Growth
Chapter Two – Roxas – Year 1: Part 2
I really missed RookieWeek this year. Silly Uni. Also, you can really tell I'm Canadian, can't you? The amount of times that I say supper, jeez.
xXx
September
xXx
"So, how ya doin', Roxas? Look at all of the scared little kiddies. Glad it's not us this year." Hayner secured his hands behind his head, watching the new students filter by, some of them already showing the marks of their initiation.
"Yeah, really." Roxas couldn't smile, everything reminding him of Axel. But he had to put it out of his thoughts. It was a new year. He was ready. A fresh start awaited him in these halls that he now had memorised.
"Are we going to be marking anyone up or what?" Pence didn't sound too enthusiastic, almost fearful that the answer that met his question would be a yes.
"Nah, I'm not. It was kinda too nerve-wrackin' last year. I don't see why people scare the shit outta these newbies. It's kinda rude." Hayner chastised his fellow students with a scowl.
"Since when have you ever worried about being rude?" Roxas joked back, the ghost of a smirk on his lips. The elder blonde gaped at him, exaggerated hurt on his face.
"Pence, you're not just gonna sit there and let him talk to me like that, are ya?"
"Uh ... Roxas ... be nice?"
Roxas rolled those blue eyes, shaking his head. "Yes Pence. I'm sorry I was so mean to your mean-ass boyfriend. Now come on, why are we just standing here? Let's go get to class."
The couple exchanged a glance before Hayner shook his head, looking back over Roxas' head, down one of the long hallways. "Nah, we gotta stay here for a few more minutes, then we'll head out, okay?"
"What? Why?"
"You'll see."
Roxas frowned, crossing his arms after hiking up his back-pack. But he waited without a complaint, curious as to why exactly they were standing around, watching all those excited faces flitting by. Hayner sent a hurried text, nodding at the reply he got.
"Oh my God, I'm sorry we're so late! This place is kinda confusing."
Roxas spun around at the voice he easily recognized as Sora's. The brunette was right behind him, Riku following close on his heels. "No problem, no problem. But, yeah, surprise, Roxas."
"What are you guys doing here?" Roxas was bug-eyed, unable to believe that his two friends were standing right in front of him.
"We go here now." Riku smirked at the disbelief on the younger's face.
"Yup, we still had to go to school, and this one is the closest one to Grammy's. Plus we knew you guys went here, so we thought 'why not'." Sora was beaming, forcing a smile onto Roxas' face. "But we should be getting to class, shouldn't we? It starts in ten?"
There were grumbled complaints about having to leave the duo that had finally made it, but the five teens slowly moved off on their own, searching for their first classes.
xXxXx
"This is sweet! We managed to get a class together!"
Roxas looked up in surprise at the brunette that was sitting down next to him, the first friend he had seen since leaving them three classes ago. "H-hey man! I didn't know that you would be in this."
"Technically it's you that shouldn't be in it, right? It's an eleven-one class, so it's an advanced grade eleven course, you're in ten." Sora continued to beam, pulling books out of his book bag even though he knew that no actual work was done on the first day of class. "But you're officially my lab partner? We're in Bio, so we'll have labs, right? Or was that only in my old school?"
"Uh, I think there'll be labs, I dunno. I never really thought about it." And he hadn't. He had only gone into the classes that his teachers had thought would be best for him and he didn't really care. His future was so far away, what did it matter?
"Well, I'm really excited!"
"I can tell."
Their conversation was cut off when the teacher motioned that he wanted their attention. Sure enough they would be doing labs, lots of partner-assignments in their future. As Roxas looked around the classroom, he realized just how glad he was that he had Sora. The only other classmate that he had ever really spoken to was sitting three rows away, slate hair hiding his face as he doodled on his notebook.
xXxXx
Roxas crashed down on the sofa in the living room, way too glad that it was a Friday. His mom was supposed to be home early today as it was her turn to cook the meal. The blonde didn't even mind that Tidus was going to be coming over. They had been getting closer lately and Roxas wasn't willing to question his motive.
