A.N.: So here is chapter 5! Sorry it took awhile to get it up, I was out of town this weekend. Hopefully you like. :-D Also as always a huge thanks to my buddy smalld1171 for betaing this for me, it would not be grammatically correct if not for her!
Disclaimer: You know the drill, it ain't mine.
'Something's wrong.' That's what run through his mind as he pulls into the Roadhouse. It's not so much like something looks wrong so much as feels like it. His suspicions are confirmed when he gets out of his car to be greeted by a morose Jo sitting on the steps.
He takes a few steps towards her and she looks up at him with watery eyes.
"Jo?" he questions, leaves crunching under his boots as he approaches her. "What's going on?"
She might have answered if a car hadn't have swung around from the side of the building at that exact moment.
John Winchester steps out and turns towards Bobby.
"John." he greets him with a wave and John nods his head in acknowledgment.
"Hey Bobby," The man says sadly.
Bobby moves to put himself side by side with Jo and it is not lost on him that she rests one hand on top of his boot.
"What's going on here?" He asks.
John's gaze shifts down to the girl, to the Roadhouse, and then to Bobby
"Jo, go ahead and get in the car." He says.
The girl looks up wide eyed at Bobby.
Bobby may dislike a lot of things about John Winchester, mostly that stubborn asshole streak in him, but he knows he is a good man.
"Jo?"
The girl's lip starts to tremble and Bobby can't take it anymore; he leans down onto the step she currently occupies.
"What's the matter?"
"Mom said I had to stay with John and Sam and Dean tonight."
"Why?" He asks as Jo shakes her head.
"Because," Bobby rises at the sound of John's voice. "Ellen isn't feeling very well."
"Well I can take Jo back to my place. She got the flu or..." Bobby stops mid sentence as something seems to shift in the Winchesters face; something that looks like guilt when he meets Bobby's eyes head on.
"I'll take care of Jo. You just," He pauses, and his chest looks like it is about to cave in with the force of his sigh. "Look after Ellen."
"Ellen okay with this?"
"She asked me to."
Bobby nods, pats Jo on the knee. "We'll see you first thing kiddo. Don't want you to catch whatever your mom's got."
Her head bobs and she shifts her backpack on her side.
"Can't I just stay here with you?" she pleads.
A jerk of John's head back towards the Roadhouse.
Bobby isn't sure what is going on, but he knows it ain't good.
"No Jo, you can't. It will be tomorrow soon enough." He ruffles her hair as she nods and gets up.
Bobby escorts her over to the car and snorts at the enthusiastic waves he sees from the boys in the back.
"Hey Uncle Bobby!" They call out in unison as Dean climbs over the seat to give Jo room in the back.
"Hey Sam. Hey Dean." He can't help but smile at those two idjits.
Jo raises her head to look at him as John buckles up in the front.
"Everything's going to be fine Jo. Sometimes people just get sick, but they always get better."
She smiles slightly at that.
"We'll be at the Motel 6 downtown if you need anything," John begins and Bobby can almost feel his need to gun the car and get away.
"Okay," Bobby leans in close to the window on Dean's side. "You boys be good to my girl here." And the way he says it leaves no room for argument.
"Yes sir." They chirp and Sam beams at him. "Dad said we are getting pizza and watching movies."
John nods and leans in to turn the car on.
"Try not to catch what Mom's got!" Jo yells as they drive away.
Bobby looks up at the foreboding doors of the Roadhouse and thinks 'That's the plan Jo.'
She doesn't even look up when he comes in. That and the fact that she is bent over the wrong side of the bar is the first thing that he notices.
"Ellen?"
She raises the bottle back to her lips, taking a hearty swig. Bobby can see from the label it's the hard stuff.
"Not today Bobby." she grunts out as he moves ever so slowly towards the bar.
"John just left with Jo and the boys."
She nods. "Good. Why don't you go ahead and follow their lead?"
Bobby is almost within arms reach of her now and he can see the tiny bit of liquid still sloshing at the bottom. That means the rest is in her.
"What's going on Ellen?" He asks as he takes a seat and makes a motion to take the bottle from her hands.
She jerks back with a glare and sends the rest of the contents crashing down her throat.
"I said not today Robert."
Bobby winces. In the six months or so they have been dating he has done plenty of things to piss her off, but she has never bit out that particular curse at him.
She goes to stand up and Bobby catches her as she sways on her feet.
"Whoa. Easy there, I got ya."
She pushes off of him and gets caught in one of the few beams of sunlight streaming in past the busted slats in the blinds.
Bobby can see that her eyes are red from far more than alcohol consumption. He can also see the glint of a ring on her finger. A solid gold band that she moves to pull off as soon as she notices he has seen it.
"Ellen?"
"What?" She hisses and moves so she can hold back onto the table.
"What is it?" He wants to reach out and touch her but her gaze is darting around like a wild animal so Bobby decides to leave his hands bunches up at his sides.
"Nothing."
