"Denial"

Hindsight is the bane of a pure heart. Any inspiration it draws is overshadowed by repercussions.

"What if…"

"How did I…?

"Why didn't I…"

The questions are the same, whether it is a failed romance, a missed chance, a simple mistake…

Or a loved one's death.

The only differences are the answers.

The answers that tell you that you were wrong the whole time…

And no one likes being told they were wrong…

Some will fight it tooth and nail to deny it.

But when the foundation that supports them in that fight fails, not even the gods may help that lost soul.

It was two weeks from that night.I don't remember much of the day, only about 15 minutes. Everything outside of that just blurs into obscurity. It is like nothing else matters or happened. All I know is this was the turning point of my life; the moment that defined me as a person, shaped me, transformed me.

It was the moment that haunts me to this day; those words; forever etched into my mind.

"Yuno! Miyako! H-help! It's Sae… Nori, she…" It was this; this was the exact moment.

I gaze over my balcony at the world around. Nothing has changed, yet from my point of view, it seems like the whole world has shifted. Changed dimensions. A paradigm shift.

I wish I could change it back, go back in time. Do something to prevent this from happening...

Ha… sounds like something in a work of science fiction…

They say that going to sleep in a foul mood brings bad luck the next day. If there was a scale to measure how foul my mood was, it would defiantly be "foulest". This, according to the superstition, would correspond with me receiving "badest" or worst luck.

This thought plagued me as I begrudgingly raised my head from my pillow. I glanced at the pillow to see dry water marks. Slobber maybe? No, they are too far apart and too high up on the cloth. I've also never done that before in my sleep…

Well, I've never had my dreams shattered by someone I assumed to be my friend either. It's a day of firsts, so it seemed.

I don't have the energy to air my mattress. Miya hasn't come over yet either. My routine is already in shambles.

The clock told me I had about half an hour before school started again. I knew I had to go, but the energy I usually possess to commit to such activities seemed to have been drained from me today. The constant phrase kept nagging at me. "Why bother?"

I pondered for moments whether I should call in sick or not. Time raced on and soon it was quarter of an hour until school started. My room remained silent in darkness. I had yet to open the blinds or my door; I didn't even turn on my lights. "Why bother?" That phrase struck me again.

"Yunochi, are you coming today?" It was Miya's voice. I thought of possible responses but ultimately decided; "Why bother?" I feigned sleep to my friend instead of replying. Hopefully she would go on her way. I just wasn't in the mood.

In for a dime, in for a dozen. My routine is so well dismantled today that I might as well skip the rest of it.

My thoughts became a swirl of depression. The dark room seemed to close in on me and suck me into some sort of abyss with no escape. I thought about what Hiro said.

"Am I able to become an artist?"

"Do I have the ability? Do I have the drive?"

"Can I stand up to those who say I can't?"

I had never really thought about those kinds of questions. The answer to all of them was the same. No. No. No. No. No. Every time I answered a question with that response I was pulled further and further into the abyss.

It was then a shining ray of light, a hand came to offer its assistance. It's coming was marked by a very distinct banging noise.

"Yunochi! Open up! I'm starving! If you don't feed me I'm going to die!" It was Miya thumping on the door and crying for me to open up. Her selfishness and childish nature perked some sort of maternal instinct in me and dragged me from the darkness.

There was no way I could let my best friend see me in the same way as she saw me last night. I remember her reaction when she looked into my eyes. It is a reaction I never want to see on her face again.

I had to act like I was feeling fine. Everything was still all running according to plan. Ten minutes until school starts. Need to hurry.

I threw the crinkled and unwashed uniform I wore yesterday on and gave light to my room. The blinds saw themselves open and the lights on. Miya's banging got louder and louder the longer I took. I decided against doing my hair, the extent done to it was throwing my hairclips in.

The mattress too had to go out. Maybe I can get Miya to help. By this time, however, Miya was close to breaking the door down so I decided to confront her instead. I look good, right? Cute, right? Normal, right?

Here it goes… Poker face: Activate.