Stretching wide with a yawn, Roxas nestled into the comfortable couch, flicking on the television. Hayner and Pence had invited him over but he was determined not to be a third wheel this time. He would just lay there like he had when he would get home from school last year.
But last year he would have Axel's arms to snuggle into.
Shoving the thought from his mind, Roxas stood, heading to the kitchen to find something to munch on. Yuna was coming through the door just as he settled back down on the couch with a bowl of chips.
"Hey mom," Roxas welcomed without taking his eyes from the television.
"Oh good, you came home today! So you'll be telling Tidus and I all about your first week back over supper?"
"Yeah, I guess, if you want me to."
"We're having fish."
"Okay."
And that was it. The brunette had her shoes off and was already upstairs, changing into something more comfortable. Hardly noticing the clamour in the kitchen when she came back down, Roxas was nearly zombified by the time Tidus came in through the door, not knocking. He just walked right in like it was the most natural thing in the world. This time, it didn't tick Roxas off that his mom was letting someone get close to them. Today he was okay with it.
"How's my little man?" Tidus asked as he strolled over to the couch, ruffling Roxas' spikes – just like a real dad. The teen swatted the pest away, laughing slightly as he ducked.
"Good, I guess. I don't wanna go to school anymore though. I have Sora in Bio and Hayner and Pence in Math, but that's pretty much it."
"Well that just means that you have to go out and make some more friends."
Roxas contemplated this for a minute before shaking his head. "Nah, I don't want any more friends, I'm good."
Tidus sat down with an exhausted sigh in the chair that had once been dubbed Axel's but Roxas didn't care. He was over it. "You'll make some without even meaning to, trust me."
"Oh I know. It happened last year." His words were met with a timid, awkward silence, Tidus not knowing how to respond without hurting the younger blonde and Roxas not knowing why he had bothered to bring it up.
Yuna spoke up from the kitchen, changing the subject. "So, supper will be in ten. Roxas, come set the table, please."
Roxas did as he was told, glad his mother had saved him.
xXxXx
"Roxas, you'll be partnered with Zexion."
Roxas' eyes shot up to his teacher, not hearing the next partnering as his breath stuck in his throat. She didn't seem to notice his distress, continuing on with her list. A chanced glance at the teen he was soon to be working with uncovered the fact that Zexion seemed just about as disturbed by the circumstances. Somehow this made Roxas even more worried. He hadn't been alone with the slate-haired teen for a very long time, nearly a year now. This was not what he had wanted.
Rushing up to the woman the moment she turned to sit at her desk, Roxas blurted out the words in a hiss of urgency. "Um, excuse me, but I think there has to be a mistake. I can't work with Zexion."
It was the first time the teen's name had come from his mouth since he had told Axel that debilitating lie.
Taking a longer than standard blink, the woman turned to look at him. "And why not?"
Roxas was stumped. What was he supposed to say? That Zexion was a creepy pervert? That they had been involved in something that could hardly be considered a relationship? There was no way that he could say that to the near-stranger that this woman was. "... I have my reasons."
"Until you tell me those reasons, the two of you will be working together for this project. And they must be viable reasons, not just a personal problem you may have with him." There was no emotion in this stern teacher's voice but a sneer was on her too-red lips, a maniacal twinkle in her dead eyes. Roxas didn't like her. "Alright, class. Partner up. And I don't want any more complaints about who you're with, I won't hear it."
The classroom broke out into hesitant movers, some students gathering their things to move beside their waiting partner, the rest being the waiters. Roxas felt like a fool, standing up in front of them all, red in the face. Zexion was curled over his desk, still scribbling something on his page. He made no indication that he would be joining Roxas, giving him the clear sign that it was all up to him to move.
Going back to his desk, Roxas took as long as he could to get his things together, his heart beating in his ears. Zexion only glanced at him when he pulled a chair next to the elder's desk.
