Merlin awoke to screaming in his ears and felt a solitary tear travel down his face. He dressed and sat at the table his brain slowly working out the cause of the pain in his heart. Then Merlin lifted his head and looked forward and his mind screamed. Gaius came rushing in hearing the scream in his mind and shook Merlin and asked what had happened. He got one word in reply. "Mother."
The news came the next day from Will's younger brother who'd rode through the night to tell the people. Gaius was more upset than he let on but he was worried as well. Worried because Merlin hadn't cried or talked in more than monosyllables. He was more than worried about the magic that was bursting out of Merlin whenever he heard talk of him or his mother or Ealdor. A cup would drop or a small inconsequential thing at first but then it grew into a sudden wind or a flaring torch and Gaius just knew that he need to talk to him.
However when he looked he was nowhere to be found. He went to Arthur's rooms and to Gwen's house. He questioned the incredibly drunk Lancelot, Elyan and of course Gwaine. He had started to despair when he saw the black figure surrounded in spiraling wind high upon the battlements. He went as fast as he could to stop Merlin before someone saw. But when he got up there he wasn't greeted by Merlin's voice murmuring enchantments but the smooth voice of Morgana and he stopped in his tracks. He heard her say in her familiar voice "Think about it, Emrys. Please." And he saw a flash of bright light and came through the door and asked the young black haired man in front of him "Merlin, What have you been doing?" He got a curt reply from the figure now descending the stairs "Thinking over my priorities."
From that day forward Merlin did not change his demeanor from the harsh icy tone that Gaius had only heard when Merlin had spoken with Morgana. He betrayed no emotion not even through his ice blue eyes that had once danced with joy. He would disappear during his breaks and return in a whirlwind of fire to his room but Gaius didn't know the true extent of the change bubbling beneath Merlin's emotionless exterior. No one did.
Merlin heard that familiar voice in his head. He had got a message from Morgana to meet her on the battlements. He wasn't surprised nor apprehensive nor anything. He no longer felt anything. So he went to talk with the woman who'd betrayed them all.
"Even my scrying wouldn't tell me if you were coming Merlin. That seems impossible, doesn't it." quipped Morgana as Merlin appeared through a fireball in front of her. She was wearing a midnight blue silk dress and velvet cloak. Merlin always noticed everything about Morgana. Then she really looked at him and gasped at his emotionless ice cold features and asked "What in the name of the Gods has happened to you?" He explained it all including the fact that he was progressing too fast for her, Morgause or anyone to fathom but throughout the entire time neither talked until she croaked "Merlin, I didn't come here without a reason. I need to talk to you." He nodded and stepped back to listen. "I killed my sister. I tried to save her with magic and it killed her. I have no family left now. I wanted to start again with the druids but they pushed me away. So I went to the Isle of the Blessed and met a Sorceress that both of us know, Nimueh, and she explained what the purpose of me, you, Gwen and Mordred is. She wants you to come and talk." Morgana spoke in hushed tones. Merlin shook his head "You know of what happened last time I was near Nimueh. I don't want to test my patience today of all days." replied Merlin in a firm tone. However his argument was effectively nulled as Morgana transported them there anyway.
"Sorry, Merlin but I couldn't not bring you. You need to know the full scale of the destiny connecting us four." murmured Morgana apologetically. His eyes hardened but he followed Morgana to Nimueh's Tower. There stood Nimueh and the years hadn't changed her at all and then she flashed a smile at Merlin "No harm done Emrys." She declared "I'm not going to try and kill you again." She looked at Morgana and probably heard what he'd said earlier and grimaced but then flew the three of them to her scrying fount.
An hour later they were done and Morgana was going to take them back when Merlin asked one question "Is Mordred your son?" This stunned both the women but after a few seconds Morgana smirked and Nimueh nodded and remarked "Yes he is my son, Little Mordred. He told you your name Emrys. I would not take that lightly. He trusts you more than you know." "I neither want nor need the trust of anyone Nimueh. Not anymore. Goodbye." replied Merlin in a curt emotionless voice as Morgana swept them back to the battlements. However as soon as they reappeared Merlin saw Gaius staring worriedly. "Gaius saw, Morgana you've got to leave." murmured Merlin a hint of urgency and worry in the ice cold voice.
'Well I'll talk quickly then. I want you to come with me and leave Camelot. We can go to Ealdor and look around. We can do whatever needs doing but I need you nearby now I don't have Morgause. Without magic nearby I will lose the little control that I have over this. I don't want to turn mad or evil I just want to be Morgana again. I will meet you in the clearing where you listened to me and Morgause tomorrow in your break from my half brother, if you want to come at least.' whispered a silky smooth voice in his head. However much he hated hearing a voice in his head he understood the logic. "Think about it, Merlin. Please." continued Morgana aloud with an appraising look in her eye. Then they both froze as they heard a gasp behind the door and Merlin's mind sent a single word to ring around Morgana's head 'LEAVE!'
She disappeared in a burst of light. Gaius then stumbled through the door and asked the young black haired man in front of him "Merlin, What have you been doing?" As Merlin descended the stairs he replied "Thinking over my priorities." And maybe just maybe there had been a hint of a smile on the ice cold face.