"Ah, Miya it's almost time for school. Have you had any breakfast yet?" I greeted and inquired as innocently as possible. Miya looked like she picked up on the forced enthusiasm for moments, but soon returned to her bubbly self. Perhaps I imagined it.

"Mornin' Yunochi! Nope, not yet. But I brought some food over so we can eat. I feel bad for eating all your Indian rolls yesterday so I brought some rice balls. Let's eat!" She declared, revealing a container of Rice balls wrapped with bread instead of sea weed. It was white bread I deduced. I was curious as to when she made them and why she thought it was a good idea to wrap rice with bread. Would you like some carbohydrates with your carbohydrates, sir?

"Ah, but it is almost time for school. We best going. You can eat them on the way; I've already had something to eat." I lied to her. I thought it was well covered. Miya poked her head around me and saw my bedding not on my veranda before responding.

"Nope. I'm eating here. You can have some too, since they are so delicious. Who cares if we're late again? I'll take the punishment for ya' me hearty!" Miya pushed her way past me and sat down at my tea table. She began eating her rice balls with her usual vigor and I couldn't help but genuinely laugh.

I had to admit, I was famished. I hadn't thought how I'd get through the day without anything on my stomach, so I was for once grateful of my friend's greed.

Joining Miya to eat her questionable concoction, we conversed in idle chitchat. The whole time I was doing this, I had totally forgotten that only a few minutes ago I was drowning myself in darkness. The room had a totally new atmosphere compared to then.

After getting something on our stomachs, we were off to school. I had no idea if Sae or Hiro had left yet and frankly, I couldn't care less.

As we walked at the usual pace, Miya started to grimace and slow her pace down. She clutched her stomach and moaned under her breathe.

"Miya, are you OK! You don't look too good! Maybe you should see the school nurse."

"Haaa… Maybe there was something funky in those rice balls, urgh…"

"Maybe it was just how quickly you ate them!" I laughed. Miya only smiled painfully and nodded in agreement. I deduced it must have been the speed in which she ate her food, since I wasn't feeling anything she was. Though difficult to stomach, they filled me up. I only had three and Miya had five, so it could have been quantity as well.

That girl and her food, seriously…

When the two of us waltzed into the room during first period, we received a tongue lashing from the principle. Unfortunately for us, he was substituting for Ms Yoshinoya. She has apparently gone AWOL after arriving at school. Unbeknownst to him, the typical suspect would be the nurse's lounge.

After the prattling of the old man on traditions and customs I've never heard of, we took our seats. Miya was still showing signs of stomach pain, yet admirably made it through the lesson. I decided I'd take her to the nurse's lounge regardless. I needed to tell Ms Yoshinoya why we weren't at homeroom anyway.

After knocking on the nurse's lounge's door I heard the distant sounds of squeaking shoes flee somewhere before the nurse, Ms Kuwahara opened the door. Ms Yoshinoya was in here, I could tell. Anyway, I explained Miya's condition and the nurse took her inside with me and she began examining her.

Meanwhile, I was searching the beds for the runaway professional. There were no other students in here, according to the nurse. One by one, I slowly worked my way to the last unchecked bed. Slowly opening the curtain that surrounded it, the high pitch squeal of my art teacher destroyed everyone in a mile radius's eardrums.

"Ms Yoshinoya, we weren't in homeroom because Miya was sick." I nonchalantly and calmly informed. This was no position to act in a lower position; after all she was the one in more trouble, not us. A wave of relief struck the teacher and she sighed.

"Ah… Yuno it's only you. Ok, I'll make sure you don't get in trouble. But that's only if I don't get in trouble, either." As usual her words seemed innocent enough, yet her delivery struck fear into me. The way she said it was like a gangster saying "If I don't get no cops sniffing around, you be alright, capeesh?"

Scary stuff.

After closing the curtain I returned to Miya's side. Ms Kuwahara was just questioning her on what she had ate, what she had done this morning and other menial things. I wasn't paying much attention, but I did notice Miya had stopped answering the nurse's questions when I came over. The nurse repeated her current question, somewhat agitated at her silence.

