AN: I've had this written for a few days now, but I wrote most of it at 1 in the morning and the rest of it the day after that so I'm sorry if a lot of it doesn't make much sense. I stopped in the middle of this to write Striderless, so, uh, whatever. Okay. It is full of mushy human feelings, by the way. Sorry for any typos. I am so sorry you're about to read this because it makes no sense whatsoever.

Karkat POV

Gamzee walked with me back to my house. It was the shittiest most awkward walk in the history of ever. I was almost glad when it was over.

But why the hell would I be happy to be back there? Of course I wasn't glad. I was a million different things, but not glad. Fuck no.

I was scared-furious-nauseaus-angry-sad-agitated, but nonono, never happy nor glad. I wasn't sure I was even capable of that. Dumb fucking human emotions. Why can't everyone just be angry all the time, like the good ol' days?

Gog, I didn't do stupid things like cry, or, uh, cut myself on Alternia. I remember when I fainted at the sight of blood like a little grubfucking idiot.

It seemed like it had been years since we left Alternia. Which it had, I guess. Dumb fucking Earth years. They're not so great. Solar sweeps are obviously superior. But we left sweeps on Alternia. Everything great is dead on Alternia.

I would rather have been dead on Alternia than standing awkwardly in front of my own house, afraid to move. Gamzee was waiting for me to walk, or talk, or do anything. It was, like, thirty-five degrees out and it was snowing. My fingers curled into the pockets of the jacket Gamzee let me borrow. I stared at my shoes and felt his eyes boring into my back.

Shit, why is this so hard?

"Gam?" I croaked.

"Yeah?"

"I can't move." He sighed, then stepped forward so we were standing side-by-side. Then, faster than the fucking speed of light, he linked our arms together and dashed up the walk to the door (dragging me along with him, the stupid fuckass), knocked once with his free hand, and without waiting for an answer, threw the door open.

Sollux's muffled What the hell? made me want to turn and sprint out the door, but Gamzee still had his arm through mine. I tried to slip away, but he moved too, from that semi-romantic (or it would have been if he were anyone else and it were a different time and place- no, wait, it wouldn't have) bro-escort thing to a firm grip on my shoulder. I had to look up to glare at him, since he's about seven inches taller than I am.

My glare was probably more of a pained scowl, but that didn't matter, because he wasn't looking at me. He was staring striaght ahead with a smug, douche bag look on his stupid face. He's probably getting a kick out of all this.

Asshole.

Sollux walked in, grumbling about the noise. I noticed how he didn't look directly at either of us. His glasses were taped together in the middle. Every muscle in my body ached to run, flee, abscond...

Well, that, or wrap my arms around him.

I was staring at him, I realized. I started to get fidgety - taking my hands out of my pockets, crossing my arms, putting them back in my pockets... I wanted to scream at Gamzee to take his filthy hand off of my shoulder an get out of my house. I wanted to...

There were a lot of things I wanted to do. What I actually did was shrug my shoulders and bite my lip. A little too hard. I spaced out, and sort of forgot that my teeth were sharp as fucking knives for a second or something, because the next thing I knew I was bleeding and cursing all over the damn place.

I swear Sollux looked like he was going to vomit, but Gamzee simply told me to shut up and let him look at my busted lip.

"You're a dumbass, Karkat," he said. Like I didn't already know that. He had my blood on his hands now, and I was starting to feel queasy.

"Dude," I growled. "I'm, like, dripping fluids over here. Can you take your paws off me for ten seconds so I can handle this myself?"

I added, quickly, "S'not the first time I've had to deal with blood." His eyes got wide and he shook his head at me.

"Well, we all know it's true," I hissed, bringing my hand up to my motuh. I stepped away from Gamzee and stumbled out of the room, avoiding any possible eye contact with Sollux.

Fuck, did he move the bathroom? I leave for one night and Sollux thinks he can rearrange the house? No, wait. Houses don't work like that. There's the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror and groaned. Blood was dripping down my chin, off my fingertips. I muttered curses as I turned the faucet on, letting it run until the water was warm.

I rinsed off my hands, blood mixing with water. It was a familiar sight.

I grabbed a towel and spit more blood into the sink before I pressed it to my mouth. Fuckity fuck fuck, a white towel, Karkat? You're such a dumbass. Whatever, it's just a towel.

When the bleeding pretty much stopped, I evaluated the damage. There were four holes in my lip, two deeper than the others. Fantastic. Guess who's having the greatest time of his life right now? Karkat Vantas, that's who.

As I was messing with my lip, someone knocked onthe door. Jegus, a guy sustains minor injuries and suddenly he needs a babysitter? Fucking ridiculous.

"What?" I groaned. I prayed and hoped and wished to every deity that I could think of that it was just Gamzee checking up on me.

It wasn't.

I gave Sollux a sideways glance when he opened the door, but I'm not sure he noticed, since he was obviously very preoccupied with staring at his feet.

"Are you... thtill bleeding?" he asked, and suddenly it was more awkward than the walk over here, because at least I'd known what Gamzee was thinking about then. The tension hanging in the air was so heavy, I probably could've been able to grab it and shove it down my own throat. Maybe I already had. It already felt like I couldn't speak, couldn't breathe.

Oh, wait, yes I could. "Uh, no. I mean, I don't think so." Gog fucking dammit, why won't he look at me? I wanted to close the distance between us, grab his pretty little face and make him look at me. Maybe I would. Maybe I'll just-

"Gamzee left. In cathe you were wondering," he announced quietly, derailing my train of thought.

"Well, fuck," I sighed. "Guess that means you're my babysitter now, hm? Though I think babysitters are supposed to actually look at their charges. But what do I know about babysitting?" I leaned with one elbow on the counter. My other arm was limp at my side, my fingers twitching as I imagined grabbing his face again. Just look at me.

His face tilted upward ever-so slightly. "Do you need me to take care of you, KK? Ith that what you want?"

"God, why does it matter what I want? Why are you so damn quiet? And, for the love of God, look at me!" Was there really a point in yelling if he wasn't going to yell back...? Yes, of course. Yelling is the key to everything.

He didn't say anything. "What, are you stupid? I told you to look at me! That's what I fucking want! Or did you change your mind? What I want doesn't matter anymore?"

He lifted his head. Finally. "You're thtill bleeding," he said, quiet as fucking possible. I touched two fingers to my mouth, and realized he was right. Goddamn blood.

"Whatever," I said. "It doesn't matter. I-"

"It'th been at leatht ten minuteth thinthe it thtarted bleeding," he cut me off. "Maybe I should, um..."

"Is my fucking lip bothering you so much? Shit, Sol."

"It'th not fucking eathy, to thee you bleeding, KK," he snapped. "Maybe if you walked in on me thlitting up my writht, you'd get it."

Wait, what?

"I... fuck, Sol, what?" I'm sure my eyes were wide as dinner plates right about then.

"You fucking heard me," he grumbled. "It wathn't the motht pleathant thight."

We turned away from each other. I ran my fingers through my hair and tears welled up in my eyes. Gee, big surprise. Karkat is crying again. Who would've guessed.

"I'm so sorry," I muttered, hoping he heard me so I wouldn't have to repeat myself.

The floor creaked softly as he took a step closer to me. I found myself hoping that he would just hug me adn we could forget any of this ever happened.

I took back half of that wish when he wrapped his arms around my waist. I'd never forget any of this, and I wasn't sure I wanted to.

"Me too," he breathed into my hair. Why am I so fucking short? "For everyhing."