I've never done an AU like this before. It's ridiculous. My friend requested a fic involving Zuko and crazy fangirls, which reminded me of an episode of World's Dumbest Fans. So in truth, this is a true story just with different characters used. This is going on the idea that Avatar: The Last Airbender was a TV sitcom.

The Red Carpet

The red carpet reached out in front of him for what seemed like miles. Throngs of screaming fans stood behind the barricades, waving signs with his and his cast-mates' faces on them. The noise was tremendous, his ears ringing, but he had by now grown used to it.

Mai's arm brushed against his as the two of them walked side-by-side down the line. On occasion, Zuko would wave to some of the fans shouting his name, would even stop to sign the posters they waved that had his face staring back at him. He didn't mind the attention, even liked it sometimes. Mai, on the other hand, ignored them completely unless she felt the need to stop and glare daggers at a particularly eccentric person; the girl who decided to fling her panties in Zuko's direction, for example.

It was an exciting moment, to be sure. After three years, the sitcom Avatar: The Last Airbender was finally at a close. He and the rest of the cast—who had long ago become a family to him—were here for their final goodbyes at the Golden Globe Award Ceremony. Zuko had to admit it had come as a bit of a shock when the show had been nominated. Their director had ecstatically sent invites to each of them and they had all happily agreed. Aang, who played Zach Tyler Eisen, the conceited Avatar in the sitcom, had also been nominated for Best Actor in a Television Drama Series, something Zuko felt he definitely deserved. The kid was actually one of the nicest people he'd ever met.

The show's final episode had been filmed some many months ago, so it was nice seeing all of his friends again. Up ahead he could see Katara (Mae Whitman in the show), wearing a magnificent dress of blue—appropriate for the character she had played—that flowed around her feet like water. Aang was beside her, flourishing the staff he had used in the series for a group of girls whose cameras seemed to never stop flashing.

"I'm not surprised Ozai showed up," he heard Mai say over the noise. She pointed past Aang and when he looked he could the man. Ozai looked as smug as ever as he walked ahead, arms folded. He would nod to some fans but did nothing more, looking as though he were breathing in their cheers and attention like oxygen. It was hard to believe the arrogant actor had been able to play Mark Hamill—Dante's overly-joyful father—so well.

But then again, no it wasn't. After all, Mai played Dante's peppy girlfriend, Cricket Leigh, like a pro, when in real life she was as snarky and monotone as any person ever could be. The only similarity between her and her character was that she was indeed his girlfriend.

Zuko waved some more as he continued on, smiling at how just that simple gesture could make the volume in the crowd rise even higher. He saw Mai roll her eyes at him from the corner of his vision, which only made his smile widen. "If it weren't for the fans, we wouldn't be here," he reminded her. But to this she merely replied with her usual, "Whatever."

After a few more minutes of just walking and waving, Zuko decided it was time again to do some autograph signing. He chose to approach a small group of girls who looked relatively calm, one in particular that had caught his eye. She was not screaming or jumping around, wasn't waving any signs or used clothing. She smiled shyly up at him when he drew near, and his heart immediately went out toward this fangirl who could hold herself together. She looked no older than maybe fifteen.

"Hello," he said, grinning at her.

The girl blushed and looked down at her hands where she was holding a camera. Her long black hair fell over her face and hid her from view.

He ignored the others girls at this point, who were practically screaming in his ear. One leaned over the barricade to try and touch his arm but fell back when Mai came up beside him and gave her a paralyzing glare. "Would you like a picture?" he asked.

The girl nodded, still not looking at him. She held the camera up as if to take a picture, but before she could, he added, "How about with the both of us in it?"

The girl's eyes widened before she nodded vigorously, and ignoring a low warning from Mai, he stepped forward. The camera was handed to one of the girl's friends, who was practically spazzing with the opportunity and fumbled with it. "What's your name?"

"Adelina," she muttered softly.

"It's nice to meet you, Adelina."

He helped her over the barricade, her small hand clasped in his so that she wouldn't fall over. They stood by each other, him smiling at the readied camera and waiting. He could feel Adelina moving beside him, possibly from nervousness.

"Uh, Zuko—" Mai started to say, but before she could finish, the camera flashed brightly and he felt something cold clamp around his wrist.

His attention immediately went to his hand, which he tried to pull away only to find it hindered. A pair of handcuffs linked his wrist to Andelina's. The girl was beaming up at him with her bright blue eyes, all signs of being timid gone.

"What-? What is this?" he demanded, jerking his hand away in the false hope that the action might somehow snap the offending cuffs in half, but it only made his captor's hand flail along beside his like a fish.

"Now we'll be together forever," Adelina said. She giggled.

Zuko felt his heart plunge into his stomach at the same time that he felt his temper boil over. He had just fallen for one of the worst tricks in the book. He'd been warned about this so many times. How could he have been so stupid? He stared down at the crazed fan in mute horror.

"Get these off of me." He tried to stay calm, to keep his voice level. It wouldn't be good publicity to show his anger over something like this. Not in front of so many people. But heavens, he was so furious. Could someone really be this dumb, this obsessed, this desperate? Had she honestly thought he would like this?

Adelina faltered. "I don't have the key," she said. She was attempting to sound sorry but was failing miserably, especially with that infuriatingly satisfied expression on her face.

"Huh. Guess there's only one thing we can do, then."

Both he and Adelina turned to look at Mai, who was staring at them with her arms folded. She looked amused, but he could see the glint in her eyes that told him how cynical she was really feeling. "We're going to have to cut your arm off, Zuko."

He gaped at her as she pulled one of the knives that were part of her dress's prop from her thigh-band. "Mai!"

A shrug. "All right. Her arm, then." She turned her attention to Adelina, a wicked grin on her face, and Adelina paled.

"Y-you're lying!" the girl said.

"Watch me." The blade twisted in Mai's grip and the sun glinted off its sharp edge. It was real.

Tears formed in Adelina's eyes. "I really don't have the key," she wailed. "Zuko will just have to walk the red carpet with me." She tugged her cuffed hand toward her chest, taking his with it, and hugged his arm, making him blanch.

"What's going on, Zuk—well, lookie there!"

Zuko groaned and hid his face in his free hand. He recognized that voice.

"Hey, Suki. Looks like Zuko's got a new girlfriend."

Sokka, long-time friend and annoyance, came walking into the scene. It was just like him to show up at the worst possible time.

"That's right," Adelina said, hugging Zuko's arm even tighter. "And he's going to walk with me down the red carpet."

Sokka's brows rose and he looked at Zuko. "Is he, now?" Suki, who was with the man, was covering her mouth in shock. Either that or covering up a laugh.

With a sigh, Zuko stood up straight and looked at his friend with what he hoped was as dignified an expression as he could muster. "I don't see how I have any other choice."

"I gave you the other choice," said Mai, the knife still held firmly in her hand.

"Huhn. Guess you're right." Sokka rubbed his chin for a moment, looking from Zuko to Mai to Adelina then to Zuko again. Then he laughed and came forward. "No use crying over it. Might as well give this, uh.."

"Adelina," Zuko muttered.

"Right. Might as well give this Adelina a good time while she's here." The man in his blue tux—a blue matching that of Katara's dress, something the two must have worked out beforehand—placed his hand on the girl's shoulder, ignoring Zuko's glares. "Ever walked a red carpet before, Adelina? This is going to be something you're never going to forget."