"How much did you eat this morning?" Miya's glance moved to me and our eyes met. She seemed anxious, like a politician about to have his career ruined. She smiled and faced neither the nurse nor myself as she answered.

"Five sticks of grilled chicken, three pieces of toast, three glasses of water, two bowls of tuna curry and five bread-wrapped rice balls." Ms Kuwahara almost chocked at the thought.

All I remember thinking is: "Are you insane? Are you trying to kill yourself!"

"How long ago did you eat all this…?" the nurse continued

"…Two hours."

"You're lucky you've only got stomach cramps. That amount of food could easily hospitalize you." Miya averted her gaze to the floor and nodded at Ms Kuwahara's chastising statements.

We had been at school for an hour. She had eaten all this food, bar the rice balls, in the unaccounted for hour space between her waking up and coming to my door. Yet even after she had eaten all that, she came to mine with some quickly prepared fillers and monstered them down with no restraint.

What the hell was she thinking?

The rest of the day, Miya was at the nurse's lounge. My school day dragged on trying to find a reason why she would do this. After collecting her from the lounge we began our slow trot home. At Miya's pace, of course. Just before we returned to Hidamari Apartments, I felt it to be the best time to ask her. The atmosphere between us was quickly becoming stale. It needed to be asked.

"Miya… Why did you eat that much this morning? Are you trying to hurt yourself…?" It was a direct question. I expected a direct response from a direct person like Miya, yet…

"I guess I just forgot I ate before coming to your room, Yunochi." A moment of silence occurred before Miya answered me and she followed her comment up with a nervous laugh. It was an unsatisfying answer to say the least. I was going to push the point until Miya denied the conversation from moving that way.

"Let's not talk about it anymore, especially with the new sophomores moving in today." Miya continued as we were approached Hidamari Apartments. I had been so caught up in my little spell of depression caused by Hiro and worry on Miya's behalf that I totally forgot we were getting new people today. More people I have to be brave for, I suppose.

Before we made it up the stairs to our rooms, Sae poked her head out from the once empty room of 103. Her glasses reflected the sunlight into my eyes when I turned to her beckoning.

"Hey guys, come meet the new tenants! And check this machine one of them brought with her!" She cheerfully called, seeming unfazed by Hiro's comments last night. Miya too acted like she was unfazed by them. Maybe I'm just taking it too close to heart since she responded to my comment. They both acted as if it never happened. Or maybe they didn't show it.

But those kinds of thoughts can wait. I've got to make a good first impression today.

Sae ducked back into the room after she called us over. Shortly after she disappeared, I poked my head around the corner to see three girls around a computer and monitor, half crouching as it was on the tea table. Sae was on her knees to the left of the screen; her formidable presence and familiarity easily shadowed the meek-looking albino next to her who must have been the new tenant. Hiro was to the right, though I can't recollect much of what she was doing or wearing. I was still fairly miffed at Hiro, thus gave her none of my time. She wasn't worth it to me then.

The room had a very "hip" technological vibe. It almost felt like the air was different in here than the other rooms. The desk was covered in cables and computer gadgets and the whirling of the computer's fan kept the room from falling silent at all times.

Sae noticed us at the door and the small grin that was already on her face beamed into a giant smile. She hopped up off her knees and dragged me in. Miya followed behind with her usual pep. Sae probably dragged me in since she could tell I was nervous. Miya, however, marched in unassisted and declared herself in a very enthusiastic manner.

I was dragged behind the computer by her masculine hands. It was then I realised there was another girl in the room. Her superman-blue hair was tied up in two small pigtails and she was currently talking to Hiro and pointing to the screen. Hiro was nodding gently as the new tenant explained something to her. There was a web-browser up. I knew a bit about computers since last year they started teaching computer courses at school, but to Hiro and Sae this was probably all completely new to them. They had their electives, none of which were computer related.

"Miyako, meet extraordinaire. I have no money but-" the two girls who were sitting down moved their attention to Miya, who was waving her arms about. Sae grabbed her and pulled her to the ground.

