Chapter 3: My Love to Keep Me Warm
The snow is snowing and the wind is blowing
But I can weather the storm!
What do I care how much it may storm?
For I've got my love to keep me warm
Danny turned on the Christmas tree lights and put on more Christmas music, choosing a compilation CD of contemporary tunes and picking up Lindsay's stocking as he passed by the fireplace. Lindsay curled up on the couch with a hot cup of tea, and pouted when Danny sat down beside her, holding her stocking just out of reach. "Let me have it. Why are you being so mean?"
"Now Montana, there are some rules about this." Danny grinned at her, resisting the urge to kiss her, for the moment at least.
"Why didn't we have rules last Christmas?" Lindsay argued. Danny's stocking was still hanging on the mantelpiece, but she couldn't reach it to hold it hostage.
"Well, now, I didn't want to scare you off too soon. I had to make sure you were going to stick, ya' know? But you're a full-blown Messer now; it's time to bring you into the full family tradition." His grin was positively wicked.
"You mean like eating breakfast before opening presents?" Lindsay moaned.
"Yes, that would be one." Danny couldn't resist her pout any more and kissed her sweetly. Her eyes fluttered closed. "The second is that we open one thing in our stocking, then the next person opens one. That way we can see everything everyone gets."
Lindsay opened her eyes again, "In my family, we just ripped all the presents open in about five minutes; then we looked to see what we had got." She sighed, before brightening. "But your way sounds good too. Only next year, no breakfast!"
Danny laughed and went to pull his stocking off its hook, turning around just in time to see Lindsay peeking in the top of her stocking, trying to see what was under the little box. He shook his head at her and said, mock-sternly, "What kind of example are you going to be for your children, Mrs. Messer? I can't trust you for a minute!"
Lindsay glared down at her belly, "If this one doesn't show up soon, there won't be any 'children' to be an example for! Just me, getting bigger and fatter and sitting around until I am the house!"
Danny sat beside her and leaned over to put his hands on her baby tummy. "Hey little one. You mama's getting impatient to see you, and I want to have a little talk with you about kicking me out of bed every night last week!" As he spoke, the baby stretched, and he could feel the little foot travel under Lindsay's skin from one side to the other. His smile lit up the room, and he followed the foot with his hand. "It must be getting crowded in there."
Lindsay sighed again. "Baby was due three days ago. I'm going nuts waiting."
Danny said quietly, "You know the due date's just an estimate, darling…"
Lindsay moved her hand in the classic "blah, blah, blah" sign, then placed the hand on Danny's cheek. "The baby will come when it's time," they chorused. Dora Flack had been to visit two days ago, and Lindsay had confided her worries, as she always did. Dora had been liberal with home baked cookies and motherly advice. Lindsay had finished off most of the cookies the night before (greed was one reason she had donated most of her baking to the youth centre), but she cherished the advice. Having lost her mother at 11 years old, Lindsay loved having an older woman to ask questions of, especially now.
She pushed Danny's stocking, which he had dropped when the baby moved, towards his hand. "You start."
Smiling, Danny shook his head and pulled the little blue box out of the top of Lindsay's stocking and handed it to her with a kiss. She opened the box and gasped with shock. Attached to a delicate chain, a silver Tiffany heart pendant with three perfect diamonds in the centre shone back at her.
Danny pulled the bracelet out of the box and put it on her. His fingers were shaking a little, she noticed. She ran her finger over it in disbelief, and breathed, "Danny, it's beautiful, but …"
He leaned over and stopped her words with a kiss. "Don't. Don't say but. Stop at beautiful. Because that's what you are. And that's what you have made my life. You and the baby are everything that is beautiful in my life."
Lindsay stared at him for a moment, deep brown eyes drowning in clear blue ones, and then hers filled with tears. She wrapped her arms around her neck and pulled him close for a kiss, tears running down her cheeks. "I love you," she whispered, as she finally pulled away. "And not because you have fine and expensive taste in jewelry," she teased. "At least, not just because of that!" She wiped her eyes and hugged him again. "I don't know what to say."
"You did just fine, Montana," Danny smiled, satisfied with her reaction. "My turn, I think?"
They went through the stockings one gift at a time, laughing at some, thanking each other for others. When Danny reached the CD, Lindsay showed him the website on the back of the CD, and told him she had donated money to the Operation Iraqi Children organization. "It was started by an actor, who plays in this group, "The Lieutenant Dan Band", and an author. They donate supplies to Iraqi schools and raise money for other things too. Mac told me about it, and I thought you'd like that."