"So ... I guess we're partners then?" Roxas started off awkwardly, trying to coax Zexion into starting the project like the other students around them.
"I guess so." Those eyes still didn't look up at him.
"Which means that we have to work together."
"I know."
"But neither of us want to, do we?"
"There isn't anything we can do about it. We'll just have to put the past behind us so that we don't fail."
Roxas was glad that Zexion was feeling as much discomfort as he was but knew that they would have to get over it. Nodding, Roxas pulled the correct books out, grabbing a pencil even though the slate-haired teen already held his pen, still scribbling. "What are you doing, anyways?"
"What?"
"On your page. Every time I see you, you don't even look like you're paying attention."
Finally those eyes looked at him, deep, sunken, tired, dead, alive, shimmering with hidden hardships. Those eyes frightened him. The glare that he received chilled his bones. "It is none of your business."
And it wasn't, so Roxas didn't press the subject. "Alright. Well, then ... where do we start?"
xXxXx
October
xXxXx
"Why weren't you here yesterday? We had the whole class to work on our project and I couldn't do any of it because you had all the stuff!" Roxas fumed at the slate-haired teen that now sat beside him. Zexion was even more curled in on himself than usual, hiding his face with his hair.
"I'm sorry." That was it. No explanation, just a hollow apology. Roxas lashed out, grabbing Zexion's wrist in an attempt to get his attention. There was a quick hiss of pain and the elder teen pulled his arm away, shooting a glare at the blonde. "Don't." Another short reply.
"What the hell is the matter with you?"
Zexion winced at the words but Roxas wasn't sorry. "I'm sorry," was hushed again and the slate-haired teen was saved by the teacher coming in to start the lesson.
Roxas waited until after class ended to take up their argument, still not forgiving the teen he had been working with for two weeks already. It was the beginning of lunch, so Roxas thought that it was the perfect opportunity to confront the teen. Grabbing his shoulder so that he couldn't stand, Roxas forced Zexion to look at him, even though the teen winced once more.
"Look, I don't care about you, I hate you. I know that it's none of my business. But I need to know what the hell is up because my friggin' ass is on the line. If you can't be trusted with the material, then you shouldn't have it."
Zexion brushed back a strand of hair, still not meeting the blonde's gaze. But Roxas followed those fingers, noticing the flash of purplish skin running down the elder's cheek, down to his neck. That made him stop. He didn't know if he was meant to see the bruise or not, but he felt a pang of sympathy for Zexion – sympathy that overrode hatred for the moment.
"What happened?"
Snapping his eyes onto the blonde, Zexion sat, shocked, now running his hand up to protect his neck, to take back the evidence. He didn't seem to realize what he had done. "What do you mean?"
"You have a giant bruise on your neck!" Roxas pulled back, almost as if the pain could be contagious.
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Okay, whatever, I'm not gonna fight with you. Just make sure that you're here when we need to do stuff."
Zexion didn't respond, trying to move away from the blonde, to move away from the fact that someone was in on his secret. Roxas stayed true to his word, not picking a fight with the teen he had once briefly called his boyfriend. Standing up in a huff, Roxas stomped off, satisfied that the teen wouldn't skip out on their project again.
He still hadn't told Hayner and the others about this renewed affiliation.
xXxXx
"What'cha thinkin' about?" Sora. Roxas forced his head out of the clouds, looking over at the brunette that he was supposed to be working with on an in-class assignment. He blushed, shaking his head.
"It's ... nothing."
"Oh come on, don't even. You've been staring at that dude over there for the past five minutes. Who is he?"
Roxas looked up to see who he had been staring at, not even realizing that he had been gawking at anyone in particular. "No one." A lie. That person he had been staring at just so happened to stay lodged into his thoughts as of late.
"Do you want me to go up and ask him why you would be staring at him? Because I would."
