Draco Malfoy and the Potions Pupil

AN: Okay I finally finished this chapter. Enjoy.

Chapter 13: A Secret Shared

Draco stirred from his sleep and sat half way up in his bed, propping himself up with his elbows. He didn't know what time it was but he knew he couldn't have been asleep for very long because he still felt dead tired. He blinked heavily in an attempt to open his eyes properly but they fell shut again. He fell back onto his bed to lie flat wondering what had caused him to wake. It could've been anything, he never slept well.

Suddenly he heard something. It was the sound of hurried footsteps and then a muffled voice on the other side of the door. Someone was trying to get in but none of his sneak-o-scopes had gone off. Frowning and still struggling to wake himself properly Draco grabbed his wand and approached the door. When he reached it there was silence on the other side so he grabbed the handle and swung it open. Next thing Draco felt something collide with his chest and he could see a dark silhouette of a petite witch holding a lit wand in the doorway. Blue eyes sparkled in the wand light.

"Potter?" he said in a half-relieved, half-surprised tone.

There was a short pause in which Lily blushed and removed her hand from Draco's chest. He didn't want her to; he liked the feel of her touch.

"Sorry…I…" she stammered, still staring at his chest rather than his face.

For a moment he wondered what she was looking at and then he remembered the scars that he'd lived with for so long that he barely noticed them anymore. Lily's blush was still reddening her cheeks and he smiled; she looked cute when she was embarrassed. Draco crossed his arms across his chest, obscuring her view.

"You can thank you father for those," he said. As the words escaped his lips he himself wondered why he'd made the comment. Was he trying to cast a doubt about her father in Lily's mind or was he simply offering to tell her something about himself? He supposed it was more likely the former but hoped that Lily would think it was the latter.

"My father?" Lily asked after finally lifting her gaze to meet Draco's.

"Yes," he replied with a humourless laugh.

"He did this to you," said Lily in a very sympathetic tone.

Draco turned away to hide a smirk that had crept onto his face. As he did so he waved his wand to light a few candles and then took a seat. He was still quite tired.

Lily had followed him further into the room and was looking around.

"What are you doing here?" Draco asked as he rubbed his eyes to fight the persistent fatigue.

"Oh," said Lily before pausing. "It's stupid."

Draco was suddenly struck by an urge to comfort her.

"Nothing you do is stupid, tell me what brought you here, in the middle of the night," he said quietly.

"I had a dream," she said as her eyes sparkled with the glaze of tears. "I thought you were gone."

"Gone?" asked Draco, taken aback by her words. "Why on earth would I be gone?" He spoke before he'd really thought; not something that he did often.

"I said it was stupid," said Lily emotionally.

Yes, it did seem stupid to him too but he had to remind himself that she was only fifteen and he had not been the most reliable of people. Maybe her fear of him leaving wasn't so stupid after all.

Draco contemplated this and then stood up and approached Lily, putting his hand on her shoulder and looking her in the eyes.

"You're not being stupid Lily, it's ok."

He pulled her into a one-armed hug and felt her cling tight to him. It felt quite strange to be held this way by someone other than Astoria. It seemed even stranger to be enjoying it so much and to feel his heart beat quicken.

"I'm not going anywhere," he whispered both to Lily and to himself.

She let go of him and looked up into his eyes. Draco looked down into Lily's bright blue eyes and found himself feeling unworthy of the adoration in them. This, however, did not stop him from wanting it. He put his hand on her cheek and leant down, kissing her lips lightly. He felt her hand on his chest again; on his scars.

"How did he do it?" she asked.

"A spell," he replied plainly.

He anticipated the 'what spell?' and 'why?' questions but they did not come; for this he was grateful yet strangely disappointed also. He looked up and caught sight of the clock.

"Maybe you should go back to your dormitory now," he suggested, not wanting to get caught with a student in his bedroom.

"Oh," said Lily with obvious disappointment.

"If you want to..." Draco started and even as he said it asked himself; Are you mad?

"Can I stay here?" asked Lily suddenly.

Draco looked up quickly, stunned by how forward she was being; she'd seemed so shy.

However her face reddened immediately and she said; "That's not what I meant...I...just...I mean."

