Chapter 14

"Mrs Potter," the matron said stepping towards her as everyone else crowded around desperate to hear what was going on; Holly rose quickly to her feet but felt as if her legs would not hold her and Harry jumped to her side steadying her with a supporting hand. "We have managed to get your husband's heart beating again and he is breathing also; but it is still shallow and his heartbeat is weak." A soft groan escaped from Holly's mouth and she sagged with relief against her father in law who held her shoulders for a second and then passed her to Charlie so he could hug his own wife and sob with relief. "I am leaving a healer in there for the time being until he is stronger but for now he is alive and stable."

"Th-thank you," she replied stepping out of Charlie's embrace in the direction of the door, "can we go back in?"

"Yes Mrs Potter; but…" she paused, "if anything like that happens again I must insist that you leave the room immediately." Holly looked away sheepishly, "I know it was distressing and I understand why you wanted to be there but you have to let us do our job; your interruptions cost us valuable seconds and I have to think of my patients and not their spouses."

She nodded her head at the matron and then turned to look at Harry and Ginny who were waiting behind her, "Do you want to go first?" she asked them warily and Harry took a step towards her.

"We'll go in together," he replied putting one arm around her while keeping his wife in the other.

"N-no," Holly whispered shrugging his arm away, "you…you go on; I'll…I'll wait out…out here."

"Are you sure?" Ginny asked concernedly.

"Aha," she answered turning away from her parents in law and facing the other Weasley's and Potters all staring at the doorway behind it desperate to see the member of their family still fighting for his life. She looked down at the ground as the door closed behind them but eventually had to lift her head and look into the faces of all the people who knew what she had done to James only a week before; as they gazed back at her she felt the guilt cut her heart once more.

This was the first time she had seen any of them, other than Lily, Molly and Vernon since before James had moved out of their marital home; and even when she had seen them it had been during the panic about Isabella, and then James, so she had not even cared then what they thought of her. However now that she was here in front of them all and James was so close to death she felt every scrutinising glare attacking her for what she had done to him in his last week and it took all her strength to hold herself up and venture to find a seat. Her best friend, and James' cousin, Rose, was on a chair further down the corridor and as she caught Holly's attention she stood up with a smile on her face and walked towards her. "Let's go in here," she said softly as she took her arm and guided the distraught girl back into the waiting room where she felt like she had already spent an eternity that day.

Rose closed the door behind her husband, Salamander, who had also entered the room; then she took a seat beside her distressed friend. Taking Holly's hand in her own she began to rub it as she took deep breaths and forced herself to believe that James was going to be alright; he had to be.

"Where are the children?" she gasped suddenly realising that all the family seemed to be gathered in the hall outside and she had left her children with Molly and Lily who she had already made eye contact with before entering the waiting room.

"Roxanne, Lucy and Molly are looking after them all at the Burrow," Rose explained mentioning the youngest of her generation of Weasleys who were all now out of Hogwarts, "Remus is there too," (the eldest of the younger generation and about to start school in September.) "They'll probably be driving them all mad now," she chuckled, "Roberto is there and we dropped Maria and Stephanie off before we flooed over here too," she finished referring to her own two children. Maria was the same age as Daniel and Stephanie four years younger and Holly allowed herself a half smile as she thought about the three young girls left to care for her brood of five, Rose's two and Roberto even with Remus' help; though she imagined that he was probably being more of a hindrance at eleven years old. She assumed Teddy and Victoire's youngest, Angeline, would be there too and knew she would be off in a corner with Isabella telling secrets and comforting the girl who would be blaming herself for all of this.

"What…what do they know?" she asked.

"That you found James and brought him home but he had to go to hospital to check out some injuries; we didn't mention how serious they were but Isabella still looked worried when I left."

"She will be; she thinks that it is all her fault," Holly sighed allowing herself to stop worrying about James for a moment as she thought about her eldest child.

"She'll forget about it when James is back at ho-" she paused and looked at her friend. "-Is well again," she finished looking away.

