away from him.

"I know it's a long time but we can do it, can't we?"

"Yes but I am going to miss you like crazy!" he whispered moving down to kiss his neck, Cas tilting it to give him more access. He still tasted warm from his sleep and he could taste the faint aroma of shower gel and something more, something sweet.

"It'll give you time to think"

"Think about what?" he murmured against his skin.

"Us"

"Not this again, Cas, I told you already!"

"Yes I know but it the time apart may let you see things!" he cried annoyed and pushed him back a little.

"Oh don't get annoyed at me before you leave" he muttered with a deep sigh stroking his cheek. His annoyance evaporated and he softened under his touch.

"Okay"

"Good" he whispered kissing him more deeply this time and bringing him so close so he could arch against him beautifully.

~0~

Unknown to them, Anna hadn't left for work and it was her day off, Anna was watching from her door silently in horror listening to every word and watching every action in complete horror. She closed her eyes and pressed a hand to her mouth not knowing what to do, would she tell Lisa or let it slide because she loved Castiel more.

"Oh what have you done, Cas?" she whispered agonised at her decision.

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