"Last time I checked a person doesn't bury themselves in a bottle for nothing." He says softly.
Apparently it's the wrong thing to say, because she whirls on him. "What the hell would you know about it?"
"Ellen, I,"
"You have no idea what it's like!" She roars and yanks the ring off of her finger. "No idea what it's like to see the shit I have seen in this stupid ass bar! To have an eleven year old daughter that can't remember what her father looks like, sounds like! To have to dig out an old picture just so you can remember! To see your wedding ring covered in dust, because you just can't wear it anymore," she pauses and dry heaves, bent over.
He moves a bit closer to her, caught off guard when she rears back up.
"To have to bury your husband before you were old enough to figure out if you would have made it through the 'for best or worse' part of marriage." Her voice is choked and Bobby can see tears running down her face now.
His hand is on her elbow now as he says softly. "Yes I do."
She challenges his gaze, daring him to lie to her for comfort.
Bobby, unfortunately ,has nothing to lie about.
He swallows the lump in his throat and says. "My wife was possessed."
Ellens' hand goes to his arm in the revelation.
"I didn't know what to do back then so I had to..." He breaks off, unsure that he can keep it together if he has to continue.
Two soft hands frame his face and when he opens back up his eyes he is staring into green pools of shared misery.
"I'm so sorry." She says, more lucidly than he would have thought possible at that point. "I didn't know."
Bobby swallows and reaches up to take her hands in his. "Yeah, me neither."
"I didn't mean," she begins and Bobby can hear the saturation of guilt in those words.
"It's okay Ellen."
"I just needed,"
"Ellen," he kisses her softly. "It's okay."
They don't have words left, nothing but this sharing of grief as he kisses her again and again.
She tastes like cinnamon and spirits and there are tears on his face. His? Hers? Who knows. All he knows is if he could take her pain and bear it as his own, in this moment he would.
She kisses him back. Not with the reservation of a grieving widow, but with the lips of a woman who is falling in love.
"Bobby, I." He's seen her drunk once or twice before, although never under such devastating circumstances, and she always talks too much. Trying to work out sober thoughts from inebriated ones.
He pulls back. "Sorry Ellen, I'll stop."
She smirks at him and God, in this house of gloom it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.
"I was just going to tell you that this ain't prom. You don't have to be so gentle."
He laughs. This is the woman he's fallen for. This spitfire. This kind, gentle, beautiful, funny, Ellen. His Ellen.
"Well don't blame me if you pull something." He retorts and her lips curl up in a grin.
There is just a moment of hesitation, of reluctance, and then they are at it again. He's never wanted anything more in his life. Her arms are winding around him, hands knocking his trucker cap to the ground which is something they both notice with a snort. He hasn't been with a woman in a long time and he's almost forgotten how much he likes the soft curves of them.
He worries he might be coming on a little too strong, a thought that is chased away as soon as Ellen catches his ear with her teeth. "How about we move this into a place a little more private?" she breathes into his neck and he can't respond. In fact it's all he can do to nod.
Her fingers are fast on his button up shirt and then she gazes up at him. Gone are the dark echoes of grief in them, now they are full of nothing but love. For him. If Bobby was a religious man he might have said that God had put them together to heal each other. Or some other Hallmark nonsense.
When he wakes up in the morning and looks down at her naked body curled into him, one hand splayed across his chest, her heartbeat a soft hum against his ribcage, Bobby thinks that he might just believe in God after all. If for nothing else than Ellen Harvelle.
Ellen didn't ever drink to get drunk. Okay sure she had her nights where she had one two many with John or Bobby and ended up getting drunk, but she had never just sat down and stared down a bottle wondering what was at the bottom of it. It just wasn't her style.
She'd seen two many idiots who thought that there was a magical cure to all of life's problems at the bottom. They quickly learned there was no more a magic cure at the bottom of a bottle than there was at the bottom of a toilet or a trashcan, whatever they happened to get to first.
So she was a bit caught off guard when she was combing her daughters hair and she asked. "Mom, what color eyes did Dad have?"
She was in fact so surprised that she ended up dropping the brush.
"What?" She questions, bending over to retrieve the fallen object.
"Dad's eyes. Cause yours are green and mine are kinda brown and I was just wondering if I got them from Dad."
"Oh." She breathes and tries to rack her brain for a clear image of William Harvelle. All she comes up with however, is a fuzzy recollection of her late husband.
"Mom?"
"Yeah sweetie, I think you got those from your dad."
"You don't know?" It's asked with such innocence that it breaks her heart.
"Of course I know baby, you have your daddy's eyes."
Jo smiles at her. "That's cool. I always wondered." And then takes off without so much as a look back at her mom.
Ellen digs through her jewelry box, knowing she has a picture of Bill in there just not sure where it is. After the third attempt to find it, she knocks the box to the ground with a frustrated grunt and out of the chaos rolls a single gold band. When she moves to pick it up her hands are shaking.
