Secret Lostie: Ashley Macintosh
Chapter 1: The "Cool" Group
As people ran around frantically I sat there and took in the horror. I just can't believe this is happening to me, again. Last time it took two months for the search team to find us. Last time it was not as grotesque as this, this is unbelievable! I knew I shouldn't have boarded another plane after my first crash, but I thought, what's the possibility of another plane crashing? Last time I, we, were lucky, this time, I'm not so sure. I get weird vibes from this place, as if there is someone watching us, as if we are not alone.
I don't like it one bit, this Jack guy making all the shots just because he's a doctor. I WAS a doctor too you know, I just don't believe I should get involved and be the hero. It's like high school, everyone's forming little cliques, and although we are all working together, it still divides us. Sure we need leaders, and sure we need groups, but I don't think we should keep secrets from each other and that's exactly what's been going on. So far there has been two hikes and they all involved the, what we like to call in our group, "cool" group. It consists of Jack, of course, Kate, Sayid, Claire, Boone, Charlie, that stuck up bitch Shannon, and somehow, that out of place fat kid, Hurley. After the hikes they all return to camp and talk amongst themselves, don't inform us of anything that is going on, and so was the case until Steve brought out suspicion. Steve is part of our group, along with Scott, Artz, Patricia, Joey, Zach, and, of course, I. Sure I just slammed down on groups but we actually inform others about what we find.
This cool group has really gotten to all of us. We all signed a petition that whatever we find we tell ourselves and all the other groups besides the cool group. Like just the other day, I saw a bird fly down into the water. I had told someone else and they informed someone else, and so she, Barbara, took off into the water to try and catch this bird. Unexpectedly, however, the currents got wild and she could no longer control herself and therefore began to scream for help. We all looked, like idiots, while Boone tried to go and rescue her, when he ran out of breathe Jack was then out there a rescate. Although Jack saved Boone, our poor girl was lost at sea. He let her get lost at sea since she was not part of the "cool" group. It triggered me with anger. I knew I had to break up this group one way or another. Our poor Joanna.
It was a fine morning, the aroma of the neighbor's freshed baked bread swifted in from my window, and filled my lungs with hunger. As a matter of fact I was starving. I woke up alone, late into the midday, with my kids not here I had no reason to get up. I got up and went to the rest room to do the morning rituals, you know brush your teeth and what not. After doing so, I scrammed into the kitchen and opened the kitchen cabinet looking for some munchies but not finding any. I heard the mail come by and so I stepped outside to get them. While walking back in, the neighbor offered some slices of her bread with some homemade jelly and churned butter. Okay, perhaps I over exaggerated a bit, but she was a do-it-yourself type of lady. Helen was her name? I don't recall.
Flipping through the mail, it bothered me so to see Ashley Macintosh, as in my married name, as in Mrs. Macintosh, when it was most certainly now Ms. Displeased to see it was only bills and more bills, I decided not to open any, any of course besides the one that caught my eye, the one that said, 'Aching for a vaca?' Swiftly opening it, it read: 'Join Oceanic Airlines as we give you a FREE trip for 4 to visit the land from down under, Australia! All you have to do is submit the attached card below with your name and why you think you deserve a break and we will choose the winner!' with the small print reading no purchase necessary. Perhaps a getaway would be great for me and my kids, although I would have preferred a nicer place, perhaps the Bahamas, Hawaii, Fiji, any small island instead of big ol' Australia, a getaway is a getaway. With nothing to lose I filled out the card and decided to mail it back the next day.
Just then, after licking both the stamp and the envelope, the doorbell rang. Unsure of whom it might be, I was in no rush to answer it. That quickly changed when I heard, "Babe hurries up, and these bags are heavy!" I jolted to the door as my 'sugar' dropped the bags and we hugged and kissed. I then heard a "Ewwww, mom that is disgusting! I don't want to see that." But it sure as hell wasn't my kid.
So they've informed us, about the transmission, about the bears, about the possibilities of us not getting out of this island, since no one seems to know where we are located. Please no phones while the flight is on board. Shit I knew I should of never listened, maybe then I could have checked the GPS status on my phone, maybe then I could have known from the beginning something was up. Maybe then none of this would have happened. Perhaps my phone signal could have manipulated the plane to stay in the freaking air. Speaking of planes, who's ever heard of Oceanic Airlines!? Why not American, why not United? Why Oceanic?
So Scott and Steve have been playing with the cool group. To see if they really know us by looks or just by names. What do you know, they failed. They don't care about us. Nothing about us. We're like the blurred out faces in hit TV shows that just walk around and do nothing but pick their nose and scratch their asses all day. I can see it now, Kate, Ms. Homecoming and Prom Queen 4 yrs straight. Jack, The MVP quarterback player who was also in all honors classes. Charlie, he's from Driveshaft, who cares what he was in before, and no one cares what he does after, as long as the fans get their encore of YouAllEverybody, but since we are talking about high school here, the popular musician, every girl likes a rocker. Claire, the foreign girl who thinks nudity is sweet! Who knows how "natural" those Aussies are. Sayid, the outcast who just so happened to be rich cause daddy struck gold with his dozen old mine fields. Thus making him popular. Locke, the best football coach anyone can find, look as his legs, those calves, he diff. uses those legs a lot. Shannon and Boone, obviously dating, both attractive, maybe models? If not Shannon would be the, I'm a poor girl who sells myself short by selling my body, while Boone, just uses his eyes to stud all the ladies, prob. swarming with STDs. Hurley, of course the nerd that everyone loves. The comedian of the group. That's all that needs to be known. What I don't get is the new addition in the group, Sawyer. Deff. the bully, yet everyone seems to hang around him. Kate seems intrigues by him. I guess every good girl needs a bad boy.
Although they have opened up to us a little bit, and they need have that memorial service for all the victims that died, I'm still, however, planning on what can be done to separate this team. Make em collapse!
Chapter 2: You Are Who You Want To Be
Sunny Florida, spring break, the college years. I loved it! That's where I met Jesse, and incoherently Jessica, too. Although Jessica was more of an awakening to my inner-self, Jesse would go on to be my future husband, and the father of my 2 kids. Poor Jesse hadn't the slightest idea that our little threesome was pleasurable only because of Jessica. I ever do wonder what happened to Jessica. Once the break was over it was time to return to my hometown, and back to dreadful school. Luckily, however, it was my final semester. Journalism here I come! Unluckily, I never got to finish that semester due to that dreadful day. It started off with just a small bit of turbulence, then the engine blew and we were nose diving down over the Gulf of Mexico. I was scared and honestly blamed it on myself and my unholy weekend. Everyone was screaming frantically, of course, as I believe anyone would be. Once the nose hit the water, it took less then a second to reach my section of the plane, the tail section of the plane. There was a bit of a small explosion up ahead, and everyone's screams faded into gasps, which then faded into nothing when the water drowned it all out.
