Draco Malfoy and the Potions Pupil

AN: Hi again. Thanks for reading. Sorry it has been taking me longer than usual to update this one but I have been working on the sequel as well so that's what has been taking up my time. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter and please let me know what you think by reviewing.

Chapter 11: Right or Wrong

Draco had arrived back at Hogwarts after Christmas break the same day as the students.

While the rest of the school was occupied with the start of term feast he sat alone in his office. He was pondering his rash decision to give Lily the 'Patronus Charm'. Her charm; Astoria's not Lily's. After all this time how could he do such a thing? Why had he done it? He knew why; because Lily Potter reminded him of his wife. It was that simple and yet that complicated. Astoria had been the love of his life; the only person he'd ever truly loved. She had been the light in his dark life. Now that she was extinguished he saw a dim glow in the distance and knew that it was Lily Potter. Maybe that was the answer. Maybe if he just waited until a more appropriate time in Lily's life he could be with her. Now was not the time, he reminded himself, she's only fifteen.

As he came to this conclusion he picked up a quill and pulled a piece of parchment towards him. In the seconds that it took him to do this he lost the resolution to put his thoughts in writing and returned to dwelling on his predicament.

"Hi," said the unmistakable voice of Lily Potter.

Draco jumped, lost in thought, he hadn't even noticed her step into the room.

"Sorry," she apologised.

"How long have you been there?" he asked looking at her. He couldn't help himself, he had to see her eyes.

"Only about a minute," she answered approaching him.

He noticed that she was wearing the charm around her neck and found himself smiling. Without even deciding to do so, he got up and moved around to the other side of his desk.

"Nice pendant," he commented as he took it up in his hand and took a painful look at it.

"I wanted to thank you for it," she whispered as she leaned towards him.

He let go of the necklace and looked up from it to meet her eyes again. They were so blue; exactly the same shade as Astoria's and once again he found himself touching her face. Drawn to her, he leant closer as well. His heart was beating rapidly as their lips met, brushing gently. He felt Lily's hand touch the back of his neck and realised suddenly that he'd gone too far. He pulled away from her.

"What?" said Lily.

"I've told you," he said hanging his head.

Her small hand gently took his and he felt his heart hammer even faster. Her hand, unlike her eyes, were so different and new to him. He wondered why her touch had caused him to feel this way. Only seconds before, he'd convinced himself that he only thought he had feelings for her because of her eyes and who they reminded him of. He wasn't so sure anymore. But he wasn't sure of much at the moment. He'd only been back at Hogwarts for a couple of hours and in that time he'd had that many conflicting thoughts about Lily he didn't know where he was up to.

She didn't let go so he looked up at her.

"Why did you give this to me?" she asked pointing to her necklace.

He didn't know so he looked away and took a deep breath.

"Draco," she said softly.

She'd never spoken his name before, it'd always been 'Professor Malfoy'. He liked hearing her say it.

"I don't know," he finally answered. "I don't know what it is about you but..."

"But what?" she asked quickly when he trailed off.

What could he say? It was partly a lie and partly the truth that he didn't know what it was about her. He knew full well what one of the reasons was but how could he say to a fifteen year old that she reminded him of his dead wife? He also knew that this wasn't the only reason. The very first time that they'd made eye contact across the classroom she'd caused his heart rate to rise and although he could tell they were blue he had not seen Astoria in her eyes that day. It had been Lily Potter he was looking at then and only Lily.

"But, I just want to be with you," he said as he looked at her again. This was the only explanation he could give her and himself and he immediately wished he hadn't said it out loud. "I know it's wrong," he added trying to dissuade her. "It's so wrong."

"It's not wrong," said Lily sincerely. "It's not because I feel it too. I've spent the last four months trying to tell myself that it's nothing, just a school girl crush but it's not, it's so much more. It could be so much more if you'd just stop fighting it. Let this be what it should be."

"Sometimes it's not enough," said Draco. "Sometimes you can't always have what you want or what you want to be right." Was that what this was? Just something that he wanted to be right and wasn't?

"Why not? There's nothing wrong with this," said Lily desperately.

He pulled his hand away from her. This was getting way out of hand. What wasn't right was if he let her believe that his motives were as simple as hers, that the only thing stopping him was the fact that he was the teacher and she the student.

"I need to do the right thing for once," he finally said.

"Oh so now you want to do the right thing," she said bitterly, turning away from him.

Draco Malfoy watched the back of Lily Potter and considered what she'd said. She'd spent months trying to tell herself this was nothing, so had he. She'd figured it was more than just a crush, he'd figured it was more than just the resemblance with Astoria's eyes. She'd stopped fighting her feelings and it was time he did too.

She was heading for the door and was almost there. He hurried after her and without another thought grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. He pulled her into him and they shared a long kiss. When they finally broke apart she was shocked and, with a smile, he was looking at Lily Potter and only Lily Potter.