The next thing she knows she is gripping a bottle tight, gold ring reflected in the cool brown liquid. It's really not her style to try and drown her sorrows, but then again she isn't feeling much like herself.
When John comes in through the door, his boys trailing behind him, Ellen has to fight the urge to chuck the bottle at his head. After all if not for him... No, she is not going down that route. She isn't thinking too clearly and she knows, somewhere under all the rage, that John has punished himself enough.
"Ellen," He begins, taking a long look at the bottle before shifting his gaze back to her. "Everything okay?"
No, and it won't ever be okay again thanks to you.
"Peachy." She grimaces as she takes a gulp from her glass. She really needs to stop, Jo can't see her like this. Currently, Jo is chatting with the Winchester boys though so maybe Ellen can stop worrying.
"Anything I can do?" He asks as he pulls up a chair next to her.
"No,nothing." she states and prays that he leaves it the hell alone. Her sobriety is diminishing with every gulp and she is not sure how much longer cooler heads will prevail.
John reaches for the bottle. "Can I pour myself a glass?"
"Help yourself."
"Ellen," he starts and lays a hand on hers. " God knows you've helped me and the boys enough times. If there is anything I can do."
"You've done plenty John Winchester." And by the look on his face she said that out loud.
His hand retreats. "What do you mean?"
She downs another glass. "You know exactly what I mean."
By the torrent of emotions on his face she can tell he does.
"Ellen,"
"No, your apologies didn't do shit for me six years ago. They aren't going to do shit for me now."
He has nothing to say to that and it pisses her off.
"Jo, she asked about him today and I didn't know." she whispers into the empty glass.
"Sometimes the boys ask about Mary and I,"
"This isn't about you John!" she bellows, slamming the glass down. "This is about the fact that I can't tell my daughter what my goddamn husband looked like! And you have no right," she chokes back her comment, noticing that the younger audience has stopped chattering and is looking right at her. Jo is looking right at her.
"God," she breathes and turns to John. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm doing." She runs a hand through her hair and John nods.
His face is pale and Jo questions. "Mom?"
"John, just take her. Please, please take her. Take the night off, watch movies, but please take her." She can't let her daughter see her this way, but she can't stop either. Too far gone in the spiral to stop until she has hit the bottom.
He takes a shaky breath. "Okay. Okay. I'll bring her back tomorrow."
Ellen can't look at John as she passes over the bag to him. She kisses the top of her daughters head.
"Mom? Did I do something wrong?"
Ellen crushes her to her chest for just a minute. "No baby, you didn't do anything, I'm just feeling sick. I don't want you to get what I got."
Jo nods. "I hope you feel better Mom."
Ellen bites back a sob. Keep it together Ellen, just till the car drives away.
"Me too honey."
As soon as the door closes with Sam asking "What's wrong with her dad?" Ellen goes straight back to the bottle. Enough of this shit, she's tired of her heart breaking.
The car engine roars to life outside and then the door comes open.
"Ellen?"
Sorry Ellen is not here right now, but if you leave a message...
She takes another hit from the bottle, noticing dully that it's stopped hitting back.
"Not today Bobby." she says and it doesn't even sound like her.
She wants him to leave. Get in your car and get the hell out of here. Before I drag you down with me.
He tries to take the bottle and she can feel herself glare daggers at him. He's only trying to help she knows, but she doesn't want it. Leave me alone with the ghost of Bill.
And then he is catching her. She hadn't even known she was falling. And she hates him for just a minute, for being so kind, for refusing to leave, for not being Bill.
He says something, something that doesn't register in the sane part of her brain so the insane part takes over and she is livid. Roaring and shouting and wishing that there weren't three of him right now cause she would really like to punch one of them in the mouth. Stop moving Singer.
He says he understands and that stops her cold. There is no way he could, no possible way he could understand.
"My wife was possessed."
Oh God. Oh God. I'm so stupid.
She tries to apologize to him, tries to mend the bridge she has begun tearing down and Bobby Singer, bless his heart, tells her it's okay and kisses her. And with his lips on hers it feels like it actually might be.
He's so gentle with her, so soft and forgiving and if she didn't know in the six months they have been doing this dance that she loves him, she sure as hell does now. She stops for just a minute, tries to tell him and the moron tries to apologize for where things are headed. As if she hadn't wanted it as bad as him.
Ellen may be a lot of things, but she isn't a saint and Bobby, well besides the fact that she feels like she might love him so much her heart will burst, he's not a bad looking man.
He says "Well don't blame me if you pull something." and Ellen may have been off the horse for awhile, but she thinks she still remembers how to ride. Turns out they both do as he strips her shirt from her head.
When she wakes up in the morning with a slight headache and a warm body pulling her in tight, she smiles and drapes a hand on his chest. "I think I might just love you Bobby Singer." she murmurs as she snuggles back down onto him. She tilts her head back up to kiss the underside of his jaw and doesn't miss the fact that he is trying to hide a smile.