Doctors usually give bad news to people. I know it doesn't get easier in time, but it's what I can say. Today I have to break a bad news to someone. I have the tests results and unfortunately I have to tell a very bad news to my friend. She's gonna die. It's gonna be slow, painful and horrible death. I even don't wish that to my enemy, but now someone very close to me is dying of that horrible disease. She is so young, beautiful and full of unfinished business, and she might never have the chance to finish them.
I have been waiting the whole day, because I don't have the heart to tell her. I am educated man. I have seen world, I am experienced. I have done much bad things and some good too. I have killed and I have saved. I have broken bad news before, but never to someone so close to me.
Somehow I feel that she reminds me of me. No family. Her father's death was very tragical and full of questions – I think she believes what she wants to and others believe what they're told. She never talks about her mother, but I assume she was a beautiful woman. No siblings and I don't think that she has close relatives. Work is her life, has always been. It was hard to be in touch with people, when you are undercover in Europe and can't contact anyone in States. I guess that's how she lost most of her friends. Doesn't matter if she wants it or not, she is part of this family.
Yes, this family is complicated. The eldest – me, I am like a grandfather – old and wise. Then there are mother and father – I call it when emerald meets blue. They are like fire and ice, but somehow they would make great parents in life outside the agency. Here they 4 kids plus the one, who is dead now. Of course the first kid to mention is charming, childish and playboy alike, but a decent guy, when he needs to me. He is also the expert of movies. He may say foolish things all the time and earn head-slaps often, but he is a great man. Then there is another boy – he is geeky and into writing. He is basically the opposite to his older brother. He is sweet and nice and usually under the attacks from his so called brother and sisters. One of the girls works with Daddy and brothers, but the other is usually doing things for them, but not with them. The girl with deep black hair is always cheerful, she has her own style, her own view of things and others accept it. She is amazingly smart and good at talking. The other girl is dangerous of course, but she is from a different world. She is nothing like others, but somehow her fit was nice. She and Mommy were close.
That makes quite a few people. Everybody knew that there has always been attraction between them. Only one, who doesn't have a possible love attraction anywhere is me. I am old and grandfather alike person. They love me, but just as a friend. That's why I feel like sometimes I am not part of them. Also I don't risk my life every day like they do, I have never killed someone with the gun they use, I don't chase criminals or hack computers. I discover the secrets human body has to offer and nothing else. I can say the cause of death, the time of death and sometimes even the way murder was committed, but I won't analyze the samples or interrogate for information. I just do my own thing and sometimes play doctor out my sacred place. But when I do, then usually I have bad news or I have made an mistake or I just feel like breathing some warm air, when it doesn't smell like death.
I know they all have left, except one. My fiery redhead is waiting in her office for me to come and break the bad news for her. It breaks my heart to do that, but I'll do it anyway, because it's what I do. I bring bad news to people. I walk in hands with misery.
I bring myself together to do, what I have to. Slowly I gather the test results and pictures in my hand and walk to the elevator. As I push the right floor, I have the urge to run in another direction. I don't wanna do it.
**ding**
I am here. I walk out of the elevator and to the woman. I can see that the building is almost empty. Only a few agents are still working out there, none of them is family. I walk to her office. I knock softly and then enter.
She is sitting there. I can see that she has been expecting me and she has been working not to think about my news. I don't blame her, because it's what that woman of power does. We all have different ways of coping.
She looks up to me.
"Good evening my dear," I say.
"Nice evening indeed," she says. That is so unlike her – usually she calls me by my name or by my title. Sometimes she uses both of them and then she is using her title to overrule me. This time she is just scared, tired and curious, unfortunately I have answers and she will not be pleased.
"How is your night ?" I ask. I try to lighten the mood, before killing it off.
"It's been busy and long night. Beside I told you about my troubles in sleeping and I was doing some paperwork. You know my favorite agents, who always manages to piss off other agencies and I have to clean his messes. Other than that I am hoping you have some good news for me from the love we have shared over the years," she said. I almost want to run out of the office and keep her from knowing the truth. It's the parent side in me – wanting to keep the child from the truth.
"I will give you my fatherly love my dear," I say to her.
"I think I could use some hope instead," she said.
"Love is the road that leads to hope," I say to enlighten the mood, that has changed. She knows what is waiting and unfortunately I am the one telling her that.