"Bella are you okay?" Charlie asked from the closed door. "Go away Charlie!" I yelled at him. I don't have to do it; I don't have to do it! All I want right now is to go in the bathroom and puke. All I could think about was how much I ate last night, the extra dollop of mash potatoes; all that whole piece steak! I ate so much. I ate too much. "I'm going to call Angela." Charlie said before I heard his footsteps as he rushed down the hallway.

Hopefully Angela can help. But I doubt she can. No one can help me.

No! Don't think like that Bella! I order myself. Just wait 'til Angela gets here! But even as I told myself these things, I knew it was hopeless.

Not ten minutes later Angela was knocking at my door. "Come in." I said sounding hoarse even to my own ears. She opened the door, her face full of worry and sat down gingerly next to me on my bed.

"What's wrong Bella? You got Charlie worried half to death." She said with a sad look in her eyes. "Ang, I can't do this. I'm not strong enough." I explained desperately. "I will never be strong enough. I have to go to the bathroom. I have to go now!" I said standing up. But Angela was quick, she was up in front of me the second I moved; blocking my bedroom door; she put a hand on my arm.

"Oh no you don't. You don't have to go pee and therefore you do not have to go in that bathroom." Angela said pulling me back down on the bed.

"But Angela I have to. I'm not good enough." I said, dropping my gaze to my lap. "My mom called me. She said that after the honeymoon they were going to visit his parents. They said they were going to be gone another two weeks. Angela my mom doesn't want me any more." My stomach giving another lurch as I said the words. "What if it's because I'm too fat?"

My head was spinning. Somewhere deep in me, I knew I was acting crazy. I knew my mom didn't care what I looked like and that she would always want me around. But there was the other part, the one that said I'm not good enough the way I am. And that part was much bigger than the other.

"Bella sit down. Your fine. You know your mom wants you back." She said in her delicate voice. I closed my eyes and nodded I knew I needed to calm down. My thoughts were steadily spiraling downward. I took in a deep breath and let it out and tried to let my stomach calm some. And it worked, for a little bit.

Ang stayed at the house a few hours after my melt down. I think she was afraid to leave me alone; I honestly couldn't blame her. Because even though she didn't want to leave, she couldn't stay forever; and after her mom called her cell, asking her to come home to watch the twins, she had to leave. I watched from my window as Angela made her way to her little neon. I'm sorry Ang. I thought as I ran to the bathroom.

**

"Dad, tell me again why I'm going to the hospital with you?" I asked my dad as we walked in the two front doors of Forks Hospital. "Because, Bella, if your going to be here for a month then I can't have you staying at the house all day. You're volunteering here at the hospital." He said, steadily not looking in my direction. I sighed. Right. In other words, 'Bella I can't leave you alone in fear you're gonna die.' Great.

We walked down a series of hallways, all were painted white with a pale blue railing about the same height as my hip. Finally we turned down one hall where we met Dr. Cullen. "Oh Charlie good to see you. Is this my new employee?" He smiled. "Not quite. She's not getting paid." Charlie and the doctor laugh shortly.

"Yes well I'm all ways happy to meet new people. Hello Bella, I'm Carlisle Cullen." I shook his hand still marveling at the mans good looks and said hello back. "Well, I'll leave you two to sort things out." Charlie said before giving my arm a comforting pat and walking back the way we came. "Bella, I have to do my rounds, but how about I get Edward to help you out?" Carlisle said checking his wrist watch.

I nodded. Carlisle smiled kindly and we made our way down the hallway and around the corner; where I saw the young man who was at my house a few days ago. He was kneeling down to be at eye level with a young girl who looked to be about six.

She girl clearly had some form of cancer, her hair was very thin and skin very pale, almost as white as the paint on the walls, yet she was laughing.

I saw the look in Edward's green eyes as he tickled the small girl. His eyes looked happy, but more of a sad happy. Like he was happy in this very moment, but sad about would come later.

I knew just what that felt like.

"Oh Eddie! Eddie please come have lunch with me today!" The little girl asked. "I would love to Jenny, but I have other kids to see. I'll have dinner with you tonight ok? Just you and me." He said with a wink. Jenny giggled a wide smile lighting her face and nodded.

Carlisle turned to me. "Edward over sees the all the cancer patients. Just because we are a small town, doesn't mean there's small pain." He said, looking rather sad as he did.

We walked up to Edward as he stood. He waved to the girl and a older woman, who looked to be her mother, as they walked down the hallway.