My kids crack me up! Kids now a days, I'm telling ya, nothing like the old times. All up into the gossip, all up into celebrities lives like it matters. All into money like it's the only thing that matters now a days. I'm one to speak. I gave up my news anchor person for a more money paying job. A surgeon. A plastic surgeon to be exact. Did I have a degree? No. Have I had training? No. Was it illegal? Yes. Jesse got me into it. He's a plastic surgeon you see, and I was his aide. He said he would support me, and he did. Until I started watching him close, and soon, his job was my job. I was like a professional. Perfect to the bone! It was like it was my special power. That ended, however, when I did the right procedure on the wrong person. Celebrities I tell ya, big mouths! So I worked on a celeb, who will remain unnamed, and this celebrity went on to tell EVERYONE who she got it done from. When everyone seemed to know who I was, the U.S officials saw I was unlicensed and I was busted. Three years of prison. Some might say hell, but I called it heaven.
So Patricia got angry at me today for telling everyone my bogus story about me being an unlicensed plastic surgeon and going to jail. I see nothing wrong with it though, I mixed a little truth with reality, yes I was in Florida, and yea I did meet my husband there. and yes I did experience my first lesbian experience there, so Pat shouldn't be THAT mad. I'm sure Hurley's story about being a millionaire isn't true, and I'm sure Pats story about helping Mary Kate through her anorexia wasn't entirely true either. Case in point, we all lie at times, why not now, especially when we are stuck with these strangers? We can be who we want to be, because nobody really knows who we are!
Not much more to tell. It's been pretty slow, just gathering materials and what not while the cool group goes out on there many adventures. Hey, at least they feed us.
Ethan approached me today, asking me what I really did as a living. Since I somehow mentioned I was a doctor before, although I don't remember mentioning it. I began to tell him when Hurley approached us and asked us for our names, since he is checking the manifest to see if it adds up. I wonder what's up. Anyways, I was a brain surgeon. Most people, who go through brain surgery for an AVM or brain aneurysm, do so on an emergency basis. So I'm pretty much in a hurry ALL THE TIME. Ethan seemed pretty shock about knowing this and took of. I kept an eye on him-he seemed suspicious- and then found Hurley once more asking him for his name in the woods. Seems like Hurley doesn't have a very good memory. Once Hurley left, Ethan ran into the jungle. I followed behind stealthily and saw him approach Charlie and Claire, then all of a sudden, I collapsed.
Chapter 2: Déjà vu
I woke up under water. Swimming desperately to reach the surface. Where was I? What just happened? I panicked but then decided to leave the questions for later. I needed to reach the surface. I swam towards the light, bodies and debris everywhere, all over the ocean surface, who they were remained unclear as only dark shadowy figures can be seen. This seemed all too familiar. Like its not only happened once, but twice! Once I finally reached the surface I gasped desperately for air, all that could be heard was the sound of silence, my ears rolling as if an avalanche has just gone off. I could see a girl who looked like Shannon standing in the middle of the beach screaming, but I could not hear her. Once the pressure of the water outdid my ears and I regained the sense to hear, I had already reached the land and heard Jack pass around orders. He ran right past me as I laid there bleeding for my head. He didn't care he had to save Rose and Claire and Hurley, anyone from the "cool" group. I then thought to myself how I knew about these people, there names, about the cool group. Boone finally approached me and asked for a pen. I guess I made an awkward gesture cause he asked me again, only this time it sounded more like, "Do you remember Ken?" I blanked out and remembered nothing else.
Kenshi Kim, Ken for short, a patient I once had. He died... that's all I know of him, why was he important?
When I regained conscious once more I found myself inside a cave. Jack was startled to see me awake and ran towards me. He asked me how I was doing and I asked what had happened. He told me I had been out for 2 weeks. Ever since the plane crashed. I was baffled, for I clearly remember Pat and Zach, and Scott and Steve... and Artz. I explained to him all I knew and he told me that no one by those names existed. I then heard, "MOMMY," and turned around to see my kids and my girlfriend standing there. Jack excused himself and I was left there alone with my family. My kids had told me how this bad man tried to kidnap them but their other mommy, known as mom, stopped the bad man. They described to me his rugged look, his beard, his filthy coat, he called himself Mr. Friendly but they told me he wasn't all that friendly. I laughed while holding back my tears and then mom asked my kids if she can have some alone time with mommy. They ran off shouting, "Where's the fat man, where's the fat man!"
Sharon came closer and put her arms around me. Her skin was cold and chappy but she was ever so beautiful. She had told me what had happened, after the crash, how she had landed in the middle of the woods with the kids and how lucky I was for deciding to be a bitch and hunt down Cindy, the stewardess, who refused to give me more vodka. She told me I was one of the "fortunate" ones. I asked her what she meant but she changed the topic, telling me about the sweepstakes we won. I asked what about it, she changed the subject once more, talking about our mailman. I asked what about him, and she offered me a pen. I took it, confused, and she got up. I asked her where she was going and she told me back. I asked her where "back" was and she told me, I need to go back. She told me, when she met Mr. Friendly, he indeed wasn't so friendly. She tried, she really did, she wanted to protect the kids, but she failed. Confused once more I asked what the fuck was going on, to give me answers and not more questions! She said, "You'll see" and turned around. Walking away, my eyes were focused to the bullet wound on the back of her head. She turned her neck and asked, can you help ME with some brain surgery? And then she collapsed.
Chapter 4: And Her Name Is Lola
I woke up, again, but this time I was screaming from the top of my lungs. Pat rushed towards me and asked me what was wrong. Zach then also quickly rushed towards me and held my hand. I must have been trembling for his whole arm was moving. Zach had asked Pat if she could go get me some water and food while he tried to calm me down. I asked for Jack, and Zach looked at me like I was crazy, adding in a, "Like Jack cares about anyone who isn't in the cool group." I laughed for right then and there, knowing that Zach and Pat existed, and also that the cool group was still causing mayhem, was all the signs I needed to inform me I was back to reality.
I began to lose my nerves and became a little less shook up. Had what I just seen already happen or was it all a dream? I told Zach about how I woke up in a cave and Jack was tending to my needs. He told me there, that that was a sign that it was all a dream. I also told him about seeing my Sharon and my two kids, and how it was bitter sweet. Sweet for seeing them and bitter for knowing they aren't okay. I heard my named yelled from across the beach. I turned around to see Pat running. Confused I got up and ran towards her to see what the big deal was.
"I ran into Jack, he says he needs to speak to you."
"And why is that a bad thing?"
"When I mentioned you had awoken, he grabbed a gun."
Just then Jack snuck up behind me, gun pointed to my head and asked, "Why aren't you on the manifest?"
