Chapter 3: FINAL CHAPTER
(A.N.: Well, here's the final chapter! REALLY hope it was good and made you laugh! If so, you'll like the next one! Not giving you any clues, but I will tell you they'll be a couple!)
Later that afternoon… They were in the car, Ren driving like a maniac. "Duh, where're we goin', Ren?" "Ah! We're here at last!" Stimpy gulped and began to shake uncontrollably. "Th-the vet? REN, I DON'T WANNA BE NEUTERED! PLEASE!" "Huh? Oh, sorry, I was pointing to that place." "Ur-ol- o-gest. You're all a just? What are we all just, Ren?" He asked, shrugging. "No, styoopid! Urologist! It means we're gonna feex yer leetle problem!" "What, that rash on my butt?" Ren smacked his forehead and dragged it down his face. "I mean the bedwetting! Eet's gotta stop!" They got out of the car. "Duh, gosh, Ren, I'm awful flattered you care so much about my health!" "Pfft! Are you nuts? I don't geeve a crap about'cher health! I just don't anyone finding out I sleep weeth a bed wetter who makes me angry enough to keep missing my sexual eenduendos! I couldn't care less about you going into kidney failure!" Tears filled Stimpy's eyes. "But I don't wanna humiliate you or anyth-" "SHUTTUP! I don't wanna hear anything out of your leeps until you have a cure!" Stimpy walked into the building without another word or smile. They were now in the waiting room. There was a woman and her crying baby standing in front of the counter signing in. The secretary got angry with the baby's crying and threw it like someone would do in Invader Zim. When the woman ran to get her baby, Stimpy stood up. "And where the hell do you theenk you're going?" Ren questioned, not looking up from his magazine. "Signing in," Stimpy answered, still without emotion. "Oh-ho-ho no! I'll be doing that! You can't even make a freakin' sandwich!" Without another remark or question, Stimpy sat down. When Ren wasn't looking Stimpy blinked back more tears. After Ren signed in, He looked back at his emotionless friend and sat next to him. "Look, Steempy, I deedn't really mean what I said-" "Stimpson J. Cat?" A nurse poked her head out the door. "Dr. Cobb will see you now." Stimpy got up and walked with the nurse. Ren smiled optimistically. "Hey, good luck, pal!" But the door had already shut. Ren sighed and looked as if he was about ready to cry himself. "There you are, darling. Sit here. The doctor'll be here in a minute." She wrote something on a piece of paper and gave it to him "Um… what's this?" "My number." She winked, and before she walked out she said, "Call me." Stimpy twiddled his thumbs while he waited, too innocent to know what had just happened. Finally, the doctor came in. "Wilbur Cobb?" "That's my name, don't over-wear it. Heh heh heh." He put on some rubber gloves. "Okay, missy, when was your last menstrual cycle?" "Oh, Doctor, I've tried every remedy I know to stop my bed wetting! Nasal spray, pull ups, alarms! Nothing's working!" He cried, completely ignoring that statement. "Well, sweetie, that's all I know. But take these birth control pills to control that wild and crazy uterus." He handed him a prescription. "Shouldn't you prescribe that to my local pharmacy?" "Nah. I'm too busy." Stimpy raised an eyebrow. "But that's illegal-" "If I can make a suggestion, I'll say not to let anyone know or else the buffaloes are gonna hire Katy Perry to stare at you through a telescope! Buh-bye now!" "But-but-" Wilbur Cobb had already left. Stimpy walked out into the waiting room. "Well?" Ren said, trying to be friendly. " "Nothing. Sign me out." As they left the building, Stimpy walked so fast Ren had a difficult time keeping up with him. "Wait up, buddy!" He called. "Why're you walking so queekly?" "Because I'm walking home, Ren." "Look, I'm sor-" Stimpy had already started running. "Man, I really suck weeth timing! Gotta work on that." For the rest of the day, Stimpy was completely deadpan up until he was ready to go to bed. "I can't do thees!" Ren suddenly burst into tears. "Ren, what's wrong?" Stimpy rushed out of the bathroom. He hopped onto the bed and hugged Ren, patting his back frantically to calm him. "I-I can't stand to see you like thees, chum!" (2 Stupid Dogs reference!) "Look, Steempy, I have a confession to make. I've been wetting the bed! Eet's my enuresis that's back, not yours!" He calmed down a little bit and backed away from Stimpy. "You can make me sleep een the yard now. I don't blame the fact that you're ashamed. Go ahead and laugh." "Ren, I'm surprised at you!" Stimpy put his hands on his hips. "I'd never make fun of you! And that explains why I keep waking up on the opposite side of the bed. Anyway, it's nothing to be ashamed of!" Ren wiped his nose with his sleeve and sniffled. "Really?" "Of course! And I won't tell anybody." Ren smiled and wiped a tear. "Well, actually, eet was you the first time. So… we both have en-en-" "Enuresis." Stimpy smiled and hugged him again. "We both dealt with it three years ago, and we can handle it again!" "I'm so sorry about the way I treated you! I feel awful! I just deedn't want you to know eet was me. I thought you wouldn't respect me anymore, but now I'm thrilled you don't!" "Of course not! And I forgive you." He handed him a container. "We'll start you off with some nasal spray." "Thanks, pal!" He sprayed. "Wait- why ees thees container already opened? And already covered eend snot and cat hair?" He began to gag. "Ees thees the same nasal spray you used the other night?" "It sure is." Stimpy said triumphantly. "AGH! YOU DISGUSTING, BLOATED, STYOOPID EEDIOT!" He slapped him so hard that his body twisted like in the episode The Boy who Cried Rat. "Aw, I love you too, pal!" Ren projectile vomited everywhere. "What a pal!" Stimpy sighed dreamily.