Draco was unable to hide the relief that swept through him. Yes, he wanted Lily Potter but he was also a coward who did not want to get caught.

"I'll go," said Lily as she turned away from him towards the door.

"You can stay," said Draco almost against his will. Potter's daughter, he reminded himself.

Lily was smiling at him now and he couldn't retract his offer. It had been a long time since anyone had looked at him like that.

"I mean," he continued. "For a while longer. But I think you should go before morning."

She nodded and stepped further into the room, suddenly feeling quite nervous Draco shut the door. He instantly felt better knowing that in the unlikely event that someone did show up he could hide her before opening the door.

Then, feeling much more relaxed, he walked over and flopped back onto the bed, his legs still dangling over the side. After a short pause he propped himself up on his elbows and looked at Lily. He couldn't help but think that she looked beautiful; even in her cloak and flannel pyjamas.

She walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed next to him. He sat up when she got there but did not look her in the eye.

"I suppose you want me to tell you about this," he said indicating the scars.

"Only if you want to," she replied quietly and he knew that she meant it.

Truth be told, he didn't want to tell her. He didn't want to tell her anything that would make him look bad yet at the same time he wanted her to know his side of the story.

"I want to tell you," he said making his decision.

"Ok," said Lily and he sensed anticipation in her voice.

"As you already know I was a Death Eater," he said trying to make it sound like it didn't bother him. After all these years the thought of it still sparked unpleasant memories and it bothered him; it bothered him a lot. "I was assigned a task, a task that I didn't carry out, something that I couldn't do." He remembered the sight of Albus Dumbledore's already lifeless body being knocked off the top of the Astronomy Tower, the fear that had overwhelmed him, and the shock that Snape had actually done the thing that he could not. The memory was almost too much to bear so he continued his story.

"Anyway, I was contemplating the task and well I had realised that I couldn't do it so I..." he stopped. Maybe this hadn't been such a great idea.

"You don't have to keep going," said Lily softly filling the silence with her voice and touching his hand.

Her touch reminded him that he wanted her to hear this from him and not anybody else.

"I want you to know," he said before resuming his story. "I knew what the consequences would be if I didn't go through with it, I knew that he'd kill me, kill my family and I knew he would show no mercy. Your father came across me, not accidently I don't think, in a moment of weakness which I didn't want anyone to witness, especially not him. I loathed him so much, probably almost as much as he did me. I panicked and instinctively reacted by firing a hex at him. He was defending himself and he hit me with the spell that did this."

Speaking about it had stirred up some old emotions that he didn't think he had anymore. The most worrying one was the fear that he'd felt when he'd realised that he couldn't kill Dumbledore and that his family would pay for such weakness. After all this time the Dark Lord still managed to inject fear into Draco even though he knew that he was long gone and never coming back.

"I suppose I should have said I defeated a dragon or something," he said half-heartedly when Lily remained silent.

"It wasn't your fault," she finally said. "You had no choice in what you did."

She glanced at his Dark Mark as she spoke but he didn't need that to know that she was no longer talking about how he'd obtained his scars. How did she know that he'd been thinking about and regretting his Death Eater days?

"I had a choice, Lily," he said. "I just wasn't strong enough to make the right one."

"But you're able to admit that you made that mistake," she implored. "And that makes you even stronger."

She amazed him; her ability to see past what everyone else saw and turned away from, her kindness and the reassurance she provided. When she looked at him like that he felt like it was all okay and that maybe it didn't matter that he'd been a Death Eater.

"You're too kind to me," he stated.

She smiled at him and yawned unexpectedly.

"You're tired," he pointed out. "Here take the bed; I'll sleep on the chair."

She crawled to the other side of the bed and lay down. He went to get up but felt her grab his arm and stop him, pulling him back down onto the bed.

"Lily I don't think we should..." he started hesitantly before thinking; you're making this very difficult for me.

"Just lay here with me," she said sleepily.

He looked from her to the chair and back to her again. He knew which one he'd rather.

"Alright," he said as he lay down beside her and put his arm around her. It felt strangely right and he smiled as he drifted off to sleep, comforted by the presence of Lily Potter.

AN: Please let me know your thoughts in a review and have a Happy Easter. :)