Here's another!
Own nothing.
Teacher: In fact, every time you hit your head a couple of your brain cells die.
*Alex hits Tom's head*
Alex: There goes one.
*Alex hits Tom's head*
Alex: And another.
*Alex hits Tom's head*
Alex: And another.
*Alex hits Tom's head*
Alex: And another.
*Alex hits Tom's head*
Alex: And another.
*Alex hits Tom's head*
Alex: And another.
*Alex hits Tom's head*
Alex: And another.
*Alex hits Tom's head*
Alex: And another.
*Alex hits Tom's head*
Alex: And another.
Teacher: Alex Rider, what are you doing?
Alex: Just seeing how many brain cells Tom had, miss.
Tom: Hehe.. I is dumb now.
Teacher: …
Teacher: Alex, I'd have thought you'd know better than to deprive Mr Harris from his precious brain cells, as it is painfully obvious that he has so few.
Tom: Ouch…That hurt here… *points to heart* I thought we had something special!
Teacher: You also thought I was pregnant on one occasion.
Tom: Now that was not my own fault. You were a bit bigger than normal that day and clutching your stomach.
Alex: Tom, shut up now.
Teacher: Listen to your friend. He has brain cells.
Tom: Hey! It's his fault I've got none!
Teacher: Mr Harris, be quiet or you get a detention.
Tom: Alex started it!
Alex: He also has enough sense to exclude himself from the conversation.
Teacher: Alex, please influence Tom.
Alex: I've tried… Believe me I've tried… I failed miserably.
Jamie: So… Who wants to replay the contest?
Matt: You just want to win.
Jamie: …
Jamie: Isn't that why most people participate in these stupid things?
Matt: …
Matt: Shut up.
Scott: Ready to lose again?
Matt: Nope.
Jamie: Nup.
[...]
Scarlett: The school excluded me from the play and from hockey for a whole month, and the tennis courts are still shit! And the school said I need an extra-curricular activity too!
Richard: What are you going to do then?
Scarlett: Well… I was going to give cheerleading a try….
Pedro: Cheerleading?
Scarlett: Yes…
Fred: I know someone who'd like to see that.
George: Right, Won-Won?
Ron: Shut up…
Harry: So when are you going to actually do something we can see?
Scarlett: I'll get back to you on that.
George: Make sure Wonnie gets a ticket!
Ron: …
[...]
*Scarlett cheerleading with a bunch of others*
Jamie *To Matt and Scott*: Contest here?
Scott: Perfect.
Matt: So, tenner?
Scott: Twenty.
Matt: …
Jamie: Oooh, someone's cocky today.
Scott: Well…
Matt: Deal.
Jamie: Whaa? Twenty? Each?
Scott: Yes…
Jamie: Aww hell. Fine.
*Shake*
Ron: Why is that girl dancing on her own?
Harry: I don't know…
Ginny: …What's she singing?
Girl (in distance): A, B, C, D
That's what my school teaches me
Don't go to class
But I've got a great arse
And bloody hell have you seen my knee?
Ron: …
Pedro: …
Richard: What the fuck?
Matt *To Jamie*: Not bad, not bad…
Scott: Eh… What's with the rhyme?
Jamie: …I'm not good with poems…
Matt: You don't say…
[...]
*Cheerleaders on break*
*Scarlett rejoins friends*
Scarlett *breathless and excited*: Ron! Don't you love it?
Ron *slightly scared*: Love what?
Scarlett: My dancing! I practised specially.
Ron: Oh no, I can tell. Um, you're brilliant.
Fred: ...That's what she said.
George: I was going to say that…
Fred: Yes, but I beat you to it.
Hermione: Two idiots share but a thought between them.
George: Hermione…
Fred: Are you feeling alright?
George: 'Cause we could have sworn-
Fred: -You just told a joke.
Hermione: …
Scarlett *breathless and flirty*: So Ron, do you like the game?
Ron: Yeah, um, it's good…
Scarlett: And my new outfit? *twirls*
Ron: Um, yeah, you look amazing…
Scarlett *blushing* Oh thank you! I loved it too!
Ron: …Good…
Scarlett: Oh no, I've got to go back. Hey, cheer for me, right Ronnie?
Ron: …Right…
*Scarlett goes*
Ron: …Did she just call me Ronnie?
*Fred and George laugh*
*aside*
Matt: Scott, seriously, what is it with you and meddling with Scarlett and Ron?
Scott: Ron can't be with Ginny, they're related.
Jamie: And what about Hermione?
Scott: She'd love it.
Matt: …Fair enough…
[...]
*Cheerleaders in human pyramid*
*Cheerleaders move to a 3D W*
* " " 3D I*
* " " 3D L*
* " " 3D D"
* " " 3D C*
* " " 3D A*
* " " 3D T*
* " " 3D S*
Richard: That's bloody good!
Ron: Wow…
Ginny: How the hell are they doing that without magic?
Matt *whistles quietly*
Hermione: Am I the only one who's realised that the team aren't called the wildcats?
Matt *blinks*
*Cheerleaders fall*
Scott *to Matt*: You lose.
Jamie *sings*: Fail!
Matt: Fine… Here Jamie, £20.
Scott: Hey, who says he's won?
Matt: Me.
Jamie: Me.
Scott: …
*Scott hands £20 note over*
Scott: So seriously, you're scared of a man who couldn't kill a baby?
Harry: …
Ron: …
Hermione: …
Fred & George: …
Ginny: …
George: It does seem slightly stupid now…
Alex: Yeah, I think I would be more scared of constipation…
Harry: I don't know how to come back to that…
Jamie: …And the magics are out of the contest!
Harry: …
Fred: Hey Remus! Birthday today, right?
Lupin: Yes… How or why did you remember?
George: It's because we're lovely people.
Lupin: …
Lupin: No, seriously.
Fred: We wrote it in our calendar.
*Holds up calendar – Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes presents… the Crafty Calendar! If you've forgotten something, it'll find you! (Side effects may include broken bones, vomiting, loss of organs, hairloss, nosebleeds)*
George: Anyway, after a couple of broken noses and concussions-
Fred: -George, we've got to put them on the side effects list too.
George: Oh yeah… forgot about them…
Fred: Well after all of that, we realised it was in fact your birthday today.
George: And we got you a present.
*George holds up flea collar*
Fred: 'Cause you can never be too careful.
George: And mum will kill you if you get fleas everywhere.
Lupin: …
Lupin: Go.
George: No Remus, that's the wrong way around. It's the human who gives the orders.
Fred: Like stay.
Lupin: …
George: Ooh look, you're good.
Fred: …That's what she said. Oh, and on that note…
*Picks up box of puppies*
Fred: Seems like you've had a good night out, mate.
Lupin: Go before I kill you.
George: Bad Remus.
Fred: Hey! Don't you threaten people around your children!
Lupin: They're not my kids- puppies, whatever!
Ginny: You have kids, Remus?
Lupin: NO I BLOODY WELL DON'T HAVE KIDS!
Ginny: Hey, chillax, just asking…
Fred: Remus, I think someone needs a bit of N-E-U-T-E-R-I-N-G.
George: Yep. We don't want any more of these little treasures running about. What would Tonks say?
Lupin: Oh my God! Shut up!
Fred: Ooh George, I think it's his time of the month.
Lupin: …
Lupin: I have new found respect for your mother.
[Pedro is writing something]:
*Jamie enters*
Jamie: Hey, what's this?
Pedro: No Scott, don't touch that!
Jamie: …
Jamie: I'm Jamie.
Pedro: …
Pedro: No Jamie, don't touch that!
Jamie: Why?
Pedro: It doesn't matter.
Jamie: Oooh, Pedro, what is it?
Pedro: …
Pedro: Jamie, go away now.
Jamie: Not until you tell me what it is.
Pedro: No.
Jamie: Then get used to me being in your life for a long time.
Pedro: …
*Harry runs in*
Harry: Hey guys!
Jamie: Hey, can I try your wand?
Harry: …if you must…
*Jamie flicks it*
*Sparks fly*
*Sparks light Pedro's written-on paper*
*Metaphorical sparks fly*
*Pedro rants in Spanish*
Jamie *to Harry*: What are the chances that he's thanking me?
Harry: Below zero.
Pedro: Bastard!
Jamie: Well, I understood that… and it's probably true…
Pedro: Yes, now go away!
Jamie: Sorry, sorry…
Feedback?
Until the next,
Cait
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