Thank you so much for your lovely reviews. You didn't have to wait long - here is chapter 2! This chapter is a sort of stepping stone for chapter 3 (which should be big) so there isn't too much going on in it.
Chapter title is from the song 'The A Team' by Ed Sheeran. It's heartbreaking - you guys should take a listen.
Well, love it or hate it, please drop me a review. Just a reminder: please do not favorite/story alert without reviewing! :)
Where do we go from here?
How do we carry on?
I can't get beyond these questions
Clambering for the scraps in the shatter of us collapsed
That cuts me with every could-have-been
Wait It Out – Imogen Heap
There comes a night when she wishes it would all go away. Her heart aches, it aches and twists and beats out a tuneless melody – it cries Stefan's name and howls for the silhouette of his face. She's stuck in a trance – a vivid nightmare, a nightmare that she's fully in control of. She feels herself howl and shriek and yell and scream; she's running aimlessly through a seemingly endless field but she can feel her covers - she hogs them, she holds onto them like her heart is holding onto Stefan.
However, she's crying his name.
Jeremy's the first to walk in – his face is twisted and blurry; he's standing on air. He's saying something, something that's probably soothing, but her head is cloudy and her heart is displaced. He's saying 'shake up' or 'make up' or perhaps 'wake up', but to her, they all sound the same. Jeremy's shuffling uncomfortably – it's not long until she sees Alaric, a little clearer this time, his face a little bit more recognizable. He's holding something to his ear, babbling words down it, and she demands to know what he's doing, screaming pointless words until she feels her throat start to give out. Jeremy holds her, pats her - but she's shaking, shaking with every ounce of energy she has left.
(She knows she only needs one person with her right now.)
He's there in an instant. She's awake now (she thinks), a little bit more aware. She sees that her clothes are strewn on the floor, and all the makeup that lay on her dressing table lie scattered over the carpet. She's truly made a mess. After all that they've been through, she never would've thought that Stefan would be the one to break her, to do something so loving and so selfless but also so terrifying and ruthless.
She runs to him, runs to him because that's the only thing she can do. She clings to him, clings to him because that's the only thing that matters. She moans something about 'not being able to take it anymore', wetting his shirt in her salty tears. For the first time in weeks, she's undoubtedly scared, about what she's not sure of. He whispers things - things that are too sweet for her to taste, things that are too good for her to accept – into her hair, and he beckons her heartbeat to slow down, for her pulse to return to normal.
(She's always known that he's able to save her.)
He's still there when she wakes up. He's propped up on a stool in her bedroom, leafing through a book that looks all too familiar. She peeks around – the writing is handwritten, with hearts doodled around the corners and smileys drawn on in random places.
"That's my diary!" she exclaims, throwing off her covers. She scrambles over to him, clawing her way to her journal, attempting to snatch it out of his hands. He plays with her a little bit, using his undeniable strength to hold her back, to taunt her. She realizes that perhaps 'in the drawer' isn't the best hiding place in the world.
(She thinks they both realize how physically close they are to each other right now.)
"Good morning." His voice sounds like silk – the type of silk that's so precious that royalty keeps it in cabinets never to be used. She resigns a little bit, a smile creeping up on her face, a smile that she hasn't seen herself use in a long, long time.
"How much did you read?" she says. It's not really an accusation – it's just a lingering question, a remark of pure curiosity.
"Not much at all," he replies, pulling his pouty face. "Only to the bit where you and Matt went on that Ferrari ride and he broke up with you."
She breathes a sigh of relief, a sigh so deep that she surprises herself.
(If he had known what she writes about him in there, she would've been dead.)
"Don't you dare do that again," she says, and she does half mean it.
Later on in the day, when all her friends have been over, demanding her to tell all about last night's situation, and when she's had enough hugs to last her another decade, does she hear the set of words that she's been pondering over for the past few weeks. The set of words that truly haunt her, haunt her to the bone but are so necessary that it kills her.
"Should we, like, look for him or something?"
She never thought that Alaricwould be the one to say that. She takes a step back, a little bewildered. It's something she's been expecting someone to say, but everyone has kept quiet about it for so long that the possibility seems so far away. Damon snorts, like this is all a joke, that whatever just came out of Alaric's mouth is perhaps the most ludicrous question of the century.
"It's not a game of hide-and-seek, 'Ric."
She thanks Damon, thanks him with her eyes, thanks him because he's always the first one to reply, always the one who knows best.
"He doesn't want to be found. So we don't find him. It's dangerous, it's reckless and it's suicidal." His tone is dead serious, and she knows he means it, because he is only ever serious when he feels it is necessary. Everyone is silent, no one quite knowing what to make of the situation, no one quite knowing what to decide.
"It's for the best," Damon concludes.
She sees Stefan then, she imagines him on those rampages that both the brothers have told her about. She imagines his face, his utterly, utterly beautiful face, smeared in blood and his hands - his strong, sturdy hands that have held hers on so many occasions – ripping flesh and truly, truly enjoying it. She imagines Klaus, perhaps the only thing(he's not deserving of any other title) that she's ever told to 'go to hell', doing the exact same, but somehow, it's always easier to imagine that. She imagines them as a team. An unstoppable team. An all-powerful, terrifying team.
(A team of villains.)
What she says next is something that shocks her, that she's sure will shock anyone who will hear her say it.
"I don't think we should find him. Not now, anyway."
Just an update: I have a draft of chapter 3 written out, so it'll be with you soon. Please bare with me, guys! Thanks so much for reading. :)