"Miyako! That's not how you do an introduction! You're just trying to play on their sympathy to get food out of them!" Sae reprimanded Miya in a headlock, who wasn't the littlest bit fazed. She remained quiet until Sae sighed before speaking again. She had probably waited for a moment when Sae's attention slipped ever slightly.

"I love art, but don't have many supplies. So if you could-"Sae cut her off again with a headlock. Déjà vu.

"Urgh, you'll get to know her eventually. Anyway, Yuno think you could do it right? Show Miya how it's done." Sae sighed once again after securing a firm grip on Miya's mouth to prevent her from talking. Miya was acting instantly revitalised after arriving back home, she was stilling trying to talk after Sae covered her mouth. Both of the new girl's attention was then focused on me. It was like a spotlight. It pierced my soul.

Oh no! What do I talk about…? What do I say…? Why is it times like these when I never have anything to say but later I can write an essay for you? Oh well… Here it goes… Act natural, the first thing that pops into your head!

"Umm, uhh. I'm Yuno. I live upstairs in 201. I go to Yamabuki. I love art… but I'm not so sure what the future holds for me yet." I said this all standing up and then bowed at the end to the two girls who had turned to face me. Sae's grip on Miya loosened and she looked away towards the end of my introduction. Miya stopped struggling too. They were probably worried how my future plans changed after yesterday's outburst. Only Hiro and the two other girls seemed to accept what I said at face value. The naïve and the monster.

"Ok, I'm Nori. I live 'ere as a today and I'm in the art class. I'm good with the computer and love making stuff on it. The landlady said she 'ad the IT stuff installed just for this little room 'ere since I paid a bit extra, yeah." The blue haired girl who was called Nori introduced herself after standing up. She tapped the computer monitor when she referred to it. Her voice radiated confidence in a difficult to understand dialect.

A flash of despair hit me when she stood up; she was half a foot taller than me at least.

And she was a sophomore…

I'll never grow!

Even the sophomores are taller than me!

Wahhh…

At the same time, Miya's eyes flashed with avarice at the words "paid a bit extra". Sae recovered her almost airtight grip on the junior before she said something again. We all shared a laugh, bar Hiro. She was still oddly quiet. So she should be.

After the laugh we were about to start more natural conversations until a small voice interjected. It was the other tenant. I had almost completely forgotten about her! How embarrassing! She was already standing… how could I do such a thing?

"Umm, I'm Nazuna… Umm, uhh… I'm not in the art class… But I do like it… I hope you can be nice to me…" Like an ant's fart, the quiet girl introduced herself. I could barely make it out what she was saying between the 'Umms' and "uhhs'.

Nori and Nazumi were quiet the opposites. One radiated confidence and belief in her ability while the other had no self-confidence at all and had a very minimal presence about her…

I mean Nazuna. Nazuna, Nazuna, Nazuna, Nazuna. Phew, lucky I didn't say that then and there. I would have destroyed her spirit!

Anyway, when Nazumi stood up I noticed something that made me think she was like a sister to me. Her height! It was glorious! She was a touch smaller than me!

Happy days! Yuno is finally taller than someone her own age!

I wanted to tackle hug my new kindred spirit! She knows my pain of a height complex, no doubt! We share a common trait!

Oh Nazumi… I shall treat you like a sister!

…

I mean Nazuna, yeah. It's just a teething process… Yeah…

After we sat down, I noticed I had yet to take my shoes off after coming home from school. How rude! I slipped them off and took Miya's and my own shoes outside. I put the two pairs next to the others. Miya's were obviously much larger than mine. In fact, everyone else's shoes should be larger than mine except Nazuna. I wanted to relish in this chance. I search for the smaller pair near the front door yet there wasn't one. Maybe she didn't wear any shoes before coming here. Sae called out to me from inside. It set of a chain of revelations that crushed me.

"What's wrong Yuno? Someone take our shoes?"

"Uhh maybe, did you all wear shoes before coming here?"

"Yeah, I think so. Why?"

"It's just, I think Nazuna's shoes might be missing." After I announced this, Nazuna shrinked out in a panicked state and stood next to me looking for her pair. She almost instantly bent down and picked a larger pair of shoes up and turned to me and smiled.