"I'm just thinking about things, Sora, don't worry about it." The blonde made sure that his eyes didn't wander back to that mess of slate hair. When had Zexion gotten into the majority of his classes? Why didn't he notice before?
"You can tell me, you know."
"What question are we on?"
Sora covered up his work, making sure that Roxas wouldn't be able to look at it. "You're not allowed to go changing the subject, man! Answer me and I'll answer you."
Roxas weighed his options. Did he tell Sora that he was thinking of his encounter with the slate-haired teen a few days prior or did he keep his trap shut? Was it his business? His place to talk about Zexion's unshared problems?
"I'm just thinking of Axel, okay?" Lie. What was with him lately? He seemed to be lying too much. "I'm good now though. It just came out of the blue."
Sora's face dropped in understanding as he sat back up. "Oh ... I'm sorry."
A reassuring smile crossed over the blonde's lips. "It's okay. How were you supposed to know? It's all good."
"Alright ... well, if you're sure ... We're on number six."
Roxas focused on the task at hand, helping Sora finish long before the allotted time. The two laughed and talked when they were done but Sora didn't bring the redhead up again.
"Roxas..." The voice from beside him made the blonde jump, turning to look up at the slate-haired teen standing in front of him. He could barely see the hint of the bruise still darkening his neck but he was sure no one else would have been able to see it.
"...Hi?" Roxas was hesitant to begin a conversation with the teen, afraid that something would be said and Sora would know exactly who it was he was talking to. But then again, that could just help secure the lie he had fed Axel. Wouldn't that be a good outcome?
"I'm really sorry..." It sounded so difficult for Zexion to apologize, though Roxas wasn't entirely sure what for.
"For what?"
"I'll talk to you about it later. I ..." Zexion's gaze flashed to Sora for a second before gluing back onto the blonde. "... can't really say here. But I brought everything for our project, so ... Do you want to work on it at lunch today? Make up for that day that we missed last week?"
"Uh, yeah, sure. Meet in the library?"
Zexion only nodded. "I'll see you there." And with that he was going back over to his seat, packing up his books for the end of class. Sora leaned in close, staring at the stranger.
"Who was that? He was totally that dude you were staring at earlier! Who is he? C'mon, tell me, man!"
Roxas knew that there was no way that he was going to be getting out of it this time. Why should he even bother? It wasn't like Sora would hate him for talking to Zexion again.
"You can't tell Hayner. He would beat me. Promise."
"Yeah, yeah, of course, I promise. Trap is shut now. Now tell me!"
Roxas took a deep breath, scared about what reaction the brunette would have. "Well ... you just met Zexion..."
"That's Zex- ... I mean, that's Zexion?" Sora started off with almost a yell, checking himself and moving to a harsh whisper. His eyes were glued to the teen that had obviously heard him.
"Yeah ... Just please don't tell Hayner..."
"I won't, I won't. But what are you doing talking to him? I thought you hated him!"
A blush was creeping up over the blonde, threatening to consume him. He couldn't look at Sora, Zexion, anyone. So he looked passed his desk, down at his shoes. "I do! ... I mean ... I did? We've got this huge project we're doing together – against my will, I swear – so we've been talking a bit. I don't think that I'll ever be friends with him or anything, but ... I dunno ... I don't even know."
Sora put on his reassuring smile that he seemed to be able to pull out of nowhere and still have it lift the blonde's spirits. Reaching out, Sora gave Roxas' arm a pat. "Well, I'm proud of you. That takes guts. And at least he said he's sorry, right? Don't worry, I'll just tell Hayner that you had to go do something in the library. You know how much he hates that place."
Roxas gave out a laugh as the bell rang, signalling that class was over for now. "Do you know how much you rock?"
"I have a vague idea. Go have fun and good luck on that project."
"I'm scared, Sor! I don't want to know what he's sorry for!"
"Just go! I have to go meet Riku, he's just down the hall."