The divorce wasn't so pretty. Jesse tried to take my kids away from me, claiming my sexuality might affect the kids. I told him to fuck off, which only got the judge angrier with me. Although I was certain that wouldn't make a difference, and the fact that I make 30+ k more than he does, in the end Jesse won and took away my two kids. I was allowed a visit twice a week, and a day where they could sleep over. It normally wouldn't be so bad, but since my kids are girls, Jesse also said that my Sharon might try to sexually harass them. Damn Jerk.
And so it was so. Poor bastard lived the rest of his life alone, crying every night about how I could leave him for a woman. Him been gossiped and ridiculed by his "buddies" that he wasn't really a "MAN" and that all I really needed was a real "MAN." He was so depressed, so dark, so lonely; so it came with no shock to me when I realized that he had jumped out of his 30th floor room from which he worked. Now, I wondered, what killed him first, the fall or the impact? Once he was done with, the kids were in my possession once more.
I felt sorry for the man, I really did. I might sound like a bad person, but I'm not.
So anyways, about this manifest. Once I won the sweepstakes, since for some reason proof of the fathers death was not recorded, my kids could not leave the country without their father's permission. Therefore I simply changed my name on the manifest to my middle name, Lola. I then made up the story, that we were going back to meet up with the father, and wala! Like magic.
Jack was touched by my story and felt bad for me, I felt bad for him, wishing his fate would turn out like Jesses. Now where can I find a 30 story tree? With no further questions he left, only to turn back around to inform me that the only reason he was so straightforward was because of Ethan. I told him I understood. Then the Jackass, kept on asking me more questions, about where my kids were. I told him I had the slightest idea for when the plane crash I was to busy hitting on Cindy-which Sharon thought I was bitching at- and so we were separated. He then asked me if he could see a picture of my kids. Like he knew I was just so happened to carry a picture of them on my locket. Damn know-it-alls. So I reached into my pocket, and pulled out a pen. I collapsed.
Chapter 5: Message In A Bottle
I had gotten weak to my knees. The mere sight of the pen, the pen that had gotten into my pocket only in the alternate reality, seemed to have stayed with me in this reality. Zach knew what had happened but Jack and Pat were confused. I told them I was okay and Jack decided now was the time that he left. Pat was the first to ask what was wrong once more when Jack left. I told her the jist of it and she was amazed. Zach came to the conclusion that perhaps I should try and pull apart the pen, to see if maybe a note was inside. I disregarded his idea calling him an idiot. But secretly, I wanted to do so.
Now that I was back to reality, I had to know what had been going on, since I've seemed to miss so much. Pat told me about how Ethan kidnapped Claire and how Charlie had shot Ethan. Claire had her baby, it was a boy, and Locke and Boone have been missing in action for quite awhile. Zach informed me about the relationship between Sayid and Shannon. How sweet, BLAH! Just the mere thought of there kids reminded me of that Arabian song, "If I was a rich girl, nana na na na na nana nana na, I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy giiiiriiriirl Was she Arabian? Zach had also told me about the death of Scott (Steve) I'm not sure which one died, can anyone verify? and about the raft that they were building. Just then Hurley approached me and welcomed me, asking me if I had a letter to give out to loved ones for when Jin, Sawyer, Michael, and Walt reach land.
It was once said that if you threw a bottle into the ocean that the currents would drag it all the way around to the other side of the world. This intrigued me! I was excited to have a little chinita friend. So one day, I decided to write a letter with my name, a welcoming statement, and my address so they could write back to me. I ran to the shore of the ocean and threw with all my might my green bottle into the water. The rapid waves sunk the bottle, and I was sad until I saw it pop out from under the water way over far into the sea. My beautiful gold bottle, glimmering with the light of the sun. After that, I returned home, and day after day after day I waited for the mail man to come by to see if my little Asian friend had written back to me. I was unsuccessful until that ONE day.
I was sooooooooooooooo excited! The day had come! I ripped open the letter and read:
"Dear Ashley,
I have received your message in the bottle and was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy to see it! Me and you, we have a lot in comon! I, to, am 12 lyke you! I also, have Red hair with green eyes! And I also live with my mommy and dady! Maybe, perhaps, we could meet up! I see we live close to each other, you live on 4815 SE 16 Av. Building 23 door number 42, and I live in building 5. door number 30! Maybe you can come over... RIGHT NOW!
Love,
Jennifer"
Although a bit disappointed that my bottle only seemed to travel a distance of 30 yards, I was still happy to have found a new friend. So off I went, without informing my mother, I was always a rebellious little kid, to my new found friend's house. I knocked on the door and a man, around his late 30's, opened the door. I smiled, and he said, "Here for Jessica?" I told him no, Jennifer, and he said, "Of course, that's what I meant." He invited me in and told me to sit down on the couch while he went to go get his daughter. He left, came back and told me she was cleaning her room that he didn't allow friends over unless her room was clean, I thought, What an ass. But of course back then it would have been more like poopoo head So he offered me some Punch while I waited. I humbly accepted. After two minutes, footsteps were heard. He said, there she comes; I looked up only to find another man. I tried to get up but my legs were like Jell-O, wobbly, and unable to stand. They grinned, and when I realized what was going on, I screamed but only a gasp came out. I never looked at men the same way again, not even my father.
So I politely told him that that wouldn't be necessary for everyone I loved was on the plane and are all, currently, missing. Hurley then left. All was peaceful, until Jack, once again approached me, saying, "You're still not on the manifest."
Arzt appeared out of nowhere informing everyone that the raft was on fire. Jack then turned his attention to Arzt and forgot about me for awhile. Giving me time to make my getaway. When Jack turned back around I was gone.
Zach and Pat then thought it was a good idea to ask why I wasn't on the manifest. I promised them I was. They asked me to explain myself but I told them to be quiet, that I heard something, something that sounded like whispers. They got quiet and Zach said he also heard the whispers. Pat pointed to a location and said she believed it came from that direction. We followed it and soon the voices turned from whispers to regular pitch noises.
"Look its Locke and Boone."
It took awhile for my eyes to make out who they were since it was kinda dark, but Zach was right, it was Locke and Boone.
"What are they doing carrying those torches heading into the jungle so late at night?"
A good question indeed, I told Pat that perhaps they were the ones who lit up the raft and whether they did or didn't we needed to follow them to see what was up. And so we did, quietly and stealthily into the jungle, keeping our distance but making sure we didn't lose sight of them.
After a good mile and a half we stopped. Boone and Locke were seen up ahead and when I saw what they saw, my eyes opened wide. I looked at Zach and he must have been amazed also for his eyes widened, too. I tried to look for Pat but she wasn't by my side. I turned around and she was quivering, walking backwards and also talking backwards, looking like a wet dog.
