Sorry for the delay! I had an exam and an essay due this week, and I didn't let myself write or be tempted to write. But here it is, Chapter 6. Please review if you read! It'll help me know that people want it to continue!

I do not own Glee or these characters

Chapter 6

So a pattern emerged, one that I desperately wanted to stop, but was unable to do so. I would go and sleep with Marcus, and sometimes with Puck, and then I would go to Brittany's afterwards and cry into the pillow, wishing I could simply be with her. She'd sometimes kiss away my tears like she did that first night. Sometimes she'd bed me to stop, but I didn't listen. I couldn't listen.

Then, came the night that changed everything for me. I went on a date with Marcus, did our ritual dinner date, and then sex. I hated sex, especially with Marcus. Puck was a bit better at making me feel appreciated, but Marcus simply wanted pleasure for him, not really caring if I felt pleasure at all. We finished up, and Marcus drove me to Britt's without asking. I think he thought it was my place, not Brittany's. I climbed the tree and went in her window, ready to lay beside Britt and cry away the hurt. However, when I got inside, Brittany wasn't there.

Her bed was made, like she did every morning. Which could only mean one thing; she hadn't come home. I tried not to freak out, but I could feel my heart beating faster, almost out of my chest. I was terrified that something had happened to her. I sent her a text, and tried to call her, but her answering machine told me she wasn't available. I curled up into a ball, terrified and sick to my stomach, and cried myself to sleep.

I woke up to the bed dipping and a soft kiss placed on my temple. I opened my eyes to see Britt's beautiful blue eyes full of concern, looking into mine. I sat up quickly, flinging my arms around my best friend, so happy she was safe. She smiled into my hair, and kissed my forehead again. "When did you get in San? Is everything okay? I told you I was out on a date with Mike tonight remember?"

I didn't remember. Not really. Now it made sense I guess. She had been on a date with Mike, like I had been on a date with Marcus. A flare of jealousy went through my, stabbing into my heart for the brief moment I allowed it too. I pushed it away and pulled away from Britt. "Why were you gone all night Britt?" I asked, dreaded the answer I knew was coming.

She looked down, her eyes suddenly full of tears. I reached out a hand to touch her arm and she tearily smiled at me, meeting my eyes once more. "I did it San. With Mike. It wasn't as bad as you made it sound. It was weird though San, it wasn't great like everyone says it is."

Then I knew her tears weren't for her. She had been fine with Mike her first time. Unlike me, she had been okay with sex. I still couldn't deal with it without crying into her shoulder. How pathetic was I? Her tears were because she knew that everything between us had to change. Because she knew the difference now. She knew what it was like to be with a guy, and she knew it hurt me that she'd had sex with Mike.

I just shrugged, blinking back tears, daring not to let them show and expose the pain in my heart. "Good for you Britt. It was about time. Now I wants to get my sleep on." I turned over, facing away from Brittany, and waited for the steady sounds of her breathing before allowing myself to give in to the tears that I had forced back.