By the time they finished the stocking gifts, Danny's eyes were rolling in his head, he was so tired. Lindsay glanced over to suggest starting on the tree gifts, and saw Danny could hardly keep his head up. Without a word, she got up from the couch and pulled him up with her. She led him to the bedroom and pushed him down on the bed. He was asleep almost before she had curled into bed beside him and pulled the covers over them both.
It was early in the afternoon when Danny woke up. Lindsay had napped a little, but had spent much of her time just watching him sleep. In the three years she had known him, he had changed so much, but when he was sleeping, she could see no differences in him at all. He looked young and at peace, his restless nature subdued and calm. She resisted the urge to touch him, knowing that would wake him instantly.
Finally, too restless to stay quiet any longer, but wanting Danny to sleep as long as possible, she slid out of bed and went to the kitchen to make another in an endless procession of cups of tea. She rubbed her belly unconsciously as she moved around the kitchen; the baby was quieter now than it had been two weeks ago. She rarely felt it kicking, although every so often it would seem to flop over like a person rolling over in bed, causing her to drop everything and just hold on until the baby settled again. The first time, Danny had been home, and had jumped up in a panic when she gasped. When she tried to explain the sensation to him, the best she could come up with was, "It's like being on a rollercoaster inside your own body."
His confused look told her that the image didn't explain much for him.
Today, though, baby seemed sleepy and not too interested. She had thought the major sugar rush of the past few days when she tried to OD on cookies would have got it going, but it appeared not. Her lower back was sore and every so often, a ripple of contractions would move over her abdomen. The first time that happened, she had leapt for the phone to call her midwife, who had reminded her about Braxton-Hicks contractions, a kind of training programme for labour, she called it.
"When you have contractions that make you lose your breath, then come in, okay? Otherwise, they'll admit you, and hospitals hate to let you go once the paperwork has been signed," Deborah laughed.
As the kettle boiled and Lindsay poured the water over the teabag in her mug, she smiled at the memory of Star Linn's birth eight months ago. Stella had not even gone off on maternity leave yet when the baby came, and had been born in the morgue, in what Stella still called her "sit-com" birth. The team had all been there: Sheldon Hawkes, with help from Sid Hammerback, had delivered the baby, although Don Flack had caught his baby daughter as she slipped from Stella. Danny and Mac Taylor had literally had Stella's back, as the tables in the morgue were not adjustable, and Lindsay, who had attended home births before, had been everywhere at once. It had been a loud, rushed, joyous occasion, and Lindsay had absolutely no desire to copy it.
She had briefly considered a home birth, even discussing it with Deborah, though not with Danny, and had finally decided that help was too unpredictable in New York City. In Stella's cases, a major traffic accident had closed a bridge and kept the EMTs from arriving until after the baby was born. Lindsay loved and trusted Danny, but she thought a nice clean hospital with people who could tell him what to do would be more comfortable for both of them, although she had secretly prepared a complete emergency delivery kit for the apartment just in case.
No such luck yet, though. Lindsay sighed as she took her tea into the living room and sat under the tree again. She was overdue, and the doctor said they wouldn't do anything as long as the baby remained content and healthy. She had to see the doctor every week and was to come in immediately if something changed. Other than Lindsay feeling tired and grumpy and ready to get rid of this burden, nothing had changed.
"Hey, why'd you let me sleep so long?" Danny stood in the doorway, looking rumpled and a little cross. "Is there any coffee left?" He yawned and wandered into the kitchen to search for coffee while Lindsay hid a grin. Waking up merry and bright was not one of Danny's gifts. He'd come back to his usual sweet self after some caffeine. She had long ago learned not to react.
Sure enough, a few minutes later, she heard his bare feet on the floor and smiled up at him when he dropped a kiss on her head. "So, I can't believe you've been so patient. You must be growing up!"
Lindsay shook her head and laughed, "Nope! Just slowing down. Hand me a package, Santa!"
A/N: If you want to see the Tiffany Heart Danny gave Lindsay, they do have a website for drooling over.
The Operation Iraqi Child organization is a real charity started by Gary Sinise (the actor mentioned by Lindsay), and the Lieutenant Dan band performs benefits for various causes. Unfortunately, there is not yet a CD available, although there is a website.