Roxas pouted but he was just putting on a show. He was actually more curious as to what the slate-haired teen would be apologizing for. So he left the brunette, making the trek to the library alone. Not that he minded. He needed the time to think, to prepare.
All too soon, he was hauling on the door to the quiet area, his stomach gurgling in hunger and with butterflies. But curiosity continued to win out as he found Zexion, huddled in a secluded corner, far away from anyone that could overhear them or disturb them. Or maybe so they wouldn't be able to disturb anyone.
"Hey," Roxas greeted, not getting much of a response from Zexion. "So, where do you wanna start? With the project or why you were apologizing?"
Tentative fingers dusted over the shadow on Zexion's neck, but he didn't seem to notice what he was doing. "I think we should catch up with the project."
"What, lose the balls you gathered earlier?" A warning glare was aimed at the blonde, and he shook his head, surprised at the hostility that seemed to come from nowhere. "Sorry. Alright, so, project. Where were we?"
xXxXx
November
xXxXx
"Dude, you are not going to be missin' another lunch hour today! Seriously? How long is this stupid project?" Hayner threw his arms up in defeat, huffing at the fact that he would have to lose his friend for another lunch.
"I'm sorry, but it's worth a huge chunk of my grade. I'm not just gonna half-ass it. I don't even really wanna work on it today but ... my partner said that he wanted to work on it more, so, I kinda have to."
"Who is this jerk, anyways? Can't he do his own share and let you chill with the cool kids?"
Roxas rolled his eyes, ignoring the first question, hoping it would be forgotten with his comeback. "Then I still wouldn't be hanging out with you at lunch." Hayner pounced on him, pummelling his arm with playful slams.
"Shut up, man. Don't even. But seriously, who is it? Do I know him? Is he sex-eh? Are you just making up this project so you can go be with your new boyfriend?"
A small chuckle and a shake of the head. "Ya know what, I'm just going to walk away now. Have fun with Pence, Hay." And Roxas didn't let the elder get another scrap of information out of him. Zexion was already up in the library, waiting for him. A stone sank in his stomach when he noticed the look that pierced him the moment he spotted his partner.
A dark, purple bruise was hardly hidden as it crossed the elder teen's cheek. Fire burned in his dead eyes, frantically searching the doorframe for the blonde. Roxas' brows creased in confused worry as he crossed the distance to the corner that they had dubbed as their own, secluded from the remainder of the library.
"I need to tell you something."
Roxas slid into the seat opposite the slate-haired teen, eying the discolorations in confusion. "What's up?"
"I don't want your pity, okay?"
"Okay?"
"Well, I already told you I'm sorry. A few times, if I remember correctly. But I think I would say it until I'm blue in the face. I'm sorry for what I've done to you in the past. I'm really, really sorry." Zexion couldn't look at the blonde, shaking his head and rubbing at his arm. Another bruise maybe? Roxas didn't know what to say to the apology.
"Define 'what I've done'."
The ghost of a smirk twitched the elder teen's lips at Roxas' words. "Anything wrong I have ever done to you. I was young, stupid. You didn't deserve someone like me. I regret... choosing Luxord over you. I really do."
"It's okay. You were a horny douche and Axel was better for me anyways." Roxas didn't care that he sounded cold. He didn't feel like talking about the past. He was only concerned with the bruises or the project. He didn't want to know what Zexion regretted or why.
Zexion seemed to take the insult to heart, not speaking again for another ten minutes about anything other than the project that they were still ploughing through. Finally, he asked "do you even care about my personal life? Do you want to know?"
Roxas thought about his answer for a long moment, twiddling with his pencil. "It's been two months. Do you think I've earned the right to know about it?"
"So you don't hate me then?"
Again, the blonde paused to think. "Not ... Not as much as I did a year ago. But you ... made some good things happen, so I can't really hate you. It would be a little immature, don't ya think?" A small nod from the slate-haired teen. "How'd you get those bruises?" Finally, the question that he had been dying to know the answer to for months now. Zexion had been anticipating it, Roxas was sure, but it didn't mean that he was exactly willing to answer in plain words.