"Oh, no these are mine. Thank you for worrying though." She hushed with a docile look on her face. I turned to her in shock.

She…

Was taller…

Than me...?

I checked underneath both of us. She's not on tippy toes, not standing on anything. I'm not in a ditch. Oh no. No. No. No.

How could this be?

How could you betray me, you dopey little such and such?

Geez Louise…

After placing the accursed shoes back, Nazuna returned inside to listen to the lecture Nori was giving to Sae and Hiro about computers. Miya seemed only slightly interested, but was mostly thinking of something else. You could see her brain work by her body language.

I came into Nori's lecture about half way through and she was currently discussing the uses Sae may have for computers. Her hand motions and depth of knowledge made the whole experience enthralling.

"So Sae, you said you do a little writing, yeah? If you use this thing 'ere, it might make your life a little easier…" Nori prompted and opened a word processing document and typed the words "It is this easy!" on the screen. Sae seemed interested, yet reluctant.

"It would be a lot easier, but I've got an editor that does all that sort of stuff for me and I don't really want to bother you all the time. Sometimes the deadlines catch up really quick, and I have to pull all-nighters and that isn't fair on you." Sae deduced then concluded.

"Well why not get it for your room?"

"It's a bit expensive to have all the equipment installed, so I might pass. How about you, Hiro?" Sae passed Nori's sale pitch onto Hiro. Hiro took this opportunity to speak, the first time I had heard her today.

"Nori showed me a great tool that could help me with my cooking. I also feel the same way as Sae, however, that I wouldn't really want to intrude on you all the time to use it." Hiro's elegant mannerisms in speech had returned to her overnight. How lucky for her. I must admit, I am spiting her for it.

"Well, if that is all you want it for, then there be a perfect cheapie in the store down the road, yeah. I saw it when I was grabbing et'ernet cables and a printer. 'Ow about we go scout it out, yeah?" Nori requested in the imperative form. Hiro seemed eager. After it was decided, the two of them set off to get to the store before sundown. It was just the four of us left. Nori was anxious to leave her computer unattended and requested us to leave without her there. Reasonable, but why? She might have something on it she doesn't want us to see…

Anyway, we followed Nazuna to her room. By "we" I mean Sae, Miya and myself. Unlike Nori's room, Nazuna's was much alike our rooms, best described as plain. A small table, bench, bed and dresser were all that furnished it. I couldn't explain it, but I felt much better in this kind of room compared to the technological one of Nori. Nazuna presented to us some corn and potato chips in a bowl and some flavoured water. It was a far cry from Hiro's hospitality but it was pleasant nonetheless.

"So, uhh… Yuno, you like art, right…? Why is that?" Nazuna asked after a while of awkward conversation. She was a difficult person to talk to; you could never know what she was thinking. Much the opposite compared to my usual conversations with Miya. Sae too was having difficulty stimulating conversation. This was her first question she had asked.

Her question was quite a difficult and painful thing for me to think about at the moment, but she was ignorant of my circumstances. I didn't want to intimidate her from asking and participating in further conversation so I decided to answer her. I had spent my whole morning answering it, so I was well prepared.

"Until recently, it was something I had wanted to do as a profession because I loved the freedom it gives you. The freedom of expression available and limited only by your fingers and thoughts is something truly magical. But now, I'm not too sure." I answered the timid girl's question. She nodded in understanding and was developing an appropriate response.

The answer I gave wasn't all false, but it wasn't all true either. It was true that I had wanted to be an artist, but "I'm not too sure" is just a euphemism for "My ideals were destroyed yesterday".

"I see. It's good you're in the art class though. I have an interest in art, but I don't have any skill. I wish I can create, but I don't think I'll be ever able to make something that looks good." Nazuna responded in a dejected tone.

"Nonsense. If this kid here can do it, anyone can. You just need some confidence, that's all. With a little hard work and some lessons, you too can create." Sae reaffirmed the saddened albino by denouncing Miya. The sad girl looked up to the mature one with what could only be explained as admiration. Perhaps all she needed was someone to tell her she could.

