Title: Artemisia Shepard, War Hero
By: Midnight Unicorn
Disclaimer: Main character semi-mine, others and places are not

Last ficlet that fits into canon. There will be one bonus chapter and then the story will be closed at least until the third game, possibly for good.
Immediately post Arrival DLC.

Shepard waited until the airlock had sealed entirely behind Hackett before turning back to the CIC. She knew Joker was watching her but hoped he had the discretion not to show it. Her hand ached as she gripped the datapad and forced herself to move around the galaxy map no quicker than usual. Even in the elevator her back was straight, her shoulders set, but the datapad began to shake.

The doors slid open and she stepped out before her knees buckled

"Garrus."

The turian jumped and only just kept his tools from tumbling into the main battery, exhaling slowly as he secured them and then turned to glare at EDI. "What?"

"I believe Commander Shepard requires your assistance."

He crawled out from under the control panel. "What do you mean? Where is she?"

"Outside her quarters. She fell."

"Fell?" But Garrus didn't wait for an explanation, striding down the corridor and leaping into the elevator. The doors hadn't opened all the way when he heard the click of a pistol and reached for his own instinctively, fearing some sort of infiltration and worse. In the same moment, Shepard realized who had arrived and shifted the barrel so it pointed up and not at him. Letting his hand fall, Garrus blinked, bewildered at the state she was in. She had seemed fine not ten minutes before when she left the medical lab with Admiral Hackett.

They stared at each other awkwardly for several seconds and then Shepard forced an uneven smile to contort her mouth, waving her pistol by her head. "This is what happens when my brave face gets broken," she rasped, pulling her knees up defensively. "What are you doing here?"

Garrus opened his mouth and his mandibles fluttered madly as a dozen questions flew through his mind but died before being voiced. Then he swallowed and held out a hand. "Helping you up." She stared at his fingers in silence as though transfixed and then grasped them with her free hand and let him pull her to her feet. He glanced down at the pistol and then at her blotchy face. "Do you still need that?"

She also looked down at the weapon, raised it slightly and paused, then holstered it. Garrus didn't realize he'd been holding his breath until she did. "I'm just…so…addled, I hardly know what's up and down anymore," she murmured, gaze still down cast.

Garrus touched her cheek, feeling the damp clamminess of her skin, drawing her eyes to his face. "You need to rest," he said quietly. She did not resist when he took her arm and guided her into the cabin, although she went to the bed when he meant to seat her on the couch.

Without hesitation he knelt to take off her boots, which she didn't seem to realize until he was almost done. "Thank you. Garrus, what did you do to murderers on Omega?"

He sat back on his heels, weighing his answer and watching her face closely. "A clean shot in the head if I could help it. Why?"

Shepard shook her head and closed her eyes. "Just wondering. Will you come to bed with me?"

Garrus stood and gripped her face so she couldn't turn away from him. "Shepard, open your eyes." For a moment she didn't, and her fingers wrapped tightly around his wrists as though she were considering fighting. Then her eyelids slowly rose and her dazed violet gaze was trapped by his dark eyed scrutiny. "I will do anything you need me to, no matter what." His hands slid down to her shoulders and he pulled her back up, holding her close and wishing for the first time in his life that he had warm and supple flesh to comfort her with. She had released his wrists and her arms hung at her sides. "I know you do what is necessary." Her eyes were a little clearer but still blood shot and tormented. "I will not shoot you in the head."

She nodded slightly, gaze drifting again. "I know you won't. But do you realize what I've done?"

"I know you made the decision no one else could, what had to be done to stop the Reapers." He felt the tremors she fought to suppress and held her tighter.

"Delayed." A short, bitter chuckle spilled from her lips. "Delayed the Reapers. The only way to stop them would be to destroy every Mass Relay, and then we might as well let them come, because doing that would kill us all anyway."

"Shepard, you need to sleep. You have to give yourself time to recover." Garrus had never known her to be so compliant to being moved around as he sat her on the bed again. She scooted back towards the center but didn't lay down; he kept his seat on the edge.

"Is there even a word for that? It's bigger than murder, but not genocide." She smirked humorlessly, picking at the hem of her top. "A tiny blessing. What about it, Garrus? What would you call it? What would a turian word be for that?"

"Shepard, they would have been slaughtered by the Reapers if you—"

"I know that," she snapped. "But what kind of a world is it that killing three hundred and five thousand people is the right thing to do? In what galaxy is that heroic?"

Garrus twisted to grip her hands and free them from their entanglement with her hair before she ripped it out. "I don't know, Shepard." Her passion and anger vanished and she visibly deflated with slumped shoulders and a hanging head. "I'm sorry. It's…the universe isn't black and white, but I guess gray can get pretty dark." She had sunk into a brooding silence and helpless confusion frustrated the turian as he scrambled for the right thing to say. She was the one gifted with inspiring words, not him. "Don't you…I've heard a human saying about darkness before dawn. Sounds to me like that's where you are now. You have to remember there's a reason we're doing this."

He wasn't entirely sure she heard him until she moved her lips soundlessly, and then cleared her throat to speak. "The darkest hour is just before the dawn. Thomas Fuller." Now she stretched out on the bed, folding her hands on her stomach. Garrus waited to see if she was going to continue and then lay beside her, pressing his mouth to her temple and curling an arm around her waist. He didn't say more; there was nothing he could do for her but hold her while she wept.

To PROphecy999, Drizzit101 and Zero612 a thank you for the favs and alerts. I'm sorry I don't have more to serve them at this time.

Voltagelisa, I've always been under the impression Joker got a lot of attention, but thank you for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

RevealedGrace, I appreciate the review and that you approved my interpretation with Joker.

Just one more bonus chapter and after that a steamy ficlet that I'll post separately so I don't have to up the rating. Thank you to those who stuck with me!