"I told you already that I regret what I did to you. This is my punishment."
"Luxord, then?"
Shaking his head, Zexion let out a soft chuckle. "You are far too smart, Roxas. One of the things that makes me admire you the most."
"It's not hard. You went with him and then said you were getting your punishment for it. So, it's gotta be him that's doing it."
"I suppose you're right about that, aren't you?"
"I guess ... Well, why are you still with him, then? That's a dick move and I don't think even you deserve it. "
Zexion rolled his eyes. "Why did you stay with me, even though the way I was treating you was completely inappropriate as well?"
Roxas stalled, contemplating the elder's words. "But ... But that was completely different!"
"Was it?"
"Yes!" But Roxas couldn't explain how. So he just fiddled with is pencil. "Look at you..." The words were a whisper, almost too low for the elder teen to hear. "You let yourself get beat up ... and you call us the same..."
"You say that like I have a choice."
"Leave him!" The blonde's voice rose far too loud for a library, but he hardly cared. He forced himself to keep it in check, balling his fists. Why he was getting so involved was a mystery to him. "You shouldn't put up with shit like that! Axel got rid of his dad! I think you could get rid of someone like ... Luxord." The name was spit with as much contempt as he could muster.
"I told you I didn't want pity. I needed to confide in someone, not get a lecture, Roxas. Everything is just fine."
"Just fine? How do you-" Roxas stopped at the glare he received. Something sank in his stomach from that look. "Okay ... sorry. It's fine, I guess ... But-"
"No 'buts', please. I'm ... content ... with the way things are."
"Obviously not if you have to come talk to me! But ... it's just fine ..."
"Just fine."
Roxas forced himself back to work, tried his hardest to get the abuse out of his head. He was amazed at how a little confession could change everything around.
xXxXx
Hayner gave out a whoop of anger, jumping up and shoving the controller in his hand at Sora, giving a defeated sneer at his howling boyfriend. Pence was nearly doubled over in laughter at his blonde's reaction. "You think you're so great? Yeah? I call hacks, man! I think you rigged that! You cheated!"
"Did not!" Pence cried back to the sore-loser's accusations, his eyes still scrunched up in laughter. "I beat you fair and square! Admit it! I'm just better than you are!"
Hayner snarled at the comeback, humour slipping onto his face. He pounced on the black-haired teen, ruffling up his hair even more than it already was. Riku backed away slightly, trying not to be wacked in the face with a stray limb.
"Oh come on, just get on with the game," Roxas pressed, standing and grabbing Hayner around the middle, dragging him off the victor. Hayner crinkled his nose in defiance but allowed himself to be pulled back.
"You're no fun, Roxas."
"I just wanna see Sora win a round."
"You say that like I normally don't win!" Sora cried, pouting at the younger blonde that was giving him a smirk.
"Well, you kind of don't, Sor. You're too afraid to get in there and shoot the zombies," Riku pointed out, smirking at the glower he received from his boyfriend.
"Okay, before someone decides to commit some murder, let's get started on the next round, 'kay?" Pence directed the question at the brunette that was glaring daggers at Riku.
Roxas couldn't help but smile. Zexion's confession was far from his mind as the teens played video-games on their day off in Hayner's bedroom. These were the only people he needed in his life. He was happy, genuinely so, even though the end of the project loomed near, even though at that moment, Zexion was being used, abused, bruised once more.
xXx
To Be Continued
xXx
So, Year One for Roxas is a very happenin' time. I should be able to get it done in the next chapter... I would hope. But you guys aren't complaining, are you? :P Well, tell me what you're thinkin'. :D Also ... anyone know a lil' trilogy called The MazeRunner? If so, pleasepleaseplease tell me! I'm DESPERATE for conversation about it!
~xbuttonsx~