Chapter 3
The summer between middle school and high school was a rough one for me. My parents announced that my Mami was going to be a nurse at the hospital with Papi, and that I was going to be expected to take care of myself. I laughed to myself when they told me, it's not like I hadn't been doing that for a year now. They were gone almost every night. The house was more silent then usual, and I spent more and more time with the Pierces. Karen had another baby, this time a boy, and they let Brittany name him. She and I put our heads together and named him Nash. His full name was Nashville, but everyone called him Nash anyway. He was a blonde haired mop of a baby, with huge blue eyes and a dimpled smile. Britt and I carried him around with us everywhere. We earned some money from her parents by babysitting him, or changing his diapers. Then one day, Britt said something to me that changed everything.
We had just changed Nash's diaper, and were watching him drift off to sleep, when Britt turned to me and leaned on my shoulder. I smiled, loving the smell of strawberries and cream coming from her hair. She sighed into me and her face lit up. "San, I can't wait until we have a baby. We'd be great parents don't you think?"
I froze, my brain moving at a million miles a minute. She had just said she wanted to have babies with me. Where was this coming from? Women couldn't have babies with women! I was confused, and shocked, not understanding what she meant. "Britt, two women can't have a baby. You know that right?"
She looked up at me, her brow furrowed. "My aunts just had a baby. A little after Nash was born. His name is Tucker. Aunt Heather and Aunt Lily live together, and my mom says that they're lebanese!"
I shook my head, knowing now what she had meant. "It's lesbian Britt, and we're not lesbian. That's like being gay B. And we like boys...right?" I asked her, almost wondering myself if I did like boys. She shrugged.
"I guess so San, if you say so." And we went back to watching Nash fall asleep.
A few weeks later, I went on vacation with the Pierces. Britt and I were stuck firmly in the back seats, since we were the only ones who no longer needed booster seats. We were heading to their cottage for a month, and I couldn't wait to get away from my parents. They were not home for me to ask, so I left a note on the table telling them where I was, and left with the Pierces. Inside, I doubted that they'd even notice I wasn't there.
We drove for what seemed like days, and finally reached their seaside cottage. Britt and I had a special room, one that was separated from the rest of the cottage. It had originally been a woodshed, but Jon had insulated it, and turned it into a room for the two of us. We loved that little room, and decorated it with everything we could find. It meant we were brave, being away from the adults, and that we had to venture out in the night to go to the bathroom.
We settled into our room, and unpacked our suitcases, filling the drawers with our clothes. Britt hipchecked me, sending my flying, and I laughed at the sly look on her fact. She smiled down at me, and winked, helping me up, so our faces were mere inches apart. I had kissed before, several boys last year. I had even gone a little further, letting them feel my small boobs, and touching their private areas. I had told Britt about it when it happened, and she had been curious, but had never gone and done it for herself. So now, mere inches away, I knew that she wanted me to be her first kiss. My mind flashed back to the talk we had about lesbians, and my stomach clenched. Was Brittany a lesbian?
My head shut off when her lips brushed mine. Gentle, soft and tasting like lipchap. She smiled, her lips still on mine. I couldn't help but kiss her back, adding a bit of my experience into the mix. I deepened the kiss, loving the flavor of her, and the softness of her lips. The boys I had kissed always smelled like BO or mold. Britt smelled like kiwi and strawberry. My hands made their way up to her hair, and tangled in the soft, thin substance, drinking her in.
Our first kiss ended, and I broke away, feeling dizzy and heady and full of joy. This was what kissing was supposed to be. No fumbling or awkwardness. Just this butterflies in your stomach, dizzy, walking on a cloud feeling. And it was Britt who made me feel that.
We experimented a bit more that summer. We'd kiss a lot, when her parents weren't around. We went from chaste closed mouth kisses to deeper ones, wet and full of tongue. I let her touch me where the boys had, and her hands were so much more gentle. She didn't fumble, or falter. She touched me, and I melted. We were only 14, but oh how she made me feel!
Then one night, she woke me up with a gentle kiss. "San, lets go swimming!" I shook my head, my brain foggy from sleep. So she kissed me again, deeper this time. "Wake up San. I want to go swimming." I groaned and rolled over, sitting up and rubbing my eyes, glancing at the clock. It was only 3:23 in the morning. I got up to grab my swimming stuff, but she shook her head. "No San, let's go without our swimming stuff."
I knew that that meant, and suddenly my mouth went dry and my knees felt weak. She wanted to go skinny dipping! I wasn't about to say no and seem like a coward, so I gathered my courage and followed her down to the dock. She stood, lit by the moonlight, and slowly removed her clothing, bit by bit. I bit my lip, watching her body, and the way it moved. She had beautiful perky little breasts, and a tuft of hair down below. She looked at my shyly, waiting for me to join her. I gulped, again wanting to be brave, and removed my clothes. I was ashamed of my boob size, but pretended not to be, as her eyes grazed over my body. Then she took my hand, and we jumped in the water together. We splashed and laughed and swam around, nearly forgetting our nudity as we romped in the water. Then, she swam up close to me, and I felt my body tingle as her small breasts touched mine. We kissed then, treading water, the moonlight glinting around us. It was perfect. I think I realized then just what my best friend meant to me. I loved her. Like in a lebanese way.