Miya's antics could not come at a worse time for the two of them.

"You know, instead of trying to become good at something you're not good at, how about you become great at something you're already good at?" Her comment was brutal, but not untrue. Nazuna feigned to accept her insight, yet was secretly hurting.

"I'm not good at anything though…" Nazuna replied. Sae and I understood her position and if it were us, we wouldn't even be in this situation. We tried, but we just couldn't stop Miya…

"Well, there's no crying over spilt milk if you didn't have any milk to begin with."

Ouch. Even I felt that one.

There was no malice in her words, yet that didn't take the sting out of them. I tried to prevent Nazuna from crying. Somehow I had to make up from my friends selfishness. This was a lot like my experience the previous night, but I just couldn't come up with anything. Luckily Sae interjected.

"There is time, you are only a sophomore. I didn't find writing until I was finishing my sophomore year. So cheer up, give it time. Something will come naturally. But at the same time you will have to work hard. You are born with talent, but you develop skill." Sae's words were like one of a loving father. That was another thing it seems I have in common with Nazuna; we both seem to rely on others as important figures in our life.

Perhaps that's why it hurt so much when Hiro denounced my dreams.

Nazuna was cheering up thanks to Sae's words and occasionally Miya would get shot with a death stare out of the corner of her glasses. However, with that it seemed Nazuna came out of her shell and the conversations became livelier.

After a few hours waiting for Hiro and Sae to return, Miya decided it was time for her to return to her room. I followed soon with Sae and we said our goodnights to Nazuna. Before Sae proceeded down the stairs to her room, she struck an odd conversation with me.

"Don't you think she's a good girl?" Was her question. Nothing strange about it, yet.

"Yeah, she's very kind and a little quite. Very cute too."

"Hey, you shouldn't call people taller than you cute. I saw your face when you found out." She was chuckling, hand on stomach and over mouth.

I take exception to that, man-hands.

"Anyway, I get a feeling like I have to take care of her, you know? Something bad might happen if she gets the wrong influences. That's what I feel anyway. Now I know how Hiro felt when she was taking care of us." The strangest part of her dialogue was her tense on the word "feel".

She used a past tense version, indicating she had stopped feeling that emotion. Why, I wondered. It was simple curiousity at the time. If only I had actively searched for the answer…

Sae wondered off after revealing that last bit of information to her room downstairs. I could hear her talking to Nori and Hiro on the floor below. I found out later that the two were installing Hiro's new computer this whole time. I wasn't interested, thus went to my room.

From the terrible omens and start today had, it turned out well. I completed all of my routine, with the exception of airing my mattress as it was too late. The depressing thought seemed to disappear, all thanks to my friends influence. My eyes shut with a smile on my face.

The next day, there were no water stains on my pillow.

Over the next three days, my routine returned to its normal pattern. My life had seemed to get back on track, with only the occasional thought of my now questionable future.

I didn't take any notice of it, but I had stopped seeing Hiro altogether. I didn't realize it until Sae confronted me and Miya about it. It was strange for her to be asking us about her best friend, but that only made the situation more suspicious.

There's nothing wrong with it, I guess. Hiro is probably just feeling sick or something of the sort.

Miya's thoughts were contrary to mine. She began to appear anxious at this revelation. She suggested we force our way into her room to check on Hiro.

Hiro didn't answer our request for entry, thus Miya broke the doorhandle and made an entrance.

It was a sight to behold.

Her room was in pieces. It reminded me of that small cycle of depression I had entered a week and a half ago, on a large scale. Shopping bags were everywhere; the bin was overflowing with half-cooked or fully prepared recipes. The only thing that brought brightness to the room of darkness, in the daytime mind you, was the dull computer monitor.

After breaking the door down Miya raced inside and Sae followed. I cautiously entered after them and could hear the distinct sounds of sobbing. Miya and Sae collective screamed Hiro's name after seeing the girl.

When I saw her she was lying in her bed, covered by sheets with tears flowing down her eyes. She tried to use her pillow to dry them away, but only created stains and removed half of the tears. The stains looked familiar. Sae ran to her to try and comfort her while Miya searched the room. I remained dazed at the sight I saw.

One time or another I had wished this upon her, worse even. Now that I was here, I wanted to take all those thoughts back. Deny that I had thought them. It was soul crushing.

Sae was trying to hush Hiro's crying when Miya starting whispering under her breathe. Sounded like she was counting. When she realised I was listening, she turned to me and spoke.

"These ingredients… these dishes… they are all really difficult and very expensive." She spoke whilst deep in thought. She wasn't looking for a response; she was simply stating what she was thinking to me.

I have no idea what made me check her computer, but I did. I guess you could say I'm like a moth to a light. I moved the mouse to bring the screen up and searched what was currently up. It was a website with all different recipes in a sidebar. There was also a word-processing document up.

My recipes

Lamb and Beef Schnitzel: Failure.

Chocolate Croissant: Failure.

Caviar: Failure

The list continued on late that. They were the only words I could recognise, some were so foreign I wouldn't even have a chance guessing what they were. The common factor was "Failure" marked to next to them. Had she been spending all this time cooking?

Miya had finally done some rough calculations in her head and asked Hiro a very direct question, incredibly rude:

"How much did this all cost?"

Hiro didn't respond.

"Hiro?" Sae prompted the girl to answer.

"My life savings."

Everyone was left stunned for moments. She was joking, right? She had to be. That is a fate worse than death. She'll have to move out of Hidamari before she finishes school. Why would you do that to yourself?

Hiro whispered something in a small voice to Sae, but because the room was so quiet everyone could hear it.

"My dream… ruined."

After we heard that, Sae chased us out.

I was shocked. I couldn't think straight. I was even thinking terrible thoughts. The words "Karma" and "Divine Retribution" kept coming to mind.

After we were kicked out, Miya led us to collect Nori and Nazuna and we met in Miya's room. Miya spearheaded a brainstorm for ideas on how to help Hiro out in this situation. Eventually Nazuna presented we help her monetarily, lend her funds.

However, between Nori's already stretched budget because of her computer, Miya's hopeless income it was left to Nazuna and I to raise a fund.

Yet, beyond all reason, I lied about my access to currency. I told them I had nothing to spare for Hiro's sake. I can't give you a good reason why I said it. Perhaps something inside of me enjoyed seeing this happen to her.

"Karma".

So it was left to Nazuna who confronted Sae about her offer while the rest of us sat on our thumbs. Sae refused to let us see Hiro, stating she was "too out of it to talk to anyone else". Although I was worried, I still had to continue with my life. Exams and assessments were quickly coming which helped me take my mind off the issue.

A week passed and I only saw Hiro once being taken to the doctor by Sae. She looked sickly. Her cheeks were flat, hair was unwashed and eyes were baggy. Despite Sae's efforts, she wasn't getting any better.

My conflicted emotions over her suffering continued as exams approached. At nights I would lie in bed and hate myself for taking any pleasure in this suffering she was experiencing.

It wasn't until the night before my first day of exams I came with the perfect plan to help Hiro; we would contact the school and see if we could do a fundraiser on Hiro's behalf. We could sell our artwork to the public and mainstream students! It was a great idea, I thought. However, it came to me too late in the night for me to tell anyone else, the clock showed "01:56", AM. It would have to wait for the morning before I could tell everyone the good news.

But my bad omens caught up with me that morning.

"Yuno! Miya! Open up!" It was Nazuna. Miya was in my room having breakfast as we enjoyed just another typical morning. I answered the door in a frenzy. Nazuna stood there with tears in her eyes and scuffs on her uniform and face.

"Nastuna! What's wrong? Why are you crying!" My emotions took hold of me. I was swept up into the moment. Miya had come to the door and stood behind me as well.

"Yuno! Miyako! H-help! It's Sae… Nori, she…" Nazuna looked at both of us when she called our names and pleaded for help. She broke down and Miya pushed her way past us. I intended to follow Miya but Nazuna clung to me.

"I tried to stop them! I tried! I couldn't do anything for her…! I… I…" the albino girl spat before her speech was drowned into her cries.

I hugged her and told her to stay in my room quickly before following Miya down the stairs.

Sae was throttling the smaller girl Nori with her hands around her neck. She was slamming the blue haired girls on the concrete underneath them.

"I'll kill you! I'll fucking do it. This is all your fault!" were the screams of rage emitted by Sae.

"N-no… it's not…" Nori was trying to say something, but only just managed to spit out a few words before losing breathe.

Miya was on top of Sae trying to pry the raging woman off the girl, yet her strength was too much for the blonde busty. I immediately ran to help Miya separate the two. We managed to succeed shortly, Sae falling into Miya's grip and Nori onto my lap. Sae struggled and screamed. Hate was flowing from her.

"Oh I see. I knew it. That's why you didn't help. You are part of this, all of you! The only one that helped was that new girl and she just got here! You know it, right? This is all her fault. Everything was just fine until she came!" Sae was raging with as much passion as physically and mentally possible. I was fearful for my life and I wasn't even her target. Her target, Nori, was struggling to catch her breath and was rubbing neck.

"Shut up. You know that's a lie. Don't bring her into this." With unprecedented authority, Miya shut Sae down. Miya seemed somewhat different from her usual self. Darker, more experienced than I had ever imagined.

"W-what happened Nori?" I asked. Nori looked to me and Miya before answering.

"I-I dunno. She just attacked me on my when I was out 'ere doing exercises."

" "Just" attacked you! You're lucky I didn't have a knife or a weapon or I would have "just" killed you, trash!"

"What's going on, Sae…?" I impulsively asked Sae. After asking it did I realise I didn't want the answer.

It was too late though. Miya acted like she already knew.

"It's Hiro… She's dead because of that blue haired bitch!"

…

Another joke…? There have been too many of these dry jokes lately; it's starting to get annoying.

No, this situation is just too real. There was no way this was a joke.

Then…

Hiro really is dead?

Nori's eyes widened at Sae's words and she began to shake.

"H-How…?" I could hear her whisper to herself. She was shocked completely to the core. "D-dead…!"

"Yes. Dead! Are you happy, techy! You did this! It's on your hands!" Sae said this laying on her back, completely exhausted. Miya had placed her on the ground and walked into Hiro's room silently. Sae made no indication of moving, just lying there with tears under her glasses.

All those ill thoughts…

All of them…!

Argh…!

How could I!

Miya returned from the room with a knife. She crouched down next to Sae and put it in her hand. At the same time she pushed it to her stomach. I almost had a heart attack watching Miya operate.

"Miya!" she ignored me.

"Sae" she adjusted her face to look into her eyes "If you are looking from someone to blame, blame me. I didn't do enough. I should have known this would happen. But do not blame the innocent with good intentions. She had no idea. If you must kill someone, kill me." I couldn't take it.

"Stop! Sae! Don't! Miya, what are you doing!" It was all I could do. There wasn't enough time for me to act; I couldn't stop her from acting this way, again. Her self-destructive ways…

They'll kill me before they kill her!

Sae's determination faded and she relinquished her grip on the blade. Miya smiled and stood. There was a spot of blood where she held the knife, but no wound.

"Miya, your shirt!" I cried. It fell on deaf ears.

"Yuno, come here. I've a special job for you." Miya beckoned me like she had never done before. Miya walked in to the room and retrieved Hiro's art book and handed it to me. She stood at the doorway with a hand outstretched.

"I need you to sketch this entire scene into your mind and onto the paper. Do not doctor anything. We need this done before the Police come looking for someone to blame."

"What? Blame…? Why?" These generic questions kept flowing from my mouth. True intelligence is only measured when placed under stress. Miya was wise before her years.

"Before someone gets blamed for murder. We need to stick together in this time of crisis." Miya's hand remained outstretched, waiting for me to take it.

This whole situation is insane.

I looked around and I swear I saw the word "adulthood" on the frame of the door.

After a few breathes I decided to do as asked. I acted like a sheep because I was naïve and the situation was insane and I had no idea what to do and I just wanted it stop…!

Eventually, I took Miya's hand and we entered the room together.