"Everyone hates me, don't they?" Holly asked in a timid voice. "I don't blame them; I did a terrible thing to James and if anything happens to him now I will never forgive myself." Rose gasped at her words and held up Holly's hand, "I was so stupid Rose; I didn't mean it; I don't even know now why I thought I did. I can't live without James and I don't want to," she sobbed and her friend began to rub her back as she leaned into her shoulder.

"They don't hate you Holly; nobody hates you and when this is all over you can tell James how you feel and none of it will matter anymore," she crooned.

"But what if he won't take me back?" she asked sitting up and looking imploringly at her husband's best friend and Rose's husband. "I hurt him so much; what if he…he doesn't want me anymore? What if it's too late?"

"Holly," Salamander said coming to sit beside his wife, "James loves you and he will take you back; he will do anything for you, anything; and if you tell him how you feel he will take you back unconditionally."

"I'm just scared that it might be too late; and if…if something happens to him then…then it will be."

Rose opened her mouth to speak but at that moment the door opened and Lily popped her head around it. "Mum and Dad say you can go in if you want; they'll wait out here for a bit with us and you can be alone," she whispered with a smile.

"It's okay, I'll…I'll wait in here for a while; you go in…and Albus and Vernon; let everyone see him. I'll…I…I can wait."

"But Holly-" Rose began sensing that she was avoiding something but she was cut short by her friend.

"Rose it's fine; let the rest of the family see him," she said in a sharp tone and Rose let the matter drop.

Holly avoided going to see James for another hour as the tribe took it in turns to sit by his bedside and talk to him; the healer kept watch and came to report that his breathing was getting slightly stronger so the matron had taken her off close watch. When the matron had been to tell them all that he seemed to be steadily improving the family started to leave in dribs and drabs leaving just Holly, Rose and Salamander with James' parents. After seeing Lily and Albus off Ginny finally entered the waiting room where Holly was staring out of the window, still worrying about James but feeling reluctant to go and see him.

"Holly," Ginny whispered as she entered, "why don't you go and see James?"

"I'll…I'll wait, thanks."

"Why are you avoiding him?" she asked softly. "The matron didn't mean you had to stay out of the room altogether; she just needed you out while they worked on him. He looks and sounds much stronger now; I think he's going to make it," she finished smiling softly at the woman who turned to look at her with deep sorrowful eyes.

"But what if it happens again, when I'm in there? What if he stops breathing and…and… I was leaning over him; I was holding him and he just stopped…"

"Holly, he didn't stop breathing because you were there; he stopped breathing because he was gravely injured but he is getting better now; he's fighting back; like the Potters do," she smiled looking at her husband. "Where do you think Isabella got it from when you almost lost her? She didn't give up and neither will James; I promise." Holly stared back at her with watery orbs and tried to nod her head, "Go and see him," Ginny added taking the girl's hands in her own and steering her in the direction of the door, "he needs you."

She opened the door tentatively still afraid to look at him and watch him stop breathing again but with a deep breath she pushed the door wide and entered. She could see immediately that he looked better; his skin was still pale but not as ghostly as it had been before and she could see his chest rising and falling with each breath this time whereas before it had almost remained flat. Creeping slowly she crossed the room and sat in the chair by his side before reaching out carefully to touch his hand and hold it gently in hers; it too looked slightly healthier than it had done before and she hoped it was another sign that Ginny was right, he was fighting back. The bandages on his wounds had been replaced and she could see a few seeping red patches where they had obviously reopened when the matron had repeated compressions on his chest. The bottle of blood replenishing potion on the bedside was almost empty but she could see the effect it had had on him already and Holly found herself believing that maybe he was going to pull through like Ginny had said.

She stroked his hand and closed her eyes allowing her head to loll backwards in the high backed chair; the tiredness and stress of the last two days suddenly hit her and she could barely believe that it was hardly even forty eight hours since her daughter had been taken from the back garden. Moonlight streamed through the window of the hospital room which lit up a dark star filled sky and shone directly on the bed. It was almost ten thirty and now that James seemed to be getting fitter Holly allowed herself to succumb to sleep still holding his hand and stroking it gently as she drifted into a peaceful slumber by his side.