"Edward. This is Bella, who I told you about." Carlisle said introducing me. "Oh yea. Hey, I'm Edward." He offered his hand and I shook it. "I have to do my rounds now. How about you show Bella some of the patients." Carlisle said. Edward nodded and Carlisle turned to me, "I'm sorry I have to leave you on your first day, but Edward will take good care of you. If you have any questions he can answer them." He said and I nodded. Carlisle smiled before he walk off in the opposite direction.

"Well, I have to go see Suzie now. She's a four year old girl with Acute lymphoblastic leukemia, also know as ALL. We spotted it almost as soon as she got it, so she should be fine." He finished talking as soon as we entered a room.

I followed behind him into a small room with pale blue walls, a bed on one wall with a table next to it and a comfortable looking chair next to the bed, where a woman probably in her early 30s was sitting, reading a book. A small girl was sitting on a bed coloring in a coloring book. "Hi Suzie."

As soon as the little girl heard his voice her head shot up and she beamed a brilliant smile. "Eddie!" She screeched. He walked over to her and she gave him a big hug.

"And how are we doing to day?" He asked. "Ugh I'm bored." The little girl groaned. "Bored? With me here? I'm hurt, really." That made Suzie laugh.

"Suzie is doing just fine. Your father says she might get to go home next month." The woman sitting in the chair said with a smile. I'm guessing it's her mother.

"That's great news. I'm glad to hear it."

**

Over the next few hours we did this. We went to child to child. I was surprised at how many children had something wrong with them. Edward informed me that some of them had actually moved here to have Dr. Carlisle as their doctor.

It was right after meeting a little boy named Donivan, while Edward was filing some paperwork about the boys progress that he asked me:

"So what brings you to Forks." He asked after putting the yellow folder with Donivan's name on it back into a filing cabinet. "You live in Phoenix right?" He leaned against the side of the counter where a nurse who looked to be about 50 was sitting, typing something onto the computer in front of her. Over the past two hours I had learned her name to be Martha.

"Yeah, I live there with my mom." I replied. "But she got married two days ago, and she didn't want to leave me all by myself while she and Phil went to Paris for their honeymoon." I explained, glad that I didn't have to come up with believable excuse. Besides, it was true.

Edward nodded, though his eyes seemed to pierce into mine; as though he knew he there in was something I was hiding. But if he knew anything, he didn't indicate anything. "And how are you liking Forks? Have you ever been here before?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I used to come down here every summer. But for the past two years, other things have come up and I just haven't gotten the chance." I said, I had actually missed coming up here. Even if Forks was boring and dad was not the most out going person, I still had missed him.

But now I got the chance to ask Edward the first question that popped into my head with I first saw him. "What about you? How long have you been here? I don't remember ever seeing you."

Edward smiled.

"Yeah, we moved almost two years ago." I nodded. That would explain it. Because I think I would have remembered meeting Edward. "So do you have any siblings?"

"Yeah, there is Alice, she also works here, but she is in a different wing. You'll like her. She is really hyper, but very sweet. Then there is Emmet; just think of a giant stuffed teddy bear and you pretty much got Emmet. He works with construction and things like that. Jasper is awesome; he is a history buff. Ask him anything and he can give you all the details and dates. And then there is Rose." As soon as the name left his mouth, his smile he had as he talked about his family faltered.

Suddenly the air around us seemed to get a little stiffer and I wondered what had happened. One minute we were having a very nice conversation, Edward smiling comfortably, I was even smiling! The next Edward's face was looking like it was a stone wall.

I wondered if it had something to do with Rose. Maybe she had something to do with what raped girl. What if she was the girl?!

Feeling shocked and rather sick I let the conversation drop; I couldn't bring myself to ask Edward if I was guessing right. I didn't want to think that this kind and caring person that I had jut met; but already knew to be a better person than I would have to go through something like that with a family member.

The rest of the day went by smoothly. After we got past the awkward silence about Rose; we talked easily about other things. I told him that I was an only child and about how crazy/fun my mom was. I talked about Phil and how good he was for her. I told him about Angela, and wasn't all that surprised when he told me he knew who she was. Forks was a small town after all.

When Charlie came by to pick me up at five I was surprised to see him. I hadn't realized how much time had passed since I had been here. I had actually had fun. This month might not be so bad after all. Well, not if I get to see Edward every day.

A/N Hey Thanks for reading! So I just want to mention that I have a Beta. It is Vinetta-Venture. She basically added details and such. So thanks Vinny! Please review! Thanks so much for reading!

-Esmefan1-Elissa.