Chapter 2:
Britt became my best friend very quickly, and being best friends, we left barely anytime for any other friends. All we really cared about was each other, and we didn't let anyone into our little circle.
I remember one day, we were about 11. We had a snow day, and I had run through the deep snow to Britt's house as soon as I found out that we had no school. She was up, and waiting by her window, and she waved to me as I ran up her sidewalk. She had recently hit a growth spurt, and now nearly towered over me, for I hadn't grown a bit. She hugged me and pulled me inside, brushing the snow off my shoulders, smiling at me.
We ran into her kitchen and made some hot chocolate, laughing as we watched her parents dance and sing in the kitchen. Britt's house was like that. Her parents were this wonderfully welcoming people. They both looked very much like Britt, with blonde hair, and blue eyes, and they both loved to dance. Her mom had been a dancer before she was a mother, and her father had met her while taking a ballroom dancing class with his girlfriend at the time. He had wooed her with his singing and dancing skills, and the rest, they said, was history. When Britt and I turned 10, Britt's parents told me to call them Karen and Jon. I was shocked at first, but they insisted, and so I did. Secretly, I called them Mom and Dad. Mami and Papi wouldn't mind, I told myself, even though I knew they would mind. They disliked the Pierces, but allowed me to stay friends with Brittany because I wouldn't listen to them anyway.
Britt's little sister Jessie, hopped around, dancing with her parents. I rolled my eyes, and Britt twirled her hair, we were too cool to join in. We did eventually though, and we danced and sang and twirled and leapt until we all ended up into a laughing pile on the floor. Britt wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. "Look San! You're a part of my family!" And that's when I knew I was really and truly home.
I spent all the time I could with the Pierces. My home became unbearable, especially when Papi came home from work. We'd sit at our large table, eating in silence, barely even looking at each other. Ricky would sometimes tease me, but as we got older, he knew not to do it in front of our parents. Silence ruled our house. The only sounds you ever heard were the TV as my Papi watched sports, and dishes clanking together in the kitchen. We never spoke about important things like feelings. We only ever talked about the weather, or school. Papi was strict about school. We knew that if we didn't get a good grade, we'd get a spanking and go straight to bed without dinner. So we learned early on, to get good grades to make Papi happy.
Papi had a temper. One that I realized I had inherited from him. When he got angry, he hit. So we learned not to get him angry. In our house, Papi's word was law. We all knew that we must only speak if spoken to, and that disobeying him meant a spanking with his belt. It only took one of those for me to realize that I never wanted to be spanked with Papi's belt again. So I must do as Papi said.
Mami never did anything when Papi hit us. She'd sit and watch, her eyes wide, and sometimes teary. Then afterwards, she'd come into our rooms and help wash the welts his belt left, telling us that all we needed to do was listen to Papi, and that our behavior had made him angry. She explained that Papi hit to show that he loved us and wanted what was best for us. That never made sense to me, but I learned to accept it anyway.
When I was 13, Ricky left for University, and it was just me and my parents. My Mami decided to go back to school to finish her GED and get a job, since it was only me to raise now. Papi had his job as Chief of Surgery, and took longer hours. All of this meant that I was home alone alot of the time, which was perfectly fine by me.
I remember knowing my parents were unhappy. I compared them to the Pierces, and it was as plain as day. They never smiled, or laughed. They wouldn't be caught dead singing and dancing. They barely spoke, and I never saw them kiss my whole life. I used to think something was wrong with them. Like maybe, they didn't know how to act like a couple. Maybe they needed to be reminded. But when I'd ask Mami why she didn't kiss Papi, she'd just smile sadly and tell me I'd understand when I'm older. Which I did.
I eventually understood that they never loved each other. Not like Jon and Karen. They may have once, before I was born. But in all my lifetime, my parents never really loved each other. Not in a romantic way at least. I always felt, as soon as I was old enough, that they had procreated simply because it was necessary, and for no other reason. We were told from the time we were young that we were all planned out perfectly, two boys and a girl. The perfect family. Why then did it feel like we were so imperfect? Why then did I wish I had been born into Brittany's family?
And so, as my parents grew further and further from me, the Pierces became my home. I often spent the night, while my mom was at night classes, and my dad at his job. I became a fixture, and it was not uncommon for Karen to claim me as her daughter, or for her to kiss me goodnight as she tucked us in. When they went on their family vacations in the summer, I was always invited along, without even really being asked. I just was a part of their family, and for the first time since Danny, I knew what love was like.