At midnight Ginny and Harry peered around the door and saw their daughter in law curled up and deeply asleep beside her husband where she should be; they smiled at the scene and entered quietly checking that their son was still alive before retreating to the waiting room to try and sleep themselves. He had much more colour in his face and they could hear his regular breathing in the quiet room. A healer popped in to check on him and poured the remainder of the blood replenishing potion down the tube in his throat; she listened to his heart and breathing before filling in the chart on the end of his bed and then leaving the room with a brief smile at his parents. Ginny had to check the chart herself and saw that everything seemed to be returning to normal so after covering Holly in a spare blanket from a cupboard on the wall she indicated for her husband to turn around and they left the room extinguishing the gas lamp on the wall as they left. Holly stirred briefly but stayed in her curled position and held onto James' hand a little tighter as she dropped straight back into deep slumber.

It was still dark in the room when she opened her eyes suddenly; something had disturbed her, but what was it? With heavy lidded eyes she glanced around but the room was still empty and all she could hear was James' steady breathing and the whirring sensor which had been left by his side. She sat up a little straighter wondering why she had been roused from sleep and then it happened again; her hand was squeezed ever so gently and she gasped as she stared first at his hand in hers and then at his eyelids as they fluttered ever so slowly open. "James," she croaked.

"James," said a soft and familiar voice as he attempted to peel his eyelids open; they felt heavy and he was weak but he wanted to open them; he wanted to see the person whispering to him.

"Mmm," was the only noise he could make but the voice shushed him immediately as he felt her soft cool hands touch his head.

"Save your strength," Holly whispered, "you can't talk anyway." She chuckled a little as his eyes finally opened wide, "You have a tube in your throat," she finished thinking they had gone wide because he would not be able to talk.

The room was dark but he could make out the figure of his wife standing over him and looking at his face, "It's good to see your eyes," she said with a sigh, "We thought you'd left us," she finished stroking his hand and tousling his hair. All he could do was stare at her as he tried to remember what had happened; he remembered Holly finding him and overpowering the wizard who held them captive; he remembered her apparating them to…the place where they got married but there was nothing else. "I should go and get a healer, and your Mum and Dad," Holly said letting go of his hand and turning to leave; he tried to call out to her but the tube stopped him. He didn't want her to leave him just yet; he didn't want to see anyone else. But then he remembered everything else; he remembered that she had left him, told him she didn't need him and he remembered that she wasn't there as his wife anymore.

His parents entered the room with sleepy expressions followed closely by a healer who removed the tube from his throat and brought him something to drink; Holly hovered by the doorway and watched until the healer had checked everything and then he was left alone with his family. Harry filled him in on everything that had happened while he was unconscious including the fact that he had stopped breathing and Ginny had assured him that the children were all alright and safe at the Burrow. He asked about Hermione and Holly gasped too; with all the worry about James she had forgotten about his aunt who had performed a dangerous spell which had wiped her out. "Ron popped in to say she has woken up," Ginny explained and Holly let out the breath she had not even realised she was holding, "a lot sooner than she did last time I might add! Ron reckons it was his presence that did it! He'd been away for a month last time and she only woke up when he got back to her so he thinks he has healing hands now because she woke up after twenty four hours! Personally I think she woke up just to tell him to shut it because he never stopped talking to her at all!"

James laughed at her comment and smiled over at his wife who was still hovering in the background. Now that he was awake she felt so relieved and after seeing just his eyes she knew that she had been right and she needed him as her husband; but she was unsure of how to broach the subject with him and still scared of the reaction he might have. She joined in some of the conversation as they kept him company while the sun rose but then he drifted back to sleep and Holly decided she would check on the children and let them know that their father was alive and well, if not quite as fit as usual.