"Tnod hsup eht nottub, nottub bad"
She continued to walk backwards, stumbling on a tree root, she collapsed.
Chapter 6: Death in the Family
"Shit! Hurry up and lift her up Zach, Locke is heading this way."
"She's so heavy!"
"What do you mean she's so heavy! She's an anorexic girl who helped MK out with her anorexia. She can't be heavy!"
"I can't lift her up though, her lower body won't move!"
"That's cause her pants are stuck to the root you idiot! Now lift her up!"
"Alright let's go!"
"We won't make it dragging her along! Hide her in the bushes and let's go!"
"Right."
And so we left, hauling ass. While doing so we heard this roaring noise, the same noise heard the first night on the island. The noise of the monster, correction, monster "le monstre."
"Ash, do you think Pat is alright?"
"I sure hope so."
Once we finally reached the beach we found it deserted, just like we liked it.
"Appears as everyone's at the cave."
"That's good... what do we do about Pat, Ash?"
If you haven't noticed by now, Zach isn't exactly your "typical" male. I don't want to go around telling his business, but let's just say we have something in common.
"Once we are sure that Boone and Locke are back from... wherever they were, we will go pick her up... if she's still there."
"Ash! Don't say such things!"
"I only speak the truth."
And so we waited just us, Arzt, and Scott. We informed them of what happened. And Scott informed us about a plane he saw while hiking. I asked him for the location and so he told me. I told him I will make my trek there tomorrow.
The night was silent, only the sound of the fire flickering could be heard, Oh, and also the daily rituals that Rose makes, crying and praying to God that her husband is still alive. Girls are so weak. I have family here too you know. I don't waste my time praying for them. Not because I don't love them, but if there really is a God and God wanted them dead, then they will be dead. No amount of praying can change that. Once Boone came to take her to the caves, as he always does, we knew it was safe to make our journey back into the jungle. This time we brought along Scott and Arzt.
The hike back was eerie; very dark and very gloomy. I could have sworn there were eyes in the bushes looking at us. Watching our every move. Once we reached our destination we beat around the bush looking for Pat, but she wasn't there. Zach began to panic, saying "Le Monstre" had gotten her. I told him to stop being stupid. Rain drops began to hit my head, one landed on my cheek and I wiped it off, feeling the texture different then that of water, thicker. I rubbed my fingers together and saw the stain of red. I looked at Artz, who was looking at Steve, who was looking at Zach who was looking at Pat, way up on top a tree, laying down, staring right at me. I gasped for air and felt my eyes get watery. I then found myself say, "A death in the family."
Once the plane had crumbled to a thousand pieces, and once I was able to swim to the surface, I found myself hanging on to a piece of debris to keep me afloat; think Kate Winslet in Titanic, with the only difference being I didn't let and didn't want any "Jacks" on my plank. I laid there on the piece of shit and drifted for what seemed forever. After a week out in the water I couldn't take the scorching heat anymore so I decided to end my life, I drank some water to dehydrate myself faster and waited. I became unconscious and began to drown.
When I awoke I found myself surrounded by Mexicans. They all looked at me with amazement and brought me to there humble little pueblo. I asked what happened but none of them spoke English, they did sorta explain to me that their chief speaks English and so I waited to meet their chief. And there it stood, in the middle of the village, the biggest ceramic house anyone has ever seen. I walked in and looked around. It was hard to see with the dim light but I saw a shadowy figure up ahead. He said, "Come in!" And so I did. He sat me down and offered me a feast, during this feast he had told me I was saved by a dolphin. I know, sounds crazy, but it appears as if I'm what Elian Gonzalez was for the Cubans in Miami, only for the Mexicans in Cancun. After the feast, the Chief offered me a place to sleep. I accepted. When I walked into my room I was surprised to see a TV. Laying down I skimmed through the channels and stopped when I saw my picture on TV. I turned up the volume, and heard the reporter say that all 252 passengers on board from Florida to Nevada are considerer dead. I looked at the calendar and saw that only another week had passed. Have my family not put out a search team for me? Surely they cared, right? I had stayed in the pueblo for another week, seeing if perhaps my family would turn up on TV. And day after day I would see the families of other victims but not mine. I was heart broken, I felt unloved.
And the day came when I decided it was time for me to leave. The only problem was, even though I look American, crossing the boarder would still be a difficult task. Especially if I'm considered "Dead." They're gonna think I'm a Fake. I approached the chief to see what I should do. He looked at me weird and told me, "Lola, you are not in Mexico... This is Corpus Christi, Texas." I was relieved but at the same time angry. Why he never informed me of this sooner, made me want to go crazy. He told me that he has been keeping track of my actions, and knew I was upset with my families' actions of not caring for me. He told me he had gotten me a new identification. He told me, "From this day forward, you will be known as Ashley Williams." I told him if it would work and he told me, "Trust me, it will, I'm known as John Smith here in Texas." I laughed and left.
Bringing down the body was a difficult task. We wanted to be gentle, for Pat was a delicate being. Even in death, and in blood, her presence was graceful. We had put her on the ground to take our positions. Me and Scott were going to carry her from her feet, Zach and Arzt from the arms. I bent down to pick her leg up when she gasped for air.
"Pat! Pat! You're alive!"
"Ash... Ley... Locke and Boone..."
"They did this didn't they!"
"They... tried... toooo..."
"They tried to what, Pat, Pat finish please!"
"What do you mean Zach, she is done! Don't you see that Locked and Boone did this to her!?"
"Please Ash, that's not possible."
"And why not Arzt! It is completely possible! Don't you see, outside of this island we don't know anything about anyone, we don't know no truth. For all we know they could have both been serial killers and Pat was just another victim for them. We can't let this go on anymore; we have to take the initiative! We have to take the lead; we have to be in control!"
"Ash, you're speaking like a mad man!"
"No Zach, I'm speaking the truth."
"No Ashley, Pat could of wanted to say anything, she could of been trying to tell us that Locke and Boone tried to save her from 'Le Monstre,' you're just hearing what you want to hear!"
"And do you think Boone would have walked his merry ass to the beach to pick up Rose, after seeing Pat slashed like this! I mean it makes sense! Locke with all those knives, Pat with all these cuts. They're guilty, and I'm getting my revenge."
With no more words to exchange, we picked up Pat and walked back towards the beach. The rain was heavy, and soon, with all our bodies drenched in water, Pat became heavy. Once we reached the beach Zach had asked where we could bury Pat. I told him next to the only person that made sense here, Ethan.
The day has come to separate the "cool" group. Although the bickering between them all plays in our favor, its time WE do something about it. Arzt approached Ms. Herbalist, Sun, if she had any remedies to numb the body, that he was feeling to much pain and that Jack had to fix him but needed to numb his body first so he wouldn't be in more pain. She found it awkward that Jack hadn't asked for the medication himself, but she gave in anyways. She told us to just grind together the leaves and to drain out the sap. Once the sap is contained, mix it with water and the sap will dissolve, leaving a bit of a sweet taste. In a few minutes your whole body would be numb. Our target for the day was Locke, and so after mixing our little Pain-be-gone, we offered it to Locke, who coincidentally said his legs were hurting. Once we saw that the fluid was in his system we decided to call it a day and we went off into the jungle to find the plane of which Scott spoke of.
The journey was long but once we reached it we were all amazed. We scouted it out and were shocked and disgusted to see bones in the plane. We all wondered who it belonged to but our little excavation ended short for we heard voices. We exited the plane and saw Locke and Boone walking our way. Locke tumbled to the floor and Boone asked what happened, but Locke insisted that Boone forget about him for a minute and check out the plane. Hearing this we all hid behind the plane and saw Boone climb the side of the plateau. Once he was inside, something inside me triggered. I began to push against the plane, hoping it will fall, but it was no use for the plane was too heavy.
"Ash! Are you crazy what are you doing!"
"This is our time Zach, this is our time to be in control, to not be pushed around anymore! My initial plane was to deal with just Locke, but now that he's numb, now that he can't move, we can take care of both Locke and Boone."
"Ash, you're crazy, you're talking about seriously hurting a guy!"
"More along the lines of killing, just like they murdered our Pat. Now are you going to help me push this thing or not!"
"We will have no part of this Ash. You're on your own." The gang began to walk away. Leaving me behind.
"FUCK!" With all my anger I pushed against the plane, knowing that a petite girl like me couldn't possible make the plane budge. But it did, it did budge, not just budge, but more like a push, like the plane was on wheels, off the edge of the cliff, it collapsed!
Chapter 7: Two Birds With One Stone
"What is this?"
"They're dove pins."
"Dove what?"
"Here, split them in half. Now I take one and you take one."
"And what does that do?"
"Whenever we are apart, just look at the dove, it will bring you so much closer to me."
"You're a hopeless romantic."
"No I'm not! I'm just hopeless for you."
I believe that was the first night our baby was conceived. I was always a sucker for love. Every since those men "touched" me, I was always a sucker for love. I gave into his arms. I was so happy, and when I awoke, he was gone, my money and all. I thought it a bit weird that we would not only end up on the same flight, but even more, on the same island. Yes I remember him, I remember him well. Although it's clear he doesn't remember me. Sawyer.
Once the small plane collapsed Zach and Co. stopped in their tracks and turned around. Only to see me running towards them. Crying. Balling my eyes out. I... I just killed a man! I couldn't possible live with myself. At the moment it all felt so right, but now... now it hurts. Zach tried to catch me as I ran towards him but the sweat from my body made my arm slip through his grip. I felt ashamed. Like an outcast. I wasn't sure if they would be able to forgive me or not, but I knew I couldn't show my face again.
As soon as I reached camp I gathered my belongings and stormed out of there. Jack approached me; I knew what he was going to say, so I told him to fuck off. I then followed the coast of the beach. Not stopping, never stopping, until I was once again whole with myself. Where this trek will take me is unknown to me. But I have a feeling it will be meaningful.
Slowing down only to catch my breathe, once I was sure I was a good 6 miles away from camp, I stopped. I reached into my backpack only to take a sip of my water. And then off I went again. Or off I was going to go again until I caught eye of a bird flapping its wings. It came from the sea. Why would it come from the sea? If it came from the sea, then that implies that there is land near by. Once the bird got closer, I saw it was a dove. I stumbled and collapsed.
Chapter 8: Genesis
Turning around to see what it was I tripped on, I found a rope leading into the jungle. I then remembered Sayid speaking of such a rope, and thought, if this end leads into the jungle, what is the other end lead to. What is its anchor? I swam into the water, rope in hand, diving deep down to unbury the rope from underneath the ton of sand on top of it. I got a good half mile into the sea when I saw what appeared to be a boat off into the distance. I thought this was it! I thought we were saved, and if I saved everyone, then everyone could forgive me, and so I let go of the rope and waved my arms frantically, trying to get whoever was onboard attention. When I saw the boat heading my way I knew I had succeeded! I was once again happy, I had found myself!
Once the boat reached my location a woman with dreadlocks and shabby clothes helped me on deck. She asked me what I was doing out in the water. I told her we had to go save the rest of the survivors, and she told me all in due time. That only the good ones escape first. I asked her what she meant and she told me to follow her, to see her captain. Something eerie was up.
Walking down the small flight of stairs, I heard a conversation between two people; I recognized one of the voices, and to my surprise, when the doors opened, saw Arzt talking to a man who had his back turned towards me.
"Hello Ash, glad you can join us."
"Arzt... What's going on?"
"We're just discussing the plans."
"What plans?"
"What to do when the raft is left to drift into the ocean. We were lucky, with my persuasion skills, that Walt was able to burn the raft the first time, but now that it's heavily guarded, we aren't sure what to do. So therefore, we came up with a plan to take care of them dimwits when they're out at sea."
"What are you going to do to them?"
"Kill them. Would you care to join?"
"I would never."
"Oh, Ash, I'm offended. You say such words but do the opposite."
"Boone was different. Boone was revenge!"
"Boone wasn't revenge. You knew deep down inside you that no mere human can butcher Pat like she was butchered. You just wanted someone to blame. You just wanted to see someone die. You ARE like us!"
"Who are YOU?!"
Just then, the man with his back facing towards me turned around, revealing his long rugged beard. My stomach turned into million of knots. Even though I never met this man, I knew who he was!
"YOU BASTARD! You killed my Sharon! My kids, where are my kids!?"
"Nice to meet you too. I'm Mr. Friendly, relax, your kids are just fine."
"And my Sharon!"
"Every Sheppard needs their sacrifice."
"Son of a bitch! I won't let you get away with this!"
"Please relax; I'm trying to refrain from using the act of violence."
"You wouldn't dare touch me!"
"Ah, but I've already have. Numerous times. You see my dear. All of this, this is no coincidence."
"What are you talking about!"?
"Here it is, the whole truth. All I need you to do to get this story started is to reach deep into your pocket and pull out that pen of yours, that pen of which Arzt here implanted while you were passed out for that short period of time. Good, now twist it open and what do you see?"
"It's a picture... of a mailman... What does this have to do with anything?"
"Flip it over my dear."
"Kenshi Kim... Ken was my mailman!?"
"And that letter for that sweepstakes, the all expenses paid tripped to Australia, all faux. Planted by us."
"Why was he my patient? Why did he die?"
"Like I've said, every Sheppard needs their sacrifice."
"I won't be your next sacrifice!" I ran towards him, my hand forming a fist, ready to attack, when I felt something hit me from behind. A hit that was very similar, like that of when I was attacked when I followed Ethan. And just like back then, I collapsed.
Chapter 9: Revelations
"You awake? Good, now are you going to be a nice little girl or are we going to have to hurt you some more?"
"Why are you doing this!"?
"You have two options Ashley, and they are: You can cooperate with us and live, if you do so we will return you back to the mainland; or you can't cooperate and we kill you where you sit. Which will it be?"
"I... I'll cooperate."
"I thought you'd choose that answer. Now, here's what we need you to do. Listen."
"Listen!? Listen to what?"
"Ah aa a. No, you can't possible listen when you're talking. Now please. LISTEN. I'm going to tell you a little story. After that, I want to see if you can guess what it relates to. If you guess correctly, you can go home, if you guess incorrectly, well... hopefully you won't. So here it is."
The year was 1836, the temperature outside was freezing but the pain of the birth heated Yolanda and everyone else in the room up. Everyone was delighted. Angus, Yolanda's doctor, took the precious little girl into his arms and walked away from the room. Yolanda was happy and couldn't wait for her baby to return, but she never did and when Yolanda realized the doctor wasn't coming back, it was too late; Angus and the baby were gone.
The baby was taking to a lab, in this lab numerous experiments were performed on the poor premature baby. The doctors there tried everything they could to save the baby, but it was no use.
"Question 1: What is the mother's name?"
"What! Are you serious?"
"Question 1: What..."
"Yolanda, the names fucking Yolanda! What does this have to..."
Once that specimen passed away a new one was called for. This new specimen was also premature, like all the others before her; they were also all female, just like her. But with no luck this baby passed away also. And so it went on until twenty years later when the experiment succeeded! The premature babies' non existent ovaries, at the time, have been medically implanted and the baby survived. This baby was "special." And therefore this baby lived with the Doctor. The doctor took care of the young specimen each and every day and made sure it's body got the nutrition it needed. With the ovaries implanted, just like the doctor predicted, the specimen matured faster then other little girls. By the time she was 10; the specimen looked and acted the way any 30 yr old woman would. When the specimen was 19, in 1875, the doctor stopped looking at the specimen as a specimen and fell in love with his work. And so nine months later, a little girl was born. Healthy as can be. The only problem that little girl had was being born. For she wasn't suppose to exist. For her "parents" were never meant to conceive. For the specimen was meant to stay a specimen and reproduce. For, surely, the results would be catastrophic.
"Question 2: When were you born?"
"November 10, 19... ... ..."
"What's wrong, did you forget?"
"No, I remember... it was 19... ... ..."
"As expected."
Once the rest of the research team heard of the "sin" that the doctor had made, they couldn't let him live anymore. So he was dealt with. The doctor cursed them all, saying that what they themselves did was wrong. That they should of never tampered with the lives of others. That they were going against Gods power. That the specimen would of died in the next ten years so he did what he had to do. That the "fountain of youth" can not exist in a mere person, but in its offspring's, but that those offspring's will be damned by God for prolonging life. That the population of the world will exceed its limit and they will be crop less and poor and that a great depression will take over and stretch throughout the world. This all took place in China.
"Every wondered why China was so populated?"
"Not really."
"Question 3: What is your ethnicity?"
"I'm pure American!"
"HA, how could you be pure American if Americas emigrated from Europe?"
Once the state of China was overpopulated the research team moved they're studies to Korea in 1876. They killed the doctor and cryogenialized the specimen along with the specimen's offspring... The new research team, ran by Dr. Junya Candle, made sure everything was in order. After a fire broke out in the labs, in 1889 they decided to branch out into different regions of the world. Naming themselves different names so no one would become suspicious. The one in Switzerland was named, Conseil Europèen pour la Recgercge Nuclèaire, or CERN for short. Then later one will be built in America named Enron, which was sadly destroyed when too much information was discovered. What they had forgotten to take care of with the outbreak of the fire was the original specimen and the original offspring. In 1920 the original specimen died, leaving behind its twenty year old daughter, who had the mentality and body of a five year old girl. Before the specimen died she told her daughter to never forget her father. That although he did wicked things, in the end, he knew he was wrong and tried to change them but failed due to the fault of others.
"Sound familiar?"
"What does? A wicked person trying to be good?"
"So you know who this relates to?"
"The stories over? It's only 1920; I don't know anyone 85 years old!"
As this girl began to grow, she began to be more and lonelier. With nothing to do, she created an alternate reality. She had so much fun living in the world of pretend. So many years in isolation drove the poor girl insane, and soon she wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't. She awoke one day in a bed. Although a bit confused she was greeted by a woman and a man. They had asked her where she had come from but the girl was unable to answer their questions. Unsure of what to do the couple decided to take care of the little girl. They asked her what her name was and the little girl responded, "Specimen 30O7x." The couple laughed at the little girl's sense of humor and decided to call her Nikki. And so Nikki lived with the couple for years. In 1932, the couple was worried with the little girl's lack of aging and decided to take the girl to a medical facility. On the way to the hospital, Nikki collapsed and entered into her world of pretend. When she woke up again, she was in a different house, with different parents, with a different name.
"I still don't see the point of this. I don't know any woman by the name of Nikki from the 30's."
"You're not listening are you?"
"I'm fucking listening! You're just not making any sense!"
"Question 4: How many years passed between the escape from the lab, to the death of the mother?"
"Twenty-one years?"
"And yet the specimen is only about 5."
Once the lab research team dug up the old articles and files of the original specimen and its offspring, 30 years have passed. With their research being failure after failure they decided to go ahead and look for the offspring, since it stated the offspring wouldn't live pass the age of 30. They needed to find the hidden DNA molecule that slowed down the aging process. Although disastrous in China, they believed that in a sustained Utopia, these specimens could be used for blood, bone marrow, heart transplants, and many more age defying uses. They didn't view these specimens as being humans but mere lab rats. And with this madness etched into their minds the search began.
With every act there is a rebellion. This rebel group thought these experiments were inhumane and that although considered specimens, they were human also! They were outcasted and so soon enough an underground group was unified. Naming themselves after the late doctor, the father and lover of the first specimen and its offspring, they, too, began their search for the offspring.
"Last Question: What is your last name?"
"Macintosh."
"Is it really?"
"It's my married name."
"What's your maiden name?"
"Widmore."
This rebellion group, once they tracked down the offspring, constructed Widmore labs. A place where the offspring could be safe and live its LONG life quietly. And so she did until a spy in the rebel group reported to the Dharma Initiative the whereabouts of the offspring. When they finally infiltrated Widmore Labs and took possession of the offspring they drugged her up and placed her on an island. Here on this island, on this Utopia, this offspring, conceived many other kids forming exactly what WE wanted. The Fountain of Youth.
"Do you see now Ashley! You are the reason for the season! You are the offspring. You are our Nirvana, our hope and we are here to make sure that you and your children stay in place."
"Lies! All lies! It can't be true! I have memories! So many memories!
"Memories you can't even keep in order! You're Ashley now, Lola later, Nikki back then! Don't you see all your memories are alternate realities! None of them are true. The life you thought you had never existed. We've had control of you for way to long. Your actual memories of when you WERE a little girl are forgotten or mixed up. To make matters worse, it seems to have passed on to your offspring's. They all seem to have flashbacks now and then, this alternate reality that doesn't exist. I don't know why they do so."
"It's because they're real, because it keeps us sane, it keeps us feeling wanted."
"But you are wanted, not for who you are, but what you contain."
"We are not tools! We are people too!"
"Your all tools, specimens, you can't compare yourselves to us! Don't you find it funny that the only rocker child you have has a hit single called, 'Youalleverybody?' Why can't you accept the truth?"
"Because it can't be true, I only have two kids, and their both my little girls."
"Don't cry, it will be all right, like I said, cooperate and we will take you back to the mainland."
"I have cooperated! This means I'm free! This means I can go back home!"
"A promise is a promise."
"But why take me home? Why if you just told me everything was fake? Aren't you afraid I might tell people!?"
"As if they'd believe you."
"I won't tell anyone! I'll keep my sanity! Just give me my kids and let me go home!"
"That wasn't the deal. I said you can return to the mainland not them. We still need them. Those two little girls will be your replacement. Your reward for your cooperation for the last 35 yrs here is your ticket to the real world where you can enjoy the rest of your 1000 yrs."
"My replacements?"
"Yes, it is the reason we kidnap all the kids on the island. Once we figured out that the DNA doesn't pass on generation to generation, we decided to experiment and solidate the one's that do. The "good" ones."
"I won't live with out my two daughters! I want my two daughters!"
"Na ah a, you're not cooperating!"
"I don't give a shit about cooperation! I want my daughter! I want Julia! Where's Julia!?"
"Oh, I see your Jodie Foster personality was released!"
"Stop laughing, this isn't funny!"
"Your right it's not, it's actually quite tragic."
"How come?"
"Your death is near."
Mr. Friendly pulls out a gun and shots Ashley in between the chest. She collapses.
Chapter 10: Revelations 2
Regaining consciousness, after realizing I never lost conscious, I rubbed on my chest. Pain was there, blood was there, but the bullet hole was missing. I reached into my bra pulling out the dove. Yes, the dove Sawyer gave me when he conned me out of my money. It then hit me. If what Mr. Friendly said was true, then how could this dove possibly be right where I always leave it? Close to my heart.
I got up in a rush, unsure of what to do. If what Mr. Friendly said is true, if I am the alpha dog, if I am their mother, I can't leave my kids behind, any of my kids behind. I realized the boat wasn't swaying, indicating that we had docked somewhere. I knew if I had to escape, now was the time. I crept to the door, which was slightly opened, and saw Mr. Friendly talking to Arzt. I tried to escape without notice and at the same time hear their conversation, so I put on my stealth mode.
"So do you think she bought the story?"
"Who knows, it doesn't matter though, she's dead."
"Poor girl. What are you going to do with her kids?"
"Prep them up until the time comes. So they can be ready y'know."
"She was a great woman, it's a shame she choose not to cooperate."
Just then, the woman who helped me onto the boat called exclaimed the children have escaped. This was great, just what I needed. My kids safe and my chance to escape. I bolted out the door as quietly as possible and jumped from the boat to the dock. I ran into the jungle, not looking back, never looking back, until I was sure out was out of sight.
Once I was a good 5 miles inland I decided to hide behind a black rock and catch myself. My breathe, my mentality, my truth, myself. I could picture it now, Artz running to Mr. Friendly wondering what he did with my body. The Mr. Friendly asking what he meant. Followed by Artz telling him the body was missing. Followed by Mr. Friendly's blame of stupidity for not making sure I was dead. I couldn't do anything but chuckle to myself like a mad man would when he killed his prey. Once I finished scaring myself I knew I had to move forward. I had to find a way back to camp. To inform everyone about what was "going" on. Whether it was true or not, they had to hear what I had to say and make sure everyone was ready for the confrontation.
I got up to begin my journey back into camp when I heard someone from behind me warning me not to move.
"You thought you were slick, you thought you could escape. How dare you try to belittle me!"
"Ha, admit it, I got'cha, I got ya good!"
"You're right you did, unfortunately for you, I don't make the same mistake twice!"
"Make sure you aim for the head this time, slinger."
"Trust me I will. After I aim for your leg, your arm, your chest and your stomach. Ill make you suffer for making a mockery out of me."
"Ridicule is my middle name."
"Middle name? Darling please, you don't even know you're first name."
I began to turn around, to face my enemy, to look fear right in the eye. "I do so, Slinger. The names Ashley. Ashley Widmore-Macintosh. And don't you forget it!"
"Ah, enough is enough!" Mr. Friendly pulled his trigger a multiple of five times. What happened next was a blank to me. Not because I closed my eyes but because someone had jumped in front of me, someone had taken a bullet for me.
"Ashley, run!"
"Joey!? W-what are you doing here!?"
"Joey eh? I see the rebels have their spies here on the island. Took you awhile to find our location."
"Spy, Joe-Joey is this true?"
"The truth doesn't matter now Ash... Run, find safety, inform the Losties of the Others. You can be their savior!"
"Tell me who you are!"
"Ev-ever Sheppard needs its sacrifice!"
"Tell me who I am!"
"Someone very dear to everyone!"
"So it's true then! I am an offspring of some type of experiment!"
"..."
"No, don't you die on me now! Tell me god dammit!"
"Whoa, God, that's a word I haven't heard in awhile. God. Ha, it tickles my funny bone. To think, in some way or another, you're a Goddess, and your creators, they can be considered Gods too. So I ask you Ash, what is a GOD?"
"Get away from me!"
"Don't try to hide; my security system informs me of where you are, so I can pinpoint your exact location whenever I want."
"Security system?"
Bullets sprang from the ground, shooting Mr. Fuckface in the leg. "Ash! I said run! There's no time for your questions! Resolve this and all your answers will come to you!"
"Right... Thank you Joey"
I ran away hearing Mr. F growling with pain. For some reason I was hoping Joey was still alive and whispered, "The names not Joey, its Specimen 520O7z. Thank you, mom." But that's only because the thought of me being this super important "Mother" intrigued me. If there was something that story accomplished, it was that it fucked with my mind. But I had to keep going, I had to give my trust to a dead man, I had to have faith in what he said. If I want answers, I must resolve this.
The thought of this security system knowing my every move scared me. Did it watch me when I took a dump also? I knew if what Mr. F said was true, that I couldn't escape. But a wounded Mr. F heightened my chances of escaping so I thought another little breather wouldn't hurt.
As I lay against a tree, I heard voices up ahead. Although I knew not where I was located, I knew I couldn't be so close to camp so soon. I decided to investigate it and found a group of people entering a bunker. There was blonde chick with a nice ass, a big black dude with a stick, and an old man hitting on... CINDY! I wanted to proceed forward, but a part of me told me not to intrude, that they looked hostile. Then, out of the bunker walked a pretty man with long brown hair. He was sporting a woman's tank top with a handkerchief. Once the man turned around, I noticed the breast and saw that that guy was no guy, but a girl. Lesbians, gotta love em. Stepping back I snapped a twig, I didn't think anyone heard it but when I looked out to make sure I saw the lesbian looking at me. Lesbians and their gaydar, gotta hate em! She started to approach me. I was afraid, unsure of what to do. A hand covered my mouth and tugged on my hair, leaving a single tear roll down my check.
"Ana! Ana where are you going?"
"I just saw someone."
"Someone, what do you mean someone?"
"I saw a woman in the bushes"
"A wo..."
"Yes Libby a woman!"
"Well, where is she?"
"What are you implying Cindy, that I made her up?"
"Yes, just like you thought there was a traitor amongst us!"
"What did you say!"
"Girls, girls break it up please! Eko, mind giving me a hand?"
"..."
"I liked you better when you spoke."
"I like you just the way you are."
"Let's go!" The group started to walk away, leaving me alone with whoever yanked on my hair.
"You're beginning to be a real pain in the ass! Why won't you die!"
"You! How... but your leg!"
"You still don't get it do you? This Utopia is all giving. A healer of its own. I cannot be stopped. Not until my mission is complete."
"Same answer."
"Huh?"
"I won't die cause I can't die! Not until I fulfill my mission."
"Ahahaha! Mission, your mission is complete dear. You've reproduced enough babies for me to live a thousand years"
"Stop it! Stop it with your lies!"
"Ahahaha... so what now, how do you manage to escape now?"
"Like dis."
An arrow goes throw Mr. F's shoulder. I turned around to see a woman with long brown hair, wearing rags.
"Where is Alex?"
"Danielle!"
"Ju's know my name?"
"How long do you plan to live on this island alone? We've taking everything away from you, and yet you still manage to want to live."
"I von't die. Not wivout Alex. You, young girl, run, I' got a bone to pick with thiz man."
And so I began to run once more. Who was that lady? Why is everyone coming to my aide! Then i realized this was starting to get ridiculous, so I stopped. I stopped and feel to my knees. I couldn't escape. There was no way of escaping. So I stayed there, kneeling down. Waiting for Mr. Friendly to return. And so I waited, and waited and waited. Until it began to rain.
The day was gloomy. It had pretty much rained all day. I really wanted to go out but it wasn't possible, not with all that rain. And I really wanted to go out too! Once the rain stopped it was already too late for I grew tired so I decided to stay home. When my kid was asleep I decided it was time for me to get my Z's too. That night I dreamt uneasy. Something was bugging me, I just couldn't make out what. I got up to check up on my kid but she was safe and sound. So off to bed I went again.
The next morning when I awoke, I turned on the morning news and saw that a deck off a balcony of a building collapsed, killing two people and hurting several others. They gave the location of the place and I realized that was the same party I was going to go to! Maybe I was so uneasy because I was meant to die that day and it was Deaths way of ruining the night for ruining his "cycle."
If that was the case, I've escaped death numerous times. The first plane crash, the deck, the rape when I was a girl, Jesse's suicide, for investigators said he was going to kill me but decided to kill himself instead. All these times Death has escaped me.
And now this plane crash, this shot to the chest, the two times I was captured; I've escaped. I was tired from running away from Death. Maybe my salvation can only be achieved by walking by Death. And so I waited for Mr. F to return. No more running, no more fear. The way things have played out have totally gotten to me in a psychological level. I don't know what to believe anymore. If I really am the offspring of an experiment who was used to prolong life, then so be it. I've lived, according to Mr. Friendly, a lot of years fruitful, with happy thoughts and happy times. Sure I can only remember the bad ones, but there were good ones. The birth of my children, my Spring Break, my wedding, meeting Sharon. Things that tend to go under the radar. Why is it we as humans only remember the bad things, the bad times, the bad experiences. It really drags us down. And so there I stayed, kneeling down, waiting for my salvation, until I heard maracas.
I turned around and saw a cloud of black smoke hovering away. I knew not what it was but I stayed where I was. Whether it was bad or good, I told myself to stay put, so I did. And there I laid until it reached my location. At first it was just long, extending outward, horizontally. It then proceeded to wrap around me forming a doughnut. I began to weep and breathe hard. This formless figure was starring me in the face. I closed my eyes and just waited for it to demolish me. They stayed shut until I heard my little girl's voice calling out to me.
"Mommy!"
"Julia! Tiffany!" I opened my eyes and in the black smoke saw images of my daughters. Happy memories, of when I first took them to school. Happy memories of when I celebrated their birthday! I grew happy and a smile appeared on my face. The black smoke then began to rotate, showing me all types of memories I have forgotten. Images of my "parents." Images of me on spring break. I saw Zach and Pat and Joey. All alive, all smiling. I saw my time spent in Corpus Christi and how much "fun" I had with the Mexican kids, playing soccer and tanning out in the sun. I saw Jesse, the first time I saw him, and I knew once again why I fell in love with him. I saw Sharon and beautiful she was. The argument she had with her parents when she told them she was gay. How her parents gave me hard looks. And she was banned from her house, which was great because it brought us closer together. The black smoke then stopped spinning. Focusing once more on the images if my kids. I smiled and for the first time on this island cried out of joy. They were newborns in the image. They then slowly aged, becoming more and more beautiful with age. My little princesses. In the image, my daughters extended there arms, telling me not to cry. They told me to come closer so they could wipe away my tears. The black smoke, in the shape of my daughters arm, reached out and touched my cheek. Feeling the coldness which it produced sent shivers down my spine. I looked around and saw my daughters. And Sharon, and Jesse, and Pat, and Zach, and Joey. They all gathered around me in this dark yet happy room and all joined in on a hug. Once I was done wiping away my tears, I turned around to see myself lying down on the ground. Face down looking so peaceful. I knew I had reached my Salvation, it wasn't what I expected but nothing in life was. With arms reaching around and hugging my legs I saw my little girls looking up and smiling at me. They asked me who that was on the ground. I told them a lost soul who found herself and was so happy she collapsed.
El Fin