A/N: Sadly, the majority of this chapter is based on a true story. College is a crazy time and a crazy place. Anyway, I look forward to your feedback.

Cas was startled awake at around 3 AM by the sound of trickling water. In a panic, he turned on his lights and checked around his room, making sure there were no broken pipes or leaks. When he found no source of the sound, he sat back on his bed... The sound didn't stop.

"What the hell is that?"

That's when he noticed a puddle forming at the base of his door.

"What the fuck?"

He approached his door, and looked out the peephole, only to see Dean fucking Winchester leaning against his door. Growling, Cas flung the door open, only to see Dean standing there, cock in hand, pissing.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"

Dean took a minute to register what was going on. He was obviously wasted. Again. A huge smile crossed his face. "Cas! Why are you... why are you in the bathroom with me?"

"Dean." Cas was trying to control his rage. "You are not in the bathroom. You were pissing on my door, and now on my floor."

His smile turned into confusion. Too many words, apparently. "Why are you... what? Why are you staring at my... Why are you here?"

"God dammit, Dean."

The second Dean finished, Cas pulled him inside his room, and threw him onto his bed.

"You're so rough, Casti- Cas."

"Put your dick away. You have a mess to clean up. And when you sober up, you are going to steam clean my carpet. So, here are some paper towels. Get busy."

"Nah." Dean grabbed Cas' arm, and pulled him onto the bed with him. "It's bedtime."

"Dean, I don't want my room smelling like piss. You need to clean it up right now."

Dean had already passed out, still clutching Cas' arm. Cas sighed, growled, and plotted ways to kill Dean without getting caught. He wished he was a forensic scientist, or something. He at least wished Dean would have pulled up his pants, and tucked himself back into his shorts before passing out... Then Cas had a brilliant idea.

Carefully, he reached into Dean's pockets, fishing out Dean's room key. Dean wasn't gonna bother him in there. And surely Chuck wouldn't mind. So, he peeled his arm free, climbed off the bed, shut off his room lights, and left Dean alone in his room as he headed to Dean's room to sleep peacefully for the night.

The next morning, Cas awoke well-rested for once. No Dean to disturb him. Chuck was already awake, but was hardly shocked at finding Cas sleeping in Dean's bed.

Chuck didn't even look away from his keyboard. "Let me guess, Dean blacked out in your room?"

Cas just looked at him sleepily. "Yeah... How'd you know?"

"Well, he was wasted last night, came in here, and kept talking about you, and all that... So I kinda suggested he go visit you."

The bastard. "Thanks for that, Chuck."

"At least he didn't steal a couch cushion this time?"

His eyes widened. "You knew about that, too?"

"He's not the quietest person in the dorms. He said it was part of some master plot. As long as it doesn't disrupt me, I don't care."

Cas knew he must get Dean back. No one walks all over Cas. Not even Gabriel. The justice will be swift and merciless.

"Chuck, you didn't see me in here today, okay?"

"Yes, boss." Knowing Chuck, he'd probably forget anyway.

Cas grabbed Dean's mattress from his bed, and quickly carried it out of the room. He knew exactly where he was going to take it, too. There was a storage room on the top floor that only RAs could access. There's no way Dean would find it, unless he begged Cas for help. That'll teach him.

After his little trip to the storage room, Cas decided it was time to wake up Dean. He walked to his own room, and unlocked the door, seeing Dean in exactly the same spot and state of dress he was in when Cas left. Seizing the chance, he slipped Dean's key back into his pocket so he'd be none the wiser. He then grabbed the roll of paper towels, and began to beat Dean in the head with them.

"Wake up, dumbass. You've got work to do."

Dean groaned from where he was sprawled out and tried to avoid the roll of paper towels, "Work?"

"You've got a door to wash, and a carpet to clean."

"What are you talking about?" A look of confusion spread over his face as he noticed his state of undress. He quickly tucked himself back into his boxers, and refastened his pants. He looked at Cas with uncertainty, hoping for answers.

Cas smacked him in the head with the paper towels again. "You. Last night. Pissing on my door and my floor. Ring any bells?"

Dean's eyes grew wide. "That really happened?"

Cas pointed to a large discolored spot on the carpet. "You tell me."

"No. There's no way! I thought I was dreaming... Thought I was a dog, marking my territory on some tree. Keeping all the other boys away."

"It was my door, not a tree. And now you get to steam clean my carpet. I already called maintenance to drop off a carpet cleaner. And house cleaning has some gloves and disinfectant spray. So, get to it."

Dean groaned and moaned and pouted his hardest, but Cas wasn't buying any of it. He grabbed Dean's arm, and pulled him out of his bed. He shoved the roll of paper towels against Dean's chest, spun him towards the door, and pushed him out.

"But, Cas..."

"Nope. You can pick up the supplies from your special friend at the front desk. I'm sure she'd love to hear why you have to clean my carpet, too."

He watched as Dean glared, and headed off towards the front desk. A smug sense of satisfaction grew deep inside, and Dean hasn't even been to his room yet to realize his mattress was missing. This was going to be an amazing day. Totally worth it.