Chapter 3 Blue
Jacob and I had a good routine going. Every night he was outside in the forest behind my house, watching over me as I slept. The next morning I would be over at his house and waited for him to wake up. I usually watched more Oprah and Ellen than I ever wanted, so sometimes I went to the beach and he joined me later.
But not today. Because today is the day I would finally be able to cliff dive.
It's been almost a week since I demanded we do this, and spring break was over tomorrow. Nothing could stop me from jumping now, not even mother nature. I didn't care if the sky was falling! Jacob will be taking me or I'll go without him. Well, at least I'll threaten that. It was critical for someone to make sure I don't drown and Jacob will not let that happen.
"Bye, Charlie!" I yelled as I ran past the kitchen and out of the house, my change of clothes already in the truck. The weather was not as bad as usual, only slightly drizzling. Perfect.
I drove over to Jake's and for the first time I was truly upset about my truck's lack of acceleration.
I finally got to his house. I jammed my truck into park and ran towards the house. I was so used to Jacob running outside to meet me it took me a few seconds to remember I had to knock on the door.
Billy answered the door and let me in. "Hello, Bella."
"Hi. Is Jake still sleeping?" I asked, not needing Billy to answer. As soon as the words were out of my mouth a loud noise that I'm not sure how to describe, like a combined cough, snort, and grunt, came from the hallway. My head whipped towards the noise and my eyes went wide in shock. How does Jake sleep with that constant noise?
Billy snorted at my reaction. "Yeah, he was out most of the night. You can go wake him. It's about time he get up."
I wanted so badly to wake him, but I just couldn't knowing everything he's been doing for me. "No, no rush. I'll let him get more sleep."
"Well, make yourself at home."
I sat down on the couch. "Thanks."
I begged mother nature to keep the weather calm throughout the day. I wasn't sure how much longer I was willing to wait until I drove out to a cliff myself, but I'm sure a few more hours wouldn't be too distressing.
The local news and two talk shows later, Jacob finally stopped his impossibly loud snoring.
He came out of the room with his hair going in every direction. "Hey, Bells." He said, clearly still not fully awake with his sleepy voice and half open eyes.
No time for politeness now. I've been waiting for too long. "Hey. You ready yet?" I glanced at him, eyebrows raised, trying not to grin at his adorably clouded eyes.
He looked at his pajama pants and wife beater, then looked at me and grinned. "Alright. I'll be ready soon." He said walking to the bathroom.
"Thank you, Jacob!" I yelled after him.
In less time than I thought humanly possible he was out and ready to go.
"Quick enough for ya?" He asked me, pulling me up from the couch and guiding me outside.
"Yeah. Is that another one of your… powers? Super speed?" I asked him, only half joking.
"No, that's all me. I'm that good. And it helps that guys don't take an hour to do our hair."
"That's because you didn't do anything to your hair!" He really didn't do a thing. It was still the same messy bed head.
He smirked. "And I still look good." I giggled at him. I wasn't gonna disagree. He looked kind of beautiful, as usual. "Let me drive. I know exactly what cliff we should go to."
I threw him my keys. "Great. I can't believe this is finally happening."
"Believe it." He opened the door for me. I hopped in.
He got in and started the engine. It roared to life. "You still want to jump? You look panicky." He asked as we drove away from his house, reaching over and taking my hand.
The butterflies in my stomach seemed to multiply every second we got closer. It had to be from excitement, I told myself. "I've been waiting so long to do this. We are going to do this."
"Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself." I glared at him. He might not be completely wrong, but I tried not to let it show. So what if I was having second thoughts? Any sane person would. But in the back of my mind was a constant reminder that I had to do this.
Then the truck came to a stop. He let go of my hand temporarily to go around and open my door. He helped me out and we both walked towards the cliff's edge, I was looking at my feet the whole time.
This is it. This is the moment. We're actually on the cliff.
I looked up at Jacob. I had to focus on something, anything but what was a few feet ahead of me. What happened to brave Bella? I asked myself. Get it together!
He was looking out at the freezing dangerous water. How could he be so calm looking at the water we were about to plunge into? "The water's perfect, Bells." He turned to me and laughed at my terrified face. "And we're on the lowest cliff. You can look." I nodded, but didn't turn my head at all. "We really don't have to do this, Bella."
"No, no. I need this." My eyes glazed over. I needed to hear him. This was the only way I would hear him. So why wasn't he trying to talk me out of it?
"You should look at…"
"I will." I snapped at him. I forced myself to glance down. It wasn't bad. Actually, the gorgeous blue water looks inviting. The calming waves called out to me. I knew I could do this now. I will do this. I took a small step forward towards the edge.
Let me hear you one more time, I silently begged, please. My stomach felt like it was slowly ripping apart again, after what little healing I did in the past months. Was he completely gone? He took everything, my heart, my sanity, and all proof that he existed. Now I can't hold on to the one thing I had left? All that I have is fading memories, all that I can do is dream of his face as it slowly gets blurry after time. Damn this inconsistent human memory. That is not enough. I need more. I need something.
I took another step.
I'm going to jump. Now…
Where are you?
"You ready to jump?" Jacob asked me as softly as his rough voice could, probably afraid I would snap at him again. I looked up at him, panic in my eyes.
"Yes! Let's jump right now! I'm ready!" I almost screamed, trying to get his attention. WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?
I think Jake took my bizarre behavior as excitement and smiled. "Awesome. Let's do this!" He yelled back and gave my hand a squeeze. I held his hand with all my strength, the warmth somewhat comforting me.
I'm about to jump. I'm going to jump. Right now.
"On the count of three, WE ARE GOING TO JUMP!" I cried out to him, grasping my stomach.
You have to stop me.
"One…" Jacob yelled to the sky.
Please stop me, Edward.
"Two…" we both screamed.
In one second, I'm gone.
"Three!" We leapt off the cliff. Nothing.
You're gone.
I screamed in agony all the way down.