Disclaimer: I own zilch. Honestly. Nothing is mine. I do not tell a lie. Neither is this sarcasm.
The second one (most funny in my opinion) is not actually mine. The humorous line was actually said by my brother's very witty friend.
You may have heard, or then again, you may have not. Or you may or may not have experienced it yourself. But yes, recently I can't review-reply, I'm sorry. So… (and sorry if the reply actually did come through xD)
Lonely Traveller: Haha, ta xD I will. I know a few people who would actually kill me…
xjessix kisses hah hah moo moo: Thanks for both reviews xD. Yeah… I was thinking something like the size of the whirlpool the kraken makes in Pirates o the Caribbean… xD And that is kinda now my trademark thing. xD
[Alex's funeral]:
Jack *to MI6*: Lousy bastards! I blame you!
Mrs Jones: We're sorry for your loss. Alex was a great asset to our country. Peppermint?
Jack: ...
Jack: Go.
Scorpia person: I'm annoyed that it wasn't us who killed him...
Snakehead: Yup. Embarrassing, really.
Big Circle: I know! I mean, there's, like, eight criminal organisations out to kill him and he dies from swine flu.
New psycho maniac: I'll be fine. No embarrassment for me!
Snakehead: ...
Scorpia: ...
Big Circle: ...
Snakehead: There'll be another irritating kid.
Scorpia: ...with weirdly good skills.
Big Circle: And next to no social life.
Scorpia: How does that help?
Big Circle: Not good for the ol' self esteem. All the more likely the next'll top himself.
Snakehead: They'll probably make more though.
Scorpia: Parents'll have to be going at it like rabbits...
Big Circle: Yeah, thanks for that...
Snakehead: I figured from different parents...
Psycho maniac: Kill all adults in Britain.
Snakehead: ...
Scorpia: ...
Big Circle: ...
Scorpia: Bit violent...
Maniac: Well I am an evil psycho maniac...Kinda comes with the territory.
Scorpia: Oh to be young, ruthless and full of energy…
Scorpia: Am I old?
Big Circle: What?
Snakehead: …
Snakehead: No, of course not.
Scorpia: I feel old…
Snakehead: …
Big Circle: …
*George nudges Alex*
George: So, you like her?
Alex: Well, she's good-looking I guess.
Fred: Hey, she's good-looking, what more do you need?
George: She does need a sense of humour.
Fred: Not for him.
Alex: Sense of humour would be good, but I want a girl who knows the difference between a proton and a crouton.
Fred: …
George: …
Fred: Proton?
George: Crouton?
Alex: *sigh*
[Harry and Matt fight]:
*Chair flies to Harry's head*
Harry: IMPENDIMENTA!
*Chair explodes*
Matt: HEY! I paid for that bloody chair!
Harry: Hah!
*Knife flies at Harry*
Harry: Flipendo!
*Knife lies at Matt*
Matt: That's a bit violent.
*Knife flies into wall*
Harry: You're the one who threw it.
Matt: Yeah, yeah.
Harry: ORCHIDEIUS!
*Sudden bouquet of flowers appear*
Matt: Why, Harry, thank you!
Harry: Shit… wrong spell…
Matt: Although I do actually prefer roses to orchids…
Harry: Roses? Very macho.
Matt: …
Matt: Shut up.
Harry: Tarantallegra!
*Matt starts to dance*
*Scarlett comes in*
Scarlett: Matt?
Matt: Hey Scarl…
Scarlett: Nice dancing…
Matt: Harry's making me do it!
*Harry's wand explodes*
Harry: …
Ron: Too far mate, too far.
Harry: I'm going to kill you.
Matt: …With…?
Harry: …
Harry: Ron, where did we put the elder wand?
Matt: …
Matt: Oh fuck.
*Richard shows up with a bag*
Scott: Nice bag… You off out for a night with the girls?
Richard: …
Richard: It's a man bag…
Jamie: And what's that when it's at home?
Richard: A bag for men.
Scott: Uhuh… What's inside? Purse, mobile, lippy?
Richard: …
Matt: It's in the same league as man-scara and guy-liner and shit.
Jamie: You seem to know a lot about it…
Matt: …
Matt: It's Russel Brand you should talk to
Richard: Anyway, I'm out with my friends.
Jamie: A spot of shopping and then dinner?
Richard: …
Richard: No.
Scott: What are you doing then?
Richard: Seeing a football game and then… well, then we're getting something to eat I 'spose…
Scott: Isn't that, well, kinda gay? Watching big sweaty men run after a ball and then out to eat with other men?
Richard: …
Richard: …No…
Matt: Scott, it's a man-date.
Hermione: You mean a command or authorization to act in a particular way on a public issue given by the electorate to its representative?
Matt: …
Matt: No… I meant a social… meeting or something between a group of straight men…
Hermione: Oh.
Richard: I'm not gay and now give me back my bag.
Jamie: Your hand-bag?
Richard: Yes, my hand- No! My man bag! Give it back or I'll tell Chaos and Voldy where you all are.
Jamie: …
Matt: …
Scott: …
Hermione: …
Jamie: Spoilsport.
[Spying on the bad guys]
Jamie *points*: Shit man! Something's moving!
*Alex directs binoculars where Jamie points*
Alex: Yes, that's bird.
Jamie: ...Oh…Not even like the giant hummingbird?
Alex: A pathetic little pigeon.
Scarlett: Bless.
Jamie: It could have been something…
Matt *points*: Alex, people.
Alex *moves binoculars*: Ooh, yes. Real homo sapiens this time. Hang on, they might be shapes-shifters…
Matt: Might?
Alex: They are.
Scarlett: Hey, what are they saying?
Alex: Scarlett honey, these are binoculars. They don't work on ears.
Scarlett: …
Ginny: My mum says you learn a new thing every day.
Alex: How dumb are you starting off?
Ginny: You're a bit sarcastic, aren't you.
Alex: No. Everything I say is dripping with sincerity.
Ginny: Was that sarcasm?
Alex: …
Alex *sighs*: Yes, that was.
*Ginny comes in with low cut top and short skirt*
Fred: Ginny, we are your brothers. Please wear a jumper and put something on below your waist.
Ginny: I do have a skirt on, and tights.
George: That is not a skirt. That's like, a belt or something.
Ginny: You wouldn't be complaining if you saw Angelina like this.
Fred: Yes, but that's Angelina and she's hot and you're my sister.
Ginny: Hey!
Charlie: Fred, George, in the least disturbing way possible, Ginny is actually quite good-looking.
Ginny: Thank you, Charlie.
Fred: This is coming from the guy whose only out of family female attention comes from dragons.
Charlie: Hey! I have a very healthy sex life I'll have you know.
Ron: Too much information there.
Ginny: You know, if you've got it, flaunt it.
Fred: …And then you regret it when the paedophiles come.
*George grins*
George: Literally.
Bill: Slightly inappropriate around our little sister, don't you think.
Ginny: I am seventeen, you know.
Fred: Count up to seventeen and then we'll believe you.
Ginny: …
Oh, go orrrrn, review